It's nice to have a job that will allow me the opportunity to listen to my iPod. Oh, wait... I sold my iPod. Well, at least I get to listen to the radio in our work truck when we're driving around from park to park.
I will say this, rap/hip-hop music has really turned into shit over the years. Back in my day, like the early 90's, when rap/hip-hop music was really something to enjoy and respect. It also had a lot of meaning in the lyrics.
Now I've noticed it's nothing more than samples (or sometimes even remakes) of classic sounds from the 80's and lyrics bragging about booze, bling, bitches and bread. Where did the substance of rap/hip-hop music go?
"This is why I'm hot", my ass! I kind of liked that song the first 80 times I heard it in a two hour period. But now I've listened closer to the lyrics and realized that the artist, Mims, is a douche. Someone making more money than I'll ever see in my life.
Oh, wait... THAT'S why he is hot and I'm not. Success. Even if it is over a dumb ass song. Way to go, Mims. You're right. You're hot. Way to rub it in my face and make my life seem that much more bleak while you make thousands by the hour with this sure to be Grammy® winning song. Well, at least a Vibe award.
I'm obviously harboring some issues and resentment, huh? So what! FUCK MIMS!
Here is my weekly Top 20 list of songs I was enjoying last week. Actually, since I was repeatedly listening to the debut release of Monsterbuck's album "Land Of Make Believers", you'll notice all of the tracks are featured in this weeks list.
I'm just trying to make a believer out of YOU to buy the album. DO IT and I'll give you a Jolly Rancher. Listen to me, cyber buddies. Buy some true music that is "hot" because it has meaning, depth, quality and strength.
As a matter a fact, spend your money on not only just artists like Monsterbuck but those artists out there who don't have the ability yet to break the big time.
Did I just get on a soapbox there?
Opps.
Mike's Top 20 Songs:
20: 2 Pac "California Love"
19: Hothouse Flowers "Dance To The Storm"
18: The Beatles "Yellow Submarine"
17: John Williams "Olympic Fanfare & Theme"
16: The Blues Brothers "Guilty"
15: The Replacements "Talent Show"
14: The Ocean Blue "Mercury"
13: The Beastie Boys "Paul Revere"
12: Public Enemy "911 Is A Joke"
11: Monsterbuck "Shine"
10: Monsterbuck "Swimming Industry"
09: Monsterbuck "Like It Did Before"
08: Monsterbuck "Frozen"
07: Monsterbuck "I See You Tonight"
06: Monsterbuck "Volunteer"
05: Monsterbuck "Early Lessons In Subtraction"
04: Monsterbuck "Felicity"
03: Monsterbuck "Attention Song"
02: Monsterbuck "Tender Is The Evening"
01: Monsterbuck "Arto Monaco"
-Mike The Janitor
©2007
Millenoma Publishing
Showing newest 17 of 19 posts from March 2007. Show older posts
Showing newest 17 of 19 posts from March 2007. Show older posts
3.31.2007
3.30.2007
"The Mexicans brought them over from Spain."
This is something that came out of Ronda's mouth as we picked up some of the BIGGEST sagebrush (a.k.a. tumbleweeds) I have EVER seen in my life.
Ronda and myself were joking about the size of the sagebrush and just how in the hell we were going to collect it all and put in the back of our Dodge Ram (with a Hemi) pick-up truck.
I don't remember why she said it, but she did. And it was pretty damn funny. To be picking up such large sagebrush and hear a co-worker say: "The Mexicans brought them over from Spain" was just a riot.
She later corrected herself by saying that she meant that the sagebrush was brought over by the Spanish settlers from Spain. I think I knew what she meant, anyway, when she made the Mexican comment.
This is yet another duty of a Parks Maintenance Worker in South Jordan. Collecting sagebrush that has collect in the areas of the park strips that we maintain. The sagebrush in this particular area (just west of Bangerter Highway on 10400 South) was massive.
It was odd, too. For whatever reason, the wind, the Mexicans, the Spaniards, God, WHOMEVER decided to make a large pile of these damn things right in this one area. Normally you'll see them collected all along streets in the area. But this one little section of sidewalk had a huge wall built up with nothing but sagebrush.
It was so bad that it blocked the sidewalk completely. If you wanted to walk on this sidewalk going east or west, you'd have to walk out into the street practically to get around the wall of sagebrush.
In my pictures file, you'll find a picture of one single sagebrush filling up the entire bed of our work truck. The picture isn't the greatest but you'll get a sense of the size of the sagebrush.
It took us a couple of trips to get all the sagebrush. And, not to sound like a baby, but those things hurt. They're like full of little, tiny thorns that poke right through your clothing and gloves. It kind of sucks ass, actually.
I also learned how to sharpen lawnmower blades this past weeks. That was good times. I even learned how to operate a riding lawnmower which was fun and frustrating at first.
This isn't your standard Craftsman riding lawnmower, people. Oh no no no. The mowers we have are called "Dixie Choppers" and make the claim RIGHT ON THE MOWER that they are "The World's Fastest Lawnmower".
They turn on a dime, too. It takes some getting used to. You sit in a chair and pull to handles on your left and right over your lap. These control your turns and forward/backward movement as well as braking.
To go forward, you simply push your handles forward. To go backwards, same thing. To turn right, you push the right handle forward. To turn left, you push the left handle forward. Same if you want to travel backward.
I'm sure you get the idea.
Sounds easy, right? Looks easy, too.
However, when you actually get on this thing, it's a whole different story. THEY HAUL ASS! Totally living up to their claim, the Dixie Chopper IS the world's fastest lawnmower.
Imagine being on a souped up go-cart with a 60" cutting deck and the ability to go about 12 miles an hour. WOW! But you have to be careful because the lawnmower has a zero turn radius. It's quite an amazing piece of equipment.
If you're in the market for a race car of a lawnmower starting at seven grand, this is your mower.
I also had a funny moment where I realized that I'm living up to my radio name, Mike The Janitor.
This past week I helped one of my other co-workers, Allen. Allen is charge of maintaining the park restrooms and garbage collection. It's a full time job because of the amount of garbage cans we provide in all of our parks as well as several bathroom facilities.
I had to learn our parks a little better since I'll soon be assisting in on-call duties. When you're on-call, your main job is to keep the garbage cans empty and making sure the restrooms are stocked and clean.
It's also the responsibility of the on-call person to lock up the bathrooms at night. If I'm not mistaken, there are six or seven parks with bathroom facilities throughout South Jordan.
Therefore, I've truly become Mike The Janitor.
Ahhhhhh, the irony.
I also did a variety of other labor intensive tasks like tilling some volleyball pits and a "tot lot" (playground) to freshen up the sand. I also helped in spraying chemicals for weed control around trees in a couple of parks.
I helped mend all the fences surrounding our softball area and leveling out the gates, too, because most of them were crooked.
It was a fairly busy week. Even with the shitty weather.
I did happen to meet another co-worker of mine who has been out since I've been hired. His name is Reggie. Reggie had been out due to some medical procedures he went through.
When he came back, he made sure to give me a hard time about wearing my ID. around my neck. I guess he did this because he's buddies with Rob who was a dick about it a couple of weeks ago.
I believe I mentioned what happened in a previous blog. If you want specifics, find the blog and read the story about what I'm talking about regarding my identification. Which, I'd like to point out here, is supposed to be worn where it is visible during all working hours.
Call me a geek, but I like wearing my ID. For some reason, I feel important and a part of something important. I guess that's just a part of my character and work ethic. It pisses me off that some of the people I work with are making fun of me because I have different principles than they do. Excuse the shit out of me for giving a damn about my job and caring about what is expected of me.
I did find out that I'll probably be working under a particular lead worker that I already don't care for. I know that is a negative attitude to have but I can't deny the frustration.
However, I will not let my personal feelings get in the way of my working relationship with this person. I will do what is requested of me to the best of my ability and only raise concerns when the situation calls for it.
I am curious to know how this person became a lead worker, though. I work with many more qualified, intelligent and friendly people to hold this position.
Listen to me... already bitching. Sheesh. I have to keep positive or I'll wind up in my old self-destructive mode again.
Well, I'm in Starbucks since my free wireless internet isn't working at home. I need another cup of coffee and I have to pee.
-Mike The Janitor
©2007
Millenoma Publishing
Ronda and myself were joking about the size of the sagebrush and just how in the hell we were going to collect it all and put in the back of our Dodge Ram (with a Hemi) pick-up truck.
I don't remember why she said it, but she did. And it was pretty damn funny. To be picking up such large sagebrush and hear a co-worker say: "The Mexicans brought them over from Spain" was just a riot.
She later corrected herself by saying that she meant that the sagebrush was brought over by the Spanish settlers from Spain. I think I knew what she meant, anyway, when she made the Mexican comment.
This is yet another duty of a Parks Maintenance Worker in South Jordan. Collecting sagebrush that has collect in the areas of the park strips that we maintain. The sagebrush in this particular area (just west of Bangerter Highway on 10400 South) was massive.
It was odd, too. For whatever reason, the wind, the Mexicans, the Spaniards, God, WHOMEVER decided to make a large pile of these damn things right in this one area. Normally you'll see them collected all along streets in the area. But this one little section of sidewalk had a huge wall built up with nothing but sagebrush.
It was so bad that it blocked the sidewalk completely. If you wanted to walk on this sidewalk going east or west, you'd have to walk out into the street practically to get around the wall of sagebrush.
In my pictures file, you'll find a picture of one single sagebrush filling up the entire bed of our work truck. The picture isn't the greatest but you'll get a sense of the size of the sagebrush.
It took us a couple of trips to get all the sagebrush. And, not to sound like a baby, but those things hurt. They're like full of little, tiny thorns that poke right through your clothing and gloves. It kind of sucks ass, actually.
I also learned how to sharpen lawnmower blades this past weeks. That was good times. I even learned how to operate a riding lawnmower which was fun and frustrating at first.
This isn't your standard Craftsman riding lawnmower, people. Oh no no no. The mowers we have are called "Dixie Choppers" and make the claim RIGHT ON THE MOWER that they are "The World's Fastest Lawnmower".
They turn on a dime, too. It takes some getting used to. You sit in a chair and pull to handles on your left and right over your lap. These control your turns and forward/backward movement as well as braking.
To go forward, you simply push your handles forward. To go backwards, same thing. To turn right, you push the right handle forward. To turn left, you push the left handle forward. Same if you want to travel backward.
I'm sure you get the idea.
Sounds easy, right? Looks easy, too.
However, when you actually get on this thing, it's a whole different story. THEY HAUL ASS! Totally living up to their claim, the Dixie Chopper IS the world's fastest lawnmower.
Imagine being on a souped up go-cart with a 60" cutting deck and the ability to go about 12 miles an hour. WOW! But you have to be careful because the lawnmower has a zero turn radius. It's quite an amazing piece of equipment.
If you're in the market for a race car of a lawnmower starting at seven grand, this is your mower.
I also had a funny moment where I realized that I'm living up to my radio name, Mike The Janitor.
This past week I helped one of my other co-workers, Allen. Allen is charge of maintaining the park restrooms and garbage collection. It's a full time job because of the amount of garbage cans we provide in all of our parks as well as several bathroom facilities.
I had to learn our parks a little better since I'll soon be assisting in on-call duties. When you're on-call, your main job is to keep the garbage cans empty and making sure the restrooms are stocked and clean.
It's also the responsibility of the on-call person to lock up the bathrooms at night. If I'm not mistaken, there are six or seven parks with bathroom facilities throughout South Jordan.
Therefore, I've truly become Mike The Janitor.
Ahhhhhh, the irony.
I also did a variety of other labor intensive tasks like tilling some volleyball pits and a "tot lot" (playground) to freshen up the sand. I also helped in spraying chemicals for weed control around trees in a couple of parks.
I helped mend all the fences surrounding our softball area and leveling out the gates, too, because most of them were crooked.
It was a fairly busy week. Even with the shitty weather.
I did happen to meet another co-worker of mine who has been out since I've been hired. His name is Reggie. Reggie had been out due to some medical procedures he went through.
When he came back, he made sure to give me a hard time about wearing my ID. around my neck. I guess he did this because he's buddies with Rob who was a dick about it a couple of weeks ago.
I believe I mentioned what happened in a previous blog. If you want specifics, find the blog and read the story about what I'm talking about regarding my identification. Which, I'd like to point out here, is supposed to be worn where it is visible during all working hours.
Call me a geek, but I like wearing my ID. For some reason, I feel important and a part of something important. I guess that's just a part of my character and work ethic. It pisses me off that some of the people I work with are making fun of me because I have different principles than they do. Excuse the shit out of me for giving a damn about my job and caring about what is expected of me.
I did find out that I'll probably be working under a particular lead worker that I already don't care for. I know that is a negative attitude to have but I can't deny the frustration.
However, I will not let my personal feelings get in the way of my working relationship with this person. I will do what is requested of me to the best of my ability and only raise concerns when the situation calls for it.
I am curious to know how this person became a lead worker, though. I work with many more qualified, intelligent and friendly people to hold this position.
Listen to me... already bitching. Sheesh. I have to keep positive or I'll wind up in my old self-destructive mode again.
Well, I'm in Starbucks since my free wireless internet isn't working at home. I need another cup of coffee and I have to pee.
-Mike The Janitor
©2007
Millenoma Publishing
3.25.2007
Mike's Top 20
Another week, another list of music. I have to admit that I've been listening to a lot of one-hit-wonders from the 70's as of late. Songs from Bread, 10cc, Player, The Orleans, America and a few others. Maybe that's because I was born in 1973, eh?
That really has nothing to do with my Top 20 list, really. I will admit that I can't get enough of hearing "Baby Come Back" by Player or "I'm Not In Love" by 10cc. I'm a sucker for 70's bass lines.
Anyway, here is my weekly Top 20 songs that I was enjoying last week.
20: Chris Kowanko "Nobody's Fool"
19: TelePopMusik "Breathe"
18: Temple Of The Dog "Say Hello 2 Heaven"
17: Tenacious D. "Kielbasa"
16: Pink Floyd "Mother"
15: Bush "The Chemicals Between Us"
14: Ne-Yo "Because Of You"
13: Justin Timberlake "What Goes Around... Comes Around"
12: The Shins "Phantom Limb"
11: A Perfect Circle "3 Libras"
10: DaDa "Dizz Knee Land"
09: Prince "I Would Die 4 U/Baby, I'm A Star"
08: INXS "Need You Tonight/Mediate"
07: DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince "Code Red"
06: The Statler Brothers "Flowers On The Wall"
05: Phish "Chalk Dust Torture"
04: Joss Stone "You Had Me"
03: Sting "After The Rain Has Fallen"
02: Yello "I Love You"
01: Men Without Hats "Moonbeam"
-Mike The Janitor
©2007
Millenoma Publishing
That really has nothing to do with my Top 20 list, really. I will admit that I can't get enough of hearing "Baby Come Back" by Player or "I'm Not In Love" by 10cc. I'm a sucker for 70's bass lines.
Anyway, here is my weekly Top 20 songs that I was enjoying last week.
20: Chris Kowanko "Nobody's Fool"
19: TelePopMusik "Breathe"
18: Temple Of The Dog "Say Hello 2 Heaven"
17: Tenacious D. "Kielbasa"
16: Pink Floyd "Mother"
15: Bush "The Chemicals Between Us"
14: Ne-Yo "Because Of You"
13: Justin Timberlake "What Goes Around... Comes Around"
12: The Shins "Phantom Limb"
11: A Perfect Circle "3 Libras"
10: DaDa "Dizz Knee Land"
09: Prince "I Would Die 4 U/Baby, I'm A Star"
08: INXS "Need You Tonight/Mediate"
07: DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince "Code Red"
06: The Statler Brothers "Flowers On The Wall"
05: Phish "Chalk Dust Torture"
04: Joss Stone "You Had Me"
03: Sting "After The Rain Has Fallen"
02: Yello "I Love You"
01: Men Without Hats "Moonbeam"
-Mike The Janitor
©2007
Millenoma Publishing
3.24.2007
Arto Monaco
Do any of you know who Arto Monaco is? Neither did I until recently. And I have the band "Monsterbuck" to thank for introducing me to an individual who enjoyed making children happy with theme parks he created for them.
He passed away a few years ago but is known for making a theme park known as the "Land Of Make Believe" that is nestled away in Upper Jay, New York. The theme park is still there but has long since been closed down because of massive flooding in the area it was built.
Take some time to visit some of the links I've found in relation to him. It's pretty interesting what he did in his lifetime.
The Arto Monaco Historical Society
A magazine article about Arto Monaco
The reason I bring up Arto Monaco is because I'm a fan of the band Monsterbuck. Monsterbuck calls Upper Jay, New York their home. So I'm sure they're pretty familiar with Arto Monaco because I bet he is a local legend around the area.
Monsterbuck also finally released their debut CD "Land Of Makebelievers" and they were nice enough to send me a copy. I received it yesterday when I got home from work and have listened to it about 20 times since pulling it from my mailbox.
Arto Monaco and his vision are an inspiration to the band for their debut release, it would seem. As a matter a fact, the last track on the "Land Of Makebelievers" is entitled "Arto Monaco". And it's one of my favorite songs on this debut release.
A total of 11 tracks can be enjoyed on this release from Monsterbuck. Outside of "Arto Monaco", I've also love "Shine", "Like It Did Before", "I See You Tonight" and "Felicity".
Monsterbuck is comprised of three guys by the names of Chris Kowanko, Byron Renderer and his brother, Scott Renderer. I became aware of this band because of Chris Kowanko.
A few years ago, I tracked down Chris because I wanted him to know how much I enjoyed his debut solo release from 1992 simply entitled "Kowanko".
I got that CD from a radio station I worked for here in Salt Lake that had been sent the disc as a promotional copy. My program director gave it to me along with some other discs of music that didn't fit our format.
I loved the Kowanko CD. I thought it was fresh and different. Chris has an interesting sound that is unlike most artists. Plus he is a great songwriter and I could always relate to a lot of what he was conveying musically.
Years and years passed until one day (February 16th, 2004 to be exact), I found Chris via the internet. I told him I was a fan of his debut CD and told him a bit about myself. I still have the original email in my Yahoo mailbox.
He responded with an email back thanking me for my letter and support. He also offered to send me his second solo release called "Spell" for free. I never took him up on that.
A couple of years later, I came across that email and sent him another letter to see what he had been up to. That's when he told me of his new band, Monsterbuck. I also made sure to tell him I bought his second solo album "Spell", on iTunes. I even wrote a review on the release.
We've since sent a few emails back and forth. We've become cyber buddies. He sent me a copy of the Monsterbuck E.P. a few months back and now I have a copy of this fantastic debut release.
The debut was actually sent to me by Byron Renderer. Byron has sent me a couple of kind emails in relation to my blogs here on MySpace. I'm flattered. It's nice to have such talented individuals compliment you on your own talent.
When I opened the envelope the CD was in, I noticed a small, orange Post-It stuck to the CD cover that said: "Good luck with your interesting life's saga -B".
That made me laugh out loud. Or, in Internetish, LOL.
I'm happy for these guys and this great piece of musical work they've put out. I'm glad they've finally got it available for purchase so that others, LIKE YOU READING THIS (HINT HINT), will enjoy some great music.
Please stop on by their MySpace page and check out the 411 on the band. Purchase their CD and some merchandise. Tell 'em Mike The Janitor Jordan sent you!
No, I don't get a percentage. However, I like playing pseudo West Coast Distribution Agent for them. Call me a groupie, call me a stalker, call me whatever... just buy their CD! And a couple for friends and family since Christmas is just around the corner!
You may find out more about Monsterbuck and purchase their debut CD release "Land Of Makebelievers" at Monsterbuck on MySpace or on their website at the Official Monsterbuck website
To learn more about lead singer Chris Kowanko and his two solo releases (which are fantastic as well), check out iTunes by doing a search under his name or visit The Chris Kowanko official website
-Mike The Janitor
©2007
Millenoma Publishing
He passed away a few years ago but is known for making a theme park known as the "Land Of Make Believe" that is nestled away in Upper Jay, New York. The theme park is still there but has long since been closed down because of massive flooding in the area it was built.
Take some time to visit some of the links I've found in relation to him. It's pretty interesting what he did in his lifetime.
The Arto Monaco Historical Society
A magazine article about Arto Monaco
The reason I bring up Arto Monaco is because I'm a fan of the band Monsterbuck. Monsterbuck calls Upper Jay, New York their home. So I'm sure they're pretty familiar with Arto Monaco because I bet he is a local legend around the area.
Monsterbuck also finally released their debut CD "Land Of Makebelievers" and they were nice enough to send me a copy. I received it yesterday when I got home from work and have listened to it about 20 times since pulling it from my mailbox.
Arto Monaco and his vision are an inspiration to the band for their debut release, it would seem. As a matter a fact, the last track on the "Land Of Makebelievers" is entitled "Arto Monaco". And it's one of my favorite songs on this debut release.
A total of 11 tracks can be enjoyed on this release from Monsterbuck. Outside of "Arto Monaco", I've also love "Shine", "Like It Did Before", "I See You Tonight" and "Felicity".
Monsterbuck is comprised of three guys by the names of Chris Kowanko, Byron Renderer and his brother, Scott Renderer. I became aware of this band because of Chris Kowanko.
