I guess it worked. That little toy John Deere tractor got me a city government job.
Well, that and my winning personality... and charm... and overall abilities... and talent... and sexy good looks... and a lot of determination and personal strength... mixed with just a little bit of bullshit.
Actually, it wasn't just me and my drive that made this all fall into place. It was also the help of key people who went to bat for me during my interview process.
My longtime friend Shawn in Elko, Nevada was called by the City of South Jordan. He me gave a stellar reference. Thank you, Shawn.
There was another friend of mine (who I can't say by name as to not cause a conflict with this person's employer) that also gave me high marks when speaking to the City of South Jordan. My deepest thanks to that individual.
There was my friend Dennis. I believe that Dennis's name ALONE was a good character reference because he's been an upstanding police officer for ten years with South Jordan.
There were even two other people indirectly involved that were crucial in calming my nerves when I had doubt that MAYBE I didn't get it.
The first person is my friend, JJ. Not only did I confess to her about my feelings of how devastated I would be if I didn't get this but also about other issues involving my life. She actually went from friend to pseudo therapist by listening to some things that have been weighing heavily on my mind.
Thank you, JJ. I cherish your input and your friendship. I also look forward to the day I see you win an Academy Award (or atleast an Emmy for TV work) in the coming years because you are a genuine talent.
The second person that was crucial in calming my nerves is a former girlfriend and longtime friend, Christina.
Christina assured me that the job was mine. I don't know why I had my doubts but I did. And for good reason. Christina also helped me open up more on our previous relationship and why I was the way I was and why I did what I did.
This was something that she needed because there never truly was closure at the end of our relationship. Which, by the way, ended quite terribly and with me feeling much regret about to this day.
Actually, the conversation between JJ and I and Christina and I, have made me re-think many situations in my life that are a part of a somewhat dark past for me. It's assisted me in a type of soul searching, I guess you could say.
These past few months have been some trying times for me. Both personally and professionally. As well as financially, spiritually and mentally.
The assistance of the afore mentioned people to help me gain something I truly wanted to accomplish is worth so much to me.
I'm slowly but surely crawling out of these dark times that I've been in as of late. I feel that this job with South Jordan is the next strong step in my life. It feels right and I know in my heart it is where I need to be.
I'm starting over. And this time that dark past will not only guide me but assist me in dealing with a bright future. I need not be afraid of this bright future. Which has, in the past, caused me to fall back into my self destructive ways. No longer will success be my ultimate failure.
As corny as it may sound (and I have to admit I'm getting choked up feeling this), I feel... hope.
I've been down several different paths in my life. But the outcome has always been the same. And that outcome has never wound up being good. I'm tired of that outcome.
This accomplishment with this job is a big deal for me. There are a few variables about this position that made it something I really wanted.
One of those is my friend Dennis. I'd like to see Dennis more on a regular basis and working for the same city he does will help that. I also want to work with and for the people I've met. They are some of the friendliest people I've ever encountered at any position I've applied for.
I also want to make more friends and network and blossom and grow personally and professionally. And what better opportunity to accomplish such a goal than with a city government job? The possibilities for professional growth are endless.
Plus, I need some more friends. I really don't have many. Actually, the only friend I have in Utah that I speak to and hang out with on a somewhat regular basis is Dennis.
But the biggest thing about this new career I've gained is what I feel I will have accomplished in the long run.
I guess as I get older I appreciate things more. For instance, people who work for our variety of goverment entities. The men and women who plow the snow, fix street lights, maintain water and sewer systems, clean up graffiti and maintain city streets and parks.
I'm going to be a part of that. I think that is so cool. I'm going to be helping with irrigation systems and sprinklers, keeping parks clean and maintained, inspecting childrens playgrounds and upkeeping their play areas, assisting in the burial of the deceased who have plots in the city cemetary, planting trees and grass, helping create new parks and recreational areas, maintaining the softball fields, removing snow and ice from parks, trails and City Hall.
All of that and more is what I will be doing as a representative of the Parks Maintenance Department with the City of South Jordan.
In some cases it may not be as cool as working in radio or operating a locomotive. But in the grand scheme of things, I truly believe and feel this new career for me with South Jordan surpasses that.
It's time for a change. I'm gladly looking forward to that with open arms.
-Mike The Janitor
©2007
Millenoma Publishing
2.24.2007
Mike's Top 20
I have to admit that I've been using the program "LimeWire" to steal music off the internet. Oh, and some porn. Cyber space is so much fun!
Anyway, enjoy my favorite Top 20 songs from last week. Nothing like "free" music and money shots to make the internet so worthwhile.
Mike's Top 20 Songs:
20: David Bowie "Dead Man Walking"
19: Whitesnake "Still Of The Night"
18: Genesis "Abacab"
17: DNA featuring Suzanne Vega "Tom's Diner"
16: Harry Connick, Jr. "Heavenly"
15: Gavin DeGraw "Crush (acoustic)"
14: George Michael "Freedom '90"
13: The Bee Gees "Tragedy"
12: Bob Dylan "Wigwam"
11: Double Trouble "She's All Right"
10: Steven Seagal (Yes, the actor) "Better Man"
09: The Breeders "Divine Hammer"
08: The Doors "Riders On The Storm"
07: Nick Drake "Which Will"
06: T'Pau "Heart & Soul"
05: When In Rome "The Promise"
04: Howard Jones "No One Is To Blame"
03: Huey Lewis & The News "Heart Of Rock 'N' Roll"
02: ABC "Be Near Me"
01: Rage Against The Machine "Sleep Now In The Fire"
-Mike The Janitor
©2007
Millenoma Publishing
Anyway, enjoy my favorite Top 20 songs from last week. Nothing like "free" music and money shots to make the internet so worthwhile.
Mike's Top 20 Songs:
20: David Bowie "Dead Man Walking"
19: Whitesnake "Still Of The Night"
18: Genesis "Abacab"
17: DNA featuring Suzanne Vega "Tom's Diner"
16: Harry Connick, Jr. "Heavenly"
15: Gavin DeGraw "Crush (acoustic)"
14: George Michael "Freedom '90"
13: The Bee Gees "Tragedy"
12: Bob Dylan "Wigwam"
11: Double Trouble "She's All Right"
10: Steven Seagal (Yes, the actor) "Better Man"
09: The Breeders "Divine Hammer"
08: The Doors "Riders On The Storm"
07: Nick Drake "Which Will"
06: T'Pau "Heart & Soul"
05: When In Rome "The Promise"
04: Howard Jones "No One Is To Blame"
03: Huey Lewis & The News "Heart Of Rock 'N' Roll"
02: ABC "Be Near Me"
01: Rage Against The Machine "Sleep Now In The Fire"
-Mike The Janitor
©2007
Millenoma Publishing
I took a prop to an interview
That's right. For my second interview with the City of South Jordan yesterday, I took a prop.
I thought it would be funny. When I interview, I try to be different and think outside of the box. For instance, my resume has my picture on it. I've come to find out that I get more responses to my resume because I have a picture on it than when I send it out without one.
Potential employers seem to enjoy the difference in the resume based on that fact alone. They also get an idea of my creative ways, I would hope. A couple of people I know who are in management positions have told me that the picture is inappropriate and could cost me interviews.
Well, I beg to differ.
Now, my present resume is far different from my radio resume. I actually have several different resumes constructed for radio and basic blue collar work.
I decided recently to mix a little of the creativity from my radio resume into my blue collar resume. And it's worked out very well. I've actually received a couple of emails from people who have filled positions I've applied for but really loved my resume.
My question is, why didn't they fill the position with ME if they loved my resume so much? The nerve. In some cases, I'm just not qualified or over-qualified for some of the positions I've applied for.
In other cases, I'm asking too much money as a starting wage. Well, I'm sorry potential employers. If you want a piece of this hot action to be working for you, you gotta pay top dollar, yo.
In other cases, it's not the pay but, rather, potential employers concerned that I'm going to bail and go back into radio. Well, DUH! I was making bank in radio and loving it. It's my life! So if I had to choose between unloading a truck at Wal*Mart, for instance, and making 80K doing mornings in Charlotte, North Carolina... which am I going to shoot for?
Now, this is an interesting thing for me to bring up. Because I'm wondering what is going to happen with this possible part time gig that I'll be pulling at a radio station here in Salt Lake.
If, in fact, I get this job with the City of South Jordan, when will the other shoe drop at this radio station I'll be doing part time at? The way I see it, the possibilities are there and it could very well happen.
My point is what am I going to do when I'm working for South Jordan doing a great city government job and the radio station comes to me and says: "Hey, we'd like you on full time" or "Hey, we're starting up another station in another market, we want you on that team full time".
What will I do?
In my younger years I'd bail on whatever job I was doing and go for the radio opportunity. That's how I've lived my life. And now that I'm 34 with not much to show for that kind of bouncing around, I'm not so sure I'll make that same decision.
Even though niether job has officially happened yet, I'm acting as though they have. I'm trying to be positive and picture myself in both positions. I'm also trying to decide what I would do if the chance happens to get back into radio full time somewhere down the road.
I'm clueless. I'm not so quick to answer with a definate response because I just don't know. Will my chance to shine and be prosperous happen this next time out working in radio? Should I take the risk and hope for the best as I have many times before?
Or should I stick with something safe and that I know will offer a wealth of other opportunities and job security in the form of working for city government?
Fuck beans.
Anyway, about the prop. While I was riding around with two of the guys from my first interview (they were showing me the variety of parks and land that South Jordan has under it's control that they maintain), I made a joke reminding them I didn't know how to operate a backhoe.
I then pulled a toy John Deere backhoe from my coat pocket and said that I had been practicing with it but it just wasn't them same.
That got a big laugh.
So, if I don't get the job offer on Monday, they can always remember me as the guy who pulled a toy backhoe out of his pocket.
Yep, that's me. Good ol' Mike thinking outside of the box. The question is will it pay off on Monday when they officially announce their decision.
The opportunity for this job is between me and one other candidate. There was two other candidates I was up against but it turns out that the third individual was axed for whatever reason.
78 people applied and now it's down to two people. Myself and this other person.
I think it's safe to say my chances are 50/50.... bwhahahahahahahahahahaha!
I'll keep you posted. To be honest, it was hard to read and gauge if they had already made their decision. So I'm not sure how it will turn out. I do know that they seemed more impressed by me based on my sense of humor and overall positive attitude.
OK, maybe it's more like 60/40 or 70/30. You know what? Fuck this... I have this job in the motherfucking bag! HELLS YES! I OWN IT BECAUSE I AM THIS POSITION! THIS IS A CAREER FOR ME! I WILL SHOUT IT FROM THE ROOFTOPS!
I just really want to operate a backhoe.
I guess I could always rent one and tear up my front yard. That would be fun.
I just thought up a stupid joke... what do you call a hooker who likes it in the butt?
A back door hoe.
*rimshot*
Leave it up to me to go from a piece of heavy construction machinery to a prostitute's butt in one lame swoop.
I rule.
-Mike The Janitor
©2007
Millenoma Publishing
I thought it would be funny. When I interview, I try to be different and think outside of the box. For instance, my resume has my picture on it. I've come to find out that I get more responses to my resume because I have a picture on it than when I send it out without one.
Potential employers seem to enjoy the difference in the resume based on that fact alone. They also get an idea of my creative ways, I would hope. A couple of people I know who are in management positions have told me that the picture is inappropriate and could cost me interviews.
Well, I beg to differ.
Now, my present resume is far different from my radio resume. I actually have several different resumes constructed for radio and basic blue collar work.
I decided recently to mix a little of the creativity from my radio resume into my blue collar resume. And it's worked out very well. I've actually received a couple of emails from people who have filled positions I've applied for but really loved my resume.
My question is, why didn't they fill the position with ME if they loved my resume so much? The nerve. In some cases, I'm just not qualified or over-qualified for some of the positions I've applied for.
In other cases, I'm asking too much money as a starting wage. Well, I'm sorry potential employers. If you want a piece of this hot action to be working for you, you gotta pay top dollar, yo.
In other cases, it's not the pay but, rather, potential employers concerned that I'm going to bail and go back into radio. Well, DUH! I was making bank in radio and loving it. It's my life! So if I had to choose between unloading a truck at Wal*Mart, for instance, and making 80K doing mornings in Charlotte, North Carolina... which am I going to shoot for?
Now, this is an interesting thing for me to bring up. Because I'm wondering what is going to happen with this possible part time gig that I'll be pulling at a radio station here in Salt Lake.
If, in fact, I get this job with the City of South Jordan, when will the other shoe drop at this radio station I'll be doing part time at? The way I see it, the possibilities are there and it could very well happen.
My point is what am I going to do when I'm working for South Jordan doing a great city government job and the radio station comes to me and says: "Hey, we'd like you on full time" or "Hey, we're starting up another station in another market, we want you on that team full time".
What will I do?
In my younger years I'd bail on whatever job I was doing and go for the radio opportunity. That's how I've lived my life. And now that I'm 34 with not much to show for that kind of bouncing around, I'm not so sure I'll make that same decision.
Even though niether job has officially happened yet, I'm acting as though they have. I'm trying to be positive and picture myself in both positions. I'm also trying to decide what I would do if the chance happens to get back into radio full time somewhere down the road.
I'm clueless. I'm not so quick to answer with a definate response because I just don't know. Will my chance to shine and be prosperous happen this next time out working in radio? Should I take the risk and hope for the best as I have many times before?
Or should I stick with something safe and that I know will offer a wealth of other opportunities and job security in the form of working for city government?
Fuck beans.
Anyway, about the prop. While I was riding around with two of the guys from my first interview (they were showing me the variety of parks and land that South Jordan has under it's control that they maintain), I made a joke reminding them I didn't know how to operate a backhoe.
I then pulled a toy John Deere backhoe from my coat pocket and said that I had been practicing with it but it just wasn't them same.
That got a big laugh.
So, if I don't get the job offer on Monday, they can always remember me as the guy who pulled a toy backhoe out of his pocket.
Yep, that's me. Good ol' Mike thinking outside of the box. The question is will it pay off on Monday when they officially announce their decision.
The opportunity for this job is between me and one other candidate. There was two other candidates I was up against but it turns out that the third individual was axed for whatever reason.
78 people applied and now it's down to two people. Myself and this other person.
I think it's safe to say my chances are 50/50.... bwhahahahahahahahahahaha!
I'll keep you posted. To be honest, it was hard to read and gauge if they had already made their decision. So I'm not sure how it will turn out. I do know that they seemed more impressed by me based on my sense of humor and overall positive attitude.
OK, maybe it's more like 60/40 or 70/30. You know what? Fuck this... I have this job in the motherfucking bag! HELLS YES! I OWN IT BECAUSE I AM THIS POSITION! THIS IS A CAREER FOR ME! I WILL SHOUT IT FROM THE ROOFTOPS!
I just really want to operate a backhoe.
I guess I could always rent one and tear up my front yard. That would be fun.
I just thought up a stupid joke... what do you call a hooker who likes it in the butt?
A back door hoe.
*rimshot*
Leave it up to me to go from a piece of heavy construction machinery to a prostitute's butt in one lame swoop.
I rule.
-Mike The Janitor
©2007
Millenoma Publishing
2.21.2007
Previously on "34"
So, today was the day. Today was the day I celebrated turning yet another year older.
34. Thirty four years old.
First off, I want to thank those of you who took the time to write me a quick note, an email, a comment or even make a call to wish me a happy birthday. Thank you.
Secondly, I thought this birthday was going to be shitty. My birthday last year was pretty bad but this one was about to surpass that one.
Actually, my birthday last year really wasn't all that bad. I had a girlfriend I cared about very much and we had plenty of awesome sex. I have to admit that I do miss her and have been thinking about her quite a bit lately.
However, I don't know if I'm thinking about her because I miss her or the sex. To be honest, I think it's both. That doesn't change the fact she called the police on me because she's been brainwashed by the L.D.S. church.
That's old news. Water under the bridge, so they say. She's just fucking stupid sometimes. And you know what? I can be stupid, too. A lot.
Anyway, my point is I had more going for me last year with a girlfriend, sex, a great job and friends.
This birthday I have really none of that. I have no girlfriend. I haven't had sex since October, I think. I have a lousy job and only a couple of good friends who have stuck by me even when I'm at my worst.
For instance, one of these friends has probably helped me gain a job I've been gunning for with the City of South Jordan here in Utah. Actually, TWO friends have probably assisted in this.
The first friend is my longtime buddy (and Detective Sergeant for the South Jordan Police Department), Dennis. The other is someone I don't want to mention by name. You're about to find out why.
Let me start off with how my birthday kicked off before I get into that.
My birthday started at about 5:23 AM when I woke up this morning. I thought about calling in sick to work but realized that A:) I couldn't afford the lost time and B:) I didn't really have anyone to celebrate my birthday with.
Shortly after I woke up, my phone rang. It was my mom. My mom and I have been having a rough time lately because I've been quite the fuck up. But that is a whole different blog and an issue I don't care to discuss right now.
Anyway, she called me to wish me a happy birthday. I then got up, showered, got dressed and went to work.
As I pulled into the parking lot of my shitty place of employment, I thought to myself "It's got to get better than this. It's just got to."