A few years ago, I tracked down Chris because I wanted him to know how much I enjoyed his debut solo release from 1992 simply entitled "Kowanko".
I got that CD from a radio station I worked for here in Salt Lake that had been sent the disc as a promotional copy. My program director gave it to me along with some other discs of music that didn't fit our format.
I loved the Kowanko CD. I thought it was fresh and different. Chris has an interesting sound that is unlike most artists. Plus he is a great songwriter and I could always relate to a lot of what he was conveying musically.
Years and years passed until one day (February 16th, 2004 to be exact), I found Chris via the internet. I told him I was a fan of his debut CD and told him a bit about myself. I still have the original email in my Yahoo mailbox.
He responded with an email back thanking me for my letter and support. He also offered to send me his second solo release called "Spell" for free. I never took him up on that.
A couple of years later, I came across that email and sent him another letter to see what he had been up to. That's when he told me of his new band, Monsterbuck. I also made sure to tell him I bought his second solo album "Spell", on iTunes. I even wrote a review on the release.
We've since sent a few emails back and forth. We've become cyber buddies. He sent me a copy of the Monsterbuck E.P. a few months back and now I have a copy of this fantastic debut release.
The debut was actually sent to me by Byron Renderer. Byron has sent me a couple of kind emails in relation to my blogs here on MySpace. I'm flattered. It's nice to have such talented individuals compliment you on your own talent.
When I opened the envelope the CD was in, I noticed a small, orange Post-It stuck to the CD cover that said: "Good luck with your interesting life's saga -B".
That made me laugh out loud. Or, in Internetish, LOL.
I'm happy for these guys and this great piece of musical work they've put out. I'm glad they've finally got it available for purchase so that others, LIKE YOU READING THIS (HINT HINT), will enjoy some great music.
Please stop on by their MySpace page and check out the 411 on the band. Purchase their CD and some merchandise. Tell 'em Mike The Janitor Jordan sent you!
No, I don't get a percentage. However, I like playing pseudo West Coast Distribution Agent for them. Call me a groupie, call me a stalker, call me whatever... just buy their CD! And a couple for friends and family since Christmas is just around the corner!
You may find out more about Monsterbuck and purchase their debut CD release "Land Of Makebelievers" at Monsterbuck on MySpace or on their website at the Official Monsterbuck website
To learn more about lead singer Chris Kowanko and his two solo releases (which are fantastic as well), check out iTunes by doing a search under his name or visit The Chris Kowanko official website
-Mike The Janitor
©2007
Millenoma Publishing
"There's a used condom under that tree."
"What"?
"Yeah. Right over under that tree. Actually, there are two under there and another one over by those metal posts".
"SOILED condoms"?
"Yep".
"As in USED condoms? Under the tree"?
"YES! See, I told you life in the Parks Department was exciting. I warned you that we find condoms".
This was part of a conversation between my co-worker Ronda and myself. We had been assigned the task of cleaning up garbage around the main park of South Jordan. Also known as "City Park".
Sure enough, much to my surprise, there were THREE used condoms scattered about in an area of City Park next to the tennis courts.
Someone was having a good time and it wasn't me. That made me really pissed.
Then I thought about my ex-girlfriend Amanda and how I wished she would call me and say hello and hang out. I had many good times with that girl and feel sorta bad that she isn't in my life anymore. Not just because of the sex but because I liked her.
Used condoms can spawn some really deep seeded emotions and feelings with me, apparently.
As I was thinking about that looking down at these used condoms under a tree, I realized that either Ronda or myself were going to have to clean them up.
Oh HELL no.
"I'm not doing it" proclaims Ronda.
"We can't just leave three used condoms laying about here in the park, Ronda" says me.
"I know. That's why you can do it" says Ronda with a grin.
Fuck. Here comes the Fuckin' New Guy to save the day! Super FNG!
So, with a stick, I proceed to retrieve the three used condoms. I gag a couple of times while thinking: "Well, isn't this the life. Picking up used condoms out of a park"!
What the fuck is wrong with people? Listen here, cyber buddies, start respecting your parks, would ya?
For Christ's sake, who do you think has to pick up after you when you decide to be some slob? I don't get paid enough to pick up condoms, new or used, out of our lovely parks.
Get a room already. Would you leave used condoms lying about in your seedy motel room?
We find all kinds of shit in the parks. I've gained a new respect for parks all over our great nation and for the people who maintain them. I'm one of those people now.
Welcome to week three of the rest of my life. Condom retrieval.
I have to say that South Jordan has some of the most beautiful parks in Salt Lake County. I'm not just saying that because I work there. I truly find them to be very well laid out parks with great facilities.
One park of the South Jordan park system is the fish pond. This is located in an area known as Riverfront Park. There is an east and west side to this park. It sits on along the Jordan River on the east side which includes the fish pond, the Jordan River walkway, a couple of large pavilions, many mini pavilions, a large playground, bathrooms and our recent addition of a pain-in-the-ass tree farm.
The west side is a large park with a large pavilion, several mini pavilions, paved walkways and a large playground.
The reason I bring up this park is because it's one of the ones I've been working in this past week. I can't begin to tell you how bad the garbage stinks around the fish pond area because of the people who gut their fish and toss the remains in the garbage.
Upon emptying these trash cans, I came close to throwing up more than once. This is a really hard part of the job because the smell is SO overwhelming. My eyes started to well up because I was trying to keep from yaking all over.
You can read about this park on the included link and learn more about one of the fine parks we have in South Jordan. If you like to fish, this is a place to come and have some fun or learn. Just wait to gut your fish until you get home. Otherwise you'll be using my vomit as fish bait. Which might work nicely with the carp, actually. Check it out here: Riverfront Park in South Jordan
I spent a lot of time either finishing up aerating in this area, fertilizing this area or helping plant trees in the tree farm that is also in this area.
The tree farm has turned out to be quite a controversy, actually. It seems that the residents that live around the area are angry with the location of the tree farm and the black chain link fence going around the section of land we're using for the tree farm.
The land itself was a goddamn eyesore. Full of weeds and garbage and piles of shitty dirt. Now it's been leveled out and has a 250 young trees all in straight lines with it's own irrigation system.
This tree farm looks so much better than the crappy empty lot that it was. And we've worked VERY HARD putting all these pots and trees into the ground. Not to mention the work that the Streets Department went to by coming out with a road grader and leveling the land and helping us clean it up to turn into a tree farm.
It's been quite a project, to say the least.
But the citizens are pissed mostly by the fence. According to some municipal housing code for the area we are in, the fence is supposed to be a wrought iron fence or something similar.
Something more stylish and expensive than a chain link fence. But this is a nice, black vinyl (or maybe it's rubber) covered chain link fence. Not some grayish silver looking chain link fence like you'd find in Anytown, U.S.A.
Some citizens are upset that it's a tree farm and not something else. The kids in the area are pissed it's not a skate park.
I'm pissed because these upper class South Jordan citizens can't appreciate a tree farm. They've actually held meeting about this tree farm it's caused such a fuss. I'm not talking about meetings with the Parks Department and city officials. I'm talking about South Jordan citizens meeting with each other to cause some kind of crusade against a goddamn tree farm.
Some citizens have had meeting with our city officials to complain which has led to us bring in dirt to make large mounds along the west side of the fence. On top of the mounds and all around the piles of dirt will be more trees, bushes and shrubs to conceal the fence.
In total, I would say that there are at least a minimum of six people working on this tree farm project everyday. There is also a contracted landscape company that has come out to help up with creating the project on the west side of the fence.
We're also hearing that we might have to move the tree farm altogether to another location.
*shakes head*
This tree farm is home to about ten different varieties of trees. Sometime next year, we're supposed to be planting another 1000 trees in this spot. Eventually they're also looking to build a greenhouse there.
All I can say is that we're VERY short staffed and South Jordan is blowing up with more and more people everyday.
And then there is the new community know as Daybreak.
Daybreak is A LOT of property that will fall under the control of the city of South Jordan. It's a massive project that include THREE man made lakes. It's an amazing thing to see when you're out there. It is really a project to be in awe of. As a matter a fact, check it out here Daybreak in South Jordan
Also, read about South Jordan as a city here The City of South Jordan
I'm excited to be a part of the most progressive city in Salt Lake County. Probably even Utah. The development here is astounding. This city is always thinking big and ahead to the future. It's truly amazing what they have planned. I'm sometimes concerned that they've bitten off more than they can chew.
Once the Daybreak project comes more under our control, we'll need double (if not triple) the staff we have in Park Maintenance. Presently we have about 12 full time employees working in Parks. And that isn't enough for what we have to do now.
Yesterday, I spent my day using a backpack blower to blow off all the sidewalks and trails around City Park, the South Jordan Community Recreation Center, the South Jordan Senior Center, South Jordan Fire Station #1 and Riverfront Park on the east and west side.
Let me tell you, those backpack blowers vibrate the shit out of you. At the end of the day, you have a massive headache, backache and a funny feeling like you're still carrying the damn thing. Not too mention the right hand cramps from holding the blower wand in which to blow off the sidewalks and trails.
Not only did I have to blow off the sidewalks and trails, I also had to blow out all the large and mini pavilions. It took me four hours to do City Park alone. That also includes the Rec. Center, the Senior Center and the Fire Station.
The other half of the day I spent working with Ronda blowing out Riverfront Park. We then went to help another co-worker, Mike, at the City Cemetery where we had to assist in blowing the fertilizer off of every single headstone. There are about 500, I think. As well as the streets and sidewalks in and around the cemetery.
Aside from the condom retrieval and the tree farm controversy, I don't have many other exciting stories to share. Outside of the standard stories of how I work off a different part of my ass everyday.
I'm hoping to have lost so much weight by the end of this summer season, I'll look like a totally different man. I'm already sporting a tan, ladies.
It's really hard work but I enjoy myself. And some of the scenery I get to look at everyday is something to be admired. I really need to be taking my camera with me to work.
Of course, the next time I find a used condom, I'll snap a picture of it for you all with my camera phone.
Did I mention I work with three lesbians? I do. And, no, Ronda in not one of them. But a couple of the lesbians like to think we're already an item.
I would like to say that South Jordan has some of the HOTTEST women in Utah. Not just HOT women but HOT MILF's! Plenty of "Moms I'd Like To Fuck" walking around that town. I hope one of them meets me while I'm working up a sweat and invites me in for lemonade and some hardcore sexual drilling.
Then she could be my sugar momma.
Or I could stick with fantasizing about Amanda while looking at used condoms. Or I could fantasize about Amanda while getting it on with a MILF.
Or I could just pull my head out of my ass and realize that I need to get out and do some socializing. Sheesh. There are plenty of fish in the sea. And plenty of women taking strolls around the fish pond in the Riverfront Park.
Maybe I'll find my true love in a park.
I just hope she's not getting nailed by some guy who will leave his condom in the park for me to pick up.
Asshole.
-Mike The Janitor
©2007
Millenoma Publishing
"Yeah. Right over under that tree. Actually, there are two under there and another one over by those metal posts".
"SOILED condoms"?
"Yep".
"As in USED condoms? Under the tree"?
"YES! See, I told you life in the Parks Department was exciting. I warned you that we find condoms".
This was part of a conversation between my co-worker Ronda and myself. We had been assigned the task of cleaning up garbage around the main park of South Jordan. Also known as "City Park".
Sure enough, much to my surprise, there were THREE used condoms scattered about in an area of City Park next to the tennis courts.
Someone was having a good time and it wasn't me. That made me really pissed.
Then I thought about my ex-girlfriend Amanda and how I wished she would call me and say hello and hang out. I had many good times with that girl and feel sorta bad that she isn't in my life anymore. Not just because of the sex but because I liked her.
Used condoms can spawn some really deep seeded emotions and feelings with me, apparently.
As I was thinking about that looking down at these used condoms under a tree, I realized that either Ronda or myself were going to have to clean them up.
Oh HELL no.
"I'm not doing it" proclaims Ronda.
"We can't just leave three used condoms laying about here in the park, Ronda" says me.
"I know. That's why you can do it" says Ronda with a grin.
Fuck. Here comes the Fuckin' New Guy to save the day! Super FNG!
So, with a stick, I proceed to retrieve the three used condoms. I gag a couple of times while thinking: "Well, isn't this the life. Picking up used condoms out of a park"!
What the fuck is wrong with people? Listen here, cyber buddies, start respecting your parks, would ya?
For Christ's sake, who do you think has to pick up after you when you decide to be some slob? I don't get paid enough to pick up condoms, new or used, out of our lovely parks.
Get a room already. Would you leave used condoms lying about in your seedy motel room?
We find all kinds of shit in the parks. I've gained a new respect for parks all over our great nation and for the people who maintain them. I'm one of those people now.
Welcome to week three of the rest of my life. Condom retrieval.
I have to say that South Jordan has some of the most beautiful parks in Salt Lake County. I'm not just saying that because I work there. I truly find them to be very well laid out parks with great facilities.
One park of the South Jordan park system is the fish pond. This is located in an area known as Riverfront Park. There is an east and west side to this park. It sits on along the Jordan River on the east side which includes the fish pond, the Jordan River walkway, a couple of large pavilions, many mini pavilions, a large playground, bathrooms and our recent addition of a pain-in-the-ass tree farm.
The west side is a large park with a large pavilion, several mini pavilions, paved walkways and a large playground.
The reason I bring up this park is because it's one of the ones I've been working in this past week. I can't begin to tell you how bad the garbage stinks around the fish pond area because of the people who gut their fish and toss the remains in the garbage.
Upon emptying these trash cans, I came close to throwing up more than once. This is a really hard part of the job because the smell is SO overwhelming. My eyes started to well up because I was trying to keep from yaking all over.
You can read about this park on the included link and learn more about one of the fine parks we have in South Jordan. If you like to fish, this is a place to come and have some fun or learn. Just wait to gut your fish until you get home. Otherwise you'll be using my vomit as fish bait. Which might work nicely with the carp, actually. Check it out here: Riverfront Park in South Jordan
I spent a lot of time either finishing up aerating in this area, fertilizing this area or helping plant trees in the tree farm that is also in this area.
The tree farm has turned out to be quite a controversy, actually. It seems that the residents that live around the area are angry with the location of the tree farm and the black chain link fence going around the section of land we're using for the tree farm.
The land itself was a goddamn eyesore. Full of weeds and garbage and piles of shitty dirt. Now it's been leveled out and has a 250 young trees all in straight lines with it's own irrigation system.
This tree farm looks so much better than the crappy empty lot that it was. And we've worked VERY HARD putting all these pots and trees into the ground. Not to mention the work that the Streets Department went to by coming out with a road grader and leveling the land and helping us clean it up to turn into a tree farm.
It's been quite a project, to say the least.
But the citizens are pissed mostly by the fence. According to some municipal housing code for the area we are in, the fence is supposed to be a wrought iron fence or something similar.
Something more stylish and expensive than a chain link fence. But this is a nice, black vinyl (or maybe it's rubber) covered chain link fence. Not some grayish silver looking chain link fence like you'd find in Anytown, U.S.A.
Some citizens are upset that it's a tree farm and not something else. The kids in the area are pissed it's not a skate park.
I'm pissed because these upper class South Jordan citizens can't appreciate a tree farm. They've actually held meeting about this tree farm it's caused such a fuss. I'm not talking about meetings with the Parks Department and city officials. I'm talking about South Jordan citizens meeting with each other to cause some kind of crusade against a goddamn tree farm.
Some citizens have had meeting with our city officials to complain which has led to us bring in dirt to make large mounds along the west side of the fence. On top of the mounds and all around the piles of dirt will be more trees, bushes and shrubs to conceal the fence.
In total, I would say that there are at least a minimum of six people working on this tree farm project everyday. There is also a contracted landscape company that has come out to help up with creating the project on the west side of the fence.
We're also hearing that we might have to move the tree farm altogether to another location.
*shakes head*
This tree farm is home to about ten different varieties of trees. Sometime next year, we're supposed to be planting another 1000 trees in this spot. Eventually they're also looking to build a greenhouse there.
All I can say is that we're VERY short staffed and South Jordan is blowing up with more and more people everyday.
And then there is the new community know as Daybreak.
Daybreak is A LOT of property that will fall under the control of the city of South Jordan. It's a massive project that include THREE man made lakes. It's an amazing thing to see when you're out there. It is really a project to be in awe of. As a matter a fact, check it out here Daybreak in South Jordan
Also, read about South Jordan as a city here The City of South Jordan
I'm excited to be a part of the most progressive city in Salt Lake County. Probably even Utah. The development here is astounding. This city is always thinking big and ahead to the future. It's truly amazing what they have planned. I'm sometimes concerned that they've bitten off more than they can chew.
Once the Daybreak project comes more under our control, we'll need double (if not triple) the staff we have in Park Maintenance. Presently we have about 12 full time employees working in Parks. And that isn't enough for what we have to do now.
Yesterday, I spent my day using a backpack blower to blow off all the sidewalks and trails around City Park, the South Jordan Community Recreation Center, the South Jordan Senior Center, South Jordan Fire Station #1 and Riverfront Park on the east and west side.
Let me tell you, those backpack blowers vibrate the shit out of you. At the end of the day, you have a massive headache, backache and a funny feeling like you're still carrying the damn thing. Not too mention the right hand cramps from holding the blower wand in which to blow off the sidewalks and trails.
Not only did I have to blow off the sidewalks and trails, I also had to blow out all the large and mini pavilions. It took me four hours to do City Park alone. That also includes the Rec. Center, the Senior Center and the Fire Station.
The other half of the day I spent working with Ronda blowing out Riverfront Park. We then went to help another co-worker, Mike, at the City Cemetery where we had to assist in blowing the fertilizer off of every single headstone. There are about 500, I think. As well as the streets and sidewalks in and around the cemetery.
Aside from the condom retrieval and the tree farm controversy, I don't have many other exciting stories to share. Outside of the standard stories of how I work off a different part of my ass everyday.
I'm hoping to have lost so much weight by the end of this summer season, I'll look like a totally different man. I'm already sporting a tan, ladies.
It's really hard work but I enjoy myself. And some of the scenery I get to look at everyday is something to be admired. I really need to be taking my camera with me to work.
Of course, the next time I find a used condom, I'll snap a picture of it for you all with my camera phone.
Did I mention I work with three lesbians? I do. And, no, Ronda in not one of them. But a couple of the lesbians like to think we're already an item.
I would like to say that South Jordan has some of the HOTTEST women in Utah. Not just HOT women but HOT MILF's! Plenty of "Moms I'd Like To Fuck" walking around that town. I hope one of them meets me while I'm working up a sweat and invites me in for lemonade and some hardcore sexual drilling.
Then she could be my sugar momma.
Or I could stick with fantasizing about Amanda while looking at used condoms. Or I could fantasize about Amanda while getting it on with a MILF.
Or I could just pull my head out of my ass and realize that I need to get out and do some socializing. Sheesh. There are plenty of fish in the sea. And plenty of women taking strolls around the fish pond in the Riverfront Park.
Maybe I'll find my true love in a park.
I just hope she's not getting nailed by some guy who will leave his condom in the park for me to pick up.
Asshole.
-Mike The Janitor
©2007
Millenoma Publishing
3.18.2007
Do we really need another Pussycat Doll?
I have to bitch about this. I really do.
In my time of living, I've witnessed so really BAD television programming. Sometimes I wonder how this shit gets green lighted to be put on the air.
One program in particular is this massive pile of God awful shit on The CW network involving the search for a new Pussycat Doll.
Much like American Idol or Rock Star: INXS or Rock Star: Supernova, the point of this "reality show" is to find the right female to join the female group "The Pussycat Dolls".
First off, WHO FUCKING CARES ABOUT THE GODDAMN PUSSYCAT DOLLS? These bitches are nothing more than over produced tits & ass that are a flash in the pan. Do any of you truly believe this female group is going to be around in the next five years?
And to call them a "group" is an insult to honest, hardworking musicians that are in a band/group. Whether a male group or female group or a variety of the two sexes, The Pussycat Dolls comes nowhere near real artistic integrity and song writing.
These females are the Paris Hilton of pop music. The fact that someone thought it would be a great idea to find yet another girl willing to be trampy enough to join their "band" is just retarded.
Ironically, The CW is getting some pretty good ratings from the Pussycat Doll show. I watched it earlier and was embarrassed by what I was watching.
I find it horrifying that many of these girls trying to be the NINTH piece of eye candy in an otherwise soon to be washed up fad of a female "band", is pathetic.
Many of these girls in this ridiculous competition claim that this is a dream come true. They've waited all their lives for this moment and blah, blah, blah.
Are you serious? How sad is this? This is the bottom of the barrel for television viewing, my cyber buddies. Sure, some of the women in the competition are hot and sultry. Yeah, I could get a stiffy watching some of these girls making tramps of themselves. You bet I might stroke my man sausage imagining boinking a Pussycat Doll or two.
But that's just it. The talent of this band is to sell sex, not music. Even the lyrical content of the songs the Pussycat Dolls are known for are about sex. Some women might say that the Pussycat Dolls are empowering for women and their gender. HOW?!
Would you want YOUR daughter dressing up and dancing around like these females? How is it empowering to be classified as no talent hack hookers?
Now, I can't be biased here. I do enjoy the song "Don't Cha" by The Pussycat Dolls. It was a huge radio and club hit, no doubt about it. But is this the kind of image and behavior we want to instill in our young as people to look up to for empowerment?
It reminds me of the South Park episode where the totally lay into Paris Hilton. That episode is classic but has a great message. That message can be applied to The Pussycat Dolls.
I don't agree with this show and I don't agree with The Pussycat Dolls being taken seriously as musical talent or artists. Besides, this sexy female group bullshit has been pulled before with the likes of the Spice Girls. Although a couple of them were nowhere near as hot as the women in The Pussycat Dolls.
The Pussycat Dolls show itself just shows how low we've sunk as a society to be entertained by such mindless, useless and vile programming.
We've now reached a point where we root on young women whose dreams are to be nothing more than tits and ass for the rest of their lives. And as they live that dream, they hope to inspire a new breed of young women to follow in their footsteps. Or dance steps, rather.
You might be interested to read the information I found on Wikipedia.com regarding the Pussycat Dolls. Especially the section regarding a line of Pussycat Doll toys from Hasbro that was dropped due to outrage from parents.
All in all, I just wanted to vent about this. Granted, I'm a single guy that doesn't mind eye candy and enjoys a girl to be dirty in private time with me behind closed doors.
But that's where this type of behavior should stay... behind closed doors and in private. We don't need young women being made to believe that practically being a stripper is empowering or a way of life.
Whatever happened to the days of young women wanting to be doctors, lawyers, biologists, the President, etc.? That's what we really need. A reality show where we see young people grow and learn and making something of themselves while inspiring others. Not a bunch of singing bimbos dancing around on stage.
Am I making any sense with my rant? Do you feel me, cyber buddies?
*sigh*
-Mike The Janitor
©2007
Millenoma Publishing
In my time of living, I've witnessed so really BAD television programming. Sometimes I wonder how this shit gets green lighted to be put on the air.
One program in particular is this massive pile of God awful shit on The CW network involving the search for a new Pussycat Doll.
Much like American Idol or Rock Star: INXS or Rock Star: Supernova, the point of this "reality show" is to find the right female to join the female group "The Pussycat Dolls".
First off, WHO FUCKING CARES ABOUT THE GODDAMN PUSSYCAT DOLLS? These bitches are nothing more than over produced tits & ass that are a flash in the pan. Do any of you truly believe this female group is going to be around in the next five years?
And to call them a "group" is an insult to honest, hardworking musicians that are in a band/group. Whether a male group or female group or a variety of the two sexes, The Pussycat Dolls comes nowhere near real artistic integrity and song writing.
These females are the Paris Hilton of pop music. The fact that someone thought it would be a great idea to find yet another girl willing to be trampy enough to join their "band" is just retarded.
Ironically, The CW is getting some pretty good ratings from the Pussycat Doll show. I watched it earlier and was embarrassed by what I was watching.
I find it horrifying that many of these girls trying to be the NINTH piece of eye candy in an otherwise soon to be washed up fad of a female "band", is pathetic.
Many of these girls in this ridiculous competition claim that this is a dream come true. They've waited all their lives for this moment and blah, blah, blah.
Are you serious? How sad is this? This is the bottom of the barrel for television viewing, my cyber buddies. Sure, some of the women in the competition are hot and sultry. Yeah, I could get a stiffy watching some of these girls making tramps of themselves. You bet I might stroke my man sausage imagining boinking a Pussycat Doll or two.
But that's just it. The talent of this band is to sell sex, not music. Even the lyrical content of the songs the Pussycat Dolls are known for are about sex. Some women might say that the Pussycat Dolls are empowering for women and their gender. HOW?!
Would you want YOUR daughter dressing up and dancing around like these females? How is it empowering to be classified as no talent hack hookers?
Now, I can't be biased here. I do enjoy the song "Don't Cha" by The Pussycat Dolls. It was a huge radio and club hit, no doubt about it. But is this the kind of image and behavior we want to instill in our young as people to look up to for empowerment?
It reminds me of the South Park episode where the totally lay into Paris Hilton. That episode is classic but has a great message. That message can be applied to The Pussycat Dolls.
I don't agree with this show and I don't agree with The Pussycat Dolls being taken seriously as musical talent or artists. Besides, this sexy female group bullshit has been pulled before with the likes of the Spice Girls. Although a couple of them were nowhere near as hot as the women in The Pussycat Dolls.
The Pussycat Dolls show itself just shows how low we've sunk as a society to be entertained by such mindless, useless and vile programming.
We've now reached a point where we root on young women whose dreams are to be nothing more than tits and ass for the rest of their lives. And as they live that dream, they hope to inspire a new breed of young women to follow in their footsteps. Or dance steps, rather.
You might be interested to read the information I found on Wikipedia.com regarding the Pussycat Dolls. Especially the section regarding a line of Pussycat Doll toys from Hasbro that was dropped due to outrage from parents.
All in all, I just wanted to vent about this. Granted, I'm a single guy that doesn't mind eye candy and enjoys a girl to be dirty in private time with me behind closed doors.
But that's where this type of behavior should stay... behind closed doors and in private. We don't need young women being made to believe that practically being a stripper is empowering or a way of life.
Whatever happened to the days of young women wanting to be doctors, lawyers, biologists, the President, etc.? That's what we really need. A reality show where we see young people grow and learn and making something of themselves while inspiring others. Not a bunch of singing bimbos dancing around on stage.
Am I making any sense with my rant? Do you feel me, cyber buddies?
*sigh*
-Mike The Janitor
©2007
Millenoma Publishing
Mike's Top 20
My thanks to my buddy Johnny Fuckin' Utah over at my former place of employment, Salt Lake Rail Services, for complimenting me on including artist Frank Black in my list from last week. You can't go wrong with some Frank Black.
Here are my picks for this week. Enjoy my weird selections in music.
Mike's Top 20:
20: Megadeth "High Speed Dirt"
19: Bo Diddley "I Can't Stand It"
18: Traffic "Dear Mr. Fantasy"
17: The Golden Palominos "When The Kingdom Calls"
16: The The "August & September"
15: Neurotica "All My Friends Crush You"
14: Chris Kowanko "Nobody's Fool"
13: Pearl Jam "Better Man"
12: Incubus "Pieces"
11: Guns 'N' Roses "Paradise City"
10: Inner Circle "Da Bomb"
09: Revolution Smile "Bone Thrower"
08: Swing Out Sister "Am I The Same Girl"
07: Nina Simone "Rags And Old Iron"
06: Bob Seger "We've Got Tonight"
05: Perez Prado "Mambo 8"
04: XTC "Playground"
03: N.W.A. "Real Niggaz"
02: Kylie Minogue "Slow (Chemical Brothers Remix)"
01: L7 "This Ain't The Summer Of Love"
-Mike The Janitor
©2007
Millenoma Publishing
Here are my picks for this week. Enjoy my weird selections in music.
Mike's Top 20:
20: Megadeth "High Speed Dirt"
19: Bo Diddley "I Can't Stand It"
18: Traffic "Dear Mr. Fantasy"
17: The Golden Palominos "When The Kingdom Calls"
16: The The "August & September"
15: Neurotica "All My Friends Crush You"
14: Chris Kowanko "Nobody's Fool"
13: Pearl Jam "Better Man"
12: Incubus "Pieces"
11: Guns 'N' Roses "Paradise City"
10: Inner Circle "Da Bomb"
09: Revolution Smile "Bone Thrower"
08: Swing Out Sister "Am I The Same Girl"
07: Nina Simone "Rags And Old Iron"
06: Bob Seger "We've Got Tonight"
05: Perez Prado "Mambo 8"
04: XTC "Playground"
03: N.W.A. "Real Niggaz"
02: Kylie Minogue "Slow (Chemical Brothers Remix)"
01: L7 "This Ain't The Summer Of Love"
-Mike The Janitor
©2007
Millenoma Publishing
The second week of the rest of my life... continued
OK, so where was I?
OH YEAH! We talked about Monday. Let's head on over to Tuesday and go from there with the "Adventures of Mike The Jordan: Parks Maintenance Worker" *insert cheesy theme music here*
When last we left our hero, he had fallen down, been attacked by a dog and cleaned up a smelly mess left by a bum that almost caused his co-worker to vomit.
Here we are on Tuesday. The is still a lot of aerating to be done with the tractor. The very first thing that Paul and I do is decide to split up to get more done. I elect to take the tractor to an area we thought we could finish on Monday and never got to.
Paul agrees and says he'll go out and cover some areas in other parks that require the walk behind aerator.
After arriving on the scene to aerate a particular piece of land a few hundred yards from the miniature golf course, Mulligans, here comes Paul pulling up behind me.
Paul had forgotten to mention that we needed to mark sprinkler heads and valve covers with little flags so we could see where they are in the tractor. He also decides that he is going to show me how to aerate this piece of land since it can be difficult.
He hands me the flags, hops on the tractor and takes off. I stand there for a couple of minutes realizing that he has no intention of marking the damn sprinkler heads or valve covers.
As a matter a fact, it looks like he is doing everything he can to stay away from having to use the walk behind aerator. He then proceeds to aerate the entire piece of land I had originally come to do.
Angry, I put the flags away into the work truck and grab a garbage bag to collect trash that has collected in the area.
Once he gets done with the tractor, he comes to help me collect trash. As we move along and pick up garbage, he finds a $20.00 bill in the brush we are working along.
ARE YOU SHITTING ME?!
Of all the dumb luck. Here I am trying to make a difference and work hard and this guy comes along and fucks everything up because he feels like being lazy and finds $20.00 bucks.
I look at him and say: "You're buying lunch whether you want to or not".
He agrees.
When we finish that area, we move onto another park called "Shields Park" off of 800 West and 9800 South. It's a nice little park that has one of the entrances to the Jordan River Walkway.
After I drive the tractor to the park, Paul takes over operating the thing and aerating. I'm starting to get fed up with this guy. I, once again, start collecting trash in the area.
As I'm picking up trash, I happen to notice a small amount of graffiti on the 9800 South bridge that crosses over the Jordan River and the walkway. I call it in to my supervisor.
Several minutes after I call it in, a truck comes into the parking lot of the park. Out of the truck come four Hispanics. Two males and two females. One of the males and the two females look young. Probably about high school age. The driver, however, looks a little older. Maybe in his 20's.
I noticed right away they weren't up to no good just by the way they were acting, the way they were dressed and the truck they pulled up in.
I watched as they walked from their truck to the tunnel entrance where the Jordan River Walkway begins in this park. Not long after, I saw all four of them get under the bridge from the North side and start spraying graffiti under the overpass.
I was standing on the South side of the overpass wondering how to deal with this situation. At first, I wanted to walk right under there and beat the living shit out of every single one of these shitbags until they were dead and toss their worthless bodies into the Jordan River.
Then I realized that I would more than likely be shot or shanked or harmed in some way if I approached them. Besides, it's the police of the city to not engage anyone should you witness someone committing a crime.
So I got wise and called my buddy Dennis over at the South Jordan Police Department. Only problem was, he wasn't answering his phone. I then called Paul over to witness what was happening.
I then called South Jordan City Hall and they transfered me to dispatch to get a police unit out there. While I was one the phone with dispatch, the youths came walking back to their truck which gave me the opportunity to describe all of them to dispatch.
I also described their truck and gave the license plate number. Unfortunately they left before the police arrived on the scene.
Paul and I gave statements including the description of the vehicle. If any of you that read my blogs live in or around the South Jordan area, be on the lookout for a gray Dodge Dakota extended cab pickup truck. On the driver's side extended cab window is a large white sticker of a scorpion. There is also white lettering on the back of the truck I couldn't make out. The license plate number is 486 DEK, if I remember correctly.
Funny enough, the younger of the two males was wearing a long, blue shirt that had the words "South Side" printed at the very bottom of the shirt on the back. When Paul and I went to look at the damage done to the overpass by their graffiti, sure enough, we saw many areas (and could still smell the odor of the paint) where they had tagged those very words "South Side".
The more I thought about it, the more pissed at myself I am for not doing something more. Why didn't I have Paul park our truck or the tractor behind their truck? Why in the fuck didn't I take pictures of them and their truck with my CAMERA PHONE?! SHIT!
I want these fuckers to pay in blood. I HATE these fucking panty waste gangs. Not only did they tag underneath the overpass but they also hit the North side of the bridge with graffiti. Do you have any idea how much work it takes to get that shit to come off?
My opinion is that we catch them, they pay thousands of dollars in fines, they are made to clean up the mess, they get to be spray painted with paint that doesn't wash off for weeks by the citizens of South Jordan and their families get deported back to Mexico where they are executed by having aerosol cans shoved up their asses and imploded with explosives that have been wired on the can before insertion.
Too much? I don't think so.
That was the only real highlight of Tuesday. Well, that and the fact that Paul did take me to lunch with the $20.00 bucks he had found earlier that morning. Of course, he did stick me with the hand aerator for the rest of the day where I wound up aerating a place known as the Gale Center.
The Gale Center is like a museum of South Jordan. South Jordan used to be called Gale, Utah because of the constant gusts of wind that occur in the area. Reno, Nevada is a lot like that, too. Windy. But a great area to fly kits, no doubt about it.
Anyway, I finished out my Tuesday by aerating all the property of the Gale Center as well as doing some raking of leaves and seed pods and cleaning up the curb and gutters with a shovel.
Go me.
On Wednesday, I went to work with Ronda as we went out to help Paul finish up aerating. We went to the parks Paul hadn't aerated yet to prep them. By this, I mean that we used the walk behind aerator to get into the areas where Paul wouldn't be able to get with the tractor.
We also aerated the property all around South Jordan Fire Station #2. At lunchtime, we headed back to the shop. We still had more work to do after but were almost complete in helping Paul.
When we returned to the shop, I noticed that the tractor Paul was using was in the parking lot. I found it odd that he just didn't leave it at whatever location he had been working in and gotten a ride back to the shop.
After lunch, we went back to aerating. We spent the rest of the day finishing up that project. When it was quitting time and we got back to the shop, the tractor was still sitting where it was since lunch.
It turns out that Paul had left early to go to a doctor's appointment. Someone had failed to mention that to Ronda and me. This would have been useful information because one of us could have been using the tractor to aerate and the other could have been using the walk behind in the smaller areas.
This really pissed me off that we lost productivity time. We could have gotten a bit more done had we known Paul was leaving early for the doctor. But, alas, what do I know? I'm just the FNG.
After work on Wednesday, I went home and showered and changed. I then went back to South Jordan to meet up with a few other co-workers who had volunteered, as I had, to be bad guys for some police officer training.
My assigned scenario was to be a subject that was acting crazy and talking to himself. I had two reactions I could do for responding officers. The first one was to just be nutty and comply with officers. The second was to attack the officers if they got too close.
My reaction was always the first one. A couple of times I'd get a little more crazy than normal and they'd have to be forceful. Personally, I wish I would have done a better job and been more ballsy and attacked every single time.
I was afraid of getting shot. The officers are equipped with fake tazers but with real Glocks that shoot 9-mm rounds with paintball tips. I wear a vest and a safety helmut during the role playing in case things get ugly.
We have to do it again in two weeks and I'm going to be more crazy and attack. The other guys I work with were all equipped with guns because their scenarios called for them to be some really bad criminals. Of course, they were all shot repeatedly.
Anyway, back to work.
On Thursday morning, Ronda and myself were assigned the task of going back to the areas we were at the day before to aerate the properties that Paul didn't get to because he had left early. We also found out that Paul had called in sick and we'd be backtracking all day.
I like working with Ronda. She's very nice and funny. Plus we're always quoting "South Park" episodes while we work. Some people we work with already think we're getting it on. I assure you, cyber friends, that IS NOT happening.
Anyway, by the third park we got to for aeration, we ran into trouble. At a park known as "Triangle Park", Ronda broke the tractor. I'm not saying that to be funny, either. I mean she really broke the tractor.
As she pulled off the road to go up on the grass into the park, the aerator on the tractor got hung up on the curb and snapped completely away from the tractor dropping it to the sidewalk.
Uh-oh.
Upon looking at the metal harness that holds the aerator to the tractor, it looked like where the aerator bolts to the metal harness had been rusting away for a while. Ronda didn't hit the curb at 40 miles an hour or anything like that. She stopped, went at an angle up onto the sidewalk and proceeded to drive slowly up into the park.
It wasn't until she was bringing up the last wheel on the aerator that it snagged on the curb in such a way that it pulled the tractor back and snapped the aerator off. I know this because I was driving behind her in our work truck.
It was the damnedest thing.
So we had to report it to our supervisor who sent out two of our leads to asses the situation. They both agreed that it looked more like equipment failure than operator error.
Ronda was relieved because she thought she'd have to go before a review board and take a pee test and everything that involves an equipment accident. From my perspective, it was just and odd incident that could have happened to me just as easily.
Luckily, our two leads, Kim and John, were able to take the metal harness off and take it back to the shop and weld it. They did it in less than an hour and had us back up and running by lunch.
We spent the rest of the day trying to finish up the aerating with the tractor. But the accident set us back a bit.
On Friday morning, Ronda and I thought we were going out to finish aerating. As it turns out, the higher ups had different plans for her, I and Paul.
We were sent out with two other people I work with, Angela and Sunita. We had been assigned the task of prepping 250 holes in a sectioned off area for a tree farm.
Most of the holes had been drilled already by an auger. There were still a couple of rows of holes that needed to be drilled. Sunita used a Bobcat tractor with an auger attachment to finish up the holes while Angela, Ronda, Paul and myself dug out the dirt within the holes so that we could place plastic pots in the holes.
This sucked ass. We spent all day digging with shovels and placing these pots in the ground. We had to make sure they were level, straight and even with one another. One particular area was a TOTAL BITCH because it was nothing but sand and rock. This made it very difficult to line the pots correctly and keep them even and level because the Earth was so terribly shitty.
This is what we all spent Friday doing. Digging holes and placing plastic pots. My question is, when the hell are we going to finish up the aeration? We need to do that because we're supposed to be fertilizing next week.
If also found out that on Monday, the 250 BARE ROOT trees will be coming for us to place in these pots we put in the ground. No, wait... actually, we're putting the trees in different pots that will be placed in these other pots we put in the ground.
The reason I put BARE ROOT in all caps is because that means will have to take these trees, one by one, hold them steady in an empty pot while filling the pot with fresh soil. Then we'll place that freshly potted tree into a pot in the ground.
You following me?
So, there you have it. A look back on my second week. And look at what I have to deal with on Monday.
By the way, if any of you here in the Salt Lake area would be interested in taking a seasonal job working in Parks Maintenance for the City of South Jordan, let me know. They're looking to take on eight more people for the summer season and we could use some decent, hard working help.
And, in most cases, the seasonal people are brought on full time since South Jordan hires within. I got lucky because they had already hired all their seasonal help on a full time basis. I was the first hire they've ever employed by placing an ad with outside agencies like the newspaper or the Department of Workforce Services.
Go me.
Well, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go clean my bathroom to the sounds of La Bouche with "Be My Lover".
-Mike The Janitor
©2007
Millenoma Publishing
OH YEAH! We talked about Monday. Let's head on over to Tuesday and go from there with the "Adventures of Mike The Jordan: Parks Maintenance Worker" *insert cheesy theme music here*
When last we left our hero, he had fallen down, been attacked by a dog and cleaned up a smelly mess left by a bum that almost caused his co-worker to vomit.
Here we are on Tuesday. The is still a lot of aerating to be done with the tractor. The very first thing that Paul and I do is decide to split up to get more done. I elect to take the tractor to an area we thought we could finish on Monday and never got to.
Paul agrees and says he'll go out and cover some areas in other parks that require the walk behind aerator.
After arriving on the scene to aerate a particular piece of land a few hundred yards from the miniature golf course, Mulligans, here comes Paul pulling up behind me.
Paul had forgotten to mention that we needed to mark sprinkler heads and valve covers with little flags so we could see where they are in the tractor. He also decides that he is going to show me how to aerate this piece of land since it can be difficult.
He hands me the flags, hops on the tractor and takes off. I stand there for a couple of minutes realizing that he has no intention of marking the damn sprinkler heads or valve covers.
As a matter a fact, it looks like he is doing everything he can to stay away from having to use the walk behind aerator. He then proceeds to aerate the entire piece of land I had originally come to do.
Angry, I put the flags away into the work truck and grab a garbage bag to collect trash that has collected in the area.
Once he gets done with the tractor, he comes to help me collect trash. As we move along and pick up garbage, he finds a $20.00 bill in the brush we are working along.
ARE YOU SHITTING ME?!
Of all the dumb luck. Here I am trying to make a difference and work hard and this guy comes along and fucks everything up because he feels like being lazy and finds $20.00 bucks.
I look at him and say: "You're buying lunch whether you want to or not".
He agrees.
When we finish that area, we move onto another park called "Shields Park" off of 800 West and 9800 South. It's a nice little park that has one of the entrances to the Jordan River Walkway.
After I drive the tractor to the park, Paul takes over operating the thing and aerating. I'm starting to get fed up with this guy. I, once again, start collecting trash in the area.
As I'm picking up trash, I happen to notice a small amount of graffiti on the 9800 South bridge that crosses over the Jordan River and the walkway. I call it in to my supervisor.