I then proceeded to make a delivery to a huge home being built in a secluded area of Murray. I pulled some muscles in my upper back trying to pull up some heavy shit on a hand truck into this house to get it to where it needed to be.
Clearly, I'm too old for this shit. My back is killing me. This exercise is great, though. I can say that now but, normally, I'm cursing up a storm when I get to some of these job sites and see the conditions of what I've got to walk/climb through just to get shit where it needs to go.
And, again, let me specify what I'm hauling... TILE. MORTAR MIX. SLATE. STONE. QUICKCRETE. Heeeaavvvvvvyyyyyy shit when you've got to lug it around by hand.
I T S U C K B A L L S.
I know... WHINE.
It's not the labor, people. I truly don't mind that. It's the goddamn dangerous terrain and environment I'm encountering that is making me roll my eyes and excl..
"WHAT THE FUCK AM I DOING HERE?!"
As I was being bitter and trying to keep from screaming when I pinched the tips of my fingers in some scaffolding I was putting together, my phone rang.
I recognized the number as the one belonging to the City of South Jordan. It was their Human Resources department calling to inform me they wanted me to come back for a second interview this coming Friday, February 23rd.
In my first interview with the City of South Jordan, they informed me that if I should get a call back for a second interview, I'd more than likely have the job.
But I'm not getting my hopes up too much because things could change.
I can say that the reason I got the second interview was because of a friend of mine who spoke very highly of me. This person is a former co-worker and supervisor.
The first person I selected to speak on my behalf declined. Actually, this individual told me that they couldn't give me any type of reference because it was against company policy.
Ironically, the second person I went to for the reference works for the same company that the first person also works for.
Needless to say, I'm upset with the first person. If this individual has some kind of issue with me and would prefer I not use them as a reference, that's all they had to say.
Therefore, I will not ever rely on this person again as a reference.
But I want to thank the second person for speaking so highly of me and practically lying through their teeth... hahahahahahahahahahah. I'm so kidding.
I would use names in this story but I don't want the first person causing trouble for the second person since they both work at a fomer place of employment of mine.
Make sense?
So we'll see what happens on Friday with the city government job. I have a pretty good feeling and I'm excited to find out what lies in store for me.
So, there I was at work with smashed fingers and excited to find out I'm closer to a new job that would make a great career for me. And, to top it off, it was my birthday.
Could things look any brighter?
Why, as a matter a fact, YES!
After work today, I rushed home and took a quick shower and changed. I was due to meet with an old radio colleague of mine about a possible part time radio gig.
I arrived at his office right on time and got into catching up with him since I haven't seen him for about 14 years.
We talked about all kinds of things we had done over the years and it was good to see him.
He then asked me if I wouldn't mind doing part time with his broadcasting company and for the station he oversees.
I said I would love it.
Although I didn't make an official deal, my cyber buddies, it's pretty much going to happen.
Mike The Janitor will be back on the air within a couple of weeks. This was a highlight to a birthday that had gone from not so good to good to great!
I'm due back at this station in a couple of days to fill out the hiring paperwork and all that jazz. I will make my official announcement about the station I'll be working for and when you can hear my first show very soon.
I could tell you the name of the station right now but I want to wait and keep everyone in suspense. I also want to make sure I'm not dreaming and have signed off on actual hiring paperwork, you know?
But rest assured, Mike The Janitor will be back on the airwaves of Salt Lake City and I can't wait to crack the mic. I'm drooling with excitement.
I finished off my birthday by visiting my mom who had made a nice dinner for us both and got me a birthday cake. She also bought me some whole bean Sumatra Starbucks coffee. Mmmmmmmmmm... Starbucks.
I miss my Starbucks barista, too. I wonder if she realizes that she gave up on me too soon? Well, I guess I can't really say that when I was cheating on her, huh?
What a drag. Well, I got what I deserve. And then some. And then some more. And still more. And even now I'm getting more.
But there is a shimmer of light at the end of this long, dark tunnel I'm constantly putting myself in.
Let's all hope that my turning 34 is the point in my life where it all starts to work out and I can find inner peace, love, happiness and success without fucking it all up.
-Mike The Janitor
©2007
Millenoma Publishing
34. Thirty four years old.
First off, I want to thank those of you who took the time to write me a quick note, an email, a comment or even make a call to wish me a happy birthday. Thank you.
Secondly, I thought this birthday was going to be shitty. My birthday last year was pretty bad but this one was about to surpass that one.
Actually, my birthday last year really wasn't all that bad. I had a girlfriend I cared about very much and we had plenty of awesome sex. I have to admit that I do miss her and have been thinking about her quite a bit lately.
However, I don't know if I'm thinking about her because I miss her or the sex. To be honest, I think it's both. That doesn't change the fact she called the police on me because she's been brainwashed by the L.D.S. church.
That's old news. Water under the bridge, so they say. She's just fucking stupid sometimes. And you know what? I can be stupid, too. A lot.
Anyway, my point is I had more going for me last year with a girlfriend, sex, a great job and friends.
This birthday I have really none of that. I have no girlfriend. I haven't had sex since October, I think. I have a lousy job and only a couple of good friends who have stuck by me even when I'm at my worst.
For instance, one of these friends has probably helped me gain a job I've been gunning for with the City of South Jordan here in Utah. Actually, TWO friends have probably assisted in this.
The first friend is my longtime buddy (and Detective Sergeant for the South Jordan Police Department), Dennis. The other is someone I don't want to mention by name. You're about to find out why.
Let me start off with how my birthday kicked off before I get into that.
My birthday started at about 5:23 AM when I woke up this morning. I thought about calling in sick to work but realized that A:) I couldn't afford the lost time and B:) I didn't really have anyone to celebrate my birthday with.
Shortly after I woke up, my phone rang. It was my mom. My mom and I have been having a rough time lately because I've been quite the fuck up. But that is a whole different blog and an issue I don't care to discuss right now.
Anyway, she called me to wish me a happy birthday. I then got up, showered, got dressed and went to work.
As I pulled into the parking lot of my shitty place of employment, I thought to myself "It's got to get better than this. It's just got to."
I then proceeded to make a delivery to a huge home being built in a secluded area of Murray. I pulled some muscles in my upper back trying to pull up some heavy shit on a hand truck into this house to get it to where it needed to be.
Clearly, I'm too old for this shit. My back is killing me. This exercise is great, though. I can say that now but, normally, I'm cursing up a storm when I get to some of these job sites and see the conditions of what I've got to walk/climb through just to get shit where it needs to go.
And, again, let me specify what I'm hauling... TILE. MORTAR MIX. SLATE. STONE. QUICKCRETE. Heeeaavvvvvvyyyyyy shit when you've got to lug it around by hand.
I T S U C K B A L L S.
I know... WHINE.
It's not the labor, people. I truly don't mind that. It's the goddamn dangerous terrain and environment I'm encountering that is making me roll my eyes and excl..
"WHAT THE FUCK AM I DOING HERE?!"
As I was being bitter and trying to keep from screaming when I pinched the tips of my fingers in some scaffolding I was putting together, my phone rang.
I recognized the number as the one belonging to the City of South Jordan. It was their Human Resources department calling to inform me they wanted me to come back for a second interview this coming Friday, February 23rd.
In my first interview with the City of South Jordan, they informed me that if I should get a call back for a second interview, I'd more than likely have the job.
But I'm not getting my hopes up too much because things could change.
I can say that the reason I got the second interview was because of a friend of mine who spoke very highly of me. This person is a former co-worker and supervisor.
The first person I selected to speak on my behalf declined. Actually, this individual told me that they couldn't give me any type of reference because it was against company policy.
Ironically, the second person I went to for the reference works for the same company that the first person also works for.
Needless to say, I'm upset with the first person. If this individual has some kind of issue with me and would prefer I not use them as a reference, that's all they had to say.
Therefore, I will not ever rely on this person again as a reference.
But I want to thank the second person for speaking so highly of me and practically lying through their teeth... hahahahahahahahahahah. I'm so kidding.
I would use names in this story but I don't want the first person causing trouble for the second person since they both work at a fomer place of employment of mine.
Make sense?
So we'll see what happens on Friday with the city government job. I have a pretty good feeling and I'm excited to find out what lies in store for me.
So, there I was at work with smashed fingers and excited to find out I'm closer to a new job that would make a great career for me. And, to top it off, it was my birthday.
Could things look any brighter?
Why, as a matter a fact, YES!
After work today, I rushed home and took a quick shower and changed. I was due to meet with an old radio colleague of mine about a possible part time radio gig.
I arrived at his office right on time and got into catching up with him since I haven't seen him for about 14 years.
We talked about all kinds of things we had done over the years and it was good to see him.
He then asked me if I wouldn't mind doing part time with his broadcasting company and for the station he oversees.
I said I would love it.
Although I didn't make an official deal, my cyber buddies, it's pretty much going to happen.
Mike The Janitor will be back on the air within a couple of weeks. This was a highlight to a birthday that had gone from not so good to good to great!
I'm due back at this station in a couple of days to fill out the hiring paperwork and all that jazz. I will make my official announcement about the station I'll be working for and when you can hear my first show very soon.
I could tell you the name of the station right now but I want to wait and keep everyone in suspense. I also want to make sure I'm not dreaming and have signed off on actual hiring paperwork, you know?
But rest assured, Mike The Janitor will be back on the airwaves of Salt Lake City and I can't wait to crack the mic. I'm drooling with excitement.
I finished off my birthday by visiting my mom who had made a nice dinner for us both and got me a birthday cake. She also bought me some whole bean Sumatra Starbucks coffee. Mmmmmmmmmm... Starbucks.
I miss my Starbucks barista, too. I wonder if she realizes that she gave up on me too soon? Well, I guess I can't really say that when I was cheating on her, huh?
What a drag. Well, I got what I deserve. And then some. And then some more. And still more. And even now I'm getting more.
But there is a shimmer of light at the end of this long, dark tunnel I'm constantly putting myself in.
Let's all hope that my turning 34 is the point in my life where it all starts to work out and I can find inner peace, love, happiness and success without fucking it all up.
-Mike The Janitor
©2007
Millenoma Publishing
2.17.2007
Mike's Top 20, Top 10 & Top 5
Being a driver has it's perks. It gives me the opportunity to listen to more music. Music is my life source, don't you know? Ironically, my CD collection is almost completely sold off. As well as my DVD's. I might even consider selling my U2 Limited Edition iPod for some extra cash, too. Any takers?
I'll do what I have to and sell what I must to survive through these dark times. anything I sell now I can always buy again later down the road when I'm more financially stable.
Since my CD collection is pretty much a memory now as well as my DVD collection (all that's left of that are my "South Park" seasons and I'm going to part with them, too), I may start doing my weekly list as just "Mike's Top 20".
This is considering the fact that I don't really listen to full length CD's anymore and don't have any DVD's (or rented any) to compile a list for that, either.
Most of my music enjoyment has been coming from my Apple laptop and my iTunes, my iPod or many, many compilation CD's I've made over the years that I sometimes pop into my CD deck in my car or work truck.
So, let us bow our heads and give thanks as I present to you the last edition of "Mike's Top 20, Mike's Top 10 & Mike's Top 5".
Mike's Top 20 Songs:
20: Metallica "One"
19: Simon & Garfunkel "Homeward Bound"
18: Neil Diamond "Sweet Caroline"
17: Coldplay "Sparks"
16: Black Sheep "Strobelight Honey"
15: Das EFX "They Want EFX"
14: Paul Simon "Late In The Evening"
13: The Fratellis "Flathead"
12: Player "Baby Come Back'
11: 10 CC "I'm Not In Love"
10: Bread "Baby I'm A Want You"
09: Bush "Letting The Cables Sleep"
08: Disturbed "Land Of Confusion"
07: Elton John "Don't Go Breaking My Heart"
06: U2 "Crumbs From Your Table"
05: Ozzy Osbourne "Shot In The Dark"
04: Rilo Kiley "Pictures Of Success"
03: Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds "Red Right Hand"
02: Sevendust "Denial"
01: The Chemical Brothers featuring Q-Tip "Galvanize"
Mike's Top 10 CD's:
10: Various Artists "The X-Files: Songs In The Key Of X"
09: The Chemical Brothers "Push The Button"
08: Rilo Kiley "Take Offs And Landings"
07: Bush "The Science Of Things"
06: Various Artists "Sounds Of The 70's"
05: Sevendust "Home"
04: Simon & Garfunkel "Greatest Hits"
03: Paul Simon "Negotiations & Love Songs 1971-1986"
02: Elton John "The Greatest Hits: 1970-2002"
01: Coldplay "Parachutes"
Mike's Top 5 DVD's:
05: Clerks
04: Clerks II
03: Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back
02: Mallrats
01: Chasing Amy
-Mike The Janitor
©2007
Millenoma Publishing
I'll do what I have to and sell what I must to survive through these dark times. anything I sell now I can always buy again later down the road when I'm more financially stable.
Since my CD collection is pretty much a memory now as well as my DVD collection (all that's left of that are my "South Park" seasons and I'm going to part with them, too), I may start doing my weekly list as just "Mike's Top 20".
This is considering the fact that I don't really listen to full length CD's anymore and don't have any DVD's (or rented any) to compile a list for that, either.
Most of my music enjoyment has been coming from my Apple laptop and my iTunes, my iPod or many, many compilation CD's I've made over the years that I sometimes pop into my CD deck in my car or work truck.
So, let us bow our heads and give thanks as I present to you the last edition of "Mike's Top 20, Mike's Top 10 & Mike's Top 5".
Mike's Top 20 Songs:
20: Metallica "One"
19: Simon & Garfunkel "Homeward Bound"
18: Neil Diamond "Sweet Caroline"
17: Coldplay "Sparks"
16: Black Sheep "Strobelight Honey"
15: Das EFX "They Want EFX"
14: Paul Simon "Late In The Evening"
13: The Fratellis "Flathead"
12: Player "Baby Come Back'
11: 10 CC "I'm Not In Love"
10: Bread "Baby I'm A Want You"
09: Bush "Letting The Cables Sleep"
08: Disturbed "Land Of Confusion"
07: Elton John "Don't Go Breaking My Heart"
06: U2 "Crumbs From Your Table"
05: Ozzy Osbourne "Shot In The Dark"
04: Rilo Kiley "Pictures Of Success"
03: Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds "Red Right Hand"
02: Sevendust "Denial"
01: The Chemical Brothers featuring Q-Tip "Galvanize"
Mike's Top 10 CD's:
10: Various Artists "The X-Files: Songs In The Key Of X"
09: The Chemical Brothers "Push The Button"
08: Rilo Kiley "Take Offs And Landings"
07: Bush "The Science Of Things"
06: Various Artists "Sounds Of The 70's"
05: Sevendust "Home"
04: Simon & Garfunkel "Greatest Hits"
03: Paul Simon "Negotiations & Love Songs 1971-1986"
02: Elton John "The Greatest Hits: 1970-2002"
01: Coldplay "Parachutes"
Mike's Top 5 DVD's:
05: Clerks
04: Clerks II
03: Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back
02: Mallrats
01: Chasing Amy
-Mike The Janitor
©2007
Millenoma Publishing
The battle between True.com & Match.com
You know, months ago I went off on True.com and their sultry ads. To be honest, I'm STILL sick of them. Yeah, sure, the ladies featured in them are prized boner material but GIVE ME A BREAK!
"Is she naughty or nice"? the ads always ask. Well, considering she is wearing tight, form fitting clothes and her boobies are popping out of her top AND she has a look of "fuck me" written all over her late night Cinemax body... I'd say she's naughty... VERY naughty... rawr!
Then we have a clever set up from Match.com where their advertisements make it look like a female is live on her webcam. Now, in the back of my mind I'm thinking what most guys are probably thinking: WHEN ARE THE CLOTHES COMING OFF?!
But they never do. And I really wouldn't expect that from Match.com. I would from True.com, however. They seem more of a guide to cyber escorts than anything else.
Let's face it, SEX SELLS. But this concept that True.com is going for doesn't work on me. These stupid ads don't make me want to go there and try out their site and its features. No thanks.
True.com missed the boat when it came to toning it down. Match.com has picked up where True.com failed, in my opinion. The women featured in the phony live webcam ads are more my style. And I think the campaign is a clever marketing tool.
True.com = SLUTS and Match.com = CLASS. Now, I need to find a happy medium. A site that can help me find a classy slut. Maybe I need to start another account at Adult Friend Finder? No, that is straight up freaky sluts. Which is cool.
I've used a few personal services in my time. They're all bullshit, really. Everyone lies, including myself, to make themselves out to be a more promising catch.
You never really meet the kind of women that are featured in the ads you see for places like True.com, Match.com or Yahoo Personals. These are professional models hired to be photographed to entice you and your erection into thinking that women like that exist on their service.
LIES!
Actually, I take that back. The one service I've used a couple of times with somewhat good return was Yahoo Personals.
Of the women I've met from Yahoo Personals, there is one I still talk to on a regular basis. Actually, this female is kind of outside the norm of women I had encountered prior on Yahoo Personals.
I hope this female doesn't mind me sharing this. I won't say her name but she is quite stunning and I've had a crush on her since we first met. She just floored me. And she was a redhead! And we all know my love (fetish) for redheads! But I also realized in coming to know her that I wasn't the kind of guy for her.