Several minutes after I call it in, a truck comes into the parking lot of the park. Out of the truck come four Hispanics. Two males and two females. One of the males and the two females look young. Probably about high school age. The driver, however, looks a little older. Maybe in his 20's.
I noticed right away they weren't up to no good just by the way they were acting, the way they were dressed and the truck they pulled up in.
I watched as they walked from their truck to the tunnel entrance where the Jordan River Walkway begins in this park. Not long after, I saw all four of them get under the bridge from the North side and start spraying graffiti under the overpass.
I was standing on the South side of the overpass wondering how to deal with this situation. At first, I wanted to walk right under there and beat the living shit out of every single one of these shitbags until they were dead and toss their worthless bodies into the Jordan River.
Then I realized that I would more than likely be shot or shanked or harmed in some way if I approached them. Besides, it's the police of the city to not engage anyone should you witness someone committing a crime.
So I got wise and called my buddy Dennis over at the South Jordan Police Department. Only problem was, he wasn't answering his phone. I then called Paul over to witness what was happening.
I then called South Jordan City Hall and they transfered me to dispatch to get a police unit out there. While I was one the phone with dispatch, the youths came walking back to their truck which gave me the opportunity to describe all of them to dispatch.
I also described their truck and gave the license plate number. Unfortunately they left before the police arrived on the scene.
Paul and I gave statements including the description of the vehicle. If any of you that read my blogs live in or around the South Jordan area, be on the lookout for a gray Dodge Dakota extended cab pickup truck. On the driver's side extended cab window is a large white sticker of a scorpion. There is also white lettering on the back of the truck I couldn't make out. The license plate number is 486 DEK, if I remember correctly.
Funny enough, the younger of the two males was wearing a long, blue shirt that had the words "South Side" printed at the very bottom of the shirt on the back. When Paul and I went to look at the damage done to the overpass by their graffiti, sure enough, we saw many areas (and could still smell the odor of the paint) where they had tagged those very words "South Side".
The more I thought about it, the more pissed at myself I am for not doing something more. Why didn't I have Paul park our truck or the tractor behind their truck? Why in the fuck didn't I take pictures of them and their truck with my CAMERA PHONE?! SHIT!
I want these fuckers to pay in blood. I HATE these fucking panty waste gangs. Not only did they tag underneath the overpass but they also hit the North side of the bridge with graffiti. Do you have any idea how much work it takes to get that shit to come off?
My opinion is that we catch them, they pay thousands of dollars in fines, they are made to clean up the mess, they get to be spray painted with paint that doesn't wash off for weeks by the citizens of South Jordan and their families get deported back to Mexico where they are executed by having aerosol cans shoved up their asses and imploded with explosives that have been wired on the can before insertion.
Too much? I don't think so.
That was the only real highlight of Tuesday. Well, that and the fact that Paul did take me to lunch with the $20.00 bucks he had found earlier that morning. Of course, he did stick me with the hand aerator for the rest of the day where I wound up aerating a place known as the Gale Center.
The Gale Center is like a museum of South Jordan. South Jordan used to be called Gale, Utah because of the constant gusts of wind that occur in the area. Reno, Nevada is a lot like that, too. Windy. But a great area to fly kits, no doubt about it.
Anyway, I finished out my Tuesday by aerating all the property of the Gale Center as well as doing some raking of leaves and seed pods and cleaning up the curb and gutters with a shovel.
Go me.
On Wednesday, I went to work with Ronda as we went out to help Paul finish up aerating. We went to the parks Paul hadn't aerated yet to prep them. By this, I mean that we used the walk behind aerator to get into the areas where Paul wouldn't be able to get with the tractor.
We also aerated the property all around South Jordan Fire Station #2. At lunchtime, we headed back to the shop. We still had more work to do after but were almost complete in helping Paul.
When we returned to the shop, I noticed that the tractor Paul was using was in the parking lot. I found it odd that he just didn't leave it at whatever location he had been working in and gotten a ride back to the shop.
After lunch, we went back to aerating. We spent the rest of the day finishing up that project. When it was quitting time and we got back to the shop, the tractor was still sitting where it was since lunch.
It turns out that Paul had left early to go to a doctor's appointment. Someone had failed to mention that to Ronda and me. This would have been useful information because one of us could have been using the tractor to aerate and the other could have been using the walk behind in the smaller areas.
This really pissed me off that we lost productivity time. We could have gotten a bit more done had we known Paul was leaving early for the doctor. But, alas, what do I know? I'm just the FNG.
After work on Wednesday, I went home and showered and changed. I then went back to South Jordan to meet up with a few other co-workers who had volunteered, as I had, to be bad guys for some police officer training.
My assigned scenario was to be a subject that was acting crazy and talking to himself. I had two reactions I could do for responding officers. The first one was to just be nutty and comply with officers. The second was to attack the officers if they got too close.
My reaction was always the first one. A couple of times I'd get a little more crazy than normal and they'd have to be forceful. Personally, I wish I would have done a better job and been more ballsy and attacked every single time.
I was afraid of getting shot. The officers are equipped with fake tazers but with real Glocks that shoot 9-mm rounds with paintball tips. I wear a vest and a safety helmut during the role playing in case things get ugly.
We have to do it again in two weeks and I'm going to be more crazy and attack. The other guys I work with were all equipped with guns because their scenarios called for them to be some really bad criminals. Of course, they were all shot repeatedly.
Anyway, back to work.
On Thursday morning, Ronda and myself were assigned the task of going back to the areas we were at the day before to aerate the properties that Paul didn't get to because he had left early. We also found out that Paul had called in sick and we'd be backtracking all day.
I like working with Ronda. She's very nice and funny. Plus we're always quoting "South Park" episodes while we work. Some people we work with already think we're getting it on. I assure you, cyber friends, that IS NOT happening.
Anyway, by the third park we got to for aeration, we ran into trouble. At a park known as "Triangle Park", Ronda broke the tractor. I'm not saying that to be funny, either. I mean she really broke the tractor.
As she pulled off the road to go up on the grass into the park, the aerator on the tractor got hung up on the curb and snapped completely away from the tractor dropping it to the sidewalk.
Uh-oh.
Upon looking at the metal harness that holds the aerator to the tractor, it looked like where the aerator bolts to the metal harness had been rusting away for a while. Ronda didn't hit the curb at 40 miles an hour or anything like that. She stopped, went at an angle up onto the sidewalk and proceeded to drive slowly up into the park.
It wasn't until she was bringing up the last wheel on the aerator that it snagged on the curb in such a way that it pulled the tractor back and snapped the aerator off. I know this because I was driving behind her in our work truck.
It was the damnedest thing.
So we had to report it to our supervisor who sent out two of our leads to asses the situation. They both agreed that it looked more like equipment failure than operator error.
Ronda was relieved because she thought she'd have to go before a review board and take a pee test and everything that involves an equipment accident. From my perspective, it was just and odd incident that could have happened to me just as easily.
Luckily, our two leads, Kim and John, were able to take the metal harness off and take it back to the shop and weld it. They did it in less than an hour and had us back up and running by lunch.
We spent the rest of the day trying to finish up the aerating with the tractor. But the accident set us back a bit.
On Friday morning, Ronda and I thought we were going out to finish aerating. As it turns out, the higher ups had different plans for her, I and Paul.
We were sent out with two other people I work with, Angela and Sunita. We had been assigned the task of prepping 250 holes in a sectioned off area for a tree farm.
Most of the holes had been drilled already by an auger. There were still a couple of rows of holes that needed to be drilled. Sunita used a Bobcat tractor with an auger attachment to finish up the holes while Angela, Ronda, Paul and myself dug out the dirt within the holes so that we could place plastic pots in the holes.
This sucked ass. We spent all day digging with shovels and placing these pots in the ground. We had to make sure they were level, straight and even with one another. One particular area was a TOTAL BITCH because it was nothing but sand and rock. This made it very difficult to line the pots correctly and keep them even and level because the Earth was so terribly shitty.
This is what we all spent Friday doing. Digging holes and placing plastic pots. My question is, when the hell are we going to finish up the aeration? We need to do that because we're supposed to be fertilizing next week.
If also found out that on Monday, the 250 BARE ROOT trees will be coming for us to place in these pots we put in the ground. No, wait... actually, we're putting the trees in different pots that will be placed in these other pots we put in the ground.
The reason I put BARE ROOT in all caps is because that means will have to take these trees, one by one, hold them steady in an empty pot while filling the pot with fresh soil. Then we'll place that freshly potted tree into a pot in the ground.
You following me?
So, there you have it. A look back on my second week. And look at what I have to deal with on Monday.
By the way, if any of you here in the Salt Lake area would be interested in taking a seasonal job working in Parks Maintenance for the City of South Jordan, let me know. They're looking to take on eight more people for the summer season and we could use some decent, hard working help.
And, in most cases, the seasonal people are brought on full time since South Jordan hires within. I got lucky because they had already hired all their seasonal help on a full time basis. I was the first hire they've ever employed by placing an ad with outside agencies like the newspaper or the Department of Workforce Services.
Go me.
Well, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go clean my bathroom to the sounds of La Bouche with "Be My Lover".
-Mike The Janitor
©2007
Millenoma Publishing
The second week of the rest of my life
As promised, my fellow cyber buddies, I will now detail for you some of the events that took place last week in my new career of being a Parks Maintenance Worker for the City of South Jordan.
You may recall that I gave a tease about some of the things I had encountered in week two of my new gig.
One of those was regarding me falling down. I so did. And it kind of hurt and it was embarrassing.
Last Monday my co-worker Paul and myself were continuing the task of aerating. Except this time we weren't doing park strips as I had in week one with Ronda.
This aerating was the actual parks of South Jordan. Not only were we using the hand aerator (also known as the "walk behind" aerator), but we also hand a New Holland tractor with a large aerator attached to the back of it.
The tractor is to cover the big areas that would take days to do with a hand aerator. The only problem I have with this tractor is that it has to be driven to every park location. And let me tell you, that takes some getting used to.
The reason being is because it only goes about 15 miles per hour or so. And sometimes you have to drive on busy streets with it to get where you're going. It's somewhat scary.
Anyway, the first park we did on Monday morning was behind Bingham High. It's called "Prospector Park". It's a medium sized park with a playground, bathrooms, large grassy area and picnic tables under a covered picnic area.
It was here that Paul showed me how to operate the tractor and the aerator attachment. That was fun and easy. You just have to pay attention to sprinkler heads, valve covers, sidewalk edges and light poles when operating the tractor. Basic common sense, in other words.
I did some of this park in the tractor and switched off with Paul. HE got on the tractor and finished up while I went and used the walk behind aerator to do some of the areas of the park that the tractor can't get to because it's too big.
One of these areas is right in the front portion of the park where the "Prospector Park" sign is located. For whatever reason, I was walking along with the aerator and making a sharp turn. I was trying to get around a fire hydrant without having to stop.
The problem is, the walk behind aerator is self-propelled and is pretty quick. As I came around the corner, I lost my balance. Instead of letting go of the throttle handle and stopping the aerator, I kept it in motion.
The aerator pulled me forward as I lost my balance on this sharp turn. As I lost my footing, I tripped on the curb I was walking along side of. As I tripped, I fell into the parking lot trying to regain my balance.
I didn't regain my balance, however, and I tumbled onto my ass with a hard thud. I also realized after I fell that I had slightly sprained my ankle when I tripped on the curb.
I just sat there. I laughed and thought "Boy, I hope nobody saw that".
"Hey man, are you ok? That was pretty funny"! I hear from behind me.
Sure enough, a few students from Bingham High were walking to school on the sidewalk across from the one I was aerating against.
"Oh yes, I'm fine. This is what happens when you drink and drive, kids. Don't do it".
That response got a blank stare from the three boys and two girls. Then the one boy ho asked if I was ok said: "Uhhhhhhh, yeah man. Whatever".
They all proceeded to giggle as they continued to school.
This moment started off my week.
I got up and collected myself and slightly limped the rest of the day from my fall.
When we finished that park, we moved onto another. Paul drove the tractor to one larger park that needed to be aerated and I took the walk behind to a smaller park on Redwood Road that needed aerating.
We couldn't use the tractor at this smaller park because it has too many trees. But it's big enough that it takes over and hour to do with the walk behind aerator.
Me being the "FNG", I got the honor of walking my ass off at the smaller park. "FNG", by the way, stands for "Fucking New Guy".
It was in this park that things got a little tense. Upon my first pass of aerating this park, a medium sized dog ran out towards me when I reached Redwood Road. At first, the dog would just run up and keep a distance away and growl and bark. But then it got more aggressive.
Overlooking this park is a large house. Well, the back porch area of a large house. On the back porch was the homeowner watching me. My direction of travel with aerator was West to East.
As I walked West, I'd be walking towards Redwood Road. As I turned around and walked East, I'd be walking towards a large rock wall that divides the park from the suburb on the other side.
This is where this guys house sits. On the opposite side of this wall. As I approached the wall, he signaled me. I turned off the aerator.
He explained that the dog belonged to the people that lived in the bright yellow duplex to the South of the rock wall. He said that the dog has gotten out before and that there is a leash and a doghouse in the backyard of the duplex.
I told the citizen that if the dog got anymore aggressive that I would knock on the door of the home where the dog belongs and speak to them. He said he didn't think they were home because they would have let the dog in by now. He then suggested I chain up the dog myself because he didn't want to see the dog get hit by a car.
Well, fuck you, citizen. God forbid I get attacked by a dog and mauled to death and it run out in the street and gets hit by a car.
I didn't say that, mind you. I just thought it. I bet this guy is a member of PETA.
As I continued my aerating, I changed my direction of travel to avoid the area of Redwood Road until the very last. I somehow figured the dog would go away or fall asleep or get bored running out and trying to start a war with me and the aerator.
Fat chance.
As I got to Redwood to finish up one last small area of the park, here comes the dog. Except this time, he didn't charge the aerator, he charged me.
Now, this isn't a large dog. I didn't feel threatened by it. It was just starting to impede on me trying to do my job and becoming a real damn nuisance.
With every charge the dog would make, he got closer and closer to me. He also started to get clever. As I would walk towards Redwood Road, he would charge me and the aerator from the South running North.
As I turned around, I would lose sight of him because he'd quickly get behind me and bite the backs of my heels and my calfs. After this happened a couple of times, I got pissed.
On the third time of this dog doing this, I whirled around and yelled "GET OUT OF HERE"! while walking quickly towards the dog. The dog would dart away and run into Redwood Road.
Oh great.
When this happened, I hear the citizen on his back porch yell: "I TOLD YOU! GO NEXT DOOR"!
In my mind I yell back: "FUCK YOU, DOUCHE BAG! YOU COME DOWN HERE AND TRY TO MANAGE THIS CRAZED BITING DOG"!
So I go over to the duplex and knock on the door several times. No answer. The dog is right there behind me barking and growling. I then walk to the backyard area and see the doghouse and chain. It also looks like the dog has broken free from it's collar.
I'm not about to try and nab this dog and get a collar around it's neck while it eats my face in the process. No thank you.
So I decide to do my best to work around the dog and get my aerating done. I just have a little bit more to do. It'll be fine.
As I walked back and start to aerate, the dog continues to attack me from behind and starts biting harder. Every time I turn around he runs out into the street.
Time to call Animal Control.
I call my supervisor, Kim, and explain to her that I have a little bit left to do but I can't finish because this damn dog is making the situation much more dangerous than it needs to be. Plus, I have PETA literally looking over my shoulder from their back porch so I can't beat the dog with a shovel.
Animal Control is dispatched with a quickness. It's around this time that I try to keep working and ignore the dog. But he is getting more aggressive and jumping up on me while biting.
It is this action by the dog that a couple of guys from our Streets Maintenance Department pull over to come and help me. They just happened to be driving by when they saw I was having a difficult time.
They scared the dog off and kept him at bay while I finished my aeration. Then Animal Control showed up to try and assist.
After I finished up, the woman from Animal Control was having a hard time catching the dog, so she called for back up from Code Enforcement. When I left, there were two people trying to catch this mutt.
The thing is, I don't know what happened after that because I had to move on to more aeration. So you'll all be in suspense as to what happened to the dog as I am.
Keep in mind, I never wanted the dog to be arrested. That was a last resort. But I couldn't have him getting more aggressive with his biting and I couldn't have him running in the street.
After that whole circus, I met up with Paul over by City Hall where he was working with the tractor aerating these large pieces of land that are retention ponds. I, again, used the walk behind aerator to get the areas that Paul couldn't reach with the tractor.
ONce we finished that up, we moved on to an area known as "Welcome Park". This is a small patch of land that seems to welcome hobos. The "park" is located on the East side of I-15 and 10600 South. Right next to a Denny's that sits on the South side of the "park". It's not really a park at all, in my opinion. Just land that South Jordan maintains because it falls in our boundaries.
It was here that Paul almost threw up. I drove the tractor to this location from 1600 West on 10600 South. Nothing like a slow ass moving tractor to hold up traffic on a major roadway. Jesus!
When I got there, I noticed right away that a bum had set up camp under one of the trees. There was a pillow, a sleeping bag, a variety of canned foods both opened and unopened, some peanut putter and crackers, a large duffle bag, some bread, some bologna and a large dead bird under the duffle bag.
There was also some toilet paper and shit, too. The smell was awful. Paul and myself used shovels to clean up the mess. But the smell was a little too much for Paul and he had to walk away to gag something fierce.
He also made sure to mention to me that this was going to be an ongoing part of my job. Especially during the summer. It then dawned on me that being a Parks Maintenance Worker entails so much more than just taking care of lawns and sprinklers and playgrounds.
It also entails the cleaning up of overflowing trash cans at the parks. And, most of all, the BATHROOMS at the parks.
YUCK. Oh well. All in a days work.
Anyway, Paul and myself were able to make it through the hobo cleanup without having to call a hazmat team. I couldn't help but wonder where the hobo was. I was worried that we were going to find his body next. I'll be damned if I'm cleaning THAT up.
I need some breakfast and another cup of coffee. I'll return to my storytelling in a bit, my cyber friends. I still have Tuesday through Friday to relay to you. Who knew that one day in my life doing this city government job would be such an epic tale?!
-Mike The Janitor
©2007
Millenoma Publishing
You may recall that I gave a tease about some of the things I had encountered in week two of my new gig.
One of those was regarding me falling down. I so did. And it kind of hurt and it was embarrassing.
Last Monday my co-worker Paul and myself were continuing the task of aerating. Except this time we weren't doing park strips as I had in week one with Ronda.
This aerating was the actual parks of South Jordan. Not only were we using the hand aerator (also known as the "walk behind" aerator), but we also hand a New Holland tractor with a large aerator attached to the back of it.
The tractor is to cover the big areas that would take days to do with a hand aerator. The only problem I have with this tractor is that it has to be driven to every park location. And let me tell you, that takes some getting used to.
The reason being is because it only goes about 15 miles per hour or so. And sometimes you have to drive on busy streets with it to get where you're going. It's somewhat scary.
Anyway, the first park we did on Monday morning was behind Bingham High. It's called "Prospector Park". It's a medium sized park with a playground, bathrooms, large grassy area and picnic tables under a covered picnic area.
It was here that Paul showed me how to operate the tractor and the aerator attachment. That was fun and easy. You just have to pay attention to sprinkler heads, valve covers, sidewalk edges and light poles when operating the tractor. Basic common sense, in other words.
I did some of this park in the tractor and switched off with Paul. HE got on the tractor and finished up while I went and used the walk behind aerator to do some of the areas of the park that the tractor can't get to because it's too big.
One of these areas is right in the front portion of the park where the "Prospector Park" sign is located. For whatever reason, I was walking along with the aerator and making a sharp turn. I was trying to get around a fire hydrant without having to stop.
The problem is, the walk behind aerator is self-propelled and is pretty quick. As I came around the corner, I lost my balance. Instead of letting go of the throttle handle and stopping the aerator, I kept it in motion.
The aerator pulled me forward as I lost my balance on this sharp turn. As I lost my footing, I tripped on the curb I was walking along side of. As I tripped, I fell into the parking lot trying to regain my balance.
I didn't regain my balance, however, and I tumbled onto my ass with a hard thud. I also realized after I fell that I had slightly sprained my ankle when I tripped on the curb.
I just sat there. I laughed and thought "Boy, I hope nobody saw that".
"Hey man, are you ok? That was pretty funny"! I hear from behind me.
Sure enough, a few students from Bingham High were walking to school on the sidewalk across from the one I was aerating against.
"Oh yes, I'm fine. This is what happens when you drink and drive, kids. Don't do it".
That response got a blank stare from the three boys and two girls. Then the one boy ho asked if I was ok said: "Uhhhhhhh, yeah man. Whatever".
They all proceeded to giggle as they continued to school.
This moment started off my week.
I got up and collected myself and slightly limped the rest of the day from my fall.
When we finished that park, we moved onto another. Paul drove the tractor to one larger park that needed to be aerated and I took the walk behind to a smaller park on Redwood Road that needed aerating.
We couldn't use the tractor at this smaller park because it has too many trees. But it's big enough that it takes over and hour to do with the walk behind aerator.
Me being the "FNG", I got the honor of walking my ass off at the smaller park. "FNG", by the way, stands for "Fucking New Guy".
It was in this park that things got a little tense. Upon my first pass of aerating this park, a medium sized dog ran out towards me when I reached Redwood Road. At first, the dog would just run up and keep a distance away and growl and bark. But then it got more aggressive.
Overlooking this park is a large house. Well, the back porch area of a large house. On the back porch was the homeowner watching me. My direction of travel with aerator was West to East.
As I walked West, I'd be walking towards Redwood Road. As I turned around and walked East, I'd be walking towards a large rock wall that divides the park from the suburb on the other side.
This is where this guys house sits. On the opposite side of this wall. As I approached the wall, he signaled me. I turned off the aerator.
He explained that the dog belonged to the people that lived in the bright yellow duplex to the South of the rock wall. He said that the dog has gotten out before and that there is a leash and a doghouse in the backyard of the duplex.
I told the citizen that if the dog got anymore aggressive that I would knock on the door of the home where the dog belongs and speak to them. He said he didn't think they were home because they would have let the dog in by now. He then suggested I chain up the dog myself because he didn't want to see the dog get hit by a car.
Well, fuck you, citizen. God forbid I get attacked by a dog and mauled to death and it run out in the street and gets hit by a car.
I didn't say that, mind you. I just thought it. I bet this guy is a member of PETA.
As I continued my aerating, I changed my direction of travel to avoid the area of Redwood Road until the very last. I somehow figured the dog would go away or fall asleep or get bored running out and trying to start a war with me and the aerator.
Fat chance.
As I got to Redwood to finish up one last small area of the park, here comes the dog. Except this time, he didn't charge the aerator, he charged me.
Now, this isn't a large dog. I didn't feel threatened by it. It was just starting to impede on me trying to do my job and becoming a real damn nuisance.
With every charge the dog would make, he got closer and closer to me. He also started to get clever. As I would walk towards Redwood Road, he would charge me and the aerator from the South running North.
As I turned around, I would lose sight of him because he'd quickly get behind me and bite the backs of my heels and my calfs. After this happened a couple of times, I got pissed.
On the third time of this dog doing this, I whirled around and yelled "GET OUT OF HERE"! while walking quickly towards the dog. The dog would dart away and run into Redwood Road.
Oh great.
When this happened, I hear the citizen on his back porch yell: "I TOLD YOU! GO NEXT DOOR"!
In my mind I yell back: "FUCK YOU, DOUCHE BAG! YOU COME DOWN HERE AND TRY TO MANAGE THIS CRAZED BITING DOG"!
So I go over to the duplex and knock on the door several times. No answer. The dog is right there behind me barking and growling. I then walk to the backyard area and see the doghouse and chain. It also looks like the dog has broken free from it's collar.
I'm not about to try and nab this dog and get a collar around it's neck while it eats my face in the process. No thank you.
So I decide to do my best to work around the dog and get my aerating done. I just have a little bit more to do. It'll be fine.
As I walked back and start to aerate, the dog continues to attack me from behind and starts biting harder. Every time I turn around he runs out into the street.
Time to call Animal Control.
I call my supervisor, Kim, and explain to her that I have a little bit left to do but I can't finish because this damn dog is making the situation much more dangerous than it needs to be. Plus, I have PETA literally looking over my shoulder from their back porch so I can't beat the dog with a shovel.
Animal Control is dispatched with a quickness. It's around this time that I try to keep working and ignore the dog. But he is getting more aggressive and jumping up on me while biting.
It is this action by the dog that a couple of guys from our Streets Maintenance Department pull over to come and help me. They just happened to be driving by when they saw I was having a difficult time.
They scared the dog off and kept him at bay while I finished my aeration. Then Animal Control showed up to try and assist.
After I finished up, the woman from Animal Control was having a hard time catching the dog, so she called for back up from Code Enforcement. When I left, there were two people trying to catch this mutt.
The thing is, I don't know what happened after that because I had to move on to more aeration. So you'll all be in suspense as to what happened to the dog as I am.
Keep in mind, I never wanted the dog to be arrested. That was a last resort. But I couldn't have him getting more aggressive with his biting and I couldn't have him running in the street.
After that whole circus, I met up with Paul over by City Hall where he was working with the tractor aerating these large pieces of land that are retention ponds. I, again, used the walk behind aerator to get the areas that Paul couldn't reach with the tractor.
ONce we finished that up, we moved on to an area known as "Welcome Park". This is a small patch of land that seems to welcome hobos. The "park" is located on the East side of I-15 and 10600 South. Right next to a Denny's that sits on the South side of the "park". It's not really a park at all, in my opinion. Just land that South Jordan maintains because it falls in our boundaries.
It was here that Paul almost threw up. I drove the tractor to this location from 1600 West on 10600 South. Nothing like a slow ass moving tractor to hold up traffic on a major roadway. Jesus!
When I got there, I noticed right away that a bum had set up camp under one of the trees. There was a pillow, a sleeping bag, a variety of canned foods both opened and unopened, some peanut putter and crackers, a large duffle bag, some bread, some bologna and a large dead bird under the duffle bag.
There was also some toilet paper and shit, too. The smell was awful. Paul and myself used shovels to clean up the mess. But the smell was a little too much for Paul and he had to walk away to gag something fierce.
He also made sure to mention to me that this was going to be an ongoing part of my job. Especially during the summer. It then dawned on me that being a Parks Maintenance Worker entails so much more than just taking care of lawns and sprinklers and playgrounds.
It also entails the cleaning up of overflowing trash cans at the parks. And, most of all, the BATHROOMS at the parks.
YUCK. Oh well. All in a days work.
Anyway, Paul and myself were able to make it through the hobo cleanup without having to call a hazmat team. I couldn't help but wonder where the hobo was. I was worried that we were going to find his body next. I'll be damned if I'm cleaning THAT up.
I need some breakfast and another cup of coffee. I'll return to my storytelling in a bit, my cyber friends. I still have Tuesday through Friday to relay to you. Who knew that one day in my life doing this city government job would be such an epic tale?!
-Mike The Janitor
©2007
Millenoma Publishing
3.17.2007
OK OK OK!
So, in the couple of hours since my last blog posting entitled "Happy St. Patrick's Day and DEATH to Mike The Janitor", I've come to find out that several of you don't want my cyber death here on MySpace to happen.
As a matter a fact, a couple of you from my "Mike The Jordan" profile sent friend requests to my "Mike The Janitor" profile to push your point even further.
AND to really make it clear that some of you don't want me to delete it, a fan from Erie, Pennsylvania wrote this email to me (in all caps) to let it be known they will not rest until I change my mind:
MIKE! WHAT THE SHIT, PUNK? I HAVE A BETTER IDEA FOR U THAN DELETING MIKE THE JANITOR. HOWS ABOUT JUST UPDATING IT WITH SOME NEW AUDIO AND INFO? HOW ABOUT A NEW PICTURE, TOO? MYSELF AND SEVERAL OTHER DON'T WANT YOU TO RID MYSPACE OR YOUR LIFE OF MIKE THE JANITOR. THATS A SLAP IN THE FACE TO YOUR FANS. I WAS TALKING ABOUT U TO A FEW OF MY BUDS IN SHERLOCKS AND THEY FELT THE SAME. WE MADE A MINI PETETION TO MAKE YOU CHANGE YOUR MIND ABOUT YOUR POOR DECISION. SPEAKING ON BEHALF OF ME AND THE 20 OTHER PEOPLE WHO DONT WANT YOU TO DELETE YOUR PROFILE ARE MATT, MARK, TERRY, CHELSEA, RACHEL, WENDY, HANNAH, NINA, ROMA, LONDON, RICKY, BENNY, HAROLD, LEXY, MARIA, YULVA, CHRIS, MICHELLE, JOSH AND PAUL. NOW KEEP THE DAMN PROFILE AND UPDATE IT.
WORD,
ROBERT OF ERIE
Ummmmmmmmm, OK! Fine, Robert. To appease you and the 20 other people that you claim to have talked to about my profile deletion (and the fact the governor of Utah has granted a cyber pardon in the case of my execution), I'll keep the profile up.
And I'll update it, too.
This was not a way to fish for attention, by the way. I was just honestly tired of having a profile that really doesn't mean all that much to me. But Robert's email, and a few I've received since making my announcement, made me realize that such a decision would be inconsiderate to those who have fond memories of Mike The Janitor.
So my apologies to my friends, fans and listeners over the years who might have been offended by my "irrational" decision. I'd like to point out that, once again, the people in Erie have been the most vocal about this.
My Erie listeners are crazy supportive of Mike The Janitor. I can't let them down because I'm sure they'd kill me.
So instead of the Mike The Janitor cyber death, be on the lookout for new audio, pictures and attitude. Hell, maybe this will include a part time gig at 94.9 The Blaze here in Utah. That is if my colleague Kayvon pulls his head out of his rear and gets me on the staff.
KAYVON? YOU READING ME? HELLO?
Also be on the lookout for more podcasts and specials I'll be doing exclusively on WildVoice.com. If have yet to visit WildVoice.com, please do so and check out the Mike The Janitor profile and the Darker Side profile. Both of these profiles feature some great audio! I've provided links below to make it easy for you to check these profiles out.
Once you've listened to the audio and read up on the information on both of these profiles on WildVoice.com, create a FREE profile for yourself. Tell 'em Mike The Janitor sent you! Make yourself a star on WildVoice.com! It's a great, original site full of some fantastic content from people all over the United States and the world!
OK, I gotta get to typing some other blogs, recording a couple of podcasts for WildVoice.com and cleaning up my apartment. That's how I celebrate St. Patrick's Day alone. Oh, I also drink green dye so that when I pee, it's a cool green stream.
-Mike The Janitor
©2007
Millenoma Publishing
As a matter a fact, a couple of you from my "Mike The Jordan" profile sent friend requests to my "Mike The Janitor" profile to push your point even further.
AND to really make it clear that some of you don't want me to delete it, a fan from Erie, Pennsylvania wrote this email to me (in all caps) to let it be known they will not rest until I change my mind:
MIKE! WHAT THE SHIT, PUNK? I HAVE A BETTER IDEA FOR U THAN DELETING MIKE THE JANITOR. HOWS ABOUT JUST UPDATING IT WITH SOME NEW AUDIO AND INFO? HOW ABOUT A NEW PICTURE, TOO? MYSELF AND SEVERAL OTHER DON'T WANT YOU TO RID MYSPACE OR YOUR LIFE OF MIKE THE JANITOR. THATS A SLAP IN THE FACE TO YOUR FANS. I WAS TALKING ABOUT U TO A FEW OF MY BUDS IN SHERLOCKS AND THEY FELT THE SAME. WE MADE A MINI PETETION TO MAKE YOU CHANGE YOUR MIND ABOUT YOUR POOR DECISION. SPEAKING ON BEHALF OF ME AND THE 20 OTHER PEOPLE WHO DONT WANT YOU TO DELETE YOUR PROFILE ARE MATT, MARK, TERRY, CHELSEA, RACHEL, WENDY, HANNAH, NINA, ROMA, LONDON, RICKY, BENNY, HAROLD, LEXY, MARIA, YULVA, CHRIS, MICHELLE, JOSH AND PAUL. NOW KEEP THE DAMN PROFILE AND UPDATE IT.
WORD,
ROBERT OF ERIE
Ummmmmmmmm, OK! Fine, Robert. To appease you and the 20 other people that you claim to have talked to about my profile deletion (and the fact the governor of Utah has granted a cyber pardon in the case of my execution), I'll keep the profile up.
And I'll update it, too.
This was not a way to fish for attention, by the way. I was just honestly tired of having a profile that really doesn't mean all that much to me. But Robert's email, and a few I've received since making my announcement, made me realize that such a decision would be inconsiderate to those who have fond memories of Mike The Janitor.
So my apologies to my friends, fans and listeners over the years who might have been offended by my "irrational" decision. I'd like to point out that, once again, the people in Erie have been the most vocal about this.
My Erie listeners are crazy supportive of Mike The Janitor. I can't let them down because I'm sure they'd kill me.
So instead of the Mike The Janitor cyber death, be on the lookout for new audio, pictures and attitude. Hell, maybe this will include a part time gig at 94.9 The Blaze here in Utah. That is if my colleague Kayvon pulls his head out of his rear and gets me on the staff.
KAYVON? YOU READING ME? HELLO?
Also be on the lookout for more podcasts and specials I'll be doing exclusively on WildVoice.com. If have yet to visit WildVoice.com, please do so and check out the Mike The Janitor profile and the Darker Side profile. Both of these profiles feature some great audio! I've provided links below to make it easy for you to check these profiles out.
Once you've listened to the audio and read up on the information on both of these profiles on WildVoice.com, create a FREE profile for yourself. Tell 'em Mike The Janitor sent you! Make yourself a star on WildVoice.com! It's a great, original site full of some fantastic content from people all over the United States and the world!
OK, I gotta get to typing some other blogs, recording a couple of podcasts for WildVoice.com and cleaning up my apartment. That's how I celebrate St. Patrick's Day alone. Oh, I also drink green dye so that when I pee, it's a cool green stream.
-Mike The Janitor
©2007
Millenoma Publishing
Happy St. Patricks Day & death to Mike The Janitor!
Well, the job at KPNZ (Channel 24) didn't pan out. I met with the general operations manager yesterday and I could tell he like me and knew I could do a great job.
He didn't care for the fact that my schedule wasn't more flexible. It would seem that not only did he need me for Saturday and Sunday work (the shift would have been from 2 PM until midnight) but he also would have needed me on a regular on-call basis, too.
Since I work from 7 AM until 4 PM Monday through Friday, I'm supposing that doesn't work with his needs. I also got that he kind of wanted me to leave my city government job so that I could work for less to be on call part time.
But I did learn that KPNZ has been sold to YET ANOTHER Spanish broadcasting company looking to cash in on the ever growing problem of illegal immigration. But I won't get into that argument right now.
Apparently KPNZ is not sure what is in store as far as it's programming future is concerned. We already have five Spanish speaking stations in Utah. And channel 24 does fairly well in the ratings with carrying "Sex In The City" and "South Park".
The worry at channel 24 is that everyone will be canned and they'll start up another Spanish station. But they can't do that until they fulfill their contractual obligations to the programs they've bought to carry on the airwaves of channel 24.
Sounds like that if I got the job, I wouldn't have it after six months anyway. But I was still looking forward to doing it on a part time basis.
Shucks.
I also didn't hear back from good ol' Kayvon over there at 94.9 The Blaze. He assured me to be patient and he'd call me back at the end of the week. The end of the BUSINESS week was yesterday. Perhaps he meant the end of the actual week. Maybe his week starts on Tuesday or Wednesday and I won't be hearing back from him until next week on one of those days.
IT'S JUST A PART TIME JOB! HOW FUCKING HARD IS IT TO BRING ME ON BOARD AND GET SHIT ROLLING?! Fuck this pisses me off. Just another reason why I don't bother to try and get back into radio.
Which reminds me...
Mike The Janitor is dead. At least here on MySpace. The profile is going away and I'm happy to do it. There is no reason for me to have two profiles on here, anyway.
Since my announcement last Saturday that THIS Saturday would be the termination day of Mike The Janitor, only ONE person put forth the effort to get added to my "Mike The Jordan" profile.
That person was Carrie. Carrie and I worked together at 93.9 The Planet when I was there doing mornings. When the station flipped to country, she became the program director and also did the morning show. She left recently to pursue life in the private sector. I don't blame her.
So my thanks to Carrie for coming over to here and being my friend. As for everyone else that is on the friend list of that profile, they're going away with it. 66 people in all. Well, maybe less than that since several people are on both my MySpace profiles.
Let us all bow our heads and give a moment of silence to the late Mike The Janitor. He was a good man and a tremendous radio talent. He will be greatly missed on the radio and on MySpace.
The Father, The Son and The Holy Spirit... blah, blah, blah... AMEN!
*clicks "delete"*
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
-Mike The Janitor
©2007
Millenoma Publishing
He didn't care for the fact that my schedule wasn't more flexible. It would seem that not only did he need me for Saturday and Sunday work (the shift would have been from 2 PM until midnight) but he also would have needed me on a regular on-call basis, too.
Since I work from 7 AM until 4 PM Monday through Friday, I'm supposing that doesn't work with his needs. I also got that he kind of wanted me to leave my city government job so that I could work for less to be on call part time.
But I did learn that KPNZ has been sold to YET ANOTHER Spanish broadcasting company looking to cash in on the ever growing problem of illegal immigration. But I won't get into that argument right now.
Apparently KPNZ is not sure what is in store as far as it's programming future is concerned. We already have five Spanish speaking stations in Utah. And channel 24 does fairly well in the ratings with carrying "Sex In The City" and "South Park".
The worry at channel 24 is that everyone will be canned and they'll start up another Spanish station. But they can't do that until they fulfill their contractual obligations to the programs they've bought to carry on the airwaves of channel 24.
Sounds like that if I got the job, I wouldn't have it after six months anyway. But I was still looking forward to doing it on a part time basis.
Shucks.
I also didn't hear back from good ol' Kayvon over there at 94.9 The Blaze. He assured me to be patient and he'd call me back at the end of the week. The end of the BUSINESS week was yesterday. Perhaps he meant the end of the actual week. Maybe his week starts on Tuesday or Wednesday and I won't be hearing back from him until next week on one of those days.
IT'S JUST A PART TIME JOB! HOW FUCKING HARD IS IT TO BRING ME ON BOARD AND GET SHIT ROLLING?! Fuck this pisses me off. Just another reason why I don't bother to try and get back into radio.
Which reminds me...
Mike The Janitor is dead. At least here on MySpace. The profile is going away and I'm happy to do it. There is no reason for me to have two profiles on here, anyway.
Since my announcement last Saturday that THIS Saturday would be the termination day of Mike The Janitor, only ONE person put forth the effort to get added to my "Mike The Jordan" profile.
That person was Carrie. Carrie and I worked together at 93.9 The Planet when I was there doing mornings. When the station flipped to country, she became the program director and also did the morning show. She left recently to pursue life in the private sector. I don't blame her.
So my thanks to Carrie for coming over to here and being my friend. As for everyone else that is on the friend list of that profile, they're going away with it. 66 people in all. Well, maybe less than that since several people are on both my MySpace profiles.
Let us all bow our heads and give a moment of silence to the late Mike The Janitor. He was a good man and a tremendous radio talent. He will be greatly missed on the radio and on MySpace.
The Father, The Son and The Holy Spirit... blah, blah, blah... AMEN!
*clicks "delete"*
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
-Mike The Janitor
©2007
Millenoma Publishing
3.15.2007
ENOUGH with the Trolley Square shooting already!
Oh, I'm sure this blog will piss someone off. It might make someone so angry, they'll start a support group. And that support group will come and picket in front of my home. And that picket will bring media coverage which will just prolong the coverage of the Trolley Square shooting.
For those of you that didn't see or hear about this shooting, let me refresh your memory. It was a pretty big deal here in Salt Lake and gained national new coverage.
On February 12th, an 18 year kid by the name of Sulejman Talovic went to a popular mall here known as Trolley Square. Right as he got out of his car, he produced a shotgun and killed two people in the parking lot.
He then went into the mall and opened fire on anyone he laid eyes on. While he was on his killing rampage, an off-duty police officer from the city of Ogden, Utah heard the commotion.
He just happened to be at the mall with his wife having an early Valentine's Day meal. Upon hearing the shots, he sought out what was going on and found this young man blasting away.
This cop was able to hold the shooter at bay while Salt Lake police officers showed up with a quickness. They then killed the young man when it was clear he wasn't going to surrender.
The 18 year old male was a Bosnian refugee. Along with his death, he killed five other people and wounded four others. One of the wounded is still in the hospital.
Since that terrible tragedy, every local news agency here in Salt Lake has found every goddamn way to cram this down our throats. No stone has gone unturned. They had coverage from every angle during the siege and well after.
They had a candle light vigil to mourn those who were killed and rally around those wounded. They covered the story of the Ogden police officer who saved the day and put himself in harms way.
They talked to his wife and how she felt about everything that happened on that fateful night. They held several press conferences regarding certain aspects of the rampage.
They talked to the family of the teenage shooter. They did live breaks from his home. They gave countless updates on when Trolley Square would reopen and what stores would remain closed until further investigation could be done.
They talked to every single family member of every person killed and wounded. They talked to people that were witnesses to the shooting inside the mall. They showed exclusive footage of people who were able to fire up their camera/video phones and/or camcorders during the bloodbath.
They covered the funerals of the innocents killed. They talked to many of the officers that were the first responders. They continued to show footage that was filmed the night of the shootings while talking to analysts trying to figure out why this kid did what he did.
They had timelines and special graphics made up to give more detailed coverage of who was shot where and how many rounds were fired off and how police contained the entire city block that Trolley Square sits on.
They talked to doctors, nurses and hospital staff that were on site when the wounded were brought in.
They covered a special ceremony for the dispatchers and their tireless effort to calm the general public calling in as well as keeping the police and other emergency personnel well informed.
They talked about the Utah Transit Authority bringing in buses and how well they helped out during the crisis since everyone at Trolley Square that night had to leave their cars in the parking lot.
And just when I thought it couldn't get anymore over-the-top, they held a HUGE production of a funeral for one of the victims who was killed. THREE WEEKS after she was shot to death in the store "Cabin Fever" inside the Trolley Square mall, a young girl named Kirsten Hinckley, age 15, was put to rest.