This woman is classy and talented and sexy in many ways. She is an accomplished actress who just recently moved to Los Angeles to pursue he career even further. I just received an email from her telling me how it's been for her since she arrived a couple of weeks ago.
I'm really, truly proud of her. She inspires me to pull my own head out of my ass and get back into radio.
She and I are good friends and I have Yahoo Personals to thank for that. I guess it's wrong for me to say that really attractive women don't use online personal dating services because they do. I can attest to that.
However, there have been a few other attractive women I've encountered from such services that didn't turn out for the better. Most of them have completely relied on their attractiveness to get them through life and have the sense of a cinder block.
Or they know they're so hot that when you try to see beyond that, they get irritated that you aren't constantly showering them with compliments and gifts.
*barfs*
Christ, I hate women like that.
Now, me, I'm just your average Joe. I'm not incredibly good looking but I'm not a dog, either. However, my bi-polar whack job attitude can really put a damper on my stunning good looks and award winning sense of humor and personality.
And that's where I fall short with women like my actress friend. I'm not enough man for someone of her stature. That's not me putting myself down. It's just a realistic fact.
Pretty people normally hook up with pretty people so they can create pretty babies.
I think being pretty is a lot more rough than it looks to average Joe's and Jane's like you and I. I'm sure the consensus must be that when you see a really attractive person, they're more than likely dating someone of equal hotness.
In most cases, I bet that isn't true. As a matter a fact, I think that civilized, fun, smart, witty attractive people are just as frustrated and lonely as a regular looking person because they're encountering those model type dipsticks that are so prominently featured in ads for True.com. Therefore, True.com is defying the purpose.
It should be called UnTrue.com.
I think I'm going to start an online personals service and call it "Realisticpersonals.com".
It'll ask your standard questions for match making like age, weight, height, income, occupation, likes and dislikes, personality traits, etc.
Then my site will re-ask those same questions again to verify that you lied the first time.
Plus, my site will ask odd questions like "How often do you clean your toilet"?, "When's the last time you emptied the crumb tray to your toaster? Did you even KNOW it had a tray"?, "ER or House"?, "CSI or Law & Order"?, "Starbucks or Folgers"?, "Ramen or Mac & Cheese"?, "How quickly do you change a burned out lightbulb"?, "Do you get along with your parents"? and a variety of other questions that really get to the heart and mind of a person.
I think I'll make another site called "realisticpenis.com". This site will be dedicated to men who aren't ashamed of being an average Joe nor are they ashamed of their average size.
And, of course, it'll come complete with pictures for every profile posted so each guy can proudly display a flaccid and erect member for ladies who just don't care about size.
Ok, maybe not.
My real point here is that True.com features women I wouldn't want to know anyway.
I might try Match.com, though. And probably hit up Yahoo Personals again. But not before I fix some of the things I'd wind up lying about in their questionnaires.
One of the first things they ask should be: "Have you been or are you presently completely fucked up emotionally and/or mentally?"
The multiple choice answers should be: "Yes", "No", "Maybe" and "Who isn't?!"
To continue living in my own denial, I'd check "Who isn't?!"
You know what, I think it's best I stay single for a while. I'm cool with that. Besides, masturbation is so much for alone! Or with a Twinkie®.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA... that was gross.
Betcha won't look at a Twinkie® the same again, will ya?!
-Mike The Janitor
©2007
Millenoma Publishing
"Is she naughty or nice"? the ads always ask. Well, considering she is wearing tight, form fitting clothes and her boobies are popping out of her top AND she has a look of "fuck me" written all over her late night Cinemax body... I'd say she's naughty... VERY naughty... rawr!
Then we have a clever set up from Match.com where their advertisements make it look like a female is live on her webcam. Now, in the back of my mind I'm thinking what most guys are probably thinking: WHEN ARE THE CLOTHES COMING OFF?!
But they never do. And I really wouldn't expect that from Match.com. I would from True.com, however. They seem more of a guide to cyber escorts than anything else.
Let's face it, SEX SELLS. But this concept that True.com is going for doesn't work on me. These stupid ads don't make me want to go there and try out their site and its features. No thanks.
True.com missed the boat when it came to toning it down. Match.com has picked up where True.com failed, in my opinion. The women featured in the phony live webcam ads are more my style. And I think the campaign is a clever marketing tool.
True.com = SLUTS and Match.com = CLASS. Now, I need to find a happy medium. A site that can help me find a classy slut. Maybe I need to start another account at Adult Friend Finder? No, that is straight up freaky sluts. Which is cool.
I've used a few personal services in my time. They're all bullshit, really. Everyone lies, including myself, to make themselves out to be a more promising catch.
You never really meet the kind of women that are featured in the ads you see for places like True.com, Match.com or Yahoo Personals. These are professional models hired to be photographed to entice you and your erection into thinking that women like that exist on their service.
LIES!
Actually, I take that back. The one service I've used a couple of times with somewhat good return was Yahoo Personals.
Of the women I've met from Yahoo Personals, there is one I still talk to on a regular basis. Actually, this female is kind of outside the norm of women I had encountered prior on Yahoo Personals.
I hope this female doesn't mind me sharing this. I won't say her name but she is quite stunning and I've had a crush on her since we first met. She just floored me. And she was a redhead! And we all know my love (fetish) for redheads! But I also realized in coming to know her that I wasn't the kind of guy for her.
This woman is classy and talented and sexy in many ways. She is an accomplished actress who just recently moved to Los Angeles to pursue he career even further. I just received an email from her telling me how it's been for her since she arrived a couple of weeks ago.
I'm really, truly proud of her. She inspires me to pull my own head out of my ass and get back into radio.
She and I are good friends and I have Yahoo Personals to thank for that. I guess it's wrong for me to say that really attractive women don't use online personal dating services because they do. I can attest to that.
However, there have been a few other attractive women I've encountered from such services that didn't turn out for the better. Most of them have completely relied on their attractiveness to get them through life and have the sense of a cinder block.
Or they know they're so hot that when you try to see beyond that, they get irritated that you aren't constantly showering them with compliments and gifts.
*barfs*
Christ, I hate women like that.
Now, me, I'm just your average Joe. I'm not incredibly good looking but I'm not a dog, either. However, my bi-polar whack job attitude can really put a damper on my stunning good looks and award winning sense of humor and personality.
And that's where I fall short with women like my actress friend. I'm not enough man for someone of her stature. That's not me putting myself down. It's just a realistic fact.
Pretty people normally hook up with pretty people so they can create pretty babies.
I think being pretty is a lot more rough than it looks to average Joe's and Jane's like you and I. I'm sure the consensus must be that when you see a really attractive person, they're more than likely dating someone of equal hotness.
In most cases, I bet that isn't true. As a matter a fact, I think that civilized, fun, smart, witty attractive people are just as frustrated and lonely as a regular looking person because they're encountering those model type dipsticks that are so prominently featured in ads for True.com. Therefore, True.com is defying the purpose.
It should be called UnTrue.com.
I think I'm going to start an online personals service and call it "Realisticpersonals.com".
It'll ask your standard questions for match making like age, weight, height, income, occupation, likes and dislikes, personality traits, etc.
Then my site will re-ask those same questions again to verify that you lied the first time.
Plus, my site will ask odd questions like "How often do you clean your toilet"?, "When's the last time you emptied the crumb tray to your toaster? Did you even KNOW it had a tray"?, "ER or House"?, "CSI or Law & Order"?, "Starbucks or Folgers"?, "Ramen or Mac & Cheese"?, "How quickly do you change a burned out lightbulb"?, "Do you get along with your parents"? and a variety of other questions that really get to the heart and mind of a person.
I think I'll make another site called "realisticpenis.com". This site will be dedicated to men who aren't ashamed of being an average Joe nor are they ashamed of their average size.
And, of course, it'll come complete with pictures for every profile posted so each guy can proudly display a flaccid and erect member for ladies who just don't care about size.
Ok, maybe not.
My real point here is that True.com features women I wouldn't want to know anyway.
I might try Match.com, though. And probably hit up Yahoo Personals again. But not before I fix some of the things I'd wind up lying about in their questionnaires.
One of the first things they ask should be: "Have you been or are you presently completely fucked up emotionally and/or mentally?"
The multiple choice answers should be: "Yes", "No", "Maybe" and "Who isn't?!"
To continue living in my own denial, I'd check "Who isn't?!"
You know what, I think it's best I stay single for a while. I'm cool with that. Besides, masturbation is so much for alone! Or with a Twinkie®.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA... that was gross.
Betcha won't look at a Twinkie® the same again, will ya?!
-Mike The Janitor
©2007
Millenoma Publishing
2.16.2007
I really should take that loaf of bread off of the dryer
In my last blog "Look at this mess", I conveyed the general idea of just how messy I've allowed my apartment to become. Pigs, and other farm animals, would actually turn down the opportunity to stay at my place.
Something else I noticed about my present living situation is my washer and dryer make a handy place to set things.
Since they are in my kitchen next to the stove and fridge, they have the tendency to collect items on top of them that have nothing to do with laundry.
For instance, dirty dishes, cooking oil, salt and pepper and bread. They've become additional counter space. Not too mention additional COOKING and PREP space for when I'm making dinner. I actually use the top of my dryer as a cutting board. Well, I have a cutting board but I lay everything out on the dryer to slice and dice what I need.
Listen to me, "slice and dice". AS IF! The only cutting I've been doing on the top of the dryer is slicing up the frozen pizzas I make when they come out of the oven. I'm not master chef here. If I was, I'd have a better way to prepare food! AND MORE GODDAMN COUNTER SPACE!
You know how I mentioned my bread is on the dryer? Well, I just ate a slice of bread from the loaf and it tastes like fabric softener sheets.
Yummy.
I imagine if I were to give oral pleasure to the Snuggle bear, that's what it would taste like.
Man, what an oddly bland yet soapy taste. I should take the bread out of the packaging and see what other things from my apartment and its' appliances accumulate in the dough.
I'd rather not.
Anyway, the real point to this blog is to share some interesting news.
Earlier today I decided to call an old radio colleague of mine that I haven't spoken to for a couple of years.
Come to think of it, I haven't actually SEEN this guy since we worked together back in 1993.
I just wanted to touch base with him and see how he's been since the last time we spoke. I also wanted to probe him about any possible job openings at the radio station he oversees.
He started out like this: "To be honest, Mike... (long pause)... I actually DO. But I didn't call you back the last time because I didn't think you'd be interested. We're not really going for a personality driven station. We have three breaks an hour and keep it pretty short and sweet.
My response was: "Well, it seems that a few stations are doing that. I'm basically looking for something to get my feet wet, man. Nothing major. If you'd be interested in bringing me on board and seeing what happens down the road, I'd be interested in talking to you more about it."
To which he replied: "I would. Let's hook up next Wednesday and around 5:00 PM and we'll go from there. It'll be good to see you and I could use some extra help."
So, there you have it. Next Wednesday at 5:00 PM I'll be seeing an old colleague for the first time in about 14 years. I'll also, more than likely, be joining his on-air staff part time. MAYBE.
And you know what else happens next Wednesday? I didn't even realize it until I got home earlier today. It's my birthday.
That will be a nice little present to myself. If I can get back into radio here, even part time, that would bring a nice little slice of happiness my way.
Then all of you won't have to put up with my depression blogs anymore.
-Mike The Janitor
©2007
Millenoma Publishing
Something else I noticed about my present living situation is my washer and dryer make a handy place to set things.
Since they are in my kitchen next to the stove and fridge, they have the tendency to collect items on top of them that have nothing to do with laundry.
For instance, dirty dishes, cooking oil, salt and pepper and bread. They've become additional counter space. Not too mention additional COOKING and PREP space for when I'm making dinner. I actually use the top of my dryer as a cutting board. Well, I have a cutting board but I lay everything out on the dryer to slice and dice what I need.
Listen to me, "slice and dice". AS IF! The only cutting I've been doing on the top of the dryer is slicing up the frozen pizzas I make when they come out of the oven. I'm not master chef here. If I was, I'd have a better way to prepare food! AND MORE GODDAMN COUNTER SPACE!
You know how I mentioned my bread is on the dryer? Well, I just ate a slice of bread from the loaf and it tastes like fabric softener sheets.
Yummy.
I imagine if I were to give oral pleasure to the Snuggle bear, that's what it would taste like.
Man, what an oddly bland yet soapy taste. I should take the bread out of the packaging and see what other things from my apartment and its' appliances accumulate in the dough.
I'd rather not.
Anyway, the real point to this blog is to share some interesting news.
Earlier today I decided to call an old radio colleague of mine that I haven't spoken to for a couple of years.
Come to think of it, I haven't actually SEEN this guy since we worked together back in 1993.
I just wanted to touch base with him and see how he's been since the last time we spoke. I also wanted to probe him about any possible job openings at the radio station he oversees.
He started out like this: "To be honest, Mike... (long pause)... I actually DO. But I didn't call you back the last time because I didn't think you'd be interested. We're not really going for a personality driven station. We have three breaks an hour and keep it pretty short and sweet.
My response was: "Well, it seems that a few stations are doing that. I'm basically looking for something to get my feet wet, man. Nothing major. If you'd be interested in bringing me on board and seeing what happens down the road, I'd be interested in talking to you more about it."
To which he replied: "I would. Let's hook up next Wednesday and around 5:00 PM and we'll go from there. It'll be good to see you and I could use some extra help."
So, there you have it. Next Wednesday at 5:00 PM I'll be seeing an old colleague for the first time in about 14 years. I'll also, more than likely, be joining his on-air staff part time. MAYBE.
And you know what else happens next Wednesday? I didn't even realize it until I got home earlier today. It's my birthday.
That will be a nice little present to myself. If I can get back into radio here, even part time, that would bring a nice little slice of happiness my way.
Then all of you won't have to put up with my depression blogs anymore.
-Mike The Janitor
©2007
Millenoma Publishing
Look at this mess
You should see my apartment. It could be considered a national disaster area in need of federal aide. Shit, if F.E.M.A. is still tossing out money to people who don't need it, sign me up.
Presently where I'm sitting is what I call my "TV Room". In theory, it should be a second bedroom. But since it's just me living here, I have my 27" television set up in here along with my surround sound DVD system and X-Box.
I also use it as my little internet office. My blog compound. To my left are a couple of large windows. The windowsill closest to me has empty beer cans sitting on it.
To my right is a small bookshelf with empty beer cans on it, some coffee mugs (a couple with half drank coffee in them) and stacks of copied CD's that sit right on top of my printer that sits on top of the small bookshelf.
On top of the stacks of CD's is a used cereal bowl from last week.
Scattered about the floor in front of me are more copied CD's, some autographed CD's, my 35mm Pentax film camera, my Staples "Easy Button" (which makes me laugh because I would love to be able to hit that son-of-a-bitch and get it to clean this crap up), a lamp, my headphones, a couple of copies of "Entertainment Weekly" and still more empty beer cans. Oh, wait... no... one of those beer cans is half full.
Across the way is the door to my bedroom which I can see partially right now. Within clear view is my air bed. I've lived here six months and still sleep, pretty much, on the floor because I can't afford a real bed right now.
I also see clean AND dirty clothes scattered all over. I also see a large mug which is half full of beer... from a week ago. Mmmmmmmmmm. I also know that what I can't see is an ironing board with the iron on it and several piles of clean clothes.
My bathroom is suffering during my legendary mood swing depression moments. I won't even describe what it looks like. I'm already embarrassed to be bringing it up.
My front living area is also looking crappy. It needs vacuumed and a couple weeks worth of unopened mail need to be picked up from various areas of the floor where I've thrown it. There are also large amounts of mail, papers, CD's, clothes, computer manuals and other shit piled in one of my chairs.
The kitchen is as bad as the bathroom. Dirty dishes make up most of the mess. The stove needs to be cleaned. My washer and dryer have shit piled on them. The only thing I've kept accessible is the coffee maker. But as it stands, I'm out of coffee mugs to drink coffee out of. Come to think of it, I'm so poor lately, I'm even out of coffee.
GASP! Where's my Starbucks barista girlfriend when I need her?
My cupboards contain very few things to eat or the dishes in which to eat meals off of. Hence the sink full of dirty dishes. I do have a nice selection of Ramen noodles and 15 cans of tuna for bountiful, horn-o-plenty serving of tuna fish sandwiches.
I also have a box of store brand corn flakes. Oh, I also have some of those animal cookies that are coated in that white and pink frosting with sprinkles on top.
I also have a couple of boxes of Betty Crocker Instant Potatoes in the delicious flavors of "Butter & Herb" or "Garlic Butter". I have a box of Hamburger Helper, too. Alas, I have no hamburger nor do I have the milk which assists in making those potatoes.
I do have some eggs, though. And a few pickles that are quite tasty. I have three bottles of salad dressing but no salad components. I have some applesauce. Actually, I might have some of that right now. But I'll need to wash a bowl.
My freezer contains one TV dinner. I believe it's turkey breast slices with gravy and peas. I also have a huge bag of Otter Pops that I've only touched once. I believe I bought those back in August.
This weekend I'm going to clean up my place. I might call in a hazmat team for the bathroom. I think I heard my own toilet sobbing due to my lack of care for it's cleanliness.
OK, maybe it isn't THAT bad. Actually, yes it is.
I just told my vacuum it better be ready for some work tomorrow. It just snickered at me and said: "Yeah, right. Whatever." Fucking mouthy Dirt Devil.
*yells to other room*
"I'm going to go by a Dyson and show you, you cheap piece of shit!"
"Oh yeah? You couldn't even afford a Glade Plug-in to make this place appear to SMELL nice, fuckstick!" yells my vacuum.
Did my vacuum just call me a "fuckstick"? What the hell does that even mean?
And am I actually relaying a fake conversation I'm having with my vacuum?
Did I have a lobotomy recently and forgot about it?
"No, you're just a crazy loon, you stupid douche!" says my vacuum.
Ooooooookkkkkkkkkkkk... time for Mike to see a therapist.
But not before I bitch slap the damn vacuum for being a smart ass.
-Mike The Janitor
©2007
Millenoma Publishing
Presently where I'm sitting is what I call my "TV Room". In theory, it should be a second bedroom. But since it's just me living here, I have my 27" television set up in here along with my surround sound DVD system and X-Box.
I also use it as my little internet office. My blog compound. To my left are a couple of large windows. The windowsill closest to me has empty beer cans sitting on it.
To my right is a small bookshelf with empty beer cans on it, some coffee mugs (a couple with half drank coffee in them) and stacks of copied CD's that sit right on top of my printer that sits on top of the small bookshelf.
On top of the stacks of CD's is a used cereal bowl from last week.
Scattered about the floor in front of me are more copied CD's, some autographed CD's, my 35mm Pentax film camera, my Staples "Easy Button" (which makes me laugh because I would love to be able to hit that son-of-a-bitch and get it to clean this crap up), a lamp, my headphones, a couple of copies of "Entertainment Weekly" and still more empty beer cans. Oh, wait... no... one of those beer cans is half full.
Across the way is the door to my bedroom which I can see partially right now. Within clear view is my air bed. I've lived here six months and still sleep, pretty much, on the floor because I can't afford a real bed right now.
I also see clean AND dirty clothes scattered all over. I also see a large mug which is half full of beer... from a week ago. Mmmmmmmmmm. I also know that what I can't see is an ironing board with the iron on it and several piles of clean clothes.
My bathroom is suffering during my legendary mood swing depression moments. I won't even describe what it looks like. I'm already embarrassed to be bringing it up.
My front living area is also looking crappy. It needs vacuumed and a couple weeks worth of unopened mail need to be picked up from various areas of the floor where I've thrown it. There are also large amounts of mail, papers, CD's, clothes, computer manuals and other shit piled in one of my chairs.
The kitchen is as bad as the bathroom. Dirty dishes make up most of the mess. The stove needs to be cleaned. My washer and dryer have shit piled on them. The only thing I've kept accessible is the coffee maker. But as it stands, I'm out of coffee mugs to drink coffee out of. Come to think of it, I'm so poor lately, I'm even out of coffee.
GASP! Where's my Starbucks barista girlfriend when I need her?
My cupboards contain very few things to eat or the dishes in which to eat meals off of. Hence the sink full of dirty dishes. I do have a nice selection of Ramen noodles and 15 cans of tuna for bountiful, horn-o-plenty serving of tuna fish sandwiches.
I also have a box of store brand corn flakes. Oh, I also have some of those animal cookies that are coated in that white and pink frosting with sprinkles on top.
I also have a couple of boxes of Betty Crocker Instant Potatoes in the delicious flavors of "Butter & Herb" or "Garlic Butter". I have a box of Hamburger Helper, too. Alas, I have no hamburger nor do I have the milk which assists in making those potatoes.
I do have some eggs, though. And a few pickles that are quite tasty. I have three bottles of salad dressing but no salad components. I have some applesauce. Actually, I might have some of that right now. But I'll need to wash a bowl.
My freezer contains one TV dinner. I believe it's turkey breast slices with gravy and peas. I also have a huge bag of Otter Pops that I've only touched once. I believe I bought those back in August.
This weekend I'm going to clean up my place. I might call in a hazmat team for the bathroom. I think I heard my own toilet sobbing due to my lack of care for it's cleanliness.
OK, maybe it isn't THAT bad. Actually, yes it is.
I just told my vacuum it better be ready for some work tomorrow. It just snickered at me and said: "Yeah, right. Whatever." Fucking mouthy Dirt Devil.
*yells to other room*
"I'm going to go by a Dyson and show you, you cheap piece of shit!"
"Oh yeah? You couldn't even afford a Glade Plug-in to make this place appear to SMELL nice, fuckstick!" yells my vacuum.
Did my vacuum just call me a "fuckstick"? What the hell does that even mean?
And am I actually relaying a fake conversation I'm having with my vacuum?
Did I have a lobotomy recently and forgot about it?
"No, you're just a crazy loon, you stupid douche!" says my vacuum.
Ooooooookkkkkkkkkkkk... time for Mike to see a therapist.
But not before I bitch slap the damn vacuum for being a smart ass.
-Mike The Janitor
©2007
Millenoma Publishing
2.15.2007
At least I'm not that guy
Mmmmmmmm... I love Red Vines. I'm chewing on a few right now as I settle in to write this blog.
I was thinking today while I was out and about with my lame ass job how I am glad I'm not other people I encounter or view throughout the day.
This is not to say that I am better than most. I'm not. I am, however, better than some and have things in my life to be grateful for. Of course, I also have serious issues plaguing my life that I'm not grateful for at all. Nor should I be.
And it's these issues that put me in deep thought. Sometimes too deep. The kind of deep that is slowly drowning me and I'm trying desperately to swim to shore because I lost my snorkel.
As we all know, people fall into all kinds of catagories and classes.
I'm in the "Self-Destructive-Single-White-Male-Too-Busy-Feeling-Sorry-For-Himself-To-Snap-Out-Of-It-And-Apply-Himself-To-Anything-Or-Anyone-Worthwhile-And-Turn-His-Life-Around" category.
I believe that I'm in the "Blue Collar" class.
However, there are some that are on the rungs of the life ladder that are much lower than mine.
For instance, the guy with the trucker hat and mullet chowing down on something from the .99 cent menu at McDonalds in his primered piece-of-shit Camero. Sitting shotgun is his white trash wife or girlfriend doing none other than taking a hit of some illegal substance from a glass pipe.
I stare in amazement as we sit at a red light. The mullet man catches me staring and starts staring at me. At first, I didn't even realize he was staring at me because I was so busy staring at his girl taking her hit.
What snaps me back to reality is the guy screaming, with a mouthful of hamburger: "What the fuck are you looking at, asshole"?!
All I could do was give a slight chuckle and notice the light had turned green. I just faced forward and drove on my merry way.
Then I thought: "Well, at least I'm not that guy"
I recalled a story that my friend Dennis told me about a couple of days ago. Over the weekend, he got a call at around two in the morning that he had to come investigate the death of a three week old baby.
Upon arriving at the home (Dennis, by the way, is one of my longtime friends who is the Detective Sergeant over at the South Jordan Police Department), he was able to determine that the baby had suffered S.I.D.S. - Sudden Infant Death Syndrome.
According to the father, he had laid down on the couch with the newborn baby laying on her stomach on his chest. The baby had been up crying and the father was just trying to console and hold his infant.
Sadly, the father fell asleep shortly after the baby dozed off on his chest. The pressure from the infant laying on it's stomach was too much and it couldn't breathe.
The baby suffocated and died right there on the fathers chest. He awoke about an hour later to discover what had happened.
Tragic.
At least I'm not that guy.
Here in Salt Lake there was a terrible shooting at a popular mall known as Trolley Square. Six people were killed. Four others were seriously injured.
The shooter was an 18 year old kid that was a Bosnian refugee. No one knows, not even his family, why on Earth he did it. He just went to work one day (which is next door to where I work, by the way), did his job, got off work and then went on a killing spree where one of the people he killed was a 15 year old girl. Of the ones he wounded was a 16 year old boy.
The 18 year old Bosnian refugee was killed by police who engaged him in quite the firefight. One cop is being made out to be a hero. That officer was off duty and at Trolley Square with his wife for an early Valentine's Day dinner.
That night changed the lives of many people. Details are still being presented as to what went on at Trolley Square.
For me, I can't help but think of this 18 year old refugee. I feel bad that I couldn't give him a hug and allow him to have someone to talk to. Maybe that's all he really needed.
Senseless, tragic and sad.
At least I'm not that guy.
Then I think about how people view me. Random strangers who see me lugging mortar mix and tile through the mud to some job site.
Do they think: "At least I'm not that guy"?
What of the people I've worked with in radio? Are some of them who knew I had the potential and creative genious let down by my constant failures?
Do they think: "At least I'm not that guy"?
What of others I've encountered in my life? Perhaps they're watching me from a distance now by reading shit like this.
Do they think: "At least I'm not that guy"?
You know, I woke up this morning with a MASSIVE erection. I'm not kidding. Do you have any idea how hard it is to urinate with an erection? I decided to make it go away by pleasuring myself.
And do you know who I fantasized about that brought me to a great climax and ability to pee comfortably?
I'm not telling but I bet she knows who she is.
At least YOU'RE not this guy.
As much as I hate to admit it, I'm slowly dying on the inside. Not even the sound of these keys clicking under my fingers are able to help me find comfort in the words that I type.
Maybe "The Office" will cheer me up.
-Mike The Janitor
©2007
Millenoma Publishing
I was thinking today while I was out and about with my lame ass job how I am glad I'm not other people I encounter or view throughout the day.
This is not to say that I am better than most. I'm not. I am, however, better than some and have things in my life to be grateful for. Of course, I also have serious issues plaguing my life that I'm not grateful for at all. Nor should I be.
And it's these issues that put me in deep thought. Sometimes too deep. The kind of deep that is slowly drowning me and I'm trying desperately to swim to shore because I lost my snorkel.
As we all know, people fall into all kinds of catagories and classes.
I'm in the "Self-Destructive-Single-White-Male-Too-Busy-Feeling-Sorry-For-Himself-To-Snap-Out-Of-It-And-Apply-Himself-To-Anything-Or-Anyone-Worthwhile-And-Turn-His-Life-Around" category.
I believe that I'm in the "Blue Collar" class.
However, there are some that are on the rungs of the life ladder that are much lower than mine.
For instance, the guy with the trucker hat and mullet chowing down on something from the .99 cent menu at McDonalds in his primered piece-of-shit Camero. Sitting shotgun is his white trash wife or girlfriend doing none other than taking a hit of some illegal substance from a glass pipe.
I stare in amazement as we sit at a red light. The mullet man catches me staring and starts staring at me. At first, I didn't even realize he was staring at me because I was so busy staring at his girl taking her hit.
What snaps me back to reality is the guy screaming, with a mouthful of hamburger: "What the fuck are you looking at, asshole"?!
All I could do was give a slight chuckle and notice the light had turned green. I just faced forward and drove on my merry way.
Then I thought: "Well, at least I'm not that guy"
I recalled a story that my friend Dennis told me about a couple of days ago. Over the weekend, he got a call at around two in the morning that he had to come investigate the death of a three week old baby.
Upon arriving at the home (Dennis, by the way, is one of my longtime friends who is the Detective Sergeant over at the South Jordan Police Department), he was able to determine that the baby had suffered S.I.D.S. - Sudden Infant Death Syndrome.
According to the father, he had laid down on the couch with the newborn baby laying on her stomach on his chest. The baby had been up crying and the father was just trying to console and hold his infant.
Sadly, the father fell asleep shortly after the baby dozed off on his chest. The pressure from the infant laying on it's stomach was too much and it couldn't breathe.
The baby suffocated and died right there on the fathers chest. He awoke about an hour later to discover what had happened.
Tragic.
At least I'm not that guy.
Here in Salt Lake there was a terrible shooting at a popular mall known as Trolley Square. Six people were killed. Four others were seriously injured.
The shooter was an 18 year old kid that was a Bosnian refugee. No one knows, not even his family, why on Earth he did it. He just went to work one day (which is next door to where I work, by the way), did his job, got off work and then went on a killing spree where one of the people he killed was a 15 year old girl. Of the ones he wounded was a 16 year old boy.
The 18 year old Bosnian refugee was killed by police who engaged him in quite the firefight. One cop is being made out to be a hero. That officer was off duty and at Trolley Square with his wife for an early Valentine's Day dinner.
That night changed the lives of many people. Details are still being presented as to what went on at Trolley Square.
For me, I can't help but think of this 18 year old refugee. I feel bad that I couldn't give him a hug and allow him to have someone to talk to. Maybe that's all he really needed.
Senseless, tragic and sad.
At least I'm not that guy.
Then I think about how people view me. Random strangers who see me lugging mortar mix and tile through the mud to some job site.
Do they think: "At least I'm not that guy"?
What of the people I've worked with in radio? Are some of them who knew I had the potential and creative genious let down by my constant failures?
Do they think: "At least I'm not that guy"?
What of others I've encountered in my life? Perhaps they're watching me from a distance now by reading shit like this.
Do they think: "At least I'm not that guy"?
You know, I woke up this morning with a MASSIVE erection. I'm not kidding. Do you have any idea how hard it is to urinate with an erection? I decided to make it go away by pleasuring myself.
And do you know who I fantasized about that brought me to a great climax and ability to pee comfortably?
I'm not telling but I bet she knows who she is.
At least YOU'RE not this guy.
As much as I hate to admit it, I'm slowly dying on the inside. Not even the sound of these keys clicking under my fingers are able to help me find comfort in the words that I type.
Maybe "The Office" will cheer me up.
-Mike The Janitor
©2007
Millenoma Publishing
2.12.2007
The 49th *barf* Annual *barf* Grammy *barf* Awards
I feel bad for being excited to want to watch one of the few awards shows I actually CARE to see.
I also feel bad for encouraging YOU to enjoy in the viewership with me.
The 49th Annual Grammy Awards sucked balls. It was one of THE WORST produced telecasts I've seen in quite a while.
The show started very abruptly with the reunion of The Police for the first time in almost 30 years. There was no introduction of The Police whatsoever. The show just opend up and there they were launching into "Roxanne".
That was fun, I will admit. I was so glad to see them back.
From there, it was all downhill.
Jamie Foxx came out to present the first award and would not shut up about trying to get the crowd to "make some noise". Just tell us who the nominees are, you douche.
He did make a funny crack about The Police. He claimed that when Snopp Dogg heard "The Police" were going to be at The Grammy's, he took off.
The Black Eyed Peas made complete asses of themselves. This is not the first time I've seen these four presenting (or even winning an award of some sort) and coming off like a bunch or drunk/stoned rejects.
Fergie could barely read the teleprompter while speaking about Booker T. & The MG's getting a Lifetime Achievement Grammy. I also got the idea that NO ONE in the Black Eyed Peas even knew who Booker T. & The MG's were.
I like the Black Eyed Peas music. But I think they should just shut the fuck up when it comes to public appearences that has nothing to do with them perfoming their own music.
Tony Bennett and Stevie Wonder won a Grammy. Tony was so eager to get on stage, he practically left Stevie behind. At one point, you could see Stevie grab for Tony's arm for guideance to the stage. But Tony didn't wait up. He waltzed right up to the stage. Tony looks like he has shrunk as he's gotten older and Stevie has put on some weight.
Mary J. Blige won a couple of Grammys. For her first win, she made sure to sock it to whomever has been bad mouthing her over the years. I'm not sure where this stems from but clearly some people have been giving Mary a bad name. She then went on to read off so many names that the band started up to get her off stage. But she just kept talking.
I also felt that Mary looked really trashy with those tattoos she has. They looked like really bad prison tats on TV.
I'm glad to see Kanye West is still a total cocksucker. He showed up wearing a white hoodie which he had pulled up over his head like a goddamn thug. Put on a suit, asshole.
Gnarls Barkley did an okay performance of "Crazy". It actually started on a small stage out in the middle of the audience. Then frontman, Cee-Lo, walked from the small stage to the main stage. As he did so, he tripped. I thought for sure he was going to fall.
He didn't. Shit. I also noticed that his teeth have not only seemed to get larger but whiter. They kind of scared me.
The Dixie Chicks swept the awards and I'm happy for them. They got a raw deal and this was a nice "fuck you" to those that were all pissed off about that Bush comment that frontwoman, Natalie Maines, made in Texas.
In the end, she was right and always was. During one of their award wins, Natalie quoted the television show "The Simpons" by going "ha ha" in the high pitched, whiny sounding laugh that the bully kid on The Simpsons makes.
I'd also like to point out that I've never been a big fan of the Dixie Chicks (or much country music, for that matter) but their album "Taking The Long Way", for which they scored five Grammys for, made me a fan.
As a matter a fact, they performed "Not Ready To Make Nice" and it was fucking awesome. Between The Police and a medley of music between Corinne Bailey Rae, John Legend and John Mayer, their perfomance was a highlight of this otherwise shitty awards show.
The Grammys also tried to be American Idol by taking three finalists (from a month or so of promotion called "My Grammy Moment") and making one of them into a star.
Interestingly enough, all of the candidates were young, black females. The winner, based on call-in voting by the American audience, would get to perform with Justin Timberlake on stage.
To be honest, I don't know which one of these girls won because I switched off my TV right after 9 PM. I just couldn't take anymore of the poorly produced program.