The funeral was of epic proportions and it made me kind of pissed off. I felt so very sad for this girl and her family. Her mother was also killed with her in the same store that night. It was completely awful and she was just a kid.
However, I felt that this funeral was a deliberate attempt to try and win the hearts of all Utahns in some kind of public relations spin.
This funeral involved several police organizations, fire departments and rescue personnel who were dressed in their dress uniforms.
One comment from an official with the Unified Fire Authority and the Salt Lake Police Department said this funeral was just a step below a full on funeral for a firefighter or police officer killed in the line of duty.
Are you shitting me? It angered me that this girls body was put on ice so they could drag out this tragedy even further. It was practically disgusting, as far as I'm concerned.
This poor young teen was a victim of a brutal and deadly attack. Yes, she was just a kid. Yes, it was terrible and unfortunate. But did it require such an escapade as a funeral like this? This is taxpayers money going to pay for the planning of this event and all the equipment and personnel that was on display there.
For me, it took away from the feelings, emotions and seriousness that come with a funeral of this nature when a police officer or firefighter loses their life in the line of duty.
This young girls death did not constitute such a production. She wasn't hero. She was shot and killed with her mother while doing some Valentine's Day card shopping.
Now, had she put up some kind of fight before being killed, I could understand going to such extremes for a funeral. But this is not the case.
My other problem with this is why they didn't treat the other deaths in the same fashion? What did the other families think about getting snubbed like that being made to think that their loss wasn't as great as that of this young girl?
After I saw the funeral coverage, I thought that would be the end of it all.
Nope.
Last night they did a report on the young girl who was somewhat involved with the teen shooter. They led the story with: "After weeks of dealing with the pain of what happened, she breaks her silence."
WHAT?
No, what she is doing is trying to get her 15 minutes in because every other last motherfucker that was anywhere near Trolley Square that night or involved with any of the victims has been covered!
This whole thing has gone from a terrible, tragic event to a overplayed media circus. If it isn't Anna Nicole Smith, it's the Trolley Square shooting.
The reason for this bombardment of media coverage over this shooting is because it actually happened. The people of Utah are a sheltered bunch. Now we have a serious incident that has happened and tainted the good name of "Utah".
Many people here are up in arms about how this could happen and why. Many are still in denial that this shooting even took place because this is Utah, after all. Not here... not ever. BULLSHIT!
In some areas here, there are almost daily killings from a growing gang problem here in Salt Lake County. Some feel that this is the promised land and things like this don't happen here because this is the home of the Mormon religion and were all kind, simple folk.
Whatever.
Welcome to the real world. I was shocked myself when I heard of this shooting. Then I realized that it was time for Utah to get a huge slurp of reality soup. Shit like this happens all over the United States... even in good ol' Utah.
Our state is now a part of the official random killing spree elite.
I'm not trying to make jokes about this awful event. I think a week of coverage would have been enough. I still shake my head and feel sad for the loss of life that night. I feel for the families affected by this shooting. I feel for the family of the young man who decided to go on such a killing spree because they don't know why nor will they ever really know why he did it.
Well, unless you want to find out what the teen girl said who claims to have been involved with him now that she broke her silence.
Personally, I'd like to break her face with a hammer for trying to cash in on emotions that are already worn thin because this whole thing has been completely dumbed down thanks to our wonderful local news coverage.
I would like to close out this blog by giving you the names of those killed and wounded. Perhaps you can give them your own moment of silence and say a little prayer. Even if you're not religious, it would be nice to do. I did it and recommend you do, too.
In memoriam:
Teresa Ellis, 29
Brad Frantz, 24
Kirsten Hinckley, 15
Vanessa Quinn, 29
Jeffery Walker, 53
Wounded and hospitalized were:
Carolyn Tuft, 43 (mother of Kirsten Hinckley)
Shawn Munns, 34
Stacy Hanson, 53
Alan "A.J." Walker, 16 (son of Jeffery Walker)
By the way, here are the names of the officers that were honored as heroes for quickly dealing with the threat. In total, five officers were honored at the Utah state capitol on February 16 for their bravery in the Trolley Square shooting.
They are: Sgt. Andrew Oblad, Sgt. Joshua Scharman, Detective Dustin Marshall and Detective Brett Olsen, all of the Salt Lake City Police Department, and Officer Kenneth Hammond of the Ogden Police Department.
-Mike The Janitor
©2007
Millenoma Publishing
For those of you that didn't see or hear about this shooting, let me refresh your memory. It was a pretty big deal here in Salt Lake and gained national new coverage.
On February 12th, an 18 year kid by the name of Sulejman Talovic went to a popular mall here known as Trolley Square. Right as he got out of his car, he produced a shotgun and killed two people in the parking lot.
He then went into the mall and opened fire on anyone he laid eyes on. While he was on his killing rampage, an off-duty police officer from the city of Ogden, Utah heard the commotion.
He just happened to be at the mall with his wife having an early Valentine's Day meal. Upon hearing the shots, he sought out what was going on and found this young man blasting away.
This cop was able to hold the shooter at bay while Salt Lake police officers showed up with a quickness. They then killed the young man when it was clear he wasn't going to surrender.
The 18 year old male was a Bosnian refugee. Along with his death, he killed five other people and wounded four others. One of the wounded is still in the hospital.
Since that terrible tragedy, every local news agency here in Salt Lake has found every goddamn way to cram this down our throats. No stone has gone unturned. They had coverage from every angle during the siege and well after.
They had a candle light vigil to mourn those who were killed and rally around those wounded. They covered the story of the Ogden police officer who saved the day and put himself in harms way.
They talked to his wife and how she felt about everything that happened on that fateful night. They held several press conferences regarding certain aspects of the rampage.
They talked to the family of the teenage shooter. They did live breaks from his home. They gave countless updates on when Trolley Square would reopen and what stores would remain closed until further investigation could be done.
They talked to every single family member of every person killed and wounded. They talked to people that were witnesses to the shooting inside the mall. They showed exclusive footage of people who were able to fire up their camera/video phones and/or camcorders during the bloodbath.
They covered the funerals of the innocents killed. They talked to many of the officers that were the first responders. They continued to show footage that was filmed the night of the shootings while talking to analysts trying to figure out why this kid did what he did.
They had timelines and special graphics made up to give more detailed coverage of who was shot where and how many rounds were fired off and how police contained the entire city block that Trolley Square sits on.
They talked to doctors, nurses and hospital staff that were on site when the wounded were brought in.
They covered a special ceremony for the dispatchers and their tireless effort to calm the general public calling in as well as keeping the police and other emergency personnel well informed.
They talked about the Utah Transit Authority bringing in buses and how well they helped out during the crisis since everyone at Trolley Square that night had to leave their cars in the parking lot.
And just when I thought it couldn't get anymore over-the-top, they held a HUGE production of a funeral for one of the victims who was killed. THREE WEEKS after she was shot to death in the store "Cabin Fever" inside the Trolley Square mall, a young girl named Kirsten Hinckley, age 15, was put to rest.
The funeral was of epic proportions and it made me kind of pissed off. I felt so very sad for this girl and her family. Her mother was also killed with her in the same store that night. It was completely awful and she was just a kid.
However, I felt that this funeral was a deliberate attempt to try and win the hearts of all Utahns in some kind of public relations spin.
This funeral involved several police organizations, fire departments and rescue personnel who were dressed in their dress uniforms.
One comment from an official with the Unified Fire Authority and the Salt Lake Police Department said this funeral was just a step below a full on funeral for a firefighter or police officer killed in the line of duty.
Are you shitting me? It angered me that this girls body was put on ice so they could drag out this tragedy even further. It was practically disgusting, as far as I'm concerned.
This poor young teen was a victim of a brutal and deadly attack. Yes, she was just a kid. Yes, it was terrible and unfortunate. But did it require such an escapade as a funeral like this? This is taxpayers money going to pay for the planning of this event and all the equipment and personnel that was on display there.
For me, it took away from the feelings, emotions and seriousness that come with a funeral of this nature when a police officer or firefighter loses their life in the line of duty.
This young girls death did not constitute such a production. She wasn't hero. She was shot and killed with her mother while doing some Valentine's Day card shopping.
Now, had she put up some kind of fight before being killed, I could understand going to such extremes for a funeral. But this is not the case.
My other problem with this is why they didn't treat the other deaths in the same fashion? What did the other families think about getting snubbed like that being made to think that their loss wasn't as great as that of this young girl?
After I saw the funeral coverage, I thought that would be the end of it all.
Nope.
Last night they did a report on the young girl who was somewhat involved with the teen shooter. They led the story with: "After weeks of dealing with the pain of what happened, she breaks her silence."
WHAT?
No, what she is doing is trying to get her 15 minutes in because every other last motherfucker that was anywhere near Trolley Square that night or involved with any of the victims has been covered!
This whole thing has gone from a terrible, tragic event to a overplayed media circus. If it isn't Anna Nicole Smith, it's the Trolley Square shooting.
The reason for this bombardment of media coverage over this shooting is because it actually happened. The people of Utah are a sheltered bunch. Now we have a serious incident that has happened and tainted the good name of "Utah".
Many people here are up in arms about how this could happen and why. Many are still in denial that this shooting even took place because this is Utah, after all. Not here... not ever. BULLSHIT!
In some areas here, there are almost daily killings from a growing gang problem here in Salt Lake County. Some feel that this is the promised land and things like this don't happen here because this is the home of the Mormon religion and were all kind, simple folk.
Whatever.
Welcome to the real world. I was shocked myself when I heard of this shooting. Then I realized that it was time for Utah to get a huge slurp of reality soup. Shit like this happens all over the United States... even in good ol' Utah.
Our state is now a part of the official random killing spree elite.
I'm not trying to make jokes about this awful event. I think a week of coverage would have been enough. I still shake my head and feel sad for the loss of life that night. I feel for the families affected by this shooting. I feel for the family of the young man who decided to go on such a killing spree because they don't know why nor will they ever really know why he did it.
Well, unless you want to find out what the teen girl said who claims to have been involved with him now that she broke her silence.
Personally, I'd like to break her face with a hammer for trying to cash in on emotions that are already worn thin because this whole thing has been completely dumbed down thanks to our wonderful local news coverage.
I would like to close out this blog by giving you the names of those killed and wounded. Perhaps you can give them your own moment of silence and say a little prayer. Even if you're not religious, it would be nice to do. I did it and recommend you do, too.
In memoriam:
Teresa Ellis, 29
Brad Frantz, 24
Kirsten Hinckley, 15
Vanessa Quinn, 29
Jeffery Walker, 53
Wounded and hospitalized were:
Carolyn Tuft, 43 (mother of Kirsten Hinckley)
Shawn Munns, 34
Stacy Hanson, 53
Alan "A.J." Walker, 16 (son of Jeffery Walker)
By the way, here are the names of the officers that were honored as heroes for quickly dealing with the threat. In total, five officers were honored at the Utah state capitol on February 16 for their bravery in the Trolley Square shooting.
They are: Sgt. Andrew Oblad, Sgt. Joshua Scharman, Detective Dustin Marshall and Detective Brett Olsen, all of the Salt Lake City Police Department, and Officer Kenneth Hammond of the Ogden Police Department.
-Mike The Janitor
©2007
Millenoma Publishing
3.13.2007
Ummmmm... shit... NOW WHAT?!
I have a few things on my mind here after watching a rerun of the "Gilmore Girls"... which has nothing to do with anything I'm thinking. I just like the "Gilmore Girls". Actually, even though this was a rerun, I've never seen it.
Why the hell am I talking about this? You don't need to know about my private, guilty pleasure TV viewing. Speaking of TV... segue way....
Earlier this evening, I received a phone call from the general operations manager of KPNZ Channel 24.
Some of you may remember that they very day I received my job at South Jordan, this guy called me offering me something part time. Unfortunately, the hours didn't work with my present schedule.
He said he would keep me in mind if something else were to work out.
Well, it seems that it has.
He is having a meeting with me at 5:30 in the morning this coming Friday to fill a now vacant position as a master control operator. He informed me that the position will be Saturday and Sunday from two in the afternoon to 10 at night on both days.
Since I don't work weekends, YET, this could work for me. However, the only drawback would be when I'm needed for on-call work or weekend work with South Jordan. It isn't mandatory but it is voluntary. The only thing is, it would be overtime for me at time and a half.
I'm sure that KPNZ could not meet the same of what I make at time and a half. But it is something I would like to do and learn. It would be a great and fun part time gig.
The reason I'm having such an early meeting with this manager is because he gets to work at four in the morning and leaves around two or three. I don't get off work until four and it would take me at least half an hour to get to the studios of KPNZ.
So we compromised and agreed that this would the best time for us to meet. This way he has an hour and a half to get everything situated for his daily routine and it gives me time to meet with him before needing to be to work at seven in the morning.
But the exciting news doesn't stop there, my cyber buddies. OH NO...
Yesterday afternoon, none other than my former colleague Kayvon, called me from 94.9 The Blaze to apologize for not calling me sooner. He explained that things had been very busy and he's had his mind in 15 different projects at once.
I can accept this since I've worked in radio all my young adult life and know how it can be. I still called him a bastard for not getting in touch with me. He then proceeded to call himself a "douche bag" on my behalf.
I've never felt he was a douche bag. I just had the feeling of being strung along over a part time position, you know? Shit like this has happened to me over FULL TIME positions more than once in my radio career and it really has put a damper on my spirits.
Anyway, this is all very surreal. At this moment in time I'm available to work weekends. And now, it would seem, I have two opportunities presenting themselves.
On the left hand, we have my colleague and program director of 94.9 The Blaze, Kayvon, who has reassured me that he will be calling me at the end of the week to make possible final arrangements for me to come on board at 94.9 The Blaze.
On the right hand, we have KPNZ Channel 24 also looking to possibly hire me to work as a master control operator on the weekends.
Shit.
NOW WHAT?!
This is a real pickle.
Oh, and, it would seem that many of you are almost close to pissed that I'm killing off my Mike The Janitor profile here on MySpace. You've all gained a special bond with good ol' Mike The Janitor and don't want him gone.
I'm wondering if Kayvon over there at 94.9 The Blaze doesn't want him gone, either? Kayvon? Are you reading my blogs here on MySpace secretly? Are my blogs a fun, guilty pleasure like the "Gilmore Girls" are for me? I've come to find out that my blogs are a guilty pleasure for some who prefer to not let me know they are reading them.
My ex-girlfriend, the Starbucks barista, used to read them and confessed to it. I don't believe she does anymore, though. But if she does, let me give a shout out "YO K.J.!"
My other ex-girlfriend, the born-again-Mormon-naughty-hottie-but-can-still-suck-a-mean-dick-and-fuck-like-there-is-no-tomorrow-and-gave-me-so-many-dirty-pictures-of-herself-via-her-camera-phone-I-have-great-masturbation-material-for-years-to-come Amanda, actually broke into my MySpace account when we were seeing each other so she could prove a point.
Clever girl.
She was also manipulative and a liar. But then again, so was I. But we made great friends naked. And, to be honest, if she were to show up at my door today, I'd STILL do her. I might even try to have another relationship with her. YEAH! I SAID IT! SO WHAT? I can't help it. I miss her sometimes. And her vagina, too. And her perky titties. And lips of an angel.
Man, I'm being so crude, huh? Oh well. I'm a man not thinking clearly because I'm having a dry spell. My backed up plumbing has seeped into my cranium and is causing adverse reactions and thought processes and random babbling and typing of words that just seem to go on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on like now for the love of God I can't stop typing right now my hands and mind are out of control!
Did I ever tell you of the countless times Amanda and I had sex? The girl was a horny redhead. We once nailed the hell out of each other in a movie theater during the film "Inside Man". I still giggle at that. Of all the movies to be pounding the flesh together in, it was "Inside Man". I took the film literally. So did she.
Is it hot in here?
I'm getting off track.
I have some great stories to share from my South Jordan job but it'll have to wait, peeps.
I'll give you a tease... one story involves me falling down, another involves me getting attacked by a dog, one involves my co-worker Paul almost throwing up and another involves me calling the South Jordan police.
All this and it's only Tuesday!
You know what? I'm a reality show for you people! How awesome is that?
I may still kill off Mike The Janitor, though.
Your MySpace Cyber Buddy,
Mike The Jordan Janitor or Mike The Janitor Jordan or Just Mike or His Royal Highness Mike or That Crazy Guy Mike or Ultra Douche Bag Mike or Mike Michael Mikey or Michael Jordan... uhhhhh...
MY GOD! Why didn't I think of that before? MICHAEL JORDAN! That is a great new screen name for me on my "Mike The Jordan" profile!
Maybe not.
Am I still typing? I really gotta lay off the keyboard, man. I have to take up some new vice like drugs or smoking or yodeling.
Yodeling? I'm going to bed. Good God.
-Mike The Janitor
©2007
Millenoma Publishing
Why the hell am I talking about this? You don't need to know about my private, guilty pleasure TV viewing. Speaking of TV... segue way....
Earlier this evening, I received a phone call from the general operations manager of KPNZ Channel 24.
Some of you may remember that they very day I received my job at South Jordan, this guy called me offering me something part time. Unfortunately, the hours didn't work with my present schedule.
He said he would keep me in mind if something else were to work out.
Well, it seems that it has.
He is having a meeting with me at 5:30 in the morning this coming Friday to fill a now vacant position as a master control operator. He informed me that the position will be Saturday and Sunday from two in the afternoon to 10 at night on both days.
Since I don't work weekends, YET, this could work for me. However, the only drawback would be when I'm needed for on-call work or weekend work with South Jordan. It isn't mandatory but it is voluntary. The only thing is, it would be overtime for me at time and a half.
I'm sure that KPNZ could not meet the same of what I make at time and a half. But it is something I would like to do and learn. It would be a great and fun part time gig.
The reason I'm having such an early meeting with this manager is because he gets to work at four in the morning and leaves around two or three. I don't get off work until four and it would take me at least half an hour to get to the studios of KPNZ.
So we compromised and agreed that this would the best time for us to meet. This way he has an hour and a half to get everything situated for his daily routine and it gives me time to meet with him before needing to be to work at seven in the morning.
But the exciting news doesn't stop there, my cyber buddies. OH NO...
Yesterday afternoon, none other than my former colleague Kayvon, called me from 94.9 The Blaze to apologize for not calling me sooner. He explained that things had been very busy and he's had his mind in 15 different projects at once.
I can accept this since I've worked in radio all my young adult life and know how it can be. I still called him a bastard for not getting in touch with me. He then proceeded to call himself a "douche bag" on my behalf.
I've never felt he was a douche bag. I just had the feeling of being strung along over a part time position, you know? Shit like this has happened to me over FULL TIME positions more than once in my radio career and it really has put a damper on my spirits.
Anyway, this is all very surreal. At this moment in time I'm available to work weekends. And now, it would seem, I have two opportunities presenting themselves.
On the left hand, we have my colleague and program director of 94.9 The Blaze, Kayvon, who has reassured me that he will be calling me at the end of the week to make possible final arrangements for me to come on board at 94.9 The Blaze.
On the right hand, we have KPNZ Channel 24 also looking to possibly hire me to work as a master control operator on the weekends.
Shit.
NOW WHAT?!
This is a real pickle.
Oh, and, it would seem that many of you are almost close to pissed that I'm killing off my Mike The Janitor profile here on MySpace. You've all gained a special bond with good ol' Mike The Janitor and don't want him gone.
I'm wondering if Kayvon over there at 94.9 The Blaze doesn't want him gone, either? Kayvon? Are you reading my blogs here on MySpace secretly? Are my blogs a fun, guilty pleasure like the "Gilmore Girls" are for me? I've come to find out that my blogs are a guilty pleasure for some who prefer to not let me know they are reading them.
My ex-girlfriend, the Starbucks barista, used to read them and confessed to it. I don't believe she does anymore, though. But if she does, let me give a shout out "YO K.J.!"
My other ex-girlfriend, the born-again-Mormon-naughty-hottie-but-can-still-suck-a-mean-dick-and-fuck-like-there-is-no-tomorrow-and-gave-me-so-many-dirty-pictures-of-herself-via-her-camera-phone-I-have-great-masturbation-material-for-years-to-come Amanda, actually broke into my MySpace account when we were seeing each other so she could prove a point.
Clever girl.
She was also manipulative and a liar. But then again, so was I. But we made great friends naked. And, to be honest, if she were to show up at my door today, I'd STILL do her. I might even try to have another relationship with her. YEAH! I SAID IT! SO WHAT? I can't help it. I miss her sometimes. And her vagina, too. And her perky titties. And lips of an angel.
Man, I'm being so crude, huh? Oh well. I'm a man not thinking clearly because I'm having a dry spell. My backed up plumbing has seeped into my cranium and is causing adverse reactions and thought processes and random babbling and typing of words that just seem to go on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on like now for the love of God I can't stop typing right now my hands and mind are out of control!
Did I ever tell you of the countless times Amanda and I had sex? The girl was a horny redhead. We once nailed the hell out of each other in a movie theater during the film "Inside Man". I still giggle at that. Of all the movies to be pounding the flesh together in, it was "Inside Man". I took the film literally. So did she.
Is it hot in here?
I'm getting off track.
I have some great stories to share from my South Jordan job but it'll have to wait, peeps.