Carrie Underwood won for Best New Artist and kind of came off like an ego-bitch when getting her award.
Shakira made sure to shake her man goodies on stage with the assistance of Wycleaf Jean as they performed "Hips Don't Lie". I've decided I don't like Shakira and I think she a no talent hack. She sounds the same in all of her songs and has no vocal range in her songs. They are truly pop shit.
Beyoncé performed "Listen," from the Dreamgirls soundtrack. I'm sick of Beyoncé. And I'm sick of "Dreamgirls" being crammed down my throat.
Justin Timberlake performed "What Goes Around Comes Around". Initially performing the song on upright piano, he took center stage with a mini-cam, which he used to shoot his own performance, up close and personal. Whooppee.
Tubby Stevie Wonder came back to the stage (I think he was drunk, too) to introduce "three overwhelmingly incredible artists". Out came Corinne Bailey Rae, John Legend and John Mayer. The three put on the only other best set of music that I enjoyed. Each sang their own song and then joined together at the end.
Rae began the set with her great song "Like A Star," plucking her acoustic guitar and showing off some bad hair. The tempo then switched to John Legend as he sang his ballad, "Coming Home." Rae and Mayer joined in on harmony vocals, before the duo helped Mayer with his kick ass track known as "Gravity." Midway through the song Mayer delivered a ripping Stevie Ray Vaughan inspired solo, which closed the set and brought down the house. It was awesome. Then Mayer won a Grammy right after that.
There were a few other moments I was going to bring to light but I can't really recall them. And who really cares, anyway, right?
You'll be happy to know that out of the 43 catagories I voted on in my "And the nominees are..." blog, I only guessed 18 of them correctly.
Be sure to catch my Oscar® predictions coming up soon. I know the Academy Awards will be so much better and worthwhile. Plus, you can't go wrong with Ellen DeGeneres as the host.
I gotta run... "24" is coming on soon. Here is another television event that is starting to really turn into shit. But I just don't feel like getting into disecting it right now.
-Mike The Janitor
©2007
Millenoma Publishing
I also feel bad for encouraging YOU to enjoy in the viewership with me.
The 49th Annual Grammy Awards sucked balls. It was one of THE WORST produced telecasts I've seen in quite a while.
The show started very abruptly with the reunion of The Police for the first time in almost 30 years. There was no introduction of The Police whatsoever. The show just opend up and there they were launching into "Roxanne".
That was fun, I will admit. I was so glad to see them back.
From there, it was all downhill.
Jamie Foxx came out to present the first award and would not shut up about trying to get the crowd to "make some noise". Just tell us who the nominees are, you douche.
He did make a funny crack about The Police. He claimed that when Snopp Dogg heard "The Police" were going to be at The Grammy's, he took off.
The Black Eyed Peas made complete asses of themselves. This is not the first time I've seen these four presenting (or even winning an award of some sort) and coming off like a bunch or drunk/stoned rejects.
Fergie could barely read the teleprompter while speaking about Booker T. & The MG's getting a Lifetime Achievement Grammy. I also got the idea that NO ONE in the Black Eyed Peas even knew who Booker T. & The MG's were.
I like the Black Eyed Peas music. But I think they should just shut the fuck up when it comes to public appearences that has nothing to do with them perfoming their own music.
Tony Bennett and Stevie Wonder won a Grammy. Tony was so eager to get on stage, he practically left Stevie behind. At one point, you could see Stevie grab for Tony's arm for guideance to the stage. But Tony didn't wait up. He waltzed right up to the stage. Tony looks like he has shrunk as he's gotten older and Stevie has put on some weight.
Mary J. Blige won a couple of Grammys. For her first win, she made sure to sock it to whomever has been bad mouthing her over the years. I'm not sure where this stems from but clearly some people have been giving Mary a bad name. She then went on to read off so many names that the band started up to get her off stage. But she just kept talking.
I also felt that Mary looked really trashy with those tattoos she has. They looked like really bad prison tats on TV.
I'm glad to see Kanye West is still a total cocksucker. He showed up wearing a white hoodie which he had pulled up over his head like a goddamn thug. Put on a suit, asshole.
Gnarls Barkley did an okay performance of "Crazy". It actually started on a small stage out in the middle of the audience. Then frontman, Cee-Lo, walked from the small stage to the main stage. As he did so, he tripped. I thought for sure he was going to fall.
He didn't. Shit. I also noticed that his teeth have not only seemed to get larger but whiter. They kind of scared me.
The Dixie Chicks swept the awards and I'm happy for them. They got a raw deal and this was a nice "fuck you" to those that were all pissed off about that Bush comment that frontwoman, Natalie Maines, made in Texas.
In the end, she was right and always was. During one of their award wins, Natalie quoted the television show "The Simpons" by going "ha ha" in the high pitched, whiny sounding laugh that the bully kid on The Simpsons makes.
I'd also like to point out that I've never been a big fan of the Dixie Chicks (or much country music, for that matter) but their album "Taking The Long Way", for which they scored five Grammys for, made me a fan.
As a matter a fact, they performed "Not Ready To Make Nice" and it was fucking awesome. Between The Police and a medley of music between Corinne Bailey Rae, John Legend and John Mayer, their perfomance was a highlight of this otherwise shitty awards show.
The Grammys also tried to be American Idol by taking three finalists (from a month or so of promotion called "My Grammy Moment") and making one of them into a star.
Interestingly enough, all of the candidates were young, black females. The winner, based on call-in voting by the American audience, would get to perform with Justin Timberlake on stage.
To be honest, I don't know which one of these girls won because I switched off my TV right after 9 PM. I just couldn't take anymore of the poorly produced program.
Carrie Underwood won for Best New Artist and kind of came off like an ego-bitch when getting her award.
Shakira made sure to shake her man goodies on stage with the assistance of Wycleaf Jean as they performed "Hips Don't Lie". I've decided I don't like Shakira and I think she a no talent hack. She sounds the same in all of her songs and has no vocal range in her songs. They are truly pop shit.
Beyoncé performed "Listen," from the Dreamgirls soundtrack. I'm sick of Beyoncé. And I'm sick of "Dreamgirls" being crammed down my throat.
Justin Timberlake performed "What Goes Around Comes Around". Initially performing the song on upright piano, he took center stage with a mini-cam, which he used to shoot his own performance, up close and personal. Whooppee.
Tubby Stevie Wonder came back to the stage (I think he was drunk, too) to introduce "three overwhelmingly incredible artists". Out came Corinne Bailey Rae, John Legend and John Mayer. The three put on the only other best set of music that I enjoyed. Each sang their own song and then joined together at the end.
Rae began the set with her great song "Like A Star," plucking her acoustic guitar and showing off some bad hair. The tempo then switched to John Legend as he sang his ballad, "Coming Home." Rae and Mayer joined in on harmony vocals, before the duo helped Mayer with his kick ass track known as "Gravity." Midway through the song Mayer delivered a ripping Stevie Ray Vaughan inspired solo, which closed the set and brought down the house. It was awesome. Then Mayer won a Grammy right after that.
There were a few other moments I was going to bring to light but I can't really recall them. And who really cares, anyway, right?
You'll be happy to know that out of the 43 catagories I voted on in my "And the nominees are..." blog, I only guessed 18 of them correctly.
Be sure to catch my Oscar® predictions coming up soon. I know the Academy Awards will be so much better and worthwhile. Plus, you can't go wrong with Ellen DeGeneres as the host.
I gotta run... "24" is coming on soon. Here is another television event that is starting to really turn into shit. But I just don't feel like getting into disecting it right now.
-Mike The Janitor
©2007
Millenoma Publishing
2.10.2007
And the nominees are...
Tomorrow night, (Sunday, February 11th) will be a night of fun and celebration for musicians and their fans.
It's the 49th Annual Grammy® Awards live on CBS! HOT DOG!
I'm excited because The Police will be performing together for the first time in about 30 years.
We're talking The Police here, my cyber peeps! THE POLICE! Sting, Andy Summers and Stewart Copeland! THE GOT-DAMN POLICE!
Rumor has it they are also planning to tour again. NOW WAY! I'm so there. I'd pay top dollar to see that show. I'm a huge fan of Sting and The Police and that would be a highlight concert of my life. Like seeing Pink Floyd or Peter Gabriel or Sarah McLachlan or Flavor Flav! OK, I'm kidding about Flavor Flav.
Anyway, here is a list of some of the more important nominees of tomorrow night. Well, they are all important. But there are over 100 categories and I'm only going to list the ones that I think most people care about enough to watch the Grammys.
I'll list each nominee and select the one I feel is going to win. Enjoy my exclusive coverage of Grammy night 2007!
THE POLICE PERFORMING LIVE! HOT DAMN, I TELL YOU! HOT DAMN!
And the nominees are:
Category 1
Record Of The Year
(Award to the Artist and to the Producer(s), Recording Engineer(s) and/or Mixer(s), if other than the artist.)
Be Without You
Mary J. Blige
Bryan-Michael Cox, producer; Danny Cheung, Tal Herzberg & Dave "Hard-Drive"
Pensado, engineers/mixers
Track from: The Breakthrough
[Geffen Records]
You're Beautiful
James Blunt
Tom Rothrock, producer; Tom Rothrock & Mike Tarantino, engineers/mixers
Track from: Back To Bedlam
[Custard/Atlantic]
Not Ready To Make Nice - WINNER!
Dixie Chicks
Rick Rubin, producer; Richard Dodd, Jim Scott & Chris Testa, engineers/mixers
Track from: Taking The Long Way
[Open Wide/Columbia]
Crazy
Gnarls Barkley
Danger Mouse, producer; Ben H. Allen, Danger Mouse & Kennie Takahashi,
engineers/mixers
Track from: St. Elsewhere
[Downtown/Atlantic]
Put Your Records On
Corinne Bailey Rae
Steve Chrisanthou, producer; Steve Chrisanthou & Jeremy Wheatley,
engineers/mixers
Track from: Corinne Bailey Rae
[Capitol]
Category 2
Album Of The Year
(Award to the Artist(s) and to the Album Producer(s), Recording Engineer(s)/Mixer(s) & Mastering Engineer(s), if other than the artist.)
Taking The Long Way
Dixie Chicks
Rick Rubin, producer; Richard Dodd, Jim Scott & Chris Testa, engineers/mixers;
Richard Dodd, mastering engineer
[Open Wide/Columbia]
St. Elsewhere - WINNER!
Gnarls Barkley
Danger Mouse, producer; Ben H. Allen, Danger Mouse & Kennie Takahashi,
engineers/mixers; Mike Lazer, mastering engineer
[Downtown/Atlantic]
Continuum
John Mayer
Steve Jordan & John Mayer, producers; John Alagia, Michael Brauer, Joe Ferla,
Chad Franscoviak, Manny Marroquin & Dave O'Donnell, engineers/mixers; Greg
Calbi, mastering engineer
[Aware/Columbia]
Stadium Arcadium
Red Hot Chili Peppers
Rick Rubin, producer; Ryan Hewitt, Mark Linette & Andrew Scheps,
engineers/mixers; Vlado Meller, mastering engineer
[Warner Bros.]
FutureSex/LoveSounds
Justin Timberlake
Nate (Danga) Hills, Jawbreakers, Rick Rubin, Timbaland & Justin Timberlake,
producers; Jimmy Douglass, Serban Ghenea, Padraic Kerin, Jason Lader, Andrew
Scheps, Timbaland & Ethan Willoughby, engineers/mixers; Herb Powers, Jr.,
mastering engineer
[Jive Records/Zomba Label Group]
Category 3
Song Of The Year
(A Songwriter(s) Award. A song is eligible if it was first released or if it first achieved prominence during the Eligibility Year. (Artist names appear in parenthesis.) Singles or Tracks only.)
Be Without You
Johnta Austin, Mary J. Blige, Bryan-Michael Cox & Jason Perry, songwriters (Mary
J. Blige)
Track from: The Breakthrough
[Geffen Records; Publishers: Chrysalis Music, Mary J. Blige Music, Naked Under My Clothes Music, Universal Music Corp., Babyboy's Little Publishing, Jason's Lyrics, Noontime South, Reach Global Tunes, WB Music.]
Jesus, Take The Wheel
Brett James, Hillary Lindsey & Gordie Sampson, songwriters (Carrie Underwood)
Track from: Some Hearts
[Arista/Arista Nashville/19; Publishers: Dimensional Music of 1091/Sony/ATV Cross Keys Publishing, Raylene Music/BPJ Administration, No Such Music, Passing Stranger Music/1609 Songs/Music of Windswept.]
Not Ready To Make Nice
Martie Maguire, Natalie Maines, Emily Robison & Dan Wilson, songwriters (Dixie
Chicks)
Track from: Taking The Long Way
[Open Wide/Columbia; Publishers: Woolly Puddin' Music, Chrysalis Music, Sugar Lake Music.]
Put Your Records On - WINNER!
John Beck, Steve Chrisanthou & Corinne Bailey Rae, songwriters (Corinne Bailey
Rae)
Track from: Corinne Bailey Rae
[Capitol; Publisher: Global Talent Publishing.]
You're Beautiful
James Blunt, Amanda Ghost & Sacha Skarbek, songwriters (James Blunt)
Track from: Back To Bedlam
[Custard/Atlantic; Publishers: EMI Blackwood Music, David Platz Music.]
Category 4
Best New Artist
(For a new artist who releases, during the Eligibility Year, the first recording which establishes the public identity of that artist.)
James Blunt - WINNER!
Chris Brown
Imogen Heap
Corinne Bailey Rae
Carrie Underwood
Field 1 - Pop
Category 5
Best Female Pop Vocal Performance
(For a solo vocal performance. Singles or Tracks only.)
Ain't No Other Man
Christina Aguilera
Track from: Back To Basics
[RCA Records]
Unwritten
Natasha Bedingfield
Track from: Unwritten
[Epic/Phonogenic]
You Can Close Your Eyes
Sheryl Crow
Track from: Sheryl Crow Artist's Choice Deluxe Edition
[Hear Music/Universal Music]
Stupid Girls - WINNER!
Pink
Track from: I'm Not Dead
[LaFace/Zomba Label Group]
Black Horse And The Cherry Tree
KT Tunstall
[Relentless/Virgin]
Category 6
Best Male Pop Vocal Performance
(For a solo vocal performance. Singles or Tracks only.)
You're Beautiful - WINNER!
James Blunt
Track from: Back To Bedlam
[Custard/Atlantic]
Save Room
John Legend
Track from: Once Again
[Columbia/GOOD/Sony Urban]
Waiting On The World To Change
John Mayer
Track from: Continuum
[Aware/Columbia]
Jenny Wren
Paul McCartney
Track from: Chaos And Creation In The Backyard
[Capitol]
Bad Day
Daniel Powter
Track from: Daniel Powter
[Warner Bros.]
Category 7
Best Pop Performance By A Duo Or Group With Vocal
(For established duos or groups, with vocals. Singles or Tracks only.)
My Humps
The Black Eyed Peas
Track from: Monkey Business
[A&M Records]
I Will Follow You Into The Dark
Death Cab For Cutie
Track from: Plans
[Atlantic Records]
Over My Head (Cable Car) - WINNER!
The Fray
Track from: How To Save A Life
[Epic]
Is It Any Wonder?
Keane
Track from: Under The Iron Sea
[Interscope Records]
Stickwitu
The Pussycat Dolls
Track from: PCD
[A&M Records]
Category 8
Best Pop Collaboration With Vocals
(For a collaborative performance, with vocals, by artists who do not normally perform together. Singles or Tracks only.)
For Once In My Life
Tony Bennett & Stevie Wonder
Track from: Duets: An American Classic
[RPM Records/Columbia]
One
Mary J. Blige & U2
Track from: The Breakthrough
[Geffen/Matriarch Records]
Always On Your Side
Sheryl Crow & Sting
Track from: Wildflower
[A&M Records]
Promiscuous - WINNER!
Nelly Furtado & Timbaland
Track from: Loose
[Geffen/Mosley Music Group]
Hips Don't Lie
Shakira & Wyclef Jean
Track from: Oral Fixation Vol. 2
[Epic]
Category 11
Best Pop Vocal Album
(For albums containing 51% or more playing time of VOCAL tracks.)
Back To Basics
Christina Aguilera
[RCA Records]
Back To Bedlam - WINNER!
James Blunt
[Custard/Atlantic]
The River In Reverse
Elvis Costello & Allen Toussaint
[Verve Forecast]
Continuum
John Mayer
[Aware/Columbia]
FutureSex/LoveSounds
Justin Timberlake
[Jive Records/Zomba Label Group]
Field 2 - Dance
Category 12
Best Dance Recording
(For solo, duo, group or collaborative performances. Vocal or Instrumental. Singles or tracks only.)
Suffer Well
Depeche Mode
Ben Hillier, producer; Steve Fitzmaurice & Ben Hillier, mixers
Track from: Playing The Angel
[Sire/Reprise/Mute]
Ooh La La
Goldfrapp
Goldfrapp, producers; Mark "Spike" Stent, mixer
Track from: Supernature
[Mute]
Get Together
Madonna
Madonna & Stuart Price, producers; Mark "Spike" Stent, mixer
Track from: Confessions On A Dance Floor
[Warner Bros.]
I'm With Stupid
Pet Shop Boys
Trevor Horn, producer; Robert Orton, mixer
Track from: Fundamental
[Rhino Entertainment]
Sexy Back - WINNER!
Justin Timberlake & Timbaland
Danja, Timbaland & Justin Timberlake, producers; Jimmy Douglass, mixer
[Jive Records/Zomba Label Group]
Category 13
Best Electronic/Dance Album
(For vocal or instrumental albums. Albums only.)
Supernature
Goldfrapp
[Mute]
Confessions On A Dance Floor
Madonna
[Warner Bros.]
A Lively Mind - WINNER!
Oakenfold
[Maverick]
Fundamental
Pet Shop Boys
[Rhino Entertainment]
The Garden
Zero 7
[Atlantic]
Field 3 - Traditional Pop
Category 14
Best Traditional Pop Vocal Album
(For albums containing 51% or more playing time of VOCAL tracks.)
Duets: An American Classic - WINNER!
Tony Bennett
[RPM Records/Columbia]
Caught In The Act
Michael Buble
[143-Reprise]
Wintersong
Sarah McLachlan
[Arista Records/Nettwerk]
Bette Midler Sings The Peggy Lee Songbook
Bette Midler
[Columbia]
Timeless Love
Smokey Robinson
[New Door Records]
Field 4 - Rock
Category 15
Best Solo Rock Vocal Performance
(For a solo vocal performance. Singles or Tracks only.)
Nausea
Beck
[Interscope Records]
Someday Baby
Bob Dylan
Track from: Modern Times
[Columbia]
Route 66
John Mayer
Track from: Cars - Soundtrack (Various Artists)
[Disney]
Saving Grace - WINNER!
Tom Petty
Track from: Highway Companion
[American]
Lookin' For A Leader
Neil Young
Track from: Living With War
[Reprise]
Category 16
Best Rock Performance By A Duo Or Group With Vocal
(For duo, group or collaborative performances, with vocals. Singles or Tracks only.)
Talk
Coldplay
Track from: X&Y
[Capitol]
How To Save A Life
The Fray
Track from: How To Save A Life
[Epic]
Steady, As She Goes
The Raconteurs
Track from: Broken Boy Soldiers
[V2/Third Man Records]
Dani California - WINNER!
Red Hot Chili Peppers
Track from: Stadium Arcadium
[Warner Bros.]
The Saints Are Coming
U2 & Green Day
[Interscope Records/Warner Bros.]
Category 17
Best Hard Rock Performance
(For solo, duo, group or collaborative performances, with vocals. Singles or Tracks only.)
Crazy Bitch
Buckcherry
[Eleven Seven Music]
Every Day Is Exactly The Same
Nine Inch Nails
Track from: With Teeth
[nothing/Interscope Records]
Lonely Day
System Of A Down
Track from: Hypnotize
[American/Columbia]
Vicarious - WINNER!
Tool
Track from: 10,000 Days
[Volcano/Zomba Label Group]
Woman
Wolfmother
Track from: Wolfmother
[Modular/Interscope Records]
Category 18
Best Metal Performance
(For solo, duo, group or collaborative performances, with vocals. Singles or Tracks only.)
Redneck
Lamb Of God
Track from: Sacrament
[Epic]
Colony Of Birchmen
Mastodon
Track from: Blood Mountain
[Reprise/Relapse Records]
Lies, Lies, Lies
Ministry
Track from: Rio Grande Blood
[13th Planet Records/Megaforce Records]
Eyes Of The Insane
Slayer
Track from: Christ Illusion
[American]
30/30-150 - WINNER!
Stone Sour
[Roadrunner Records]
Category 20
Best Rock Song
(A Songwriter(s) Award. Includes Rock, Hard Rock & Metal songs. For Song Eligibility Guidelines see Category #3. (Artist names appear in parenthesis.) Singles or Tracks only.)
Chasing Cars - WINNER!
Nathan Connolly, Gary Lightbody, Jonny Quinn, Tom Simpson & Paul Wilson,
songwriters (Snow Patrol)
Track from: Eyes Open
[A&M Records; Publisher: Big Life Music.]
Dani California
Flea, John Frusciante, Anthony Kiedis & Chad Smith, songwriters (Red Hot Chili
Peppers)
Track from: Stadium Arcadium
[Warner Bros.; Publisher: Moebetoblame Music.]
Lookin' For A Leader
Neil Young, songwriter (Neil Young)
Track from: Living With War
[Reprise; Publisher: Silver Fiddle Music.]
Someday Baby
Bob Dylan, songwriter (Bob Dylan)
Track from: Modern Times
[Columbia; Publisher: Bob Dylan.]
When You Were Young
Brandon Flowers, Dave Keuning, Mark Stoermer & Ronnie Vannucci, songwriters (The
Killers)
[Island Records; Publisher: Universal-Polygram Int.]
Category 21
Best Rock Album
(Vocal or Instrumental. Includes Hard Rock and Metal.)
Try!
John Mayer Trio
[Aware/Columbia]
Highway Companion - WINNER!
Tom Petty
[American]
Broken Boy Soldiers
The Raconteurs
[V2/Third Man Records]
Stadium Arcadium
Red Hot Chili Peppers
[Warner Bros.]
Living With War
Neil Young
[Reprise]
Field 5 - Alternative
Category 22
Best Alternative Music Album
(Vocal or Instrumental.)
Whatever People Say I Am, That's What I'm Not
Arctic Monkeys
[Domino Recording]
At War With The Mystics
The Flaming Lips
[Warner Bros.]
St. Elsewhere - WINNER!
Gnarls Barkley
[Downtown/Atlantic]
Show Your Bones
Yeah Yeah Yeahs
[Interscope Records]
The Eraser
Thom Yorke
[XL Recordings]
Field 6 - R&B
Category 23
Best Female R&B Vocal Performance
(For a solo vocal performance. Singles or Tracks only.)
Ring The Alarm
Beyonce
Track from: B'Day
[Sony Urban Music/Columbia]
Be Without You
Mary J. Blige
Track from: The Breakthrough
[Geffen Records]
Don't Forget About Us - WINNER!
Mariah Carey
Track from: The Emancipation Of Mimi (Ultra Platinum Edition)
[Island Records]
Day Dreaming
Natalie Cole
Track from: Leavin'
[Verve Records]
I Am Not My Hair
India.Arie
Track from: Testimony: Vol. 1, Life & Relationship
[Motown Records]
Category 24
Best Male R&B Vocal Performance
(For a solo vocal performance. Singles or Tracks only.)
Heaven - WINNER!
John Legend
Track from: Once Again
[Columbia/GOOD/Sony Urban Music]
So Sick
Ne-Yo
Track from: In My Own Words
[Def Jam Recordings]
Black Sweat
Prince
Track from: 3121
[Universal Records]
I Call It Love
Lionel Richie
Track from: Coming Home
[Island Def Jam Recordings]
Got You Home
Luther Vandross
[J Records/Epic/Legacy Recordings]
Category 25
Best R&B Performance By A Duo Or Group With Vocals
(For duo, group or collaborative performances, with vocals. Singles or Tracks only.)
Breezin'
George Benson & Al Jarreau
Track from: Givin' It Up
[Concord Records/Monster Music]
Love Changes
Jamie Foxx Featuring Mary J. Blige
Track from: Unpredictable
[J Records]
Everyday (Family Reunion)
Chaka Khan, Gerald Levert, Yolanda Adams & Carl Thomas
Track from: Madea's Family Reunion - Music From The Motion Picture
[Motown Records]
Family Affair
(Sly & The Family Stone), John Legend, Joss Stone With Van Hunt
Track from: Different Strokes By Different Folks
[Epic/Legacy Recordings]
Beautiful, Loved And Blessed - WINNER!
Prince & Tmar
Track from: 3121
[Universal Records]
Category 27
Best Urban/Alternative Performance
(For solo, duo, group or collaborative performances, with vocals. Singles or Tracks only.)
Crazy - WINNER!
Gnarls Barkley
Track from: St. Elsewhere
[Downtown/Atlantic]
That Heat
Segio Mendes Featuring Erykah Badu & Will.i.am
Track from: Timeless
[Concord Records/Hear Music]
Mas Que Nada
Sergio Mendes Featuring The Black Eyed Peas
Track from: Timeless
[Concord Records/Hear Music/Will.i.am music]
Idlewild Blue (Don't Chu Worry 'Bout Me)
Outkast
Track from: Idlewild
[La Face Records/Zomba Label Group]
3121
Prince
Track from: 3121
[Universal Records]
Category 28
Best R&B Song
(A Songwriter(s) Award. For Song Eligibility Guidelines see Category #3. (Artist names appear in parenthesis.) Singles or Tracks only.)
Be Without You - WINNER!
Johnta Austin, Mary J. Blige, Bryan-Michael Cox & Jason Perry, songwriters (Mary
J. Blige)
Track from: The Breakthrough
[Geffen Records; Publishers: Chrysalis Music, Mary J. Blige Music, Naked Under My Clothes Music, Universal Music Corp., Babyboy's Little Publishing, Jason's Lyrics, Noontime South, Reach Global Tunes, WB Music.]
Black Sweat
Prince, songwriter (Prince)
Track from: 3121
[Universal Records; Publisher: Controversy Music.]
Deja Vu
Shawn Carter, Rodney "Darkchild" Jerkins, Beyonce Knowles, Makeba, Keli Nicole
Price & Delisha Thomas, songwriters (Beyonce Featuring Jay-Z)
[Sony Urban Music/Columbia; Publishers: Beyonce Publishing, EMI Blackwood Music, 23000 Music Publishing, Makeba Yoga Flames Music/Janice Combs Publishing/EMI Blackwood, Price Tag, EMI April Music/Carter Boys Publishing.]
Don't Forget About Us
Johnta Austin, Mariah Carey, Bryan-Michael Cox & Jermaine Dupri, songwriters
(Mariah Carey)
Track from: The Emancipation Of Mimi (Ultra Platinum Edition)
[Island Records; Publishers: Rye Songs, Shaniah Cymone Music, EMI April Music, Babyboy's Little Publishing Company, Noontime South, Naked Under My Clothes, Chrysalis Music.]
I Am Not My Hair
Drew Ramsey, Shannon Sanders & India Arie Simpson, songwriters (India.Arie)
Track from: Testimony: Vol. 1, Life & Relationship
[Motown Records; Publishers: Gold & Iron Music, Wang Out Music Sony, Combustion Windswept, Noka International/Famous Music.]
Category 29
Best R&B Album
(For albums containing 51% or more playing time of VOCAL tracks.)
The Breakthrough
Mary J. Blige
[Geffen Records]
Unpredictable
Jamie Foxx
[J Records]
Testimony: Vol. 1, Life & Relationship
India.Arie
[Motown Records]
3121 - WINNER!
Prince
[Universal Republic]
Coming Home
Lionel Richie
[Island Def Jam Recordings]
Category 30
Best Contemporary R&B Album
(For albums containing 51% or more playing time of VOCAL tracks.)
B'Day - WINNER!
Beyonce
[Sony Urban Music/Columbia]
Chris Brown
Chris Brown
[Jive Records/Zomba Label Group]
20 Y.O.
Janet Jackson
[Virgin Records]
Kelis Was Here
Kelis
[Jive Records/Zomba Label Group/Dope Entertainment]
In My Own Words
Ne-Yo
[Def Jam Recordings]
Field 7 - Rap
Category 31
Best Rap Solo Performance
(For a solo Rap performance. Singles or Tracks only.)
Touch It
Busta Rhymes
Track from: The Big Bang
[Aftermath/Interscope Records]
We Run This
Missy Elliott
Track from: The Cookbook
[Goldmind/Atlantic]
Kick, Push
Lupe Fiasco
Track from: Lupe Fiasco's Food & Liquor
[1st & 15th/Atlantic]
Undeniable - WINNER!
Mos Def
[Geffen Records]
What You Know
T.I.
Track from: King
[Grand Hustle/Atlantic]
Category 32
Best Rap Performance By A Duo Or Group
(For duo, group or collaborative performances of Rap only. Singles or Tracks only.)
Ridin
Chamillionaire Featuring Krayzie Bone
[Universal Records]
Georgia
Ludacris & Field Mob (Featuring Jamie Foxx)
Track from: Ludacris Presents...Disturbing Tha Peace And From Field Mob - Light Poles And Pine Trees
[DTP/Geffen/Def Jam Recordings]
Grillz - WINNER!
Nelly Featuring Paul Wall, Ali & Gipp
Track from: Sweatsuit
[Universal Records]
Mighty "O"
Outkast
[La Face/Zomba Label Group]
Don't Feel Right
The Roots
[Def Jam Recordings]
Category 33
Best Rap/Sung Collaboration
(For a Rap/Sung collaborative performance by artists who do not normally perform together. Singles or Tracks only.)
Smack That - WINNER!
Akon Featuring Eminem
[SRC/Universal Records]
Deja Vu
Beyonce Featuring Jay-Z
[Sony Urban Music/Columbia]
Shake That
Eminem Featuring Nate Dogg
Track from: Curtain Call - The Hits
[Aftermath/Shady/Interscope Records]
Unpredictable
Jamie Foxx Featuring Ludacris
Track from: Unpredictable
[J Records]
My Love
Justin Timberlake Featuring T.I.
Track from: FutureSex/LoveSounds
[Jive Records/Zomba Label Group]
Category 34
Best Rap Song
(A Songwriter(s) Award. For Song Eligibility Guidelines see Category #3. (Artist names appear in parenthesis.) Singles or Tracks only.)
It's Goin' Down
Chadron Moore & Jasiel Robinson, songwriters (Yung Joc)
Track from: New Joc City
[Bad Boy South; Publishers: Granny Man Publishing, Malik/Mekhi Music, Basement Funk, Regina's Son Music.]
Kick, Push
Wasalu Muhammad Jaco, songwriter (Lupe Fiasco)
Track from: Lupe Fiasco's Food & Liquor
[1st & 15th/Atlantic; Publishers: Hey Lu Chill Music/Heavy as Heaven, 1st & 15th Publishing/Mr. Lopez Music.]
Money Maker - WINNER!
Christopher Bridges & Pharrell Williams, songwriters (Ludacris Featuring
Pharrell)
Track from: Release Therapy
[Disturbing The Peace/Def Jam Recordings; Publishers: EMI Blackwood Music, Waters of Nazareth Publishing.]
Ridin
Anthony Henderson, J. Slainas, O. Salinas & Hakeem Seriki, songwriters
(Chamillionaire Featuring Krayzie Bone)
[Universal Records; Publishers: Chamilitary Camp Music, Play-N-Skilz Music, EMI Publishing.]
What You Know
A. Davis & Clifford Harris, songwriters; (Donny Hathaway, Leroy Hutson & Curtis
Mayfield, songwriters) (T.I.)
Track from: King
[Grand Hustle/Atlantic; Publishers: Club Crown Publishing, Toomp Stone Publishing, Careers-BMG Music, WB Music Corp., Warner-Tamerlane Publishing.]
Category 35
Best Rap Album
(For albums containing 51% or more playing time of VOCAL tracks.)
Lupe Fiasco's Food & Liquor
Lupe Fiasco
[1st & 15th/Atlantic]
Release Therapy - WINNER!
Ludacris
[Disturbing Tha Peace]
In My Mind
Pharrell
[Star Trak/Interscope Records]
Game Theory
The Roots
[Def Jam Recordings]
King
T.I.
[Grand Hustle/Atlantic]
Field 8 - Country
Category 36
Best Female Country Vocal Performance
(For a solo vocal performance. Singles or Tracks only.)
Kerosene
Miranda Lambert
Track from: Kerosene
[Epic]
I Still Miss Someone
Martina McBride
[RCA Nashville]
Something's Gotta Give
LeAnn Rimes
Track from: This Woman
[Curb Records]
Jesus, Take The Wheel - WINNER!
Carrie Underwood
Track from: Some Hearts
[Arista/Arista Nashville/19]
I Don't Feel Like Loving You Today
Gretchen Wilson
[Epic Nashville]
Category 37
Best Male Country Vocal Performance
(For a solo vocal performance. Singles or Tracks only.)
Every Mile A Memory
Dierks Bentley
[Capitol Records Nashville]
The Reason Why
Vince Gill
[MCA Nashville]
The Seashores Of Old Mexico
George Strait
Track from: Somewhere Down In Texas
[MCA Nashville]
Would You Go With Me
Josh Turner
Track from: Your Man
[MCA Nashville]
Once In A Lifetime - WINNER!
Keith Urban
[Capitol Records Nashville]
Category 38
Best Country Performance By A Duo Or Group With Vocal
(For established duos or groups with vocals. Singles or Tracks only.)
Not Ready To Make Nice - WINNER!
Dixie Chicks
Track from: Taking The Long Way
[Open Wide/Columbia]
Heaven's My Home
The Duhks
Track from: Migrations
[Sugar Hill Records]
Boondocks
Little Big Town
Track from: The Road To Here
[Equity Music Group]
What Hurts The Most
Rascal Flatts
Track from: Me And My Gang
[Lyric Street Records]
Leave The Pieces
The Wreckers
Track from: Stand Still - Look Pretty
[Maverick]
Category 39
Best Country Collaboration With Vocals
(For a collaborative performance, with vocals, by artists who do not normally perform together. Singles or Tracks only.)