I'll give you a tease... one story involves me falling down, another involves me getting attacked by a dog, one involves my co-worker Paul almost throwing up and another involves me calling the South Jordan police.
All this and it's only Tuesday!
You know what? I'm a reality show for you people! How awesome is that?
I may still kill off Mike The Janitor, though.
Your MySpace Cyber Buddy,
Mike The Jordan Janitor or Mike The Janitor Jordan or Just Mike or His Royal Highness Mike or That Crazy Guy Mike or Ultra Douche Bag Mike or Mike Michael Mikey or Michael Jordan... uhhhhh...
MY GOD! Why didn't I think of that before? MICHAEL JORDAN! That is a great new screen name for me on my "Mike The Jordan" profile!
Maybe not.
Am I still typing? I really gotta lay off the keyboard, man. I have to take up some new vice like drugs or smoking or yodeling.
Yodeling? I'm going to bed. Good God.
-Mike The Janitor
©2007
Millenoma Publishing
3.11.2007
Mike's Top 20 + 20
Hmmmmmm... it would seem that I overlooked the fact I didn't post a "Mike's Top 20" list last weekend. My thanks to blog reader and Erie fan, Anthony, for pointing this out. Who knew people cared THAT much.
Actually, what he wrote was funny:
"Hey Mike! Tony here in Erie. Say listen, I know you were busy almost losing your apartment and all but do you think you could get back to doing up those music lists? I kinda like the fact you take the time to type shit like that out because it gives me a whole bunch of artists to listen to that I'm not familiar with. I totally dug the Monster Buck that you've been talking about. I also liked listening too the Weepies, David Grey (which totally made the girl I'm seeing like me that much more) and some of those hokey 70's artists like Player, Bread, 10cc and The Orleans. Good shit I had totally forgot about seeing how I'm 38. Keep up the lists so I can be exposed to different types of music because were living in the 50's here in good ol' Erie. They're playing this new artist here named Pat Boone. Ever heard of him? HA HA HA! Erie radio sucks with out you, man. I also don't think you should kill off Mike The Janitor because he's who you are. KEEP HIM!"
OK, Tony! My bad. As for "Mike The Janitor", he is still being put to death on St. Patricks Day. Sorry man. Time to let him go but his spirit will always live on and blah, blah, blah.
So, to make up for missing a week, I'll double up on my list and make it "Mike's Top 20 + 20". Or, simply, "Mike's Top 40".
Mike's Top 20 + 20 Songs:
20: Guster "Airport Song"
20: The Clash "White Riot"
19: John Cougar Mellencamp "Get A Leg Up"
19: DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince "You Saw My Blinker"
18: Brandon Rhyder "Between Here And The Front Door"
18: Hooverphonic "2 Wicky"
17: Michael Penn "Comfort"
17: Midnight Oil "In The Valley"
16: Mother May I "Meet You There"
16: Delbert McClinton "Lie No Better"
15: Skrape "Waste"
15: Nick Drake "Three Hours"
14: Gwen Stefani with Akon "The Sweet Escape"
14: Palo Alto "Breathe In"
13: Fatboy Slim "Santa Cruz"
13: Live "Nobody Knows"
12: Yes "Our Song"
12: R.E.M. "Finest Worksong"
11: Frank Black "Hang On To Your Ego"
11: The The "Infected"
10: The Doobie Brothers "Rockin' Down The Highway"
10: Earth, Wind & Fire "Serpentine Fire"
09: Cutting Crew "I Just Died In Your Arms Tonight"
09: Justin Timberlake "Senorita"
08: Molly Hatchet "Flirtin' With Disaster"
08: La Bouche "Be My Lover"
07: Mims "This Is Why I'm Hot"
07: Fall Out Boy "This Ain't A Scene, It's An Arms Race"
06: Tom Petty & THe Heartbreakers "Runnin' Down A Dream"
06: Christina Aguilera "Candyman"
05: Fergie featuring Ludacris "Glamorous"
05: The Black Eyed Peas "Let's Get Retarded" (Yes, the ORIGINAL song and lyrics)
04: Sarah McLachlan "Good Enough (acoustic)"
04: Nickelback "If Everyone Cared"
03: Chevelle "Send The Pain Below"
03: Orbit "Why You Won't"
02: Tracy Bonham "Mother, Mother"
02: Caroline Spine "Work Song"
01: Bill Withers "Use Me"
01: Rob Zombie "Scum Of The Earth"
-Mike The Janitor
©2007
Millenoma Publishing
Actually, what he wrote was funny:
"Hey Mike! Tony here in Erie. Say listen, I know you were busy almost losing your apartment and all but do you think you could get back to doing up those music lists? I kinda like the fact you take the time to type shit like that out because it gives me a whole bunch of artists to listen to that I'm not familiar with. I totally dug the Monster Buck that you've been talking about. I also liked listening too the Weepies, David Grey (which totally made the girl I'm seeing like me that much more) and some of those hokey 70's artists like Player, Bread, 10cc and The Orleans. Good shit I had totally forgot about seeing how I'm 38. Keep up the lists so I can be exposed to different types of music because were living in the 50's here in good ol' Erie. They're playing this new artist here named Pat Boone. Ever heard of him? HA HA HA! Erie radio sucks with out you, man. I also don't think you should kill off Mike The Janitor because he's who you are. KEEP HIM!"
OK, Tony! My bad. As for "Mike The Janitor", he is still being put to death on St. Patricks Day. Sorry man. Time to let him go but his spirit will always live on and blah, blah, blah.
So, to make up for missing a week, I'll double up on my list and make it "Mike's Top 20 + 20". Or, simply, "Mike's Top 40".
Mike's Top 20 + 20 Songs:
20: Guster "Airport Song"
20: The Clash "White Riot"
19: John Cougar Mellencamp "Get A Leg Up"
19: DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince "You Saw My Blinker"
18: Brandon Rhyder "Between Here And The Front Door"
18: Hooverphonic "2 Wicky"
17: Michael Penn "Comfort"
17: Midnight Oil "In The Valley"
16: Mother May I "Meet You There"
16: Delbert McClinton "Lie No Better"
15: Skrape "Waste"
15: Nick Drake "Three Hours"
14: Gwen Stefani with Akon "The Sweet Escape"
14: Palo Alto "Breathe In"
13: Fatboy Slim "Santa Cruz"
13: Live "Nobody Knows"
12: Yes "Our Song"
12: R.E.M. "Finest Worksong"
11: Frank Black "Hang On To Your Ego"
11: The The "Infected"
10: The Doobie Brothers "Rockin' Down The Highway"
10: Earth, Wind & Fire "Serpentine Fire"
09: Cutting Crew "I Just Died In Your Arms Tonight"
09: Justin Timberlake "Senorita"
08: Molly Hatchet "Flirtin' With Disaster"
08: La Bouche "Be My Lover"
07: Mims "This Is Why I'm Hot"
07: Fall Out Boy "This Ain't A Scene, It's An Arms Race"
06: Tom Petty & THe Heartbreakers "Runnin' Down A Dream"
06: Christina Aguilera "Candyman"
05: Fergie featuring Ludacris "Glamorous"
05: The Black Eyed Peas "Let's Get Retarded" (Yes, the ORIGINAL song and lyrics)
04: Sarah McLachlan "Good Enough (acoustic)"
04: Nickelback "If Everyone Cared"
03: Chevelle "Send The Pain Below"
03: Orbit "Why You Won't"
02: Tracy Bonham "Mother, Mother"
02: Caroline Spine "Work Song"
01: Bill Withers "Use Me"
01: Rob Zombie "Scum Of The Earth"
-Mike The Janitor
©2007
Millenoma Publishing
"PREPARE FOR GLORY!"
It's been a while since I've been to a movie. The last film I saw was "The Departed" with my buddy Dennis.
Earlier today, I went with Dennis and his son to see "300". I've been excited for this film since I saw a preview for it during the summer of last year.
As a matter a fact, I've found the marketing for this film to be outside the norm. You'll notice they never promote the actors in the film whatsoever. That's because Warner Bros. (the main financiers of this movie) were trying to make a film that would be more of a hit in the foreign market than domestically.
The biggest selling point in marketing this film was the fact it was based on a graphic novel by Frank Miller (creator of "Sin City" which is a FANTASTIC film) and loosely based on an actual event where 300 Spartans took on a legion of 250,000 Persian soldiers in 480 B.C.
How do I know all of this? I read. Well, I read "Entertainment Weekly" which did a story on the makings of "300".
Many studio executives were worried that they would have another flop like "Troy", "Alexander" or "Kingdom Of Heaven". So they decided to make it more of a generic type epic movie than clutter the marketing with big name stars.
I feel this approach worked. At least it did for me. Just the simple images of some of the action scenes from this film were enough to entice me when I saw the preview.
But not just the scenes but the colors and images themselves. It reminded a lot of the grainy, harshness of "Sin City" and it's different visual appeal. "300" is fantastic in this regard. It's a movie worth seeing a couple of times in the theater.
The story line is pretty standard, actually. It's similar to "Gladiator" in many respects. But I have to say the acting was excellent. These are all actors I'm not familiar with and was amazed by their performances.
The lead actor who plays King Leonidas (who is the person that leads the 300 Spartans to battle), Gerard Butler, carries this movie very well. He is a strong figure and an excellent choice in the casting of this role.
This movie could also be appealing to women because of the King's wife, Queen Gorgo, who is a strong figure in this movie as well.
There is a great line from her in the beginning of the movie when a messenger comes to warn the Spartans of the Persian invasion and they should negotiate for their livelihood.
As the Queen speaks up for her people, as well as the King, the messenger becomes greatly offended and asks of the King why he allows his Queen to speak.
She quickly snaps back that: "Spartan women are the creators of great men!"
This really pisses off the messenger and gets a good laugh from the audience.
This is a bloody, brutal, violent and vivid movie. I enjoyed it very much and thought that it was, in some ways, a metaphor that we as an American people need to be stronger and more together as one. I also felt there was a metaphor in there regarding President Bush and the war in Iraq.
Ironically, when I got home from seeing "300", I read this article on the movie in "Entertainment Weekly". It seems that many critics felt the same way.
However, President Bush is NO King Leonidas. But our troops fighting for our freedom in wars oversees are definitely our version of Spartans.
-Mike The Janitor
©2007
Millenoma Publishing
Earlier today, I went with Dennis and his son to see "300". I've been excited for this film since I saw a preview for it during the summer of last year.
As a matter a fact, I've found the marketing for this film to be outside the norm. You'll notice they never promote the actors in the film whatsoever. That's because Warner Bros. (the main financiers of this movie) were trying to make a film that would be more of a hit in the foreign market than domestically.
The biggest selling point in marketing this film was the fact it was based on a graphic novel by Frank Miller (creator of "Sin City" which is a FANTASTIC film) and loosely based on an actual event where 300 Spartans took on a legion of 250,000 Persian soldiers in 480 B.C.
How do I know all of this? I read. Well, I read "Entertainment Weekly" which did a story on the makings of "300".
Many studio executives were worried that they would have another flop like "Troy", "Alexander" or "Kingdom Of Heaven". So they decided to make it more of a generic type epic movie than clutter the marketing with big name stars.
I feel this approach worked. At least it did for me. Just the simple images of some of the action scenes from this film were enough to entice me when I saw the preview.
But not just the scenes but the colors and images themselves. It reminded a lot of the grainy, harshness of "Sin City" and it's different visual appeal. "300" is fantastic in this regard. It's a movie worth seeing a couple of times in the theater.
The story line is pretty standard, actually. It's similar to "Gladiator" in many respects. But I have to say the acting was excellent. These are all actors I'm not familiar with and was amazed by their performances.
The lead actor who plays King Leonidas (who is the person that leads the 300 Spartans to battle), Gerard Butler, carries this movie very well. He is a strong figure and an excellent choice in the casting of this role.
This movie could also be appealing to women because of the King's wife, Queen Gorgo, who is a strong figure in this movie as well.
There is a great line from her in the beginning of the movie when a messenger comes to warn the Spartans of the Persian invasion and they should negotiate for their livelihood.
As the Queen speaks up for her people, as well as the King, the messenger becomes greatly offended and asks of the King why he allows his Queen to speak.
She quickly snaps back that: "Spartan women are the creators of great men!"
This really pisses off the messenger and gets a good laugh from the audience.
This is a bloody, brutal, violent and vivid movie. I enjoyed it very much and thought that it was, in some ways, a metaphor that we as an American people need to be stronger and more together as one. I also felt there was a metaphor in there regarding President Bush and the war in Iraq.
Ironically, when I got home from seeing "300", I read this article on the movie in "Entertainment Weekly". It seems that many critics felt the same way.
However, President Bush is NO King Leonidas. But our troops fighting for our freedom in wars oversees are definitely our version of Spartans.
-Mike The Janitor
©2007
Millenoma Publishing
3.10.2007
The first week of the rest of my life
*sigh* OK, I'm hurting. Well, "hurting" wouldn't be the right term. Achy is more like it. But my first week as the newly hired Parks Maintenance Worker for the City of South Jordan was good times!
I finished out my week aerating park strips and land around City Hall. Park strips are pieces of land that you'll see everywhere. They run along the length of streets between the curb and sidewalk edge.
Like most cities, South Jordan has many of these that need to be aerated. Some are maintained by the city but many others are taken care of by homeowners or private landscaping firms contracted by the home developers.
Aeration is the system of going over the lawn with an aerator and poking holes in the lawn to help it breathe and get nutrition from water and fertilizers. In case you're not sure what an aerator is, it's a motorized machine (like a lawn mower or tiller) that has a roller with hollow metal tines that stick out of it.
The aerator is self propelled but can be hard to maneuver. The roller with the hollow metal tines rolls into the lawn and pokes holes into the soil. You can always tell when a lawn has been aerated because the little chunks of soil that get poked out are always laying all over the lawn. They look like little corks.
Over the past two days, I think myself and Rhonda (the young lady I've been training with in this area of Parks Maintenance) did around two acres of collective land (if not more) aerating park strips and City Hall.
You really feel it at the end of the day. I especially felt it in my inner thighs, of all places. The reason for that is the fact that as you're going along, you have to avoid hitting things like trees, streetlights, manholes, etc.
So you need to be quick to dart around to the left or the right as you're walking along. Sometimes there are some obstructions that you can't get around so you have to stop and pick the aerator up to go around.
Rhonda and myself switch off of the aerating duties because it can wear you out. To give you an idea of the land we have to cover (for those of you from the area and familiar with South Jordan, you can picture this), one area of park strips we maintain is the length of 10600 South. We go from 1600 West to I-15 on both the North and South sides of the road.
One of us will drive the truck and trailer we use to haul around the aerator and tools to the pick up point. While the other walks from the drop off point to the pick up point with the aerator. And on that particular stretch of road I mentioned, that's a few miles.
There is a lot of walking involved with aerating. Of course, there will be plenty of walking when I go back to these same areas to mow and trim these park strips. Not to mention all the parks in South Jordan and City Hall.
If I think I'm hurting now, just wait until we get into mowing. That happens within a week or so.
Next week I get to go to some of the parks in South Jordan and use a tractor to aerate those lawns. That'll be fun! You just cruise around, back and forth, aerating the lawn.
With the park strips, you have to use the hand aerator because they're too small to accommodate a tractor and there are normally trees every ten feet that you have to get around.
Anyway, you get the idea.
During this first week of my new life and career, I thought long and hard about my previous life in radio. I came to the decision to delete my "DJ Mike The Janitor" profile because it's just not needed anymore.
I know I've said in the past that I was done with radio and then changed my mind and said I was going to get back into it. Well, if I was really going to get back into it, I would have done it by now.
A couple of you have written to me asking about the part time radio gig I interviewed for on my birthday (February 21st).
Well, I never did hear back from the guy I talked to. And to be honest, I don't think I'm going to, either. If he was serious about bringing me on board, he would have had me fill out the hiring paperwork while I was there. He also hasn't returned any of my calls since I met with him.
It's too bad because I was really looking forward to working for 94.9 The Blaze. The irony of me going back to work on the signal that helped me gain the name "Mike The Janitor" would have been a perfect way to get my foot back in the door in that business.
Instead, I'm focused and determined to make something of myself in the realms of city government. This is a big deal and the possibilities are endless for where I could move up to in the coming years.
So, my cyber buddies, say goodbye to Mike The Janitor. I'm done with that life. If something happens part time for me here in Salt Lake and works with my schedule, I'll gladly do it. But I know that it isn't anything that I'm interested in pursuing full time anymore.
For those of you that are reading this on my "DJ Mike The Janitor" profile and would like to be a friend on my "Mike The Jordan" profile, please feel free to add me. Otherwise, you'll be erased with the profile. And we don't want that, do we? So use the link provided below to add me to your friend list as the person I am now.
Mike The Janitor has become a distant memory and there is no reason for me to keep the profile up.
But I would like to thank all of you that have been friends and fans over the years. I truly appreciate the support and will always be grateful for the people I've come to know over the years. I have some great, wonderful memories and will always cherish them.
I would like to give a special heartfelt "thank you" to my fan base in Erie, Pennsylvania that STILL stay in touch with me to this day. It's been *GASP* five years since my time there. Five years... Jesus Christ... it seems like only yesterday.
I'm giving you all a week to transfer from Mike The Janitor to Mike The Jordan. After that time, I'll have a cyber funeral for Mike The Janitor and cast his cyber ashes to the wind to join my friend Nick Danger.
Get your goodbyes in order so that MySpace can recycle the DJ Mike The Janitor server space so that some ditzy teenager can use it to express themselves in some annoying way like pimping their page with way too much graphics and audio that will surely make anyone's computer crash.
Wow, that was such a run on sentence there.
In case you're wondering, I'm going to miss Mike The Janitor, too.
-Mike The Janitor
©2007
Millenoma Publishing
I finished out my week aerating park strips and land around City Hall. Park strips are pieces of land that you'll see everywhere. They run along the length of streets between the curb and sidewalk edge.
Like most cities, South Jordan has many of these that need to be aerated. Some are maintained by the city but many others are taken care of by homeowners or private landscaping firms contracted by the home developers.
Aeration is the system of going over the lawn with an aerator and poking holes in the lawn to help it breathe and get nutrition from water and fertilizers. In case you're not sure what an aerator is, it's a motorized machine (like a lawn mower or tiller) that has a roller with hollow metal tines that stick out of it.
The aerator is self propelled but can be hard to maneuver. The roller with the hollow metal tines rolls into the lawn and pokes holes into the soil. You can always tell when a lawn has been aerated because the little chunks of soil that get poked out are always laying all over the lawn. They look like little corks.
Over the past two days, I think myself and Rhonda (the young lady I've been training with in this area of Parks Maintenance) did around two acres of collective land (if not more) aerating park strips and City Hall.
You really feel it at the end of the day. I especially felt it in my inner thighs, of all places. The reason for that is the fact that as you're going along, you have to avoid hitting things like trees, streetlights, manholes, etc.
So you need to be quick to dart around to the left or the right as you're walking along. Sometimes there are some obstructions that you can't get around so you have to stop and pick the aerator up to go around.
Rhonda and myself switch off of the aerating duties because it can wear you out. To give you an idea of the land we have to cover (for those of you from the area and familiar with South Jordan, you can picture this), one area of park strips we maintain is the length of 10600 South. We go from 1600 West to I-15 on both the North and South sides of the road.
One of us will drive the truck and trailer we use to haul around the aerator and tools to the pick up point. While the other walks from the drop off point to the pick up point with the aerator. And on that particular stretch of road I mentioned, that's a few miles.
There is a lot of walking involved with aerating. Of course, there will be plenty of walking when I go back to these same areas to mow and trim these park strips. Not to mention all the parks in South Jordan and City Hall.
If I think I'm hurting now, just wait until we get into mowing. That happens within a week or so.
Next week I get to go to some of the parks in South Jordan and use a tractor to aerate those lawns. That'll be fun! You just cruise around, back and forth, aerating the lawn.
With the park strips, you have to use the hand aerator because they're too small to accommodate a tractor and there are normally trees every ten feet that you have to get around.
Anyway, you get the idea.
During this first week of my new life and career, I thought long and hard about my previous life in radio. I came to the decision to delete my "DJ Mike The Janitor" profile because it's just not needed anymore.
I know I've said in the past that I was done with radio and then changed my mind and said I was going to get back into it. Well, if I was really going to get back into it, I would have done it by now.
A couple of you have written to me asking about the part time radio gig I interviewed for on my birthday (February 21st).
Well, I never did hear back from the guy I talked to. And to be honest, I don't think I'm going to, either. If he was serious about bringing me on board, he would have had me fill out the hiring paperwork while I was there. He also hasn't returned any of my calls since I met with him.
It's too bad because I was really looking forward to working for 94.9 The Blaze. The irony of me going back to work on the signal that helped me gain the name "Mike The Janitor" would have been a perfect way to get my foot back in the door in that business.
Instead, I'm focused and determined to make something of myself in the realms of city government. This is a big deal and the possibilities are endless for where I could move up to in the coming years.
So, my cyber buddies, say goodbye to Mike The Janitor. I'm done with that life. If something happens part time for me here in Salt Lake and works with my schedule, I'll gladly do it. But I know that it isn't anything that I'm interested in pursuing full time anymore.