Who Says You Can't Go Home
Bon Jovi & Jennifer Nettles
Track from: Have A Nice Day
[Island]
Tomorrow Is Forever
Solomon Burke & Dolly Parton
Track from: Nashville
[Shout! Factory]
Calling Me - WINNER!
Kenny Rogers & Don Henley
Track from: Water & Bridges
[Capitol Records Nashville]
Midnight Angel
Rhonda Vincent & Bobby Osborne
Track from: All American Bluegrass Girl
[Rounder]
Love Will Always Win
Trisha Yearwood & Garth Brooks
Track from: Jasper County
[MCA Nashville]
Category 41
Best Country Song
(A Songwriter(s) Award. For Song Eligibility Guidelines see Category #3. (Artist names appear in parenthesis.) Singles or Tracks only.)
Every Mile A Memory
Brett Beavers, Dierks Bentley & Steve Bogard, songwriters (Dierks Bentley)
[Capitol Records Nashville; Publishers: Dierks Bentley Publishing, Brett Beavers Publishing, Ensign Music, Rancho Papa Music.]
I Don't Feel Like Loving You Today
Matraca Berg & Jim Collins, songwriters (Gretchen Wilson)
[Epic Nashville; Publishers: Songs of Universal, Hannaberg Music, Warner-Tamerlane Publishing, Make Shift Music.]
Jesus, Take The Wheel - WINNER!
Brett James, Hillary Lindsey & Gordie Sampson, songwriters (Carrie Underwood)
Track from: Some Hearts
[Arista/Arista Nashville/19; Publishers: Dimensional Music of 1091/Sony/ATV Cross Keys Publishing, Raylene Music/BPJ Administration, No Such Music, Passing Stranger Music/1609 Songs/Music of Windswept.]
Like Red On A Rose
Melanie Castleman & Robert Lee Castleman, songwriters (Alan Jackson)
Track from: Like Red On A Rose
[Arista Nashville/Sony BMG; Publishers: Farm Use Only Music, Cassamel Music.]
What Hurts The Most
Steve Robson & Jeffrey Steele, songwriters (Rascal Flatts)
Track from: Me And My Gang
[Lyric Street Records; Publishers: Gottahaveable Music, Songs of Windswept Pacific, Almo Music.]
Category 42
Best Country Album
(Vocal or Instrumental.)
Taking The Long Way - WINNER!
Dixie Chicks
[Open Wide/Columbia]
Like Red On A Rose
Alan Jackson
[Arista Nashville/Sony BMG]
The Road To Here
Little Big Town
[Equity Music Group]
You Don't Know Me: The Songs Of Cindy Walker
Willie Nelson
[Lost Highway]
Your Man
Josh Turner
[MCA Nashville]
Category 78
Best Comedy Album
(For comedy recordings, spoken or musical)
Blue Collar Comedy Tour - One For The Road
Bill Engvall, Ron White, Jeff Foxworthy & Larry The Cable Guy
[Warner Bros.]
The Carnegie Hall Performance
Lewis Black
[Comedy Central Records]
Life Is Worth Losing
George Carlin
[Atlantic]
Straight Outta Lynwood - WINNER!
"Weird Al" Yankovic
[Volcano/Zomba Label Group]
You Can't Fix Stupid
Ron White
[Image Entertainment]
Field 22 - Film/TV/Visual Media
Category 80
Best Compilation Soundtrack Album For Motion Picture, Television Or Other Visual Media
(Award to the Artist(s) and/or Producer(s) of a majority of the tracks on the album, or to the individual(s) actively responsible for the concept and musical direction and for the selection of artists, songs and producers, as applicable.)
Brokeback Mountain
Various Artists
[Verve Forecast]
Cars
Various Artists
[Walt Disney Records/Pixar]
Grey's Anatomy - Volume 2
Various Artists
[Hollywood Records]
Little Miss Sunshine
Various Artists
[Lakeshore Records]
Walk The Line - WINNER!
Joaquin Phoenix & Various Artists
[Wind-Up Records]
Category 81
Best Score Soundtrack Album For Motion Picture, Television Or Other Visual Media
(Award to Composer(s) for an original score created specifically for, or as a companion to, a current legitimate motion picture, television show or series or other visual media.)
The Chronicles Of Narnia - The Lion, The Witch And The Wardrobe
Harry Gregson-Williams, composer
[Walt Disney Records]
The Da Vinci Code
Hans Zimmer, composer
[Decca]
Memoirs Of A Geisha
John Williams, composer
[Sony Classical]
Munich - WINNER!
John Williams, composer
[Decca]
Pirates Of The Caribbean - Dead Man's Chest
Hans Zimmer, composer
[Walt Disney Records]
Category 82
Best Song Written For Motion Picture, Television Or Other Visual Media
(A Songwriter(s) award. For a song (melody & lyrics) written specifically for a motion picture, television or other visual media, and released for the first time during the Eligibility Year. (Artist names appear in parenthesis.) Singles or Tracks only.)
Can't Take It In (From The Chronicles Of Narnia - The Lion, The Witch & The Wardrobe)
Imogen Heap, songwriter (Imogen Heap)
[Walt Disney Records; Publishers: Walt Disney Music, Rondor Music.]
I Need To Wake Up (From An Inconvenient Truth)
Melissa Etheridge, songwriter (Melissa Etheridge)
[Island Def Jam; Publisher: Songs of Ridge Road.]
Our Town (From Cars)
Randy Newman, songwriter (James Taylor)
[Walt Disney Records/Pixar; Publishers: Walt Disney Music, Pixar Talking Pictures.]
There's Nothing Like A Show On Broadway (From The Producers)
Mel Brooks, songwriter (Nathan Lane & Matthew Broderick)
[Sony Classical; Publisher: Mel Brooks Music.]
Travelin' Thru (From Transamerica) - WINNER!
Dolly Parton, songwriter (Dolly Parton)
[Nettwerk Records; Publisher: Velvet Apple Music.]
Category 91
Producer Of The Year, Non-Classical
(A Producer's Award. (Artists names appear in parenthesis.))
Howard Benson
• Every Man For Himself (Hoobastank) (A)
• Flyleaf (Flyleaf) (A)
• In With The Out Crowd (Less Than Jake) (A)
• One-X (Three Days Grace) (A)
• The Paramour Sessions (Papa Roach) (A)
• Popaganda (Head Automatica) (A)
• Saosin (Saosin) (A)
T Bone Burnett
• Thunderbird (Cassandra Wilson) (A)
• The True False Identity (T Bone Burnett) (A)
• Walk The Line - Soundtrack (Joaquin Phoenix & Various Artists) (A)
Danger Mouse
• Pieces Of The People We Love (The Rapture) (T)
• St. Elsewhere (Gnarls Barkley) (A)
Rick Rubin - WINNER!
• American V: A Hundred Highways (Johnny Cash) (A)
• God's Gonna Cut You Down (Johnny Cash) (T)
• Stadium Arcadium (Red Hot Chili Peppers) (A)
• Taking The Long Way (Dixie Chicks) (A)
• 12 Songs (Neil Diamond) (A)
Will.i.am
• About You (Mary J. Blige Featuring Will.i.am) (T)
• Big Girls Don't Cry (Fergie) (T)
• Damn Girl (Justin Timberlake Featuring Will.i.am) (T)
• I Am Somebody (Santana Featuring Will.i.am) (T)
• I Love My B**** (Busta Rhymes Featuring Kelis & Will.i.am) (T)
• Mas Que Nada (Sergio Mendes Featuring The Black Eyed Peas) (T)
• Timeless (Sergio Mendes) (A)
Field 31 - Music Video
Category 107
Best Short Form Music Video
(For an individual track or single promotional clip. Award to the Artist and to the Video Director/Producer.)
8th Of November
Big & Rich
Robert Deaton, George Flanigen & Marc Oswald, video directors; Robert Deaton,
George Flanigen, Steve Lamar & Marc Oswald, video producers
[Warner Bros.]
When You Were Young
The Killers
Anthony Mandler, video director; Gina Leonard, video producer
[Island Def Jam]
Here It Goes Again - WINNER!
OK Go
Dan Konopka, Damian Kulash, Jr, Timothy Nordwind, Andy Ross & Trish Sie, video
directors; Dan Konopka, Damien Kulash, Jr., Timothy Nordwind, Andy Ross & Trish
Sie, video producers
[Capitol]
Dani California
Red Hot Chili Peppers
Tony Kaye, video director; Rachel Curl, video producer
[Warner Bros.]
Writing On The Walls
Underoath
[Solid State/Tooth & Nail]
There you have it, cyber buddies! Just some, well... MANY of the nominees for the 49th Annual Grammy® Awards taking place tomorrow night on CBS! Check your local listings for showtimes!
THE POLICE PERFORMING LIVE! There will be other performances as well from other artists that I'm sure you like or are familiar with.
But The Police should be everyone's main concern.
-Mike The Janitor
©2007
Millenoma Publishing
It's the 49th Annual Grammy® Awards live on CBS! HOT DOG!
I'm excited because The Police will be performing together for the first time in about 30 years.
We're talking The Police here, my cyber peeps! THE POLICE! Sting, Andy Summers and Stewart Copeland! THE GOT-DAMN POLICE!
Rumor has it they are also planning to tour again. NOW WAY! I'm so there. I'd pay top dollar to see that show. I'm a huge fan of Sting and The Police and that would be a highlight concert of my life. Like seeing Pink Floyd or Peter Gabriel or Sarah McLachlan or Flavor Flav! OK, I'm kidding about Flavor Flav.
Anyway, here is a list of some of the more important nominees of tomorrow night. Well, they are all important. But there are over 100 categories and I'm only going to list the ones that I think most people care about enough to watch the Grammys.
I'll list each nominee and select the one I feel is going to win. Enjoy my exclusive coverage of Grammy night 2007!
THE POLICE PERFORMING LIVE! HOT DAMN, I TELL YOU! HOT DAMN!
And the nominees are:
Category 1
Record Of The Year
(Award to the Artist and to the Producer(s), Recording Engineer(s) and/or Mixer(s), if other than the artist.)
Be Without You
Mary J. Blige
Bryan-Michael Cox, producer; Danny Cheung, Tal Herzberg & Dave "Hard-Drive"
Pensado, engineers/mixers
Track from: The Breakthrough
[Geffen Records]
You're Beautiful
James Blunt
Tom Rothrock, producer; Tom Rothrock & Mike Tarantino, engineers/mixers
Track from: Back To Bedlam
[Custard/Atlantic]
Not Ready To Make Nice - WINNER!
Dixie Chicks
Rick Rubin, producer; Richard Dodd, Jim Scott & Chris Testa, engineers/mixers
Track from: Taking The Long Way
[Open Wide/Columbia]
Crazy
Gnarls Barkley
Danger Mouse, producer; Ben H. Allen, Danger Mouse & Kennie Takahashi,
engineers/mixers
Track from: St. Elsewhere
[Downtown/Atlantic]
Put Your Records On
Corinne Bailey Rae
Steve Chrisanthou, producer; Steve Chrisanthou & Jeremy Wheatley,
engineers/mixers
Track from: Corinne Bailey Rae
[Capitol]
Category 2
Album Of The Year
(Award to the Artist(s) and to the Album Producer(s), Recording Engineer(s)/Mixer(s) & Mastering Engineer(s), if other than the artist.)
Taking The Long Way
Dixie Chicks
Rick Rubin, producer; Richard Dodd, Jim Scott & Chris Testa, engineers/mixers;
Richard Dodd, mastering engineer
[Open Wide/Columbia]
St. Elsewhere - WINNER!
Gnarls Barkley
Danger Mouse, producer; Ben H. Allen, Danger Mouse & Kennie Takahashi,
engineers/mixers; Mike Lazer, mastering engineer
[Downtown/Atlantic]
Continuum
John Mayer
Steve Jordan & John Mayer, producers; John Alagia, Michael Brauer, Joe Ferla,
Chad Franscoviak, Manny Marroquin & Dave O'Donnell, engineers/mixers; Greg
Calbi, mastering engineer
[Aware/Columbia]
Stadium Arcadium
Red Hot Chili Peppers
Rick Rubin, producer; Ryan Hewitt, Mark Linette & Andrew Scheps,
engineers/mixers; Vlado Meller, mastering engineer
[Warner Bros.]
FutureSex/LoveSounds
Justin Timberlake
Nate (Danga) Hills, Jawbreakers, Rick Rubin, Timbaland & Justin Timberlake,
producers; Jimmy Douglass, Serban Ghenea, Padraic Kerin, Jason Lader, Andrew
Scheps, Timbaland & Ethan Willoughby, engineers/mixers; Herb Powers, Jr.,
mastering engineer
[Jive Records/Zomba Label Group]
Category 3
Song Of The Year
(A Songwriter(s) Award. A song is eligible if it was first released or if it first achieved prominence during the Eligibility Year. (Artist names appear in parenthesis.) Singles or Tracks only.)
Be Without You
Johnta Austin, Mary J. Blige, Bryan-Michael Cox & Jason Perry, songwriters (Mary
J. Blige)
Track from: The Breakthrough
[Geffen Records; Publishers: Chrysalis Music, Mary J. Blige Music, Naked Under My Clothes Music, Universal Music Corp., Babyboy's Little Publishing, Jason's Lyrics, Noontime South, Reach Global Tunes, WB Music.]
Jesus, Take The Wheel
Brett James, Hillary Lindsey & Gordie Sampson, songwriters (Carrie Underwood)
Track from: Some Hearts
[Arista/Arista Nashville/19; Publishers: Dimensional Music of 1091/Sony/ATV Cross Keys Publishing, Raylene Music/BPJ Administration, No Such Music, Passing Stranger Music/1609 Songs/Music of Windswept.]
Not Ready To Make Nice
Martie Maguire, Natalie Maines, Emily Robison & Dan Wilson, songwriters (Dixie
Chicks)
Track from: Taking The Long Way
[Open Wide/Columbia; Publishers: Woolly Puddin' Music, Chrysalis Music, Sugar Lake Music.]
Put Your Records On - WINNER!
John Beck, Steve Chrisanthou & Corinne Bailey Rae, songwriters (Corinne Bailey
Rae)
Track from: Corinne Bailey Rae
[Capitol; Publisher: Global Talent Publishing.]
You're Beautiful
James Blunt, Amanda Ghost & Sacha Skarbek, songwriters (James Blunt)
Track from: Back To Bedlam
[Custard/Atlantic; Publishers: EMI Blackwood Music, David Platz Music.]
Category 4
Best New Artist
(For a new artist who releases, during the Eligibility Year, the first recording which establishes the public identity of that artist.)
James Blunt - WINNER!
Chris Brown
Imogen Heap
Corinne Bailey Rae
Carrie Underwood
Field 1 - Pop
Category 5
Best Female Pop Vocal Performance
(For a solo vocal performance. Singles or Tracks only.)
Ain't No Other Man
Christina Aguilera
Track from: Back To Basics
[RCA Records]
Unwritten
Natasha Bedingfield
Track from: Unwritten
[Epic/Phonogenic]
You Can Close Your Eyes
Sheryl Crow
Track from: Sheryl Crow Artist's Choice Deluxe Edition
[Hear Music/Universal Music]
Stupid Girls - WINNER!
Pink
Track from: I'm Not Dead
[LaFace/Zomba Label Group]
Black Horse And The Cherry Tree
KT Tunstall
[Relentless/Virgin]
Category 6
Best Male Pop Vocal Performance
(For a solo vocal performance. Singles or Tracks only.)
You're Beautiful - WINNER!
James Blunt
Track from: Back To Bedlam
[Custard/Atlantic]
Save Room
John Legend
Track from: Once Again
[Columbia/GOOD/Sony Urban]
Waiting On The World To Change
John Mayer
Track from: Continuum
[Aware/Columbia]
Jenny Wren
Paul McCartney
Track from: Chaos And Creation In The Backyard
[Capitol]
Bad Day
Daniel Powter
Track from: Daniel Powter
[Warner Bros.]
Category 7
Best Pop Performance By A Duo Or Group With Vocal
(For established duos or groups, with vocals. Singles or Tracks only.)
My Humps
The Black Eyed Peas
Track from: Monkey Business
[A&M Records]
I Will Follow You Into The Dark
Death Cab For Cutie
Track from: Plans
[Atlantic Records]
Over My Head (Cable Car) - WINNER!
The Fray
Track from: How To Save A Life
[Epic]
Is It Any Wonder?
Keane
Track from: Under The Iron Sea
[Interscope Records]
Stickwitu
The Pussycat Dolls
Track from: PCD
[A&M Records]
Category 8
Best Pop Collaboration With Vocals
(For a collaborative performance, with vocals, by artists who do not normally perform together. Singles or Tracks only.)
For Once In My Life
Tony Bennett & Stevie Wonder
Track from: Duets: An American Classic
[RPM Records/Columbia]
One
Mary J. Blige & U2
Track from: The Breakthrough
[Geffen/Matriarch Records]
Always On Your Side
Sheryl Crow & Sting
Track from: Wildflower
[A&M Records]
Promiscuous - WINNER!