For those of you that are reading this on my "DJ Mike The Janitor" profile and would like to be a friend on my "Mike The Jordan" profile, please feel free to add me. Otherwise, you'll be erased with the profile. And we don't want that, do we? So use the link provided below to add me to your friend list as the person I am now.
Mike The Janitor has become a distant memory and there is no reason for me to keep the profile up.
But I would like to thank all of you that have been friends and fans over the years. I truly appreciate the support and will always be grateful for the people I've come to know over the years. I have some great, wonderful memories and will always cherish them.
I would like to give a special heartfelt "thank you" to my fan base in Erie, Pennsylvania that STILL stay in touch with me to this day. It's been *GASP* five years since my time there. Five years... Jesus Christ... it seems like only yesterday.
I'm giving you all a week to transfer from Mike The Janitor to Mike The Jordan. After that time, I'll have a cyber funeral for Mike The Janitor and cast his cyber ashes to the wind to join my friend Nick Danger.
Get your goodbyes in order so that MySpace can recycle the DJ Mike The Janitor server space so that some ditzy teenager can use it to express themselves in some annoying way like pimping their page with way too much graphics and audio that will surely make anyone's computer crash.
Wow, that was such a run on sentence there.
In case you're wondering, I'm going to miss Mike The Janitor, too.
-Mike The Janitor
©2007
Millenoma Publishing
3.07.2007
A body, a sidewalk, a bicycle rack and a sign
So, let's touch base here, my cyber buddies. I have to apologize that I haven't been blogging for a bit. My weekend was very stressful because I came THIS CLOSE *holds thumb and pointer finger about an inch apart from each other* from losing my apartment.
You know what I did? I did the ol' power of positive thinking! I told myself it wouldn't happen. I thought about what I could do to change my situation. I decided to put forth every effort to sell off everything I own.
As some of you may have seen over the weekend, I posted a blog advertising some items I had for sale. Of course, none of you came through for me but that's besides the point. I get it that you're all here to enjoy reading about my misery. It makes for some great entertainment.
Actually, I can't really be bitter about it at all because I put myself in this situation, not you.
Even though no blog readers of mine on MySpace expressed interest in what I had for sale, several buyers did on a television station website here in Salt Lake known as KSL. In case you're ever in town (if you don't live here presently) they're at channel 5 on your VHF dial.
Anyway, KSL's website has an area where you can post free classifieds. It's like E-Bay but without all the bullshit fees. It's a fun cyber yard sale. If you live in Utah and are clueless to this cool feature on their website, check it out at KSL Classifieds
Within a couple of days of getting a payday loan (which I HAD to do... don't ever do this yourselves if you can avoid it), I received a few phone calls about my surround sound/DVD system, 27" television, Sony digital 8MM camcorder and my iPod.
The iPod and camcorder went for $150 a piece. I still have the TV and surround sound/DVD system to sell. But I have some potential buyers in line for those, hopefully.
Anyway, I was able to make my rent and then some. I did this by telling myself I wasn't going to start my new career and life with stress or worry over something like this. And just like that, everything fell into place.
I think... wait, NO... I AM going to keep smiling and doing my best to remain positive when times are tough.
My first day on the job with the City of South Jordan was this past Monday, March 5th. I went in at 8:00 AM for my orientation. I dressed casual and figured I probably spend the day going over a multitude of paperwork, safety videos, operating procedures and everything that comes with a standard new hire orientation.
Turns out that my orientation was only a couple of hours and after that, they sent me to work. Problem was, I wasn't really dressed to get dirty. Nor did I have on the proper footwear for my kind of job requirements.
Luckily, my boss gave me a bunch of t-shirts, a hat, a coat and a hoodie. All of them have the South Jordan logo stitched on the front. I changed my shirt and put on one of my new gray work shirts.
Around lunch, I drove home to change my boots since one of my first assignments was to help prep a site for a new sidewalk. This included putting up these things called "forms" that run along the length of either side on the sidewalk.
The forms are basically these flat pieces of metal that hold the cement in place when it's poured. They have to be straight and level. They also have to be spiked into the ground so that they can hold the weight of the concrete and, in a sense, FORM the sidewalk. I'm assuming that's where the term comes from.
Can you tell I don't know a goddamn thing about concrete work? Well, I do now.
Where the sidewalk is going was just grass. But so many people were using this particular area as a walkway, the city decided it might be a good idea to put in a sidewalk.
This required pulling up and digging out sod and dirt to put in the forms and pour the concrete. This is what I did on my first day.
I also went to the city cemetery to help in prepping a grave for a burial the next day. This is interesting how this is all done. We go in with a map of the cemetery and the plot location.
When then find a marker in conjunction with that particular area. From there we measure certain distances to locate where we'll dig the grave. Since I've only done this the one time, I can't recall the measurements that take us from point A to point B. But the land is already pre-measured and planned out with the amount of graves per square area.
A square area consists of eight plots. Each plot is four feet wide by eight feet long. As a buffer zone at the sides and foot and head of each plot is about a foot of space, I think.
Is this making any sense? It's involves a bit of math and a calculator in order to do it correctly. Otherwise you'll dig the grave in the wrong area. Apparently, this has happened.
Once you identify the correct burial plot, you bring in the backhoe and dump truck. Using the backhoe, you dig down around six feet. The first load of dirt in the dump truck is discarded.
The second load of dirt is kept to use to cover the vault once the burial has happened. After digging the plot out, we cover it with large, thick sheets of plastic. Afterwards, the company hired to provide the vault will come out and lower a concrete tomb (vault) into the freshly dug plot hole.
The vault company (under contract by whatever funeral home is providing services) will also set up a tent, chairs and sound system for the final burial services. This is all arranged and paid for by the bereaved in their funeral costs.
The prepping of the grave site and final burial by the South Jordan Parks Maintenance department is paid for by the individuals who purchase plots through the City of South Jordan in the South Jordan City Cemetery.
More on the cemetery later.
After the plot was dug, my co-workers and I went back to getting the sidewalk ready. Not only were we getting ready to put in a sidewalk, we also needed to dig an area for a bike rack in front of the skate park.
I spent the rest of the day getting the area for the bike rack and sidewalk ready for the concrete.
On Tuesday, I went into work and met a couple of co-workers whom I had yet to meet yet. Everyone on the Parks Maintenance crew is very friendly and helpful. On the team there is James (our boss), Kelly, Mike, Kim, Rhonda, Paul, Alan, Troy, John and a couple of others whose names I've forgot... my bad.
Tuesday consisted of finishing up and double checking the sidewalk and bicycle rack area for the concrete pour. By noon, Paul and myself went back to the cemetery to await the funeral of the deceased we had to bury.
It turns out that under NO circumstances is a burial site to be left unattended. It is our duty to stand by and wait until the funeral is over (out of site, of course) and then move in and finish burial services.
Now, it's not what you see on television or in movies, cyber buddies. I've never been to a full on funeral before so this is all very new to me. For those of you that have been to a funeral (I'm sorry for your loss), you know that it's sad and overwhelming.
When my close friend Nick passed away, there was just a memorial for him in Reno. There was no funeral for me or anyone else that knew him could attend.
To be honest, I really wish there had been. It would have helped a bit on closure with his death. Instead, he was cremated and his ashes, to my knowledge, were scattered over the Red Rocks in Colorado.
Watching this funeral, it hit me that I would soon be burying a body. It was surreal to me for a brief moment of time.
Paul and myself watched the funeral procession come in. The hearse followed by many, many people coming to pay their final respects. It was a very large crowd at this service. This woman who passed on was well known, respected and loved.
The woman was 45. Actually, she had just turned 45 in December. December 26th, to be exact. The day after Christmas.
She died after succumbing to cancer.
The service went for about an hour. Paul and I sat there watching and waiting while getting to know one another. Inside myself, I felt sad for these people and the death of this person whom I did not know.
It was odd sitting there watching this funeral from a distance. I don't know exactly how to describe how I felt.
When the funeral was over and the crowd had left, we made our way into the cemetery with our dump truck. Also on hand was the vault company to come in and put the top on the vault upon lowering the casket into the vault.
As I pointed out, it isn't like what you'd see on television or the big screen. For my first funeral, I had the opportunity to work with the deceased casket up close and personal.
At this particular service, when the casket was removed from the hearse, it was placed onto a stand that is over the open plot. The plot is dressed with green felt sheets by the vault company to make it look nice.
Paul and I assisted the vault guy in strapping the casket and removing the stand from underneath the casket so it could be lowered into the concrete vault in the open plot.
Sometimes, depending on the budget of whomever is paying for the funeral services, there will be a lowering system put in place by the vault company so that the priest can lower the casket into the vault during services. But in most cases, caskets are put onto a stand over the open plot.
Just for clarification, caskets ARE NOT just put in the ground. I didn't know this. They are placed inside a concrete tomb that is placed in the hole that we dig. That concrete tomb is prefabricated and delivered to the burial site by the afore mentioned vault company.
When a funeral is over, the vault company is also standing by to put the top on the concrete tomb and remove whatever set-up has been put in place for the final services.
Once the vault company has topped off the vault and gotten out of the way, we move in with our dump truck and fill in the plot with the dirt we dug out the day before. We pack it down and then place the flower arrangements over the grave site. Later we'll go back and cover the grave site with fresh sod.
That finished out my Tuesday.
Then today I went in ready for a whole new experience of helping pour concrete. Let me tell you, I have a whole new appreciation for sidewalks and concrete. That is some hard work.
We had a little over seven yards of sidewalk to lay and a 11' by 4' section to do for the bike rack area by the skate park.
The cement truck showed up right on time at 9:00 AM. To make this project happen were Kelly, Paul, Mike and myself. I hate being the new guy. Especially when it comes to being the new guy who has NO IDEA what the fuck to do.
After a quick crash course in concrete tools and how we were going to work, the cement truck started dumping cement into our sidewalk area.
Kelly was operating a piece of equipment known as a "skeed". The skeed is a motorized piece of machinery that vibrates. As the cement truck pukes out cement BEHIND Kelly, Kelly pulls the skeed on top of the forms we had put in over the past two days as a way to guide the skeed. Sort of like a train on train tracks.
Kelly pulls the skeed while walking backwards through the concrete being poured. The vibrations from the skeed help settle the concrete and push the rocks in the cement mix to the bottom of the concrete while providing a creamy, thick mix of concrete on top.
Once done with the skeed, we all work together and level out the wet concrete. THIS IS HARD! And you have to be fairly quick because the concrete, depending on weather conditions, can settle quick.
While Mike finished up doing a quick run through on the sidewalk, we followed the cement truck over to the skate park area and did the same with the smaller section for the bicycle rack.
After leveling out the concrete, you need to go over it again and smooth it out. Then you need to go over it again and do the edges. Then you go over it again and put in the lines you see in sidewalks every ten feet.
There is a term for this but I can't remember it! DAMN!
Then you go over it AGAIN and make sure it's smoothed out and fairly level. Once everything looks good, you brush the the concrete with a special broom to give it a nice textured look.
We also had to insert the bike rack into the concrete we laid near the skate park and make sure that was level and stable.
I then finished out my day putting up a sign that was taken down to make room for the forms we laid for the new sidewalk.
This is everything I've learned and done in just three days. These projects don't even scratch the surface of everything else I'm going to learn and do with this new career of mine. It's truly an amazing job with many, MANY responsibilities.
This is it. This is what I do. This is who I am.
I'm excited by this new adventure in my life and I'm proud of myself for getting here.
-Mike The Janitor
©2007
Millenoma Publishing
You know what I did? I did the ol' power of positive thinking! I told myself it wouldn't happen. I thought about what I could do to change my situation. I decided to put forth every effort to sell off everything I own.
As some of you may have seen over the weekend, I posted a blog advertising some items I had for sale. Of course, none of you came through for me but that's besides the point. I get it that you're all here to enjoy reading about my misery. It makes for some great entertainment.
Actually, I can't really be bitter about it at all because I put myself in this situation, not you.
Even though no blog readers of mine on MySpace expressed interest in what I had for sale, several buyers did on a television station website here in Salt Lake known as KSL. In case you're ever in town (if you don't live here presently) they're at channel 5 on your VHF dial.
Anyway, KSL's website has an area where you can post free classifieds. It's like E-Bay but without all the bullshit fees. It's a fun cyber yard sale. If you live in Utah and are clueless to this cool feature on their website, check it out at KSL Classifieds
Within a couple of days of getting a payday loan (which I HAD to do... don't ever do this yourselves if you can avoid it), I received a few phone calls about my surround sound/DVD system, 27" television, Sony digital 8MM camcorder and my iPod.
The iPod and camcorder went for $150 a piece. I still have the TV and surround sound/DVD system to sell. But I have some potential buyers in line for those, hopefully.
Anyway, I was able to make my rent and then some. I did this by telling myself I wasn't going to start my new career and life with stress or worry over something like this. And just like that, everything fell into place.
I think... wait, NO... I AM going to keep smiling and doing my best to remain positive when times are tough.
My first day on the job with the City of South Jordan was this past Monday, March 5th. I went in at 8:00 AM for my orientation. I dressed casual and figured I probably spend the day going over a multitude of paperwork, safety videos, operating procedures and everything that comes with a standard new hire orientation.
Turns out that my orientation was only a couple of hours and after that, they sent me to work. Problem was, I wasn't really dressed to get dirty. Nor did I have on the proper footwear for my kind of job requirements.
Luckily, my boss gave me a bunch of t-shirts, a hat, a coat and a hoodie. All of them have the South Jordan logo stitched on the front. I changed my shirt and put on one of my new gray work shirts.
Around lunch, I drove home to change my boots since one of my first assignments was to help prep a site for a new sidewalk. This included putting up these things called "forms" that run along the length of either side on the sidewalk.
The forms are basically these flat pieces of metal that hold the cement in place when it's poured. They have to be straight and level. They also have to be spiked into the ground so that they can hold the weight of the concrete and, in a sense, FORM the sidewalk. I'm assuming that's where the term comes from.
Can you tell I don't know a goddamn thing about concrete work? Well, I do now.
Where the sidewalk is going was just grass. But so many people were using this particular area as a walkway, the city decided it might be a good idea to put in a sidewalk.
This required pulling up and digging out sod and dirt to put in the forms and pour the concrete. This is what I did on my first day.
I also went to the city cemetery to help in prepping a grave for a burial the next day. This is interesting how this is all done. We go in with a map of the cemetery and the plot location.
When then find a marker in conjunction with that particular area. From there we measure certain distances to locate where we'll dig the grave. Since I've only done this the one time, I can't recall the measurements that take us from point A to point B. But the land is already pre-measured and planned out with the amount of graves per square area.
A square area consists of eight plots. Each plot is four feet wide by eight feet long. As a buffer zone at the sides and foot and head of each plot is about a foot of space, I think.
Is this making any sense? It's involves a bit of math and a calculator in order to do it correctly. Otherwise you'll dig the grave in the wrong area. Apparently, this has happened.
Once you identify the correct burial plot, you bring in the backhoe and dump truck. Using the backhoe, you dig down around six feet. The first load of dirt in the dump truck is discarded.
The second load of dirt is kept to use to cover the vault once the burial has happened. After digging the plot out, we cover it with large, thick sheets of plastic. Afterwards, the company hired to provide the vault will come out and lower a concrete tomb (vault) into the freshly dug plot hole.
The vault company (under contract by whatever funeral home is providing services) will also set up a tent, chairs and sound system for the final burial services. This is all arranged and paid for by the bereaved in their funeral costs.
The prepping of the grave site and final burial by the South Jordan Parks Maintenance department is paid for by the individuals who purchase plots through the City of South Jordan in the South Jordan City Cemetery.
More on the cemetery later.
After the plot was dug, my co-workers and I went back to getting the sidewalk ready. Not only were we getting ready to put in a sidewalk, we also needed to dig an area for a bike rack in front of the skate park.
I spent the rest of the day getting the area for the bike rack and sidewalk ready for the concrete.
On Tuesday, I went into work and met a couple of co-workers whom I had yet to meet yet. Everyone on the Parks Maintenance crew is very friendly and helpful. On the team there is James (our boss), Kelly, Mike, Kim, Rhonda, Paul, Alan, Troy, John and a couple of others whose names I've forgot... my bad.
Tuesday consisted of finishing up and double checking the sidewalk and bicycle rack area for the concrete pour. By noon, Paul and myself went back to the cemetery to await the funeral of the deceased we had to bury.
It turns out that under NO circumstances is a burial site to be left unattended. It is our duty to stand by and wait until the funeral is over (out of site, of course) and then move in and finish burial services.
Now, it's not what you see on television or in movies, cyber buddies. I've never been to a full on funeral before so this is all very new to me. For those of you that have been to a funeral (I'm sorry for your loss), you know that it's sad and overwhelming.
When my close friend Nick passed away, there was just a memorial for him in Reno. There was no funeral for me or anyone else that knew him could attend.
To be honest, I really wish there had been. It would have helped a bit on closure with his death. Instead, he was cremated and his ashes, to my knowledge, were scattered over the Red Rocks in Colorado.
Watching this funeral, it hit me that I would soon be burying a body. It was surreal to me for a brief moment of time.
Paul and myself watched the funeral procession come in. The hearse followed by many, many people coming to pay their final respects. It was a very large crowd at this service. This woman who passed on was well known, respected and loved.
The woman was 45. Actually, she had just turned 45 in December. December 26th, to be exact. The day after Christmas.
She died after succumbing to cancer.
The service went for about an hour. Paul and I sat there watching and waiting while getting to know one another. Inside myself, I felt sad for these people and the death of this person whom I did not know.
It was odd sitting there watching this funeral from a distance. I don't know exactly how to describe how I felt.
When the funeral was over and the crowd had left, we made our way into the cemetery with our dump truck. Also on hand was the vault company to come in and put the top on the vault upon lowering the casket into the vault.
As I pointed out, it isn't like what you'd see on television or the big screen. For my first funeral, I had the opportunity to work with the deceased casket up close and personal.
At this particular service, when the casket was removed from the hearse, it was placed onto a stand that is over the open plot. The plot is dressed with green felt sheets by the vault company to make it look nice.
Paul and I assisted the vault guy in strapping the casket and removing the stand from underneath the casket so it could be lowered into the concrete vault in the open plot.
Sometimes, depending on the budget of whomever is paying for the funeral services, there will be a lowering system put in place by the vault company so that the priest can lower the casket into the vault during services. But in most cases, caskets are put onto a stand over the open plot.
Just for clarification, caskets ARE NOT just put in the ground. I didn't know this. They are placed inside a concrete tomb that is placed in the hole that we dig. That concrete tomb is prefabricated and delivered to the burial site by the afore mentioned vault company.
When a funeral is over, the vault company is also standing by to put the top on the concrete tomb and remove whatever set-up has been put in place for the final services.
Once the vault company has topped off the vault and gotten out of the way, we move in with our dump truck and fill in the plot with the dirt we dug out the day before. We pack it down and then place the flower arrangements over the grave site. Later we'll go back and cover the grave site with fresh sod.
That finished out my Tuesday.
Then today I went in ready for a whole new experience of helping pour concrete. Let me tell you, I have a whole new appreciation for sidewalks and concrete. That is some hard work.
We had a little over seven yards of sidewalk to lay and a 11' by 4' section to do for the bike rack area by the skate park.
The cement truck showed up right on time at 9:00 AM. To make this project happen were Kelly, Paul, Mike and myself. I hate being the new guy. Especially when it comes to being the new guy who has NO IDEA what the fuck to do.
After a quick crash course in concrete tools and how we were going to work, the cement truck started dumping cement into our sidewalk area.
Kelly was operating a piece of equipment known as a "skeed". The skeed is a motorized piece of machinery that vibrates. As the cement truck pukes out cement BEHIND Kelly, Kelly pulls the skeed on top of the forms we had put in over the past two days as a way to guide the skeed. Sort of like a train on train tracks.
Kelly pulls the skeed while walking backwards through the concrete being poured. The vibrations from the skeed help settle the concrete and push the rocks in the cement mix to the bottom of the concrete while providing a creamy, thick mix of concrete on top.
Once done with the skeed, we all work together and level out the wet concrete. THIS IS HARD! And you have to be fairly quick because the concrete, depending on weather conditions, can settle quick.
While Mike finished up doing a quick run through on the sidewalk, we followed the cement truck over to the skate park area and did the same with the smaller section for the bicycle rack.
After leveling out the concrete, you need to go over it again and smooth it out. Then you need to go over it again and do the edges. Then you go over it again and put in the lines you see in sidewalks every ten feet.
There is a term for this but I can't remember it! DAMN!
Then you go over it AGAIN and make sure it's smoothed out and fairly level. Once everything looks good, you brush the the concrete with a special broom to give it a nice textured look.
We also had to insert the bike rack into the concrete we laid near the skate park and make sure that was level and stable.
I then finished out my day putting up a sign that was taken down to make room for the forms we laid for the new sidewalk.
This is everything I've learned and done in just three days. These projects don't even scratch the surface of everything else I'm going to learn and do with this new career of mine. It's truly an amazing job with many, MANY responsibilities.
This is it. This is what I do. This is who I am.
I'm excited by this new adventure in my life and I'm proud of myself for getting here.
-Mike The Janitor
©2007
Millenoma Publishing
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