Nelly Furtado & Timbaland
Track from: Loose
[Geffen/Mosley Music Group]
Hips Don't Lie
Shakira & Wyclef Jean
Track from: Oral Fixation Vol. 2
[Epic]
Category 11
Best Pop Vocal Album
(For albums containing 51% or more playing time of VOCAL tracks.)
Back To Basics
Christina Aguilera
[RCA Records]
Back To Bedlam - WINNER!
James Blunt
[Custard/Atlantic]
The River In Reverse
Elvis Costello & Allen Toussaint
[Verve Forecast]
Continuum
John Mayer
[Aware/Columbia]
FutureSex/LoveSounds
Justin Timberlake
[Jive Records/Zomba Label Group]
Field 2 - Dance
Category 12
Best Dance Recording
(For solo, duo, group or collaborative performances. Vocal or Instrumental. Singles or tracks only.)
Suffer Well
Depeche Mode
Ben Hillier, producer; Steve Fitzmaurice & Ben Hillier, mixers
Track from: Playing The Angel
[Sire/Reprise/Mute]
Ooh La La
Goldfrapp
Goldfrapp, producers; Mark "Spike" Stent, mixer
Track from: Supernature
[Mute]
Get Together
Madonna
Madonna & Stuart Price, producers; Mark "Spike" Stent, mixer
Track from: Confessions On A Dance Floor
[Warner Bros.]
I'm With Stupid
Pet Shop Boys
Trevor Horn, producer; Robert Orton, mixer
Track from: Fundamental
[Rhino Entertainment]
Sexy Back - WINNER!
Justin Timberlake & Timbaland
Danja, Timbaland & Justin Timberlake, producers; Jimmy Douglass, mixer
[Jive Records/Zomba Label Group]
Category 13
Best Electronic/Dance Album
(For vocal or instrumental albums. Albums only.)
Supernature
Goldfrapp
[Mute]
Confessions On A Dance Floor
Madonna
[Warner Bros.]
A Lively Mind - WINNER!
Oakenfold
[Maverick]
Fundamental
Pet Shop Boys
[Rhino Entertainment]
The Garden
Zero 7
[Atlantic]
Field 3 - Traditional Pop
Category 14
Best Traditional Pop Vocal Album
(For albums containing 51% or more playing time of VOCAL tracks.)
Duets: An American Classic - WINNER!
Tony Bennett
[RPM Records/Columbia]
Caught In The Act
Michael Buble
[143-Reprise]
Wintersong
Sarah McLachlan
[Arista Records/Nettwerk]
Bette Midler Sings The Peggy Lee Songbook
Bette Midler
[Columbia]
Timeless Love
Smokey Robinson
[New Door Records]
Field 4 - Rock
Category 15
Best Solo Rock Vocal Performance
(For a solo vocal performance. Singles or Tracks only.)
Nausea
Beck
[Interscope Records]
Someday Baby
Bob Dylan
Track from: Modern Times
[Columbia]
Route 66
John Mayer
Track from: Cars - Soundtrack (Various Artists)
[Disney]
Saving Grace - WINNER!
Tom Petty
Track from: Highway Companion
[American]
Lookin' For A Leader
Neil Young
Track from: Living With War
[Reprise]
Category 16
Best Rock Performance By A Duo Or Group With Vocal
(For duo, group or collaborative performances, with vocals. Singles or Tracks only.)
Talk
Coldplay
Track from: X&Y
[Capitol]
How To Save A Life
The Fray
Track from: How To Save A Life
[Epic]
Steady, As She Goes
The Raconteurs
Track from: Broken Boy Soldiers
[V2/Third Man Records]
Dani California - WINNER!
Red Hot Chili Peppers
Track from: Stadium Arcadium
[Warner Bros.]
The Saints Are Coming
U2 & Green Day
[Interscope Records/Warner Bros.]
Category 17
Best Hard Rock Performance
(For solo, duo, group or collaborative performances, with vocals. Singles or Tracks only.)
Crazy Bitch
Buckcherry
[Eleven Seven Music]
Every Day Is Exactly The Same
Nine Inch Nails
Track from: With Teeth
[nothing/Interscope Records]
Lonely Day
System Of A Down
Track from: Hypnotize
[American/Columbia]
Vicarious - WINNER!
Tool
Track from: 10,000 Days
[Volcano/Zomba Label Group]
Woman
Wolfmother
Track from: Wolfmother
[Modular/Interscope Records]
Category 18
Best Metal Performance
(For solo, duo, group or collaborative performances, with vocals. Singles or Tracks only.)
Redneck
Lamb Of God
Track from: Sacrament
[Epic]
Colony Of Birchmen
Mastodon
Track from: Blood Mountain
[Reprise/Relapse Records]
Lies, Lies, Lies
Ministry
Track from: Rio Grande Blood
[13th Planet Records/Megaforce Records]
Eyes Of The Insane
Slayer
Track from: Christ Illusion
[American]
30/30-150 - WINNER!
Stone Sour
[Roadrunner Records]
Category 20
Best Rock Song
(A Songwriter(s) Award. Includes Rock, Hard Rock & Metal songs. For Song Eligibility Guidelines see Category #3. (Artist names appear in parenthesis.) Singles or Tracks only.)
Chasing Cars - WINNER!
Nathan Connolly, Gary Lightbody, Jonny Quinn, Tom Simpson & Paul Wilson,
songwriters (Snow Patrol)
Track from: Eyes Open
[A&M Records; Publisher: Big Life Music.]
Dani California
Flea, John Frusciante, Anthony Kiedis & Chad Smith, songwriters (Red Hot Chili
Peppers)
Track from: Stadium Arcadium
[Warner Bros.; Publisher: Moebetoblame Music.]
Lookin' For A Leader
Neil Young, songwriter (Neil Young)
Track from: Living With War
[Reprise; Publisher: Silver Fiddle Music.]
Someday Baby
Bob Dylan, songwriter (Bob Dylan)
Track from: Modern Times
[Columbia; Publisher: Bob Dylan.]
When You Were Young
Brandon Flowers, Dave Keuning, Mark Stoermer & Ronnie Vannucci, songwriters (The
Killers)
[Island Records; Publisher: Universal-Polygram Int.]
Category 21
Best Rock Album
(Vocal or Instrumental. Includes Hard Rock and Metal.)
Try!
John Mayer Trio
[Aware/Columbia]
Highway Companion - WINNER!
Tom Petty
[American]
Broken Boy Soldiers
The Raconteurs
[V2/Third Man Records]
Stadium Arcadium
Red Hot Chili Peppers
[Warner Bros.]
Living With War
Neil Young
[Reprise]
Field 5 - Alternative
Category 22
Best Alternative Music Album
(Vocal or Instrumental.)
Whatever People Say I Am, That's What I'm Not
Arctic Monkeys
[Domino Recording]
At War With The Mystics
The Flaming Lips
[Warner Bros.]
St. Elsewhere - WINNER!
Gnarls Barkley
[Downtown/Atlantic]
Show Your Bones
Yeah Yeah Yeahs
[Interscope Records]
The Eraser
Thom Yorke
[XL Recordings]
Field 6 - R&B
Category 23
Best Female R&B Vocal Performance
(For a solo vocal performance. Singles or Tracks only.)
Ring The Alarm
Beyonce
Track from: B'Day
[Sony Urban Music/Columbia]
Be Without You
Mary J. Blige
Track from: The Breakthrough
[Geffen Records]
Don't Forget About Us - WINNER!
Mariah Carey
Track from: The Emancipation Of Mimi (Ultra Platinum Edition)
[Island Records]
Day Dreaming
Natalie Cole
Track from: Leavin'
[Verve Records]
I Am Not My Hair
India.Arie
Track from: Testimony: Vol. 1, Life & Relationship
[Motown Records]
Category 24
Best Male R&B Vocal Performance
(For a solo vocal performance. Singles or Tracks only.)
Heaven - WINNER!
John Legend
Track from: Once Again
[Columbia/GOOD/Sony Urban Music]
So Sick
Ne-Yo
Track from: In My Own Words
[Def Jam Recordings]
Black Sweat
Prince
Track from: 3121
[Universal Records]
I Call It Love
Lionel Richie
Track from: Coming Home
[Island Def Jam Recordings]
Got You Home
Luther Vandross
[J Records/Epic/Legacy Recordings]
Category 25
Best R&B Performance By A Duo Or Group With Vocals
(For duo, group or collaborative performances, with vocals. Singles or Tracks only.)
Breezin'
George Benson & Al Jarreau
Track from: Givin' It Up
[Concord Records/Monster Music]
Love Changes
Jamie Foxx Featuring Mary J. Blige
Track from: Unpredictable
[J Records]
Everyday (Family Reunion)
Chaka Khan, Gerald Levert, Yolanda Adams & Carl Thomas
Track from: Madea's Family Reunion - Music From The Motion Picture
[Motown Records]
Family Affair
(Sly & The Family Stone), John Legend, Joss Stone With Van Hunt
Track from: Different Strokes By Different Folks
[Epic/Legacy Recordings]
Beautiful, Loved And Blessed - WINNER!
Prince & Tmar
Track from: 3121
[Universal Records]
Category 27
Best Urban/Alternative Performance
(For solo, duo, group or collaborative performances, with vocals. Singles or Tracks only.)
Crazy - WINNER!
Gnarls Barkley
Track from: St. Elsewhere
[Downtown/Atlantic]
That Heat
Segio Mendes Featuring Erykah Badu & Will.i.am
Track from: Timeless
[Concord Records/Hear Music]
Mas Que Nada
Sergio Mendes Featuring The Black Eyed Peas
Track from: Timeless
[Concord Records/Hear Music/Will.i.am music]
Idlewild Blue (Don't Chu Worry 'Bout Me)
Outkast
Track from: Idlewild
[La Face Records/Zomba Label Group]
3121
Prince
Track from: 3121
[Universal Records]
Category 28
Best R&B Song
(A Songwriter(s) Award. For Song Eligibility Guidelines see Category #3. (Artist names appear in parenthesis.) Singles or Tracks only.)
Be Without You - WINNER!
Johnta Austin, Mary J. Blige, Bryan-Michael Cox & Jason Perry, songwriters (Mary
J. Blige)
Track from: The Breakthrough
[Geffen Records; Publishers: Chrysalis Music, Mary J. Blige Music, Naked Under My Clothes Music, Universal Music Corp., Babyboy's Little Publishing, Jason's Lyrics, Noontime South, Reach Global Tunes, WB Music.]
Black Sweat
Prince, songwriter (Prince)
Track from: 3121
[Universal Records; Publisher: Controversy Music.]
Deja Vu
Shawn Carter, Rodney "Darkchild" Jerkins, Beyonce Knowles, Makeba, Keli Nicole
Price & Delisha Thomas, songwriters (Beyonce Featuring Jay-Z)
[Sony Urban Music/Columbia; Publishers: Beyonce Publishing, EMI Blackwood Music, 23000 Music Publishing, Makeba Yoga Flames Music/Janice Combs Publishing/EMI Blackwood, Price Tag, EMI April Music/Carter Boys Publishing.]
Don't Forget About Us
Johnta Austin, Mariah Carey, Bryan-Michael Cox & Jermaine Dupri, songwriters
(Mariah Carey)
Track from: The Emancipation Of Mimi (Ultra Platinum Edition)
[Island Records; Publishers: Rye Songs, Shaniah Cymone Music, EMI April Music, Babyboy's Little Publishing Company, Noontime South, Naked Under My Clothes, Chrysalis Music.]
I Am Not My Hair
Drew Ramsey, Shannon Sanders & India Arie Simpson, songwriters (India.Arie)
Track from: Testimony: Vol. 1, Life & Relationship
[Motown Records; Publishers: Gold & Iron Music, Wang Out Music Sony, Combustion Windswept, Noka International/Famous Music.]
Category 29
Best R&B Album
(For albums containing 51% or more playing time of VOCAL tracks.)
The Breakthrough
Mary J. Blige
[Geffen Records]
Unpredictable
Jamie Foxx
[J Records]
Testimony: Vol. 1, Life & Relationship
India.Arie
[Motown Records]
3121 - WINNER!
Prince
[Universal Republic]
Coming Home
Lionel Richie
[Island Def Jam Recordings]
Category 30
Best Contemporary R&B Album
(For albums containing 51% or more playing time of VOCAL tracks.)
B'Day - WINNER!
Beyonce
[Sony Urban Music/Columbia]
Chris Brown
Chris Brown
[Jive Records/Zomba Label Group]
20 Y.O.
Janet Jackson
[Virgin Records]
Kelis Was Here
Kelis
[Jive Records/Zomba Label Group/Dope Entertainment]
In My Own Words
Ne-Yo
[Def Jam Recordings]
Field 7 - Rap
Category 31
Best Rap Solo Performance
(For a solo Rap performance. Singles or Tracks only.)
Touch It
Busta Rhymes
Track from: The Big Bang
[Aftermath/Interscope Records]
We Run This
Missy Elliott
Track from: The Cookbook
[Goldmind/Atlantic]
Kick, Push
Lupe Fiasco
Track from: Lupe Fiasco's Food & Liquor
[1st & 15th/Atlantic]
Undeniable - WINNER!
Mos Def
[Geffen Records]
What You Know
T.I.
Track from: King
[Grand Hustle/Atlantic]
Category 32
Best Rap Performance By A Duo Or Group
(For duo, group or collaborative performances of Rap only. Singles or Tracks only.)
Ridin
Chamillionaire Featuring Krayzie Bone
[Universal Records]
Georgia
Ludacris & Field Mob (Featuring Jamie Foxx)
Track from: Ludacris Presents...Disturbing Tha Peace And From Field Mob - Light Poles And Pine Trees
[DTP/Geffen/Def Jam Recordings]
Grillz - WINNER!
Nelly Featuring Paul Wall, Ali & Gipp
Track from: Sweatsuit
[Universal Records]
Mighty "O"
Outkast
[La Face/Zomba Label Group]
Don't Feel Right
The Roots
[Def Jam Recordings]
Category 33
Best Rap/Sung Collaboration
(For a Rap/Sung collaborative performance by artists who do not normally perform together. Singles or Tracks only.)
Smack That - WINNER!
Akon Featuring Eminem
[SRC/Universal Records]
Deja Vu
Beyonce Featuring Jay-Z
[Sony Urban Music/Columbia]
Shake That
Eminem Featuring Nate Dogg
Track from: Curtain Call - The Hits
[Aftermath/Shady/Interscope Records]
Unpredictable
Jamie Foxx Featuring Ludacris
Track from: Unpredictable
[J Records]
My Love
Justin Timberlake Featuring T.I.
Track from: FutureSex/LoveSounds
[Jive Records/Zomba Label Group]
Category 34
Best Rap Song
(A Songwriter(s) Award. For Song Eligibility Guidelines see Category #3. (Artist names appear in parenthesis.) Singles or Tracks only.)
It's Goin' Down
Chadron Moore & Jasiel Robinson, songwriters (Yung Joc)
Track from: New Joc City
[Bad Boy South; Publishers: Granny Man Publishing, Malik/Mekhi Music, Basement Funk, Regina's Son Music.]
Kick, Push
Wasalu Muhammad Jaco, songwriter (Lupe Fiasco)
Track from: Lupe Fiasco's Food & Liquor
[1st & 15th/Atlantic; Publishers: Hey Lu Chill Music/Heavy as Heaven, 1st & 15th Publishing/Mr. Lopez Music.]
Money Maker - WINNER!
Christopher Bridges & Pharrell Williams, songwriters (Ludacris Featuring
Pharrell)
Track from: Release Therapy
[Disturbing The Peace/Def Jam Recordings; Publishers: EMI Blackwood Music, Waters of Nazareth Publishing.]
Ridin
Anthony Henderson, J. Slainas, O. Salinas & Hakeem Seriki, songwriters
(Chamillionaire Featuring Krayzie Bone)
[Universal Records; Publishers: Chamilitary Camp Music, Play-N-Skilz Music, EMI Publishing.]
What You Know
A. Davis & Clifford Harris, songwriters; (Donny Hathaway, Leroy Hutson & Curtis
Mayfield, songwriters) (T.I.)
Track from: King
[Grand Hustle/Atlantic; Publishers: Club Crown Publishing, Toomp Stone Publishing, Careers-BMG Music, WB Music Corp., Warner-Tamerlane Publishing.]
Category 35
Best Rap Album
(For albums containing 51% or more playing time of VOCAL tracks.)
Lupe Fiasco's Food & Liquor
Lupe Fiasco
[1st & 15th/Atlantic]
Release Therapy - WINNER!
Ludacris
[Disturbing Tha Peace]
In My Mind
Pharrell
[Star Trak/Interscope Records]
Game Theory
The Roots
[Def Jam Recordings]
King
T.I.
[Grand Hustle/Atlantic]
Field 8 - Country
Category 36
Best Female Country Vocal Performance
(For a solo vocal performance. Singles or Tracks only.)
Kerosene
Miranda Lambert
Track from: Kerosene
[Epic]
I Still Miss Someone
Martina McBride
[RCA Nashville]
Something's Gotta Give
LeAnn Rimes
Track from: This Woman
[Curb Records]
Jesus, Take The Wheel - WINNER!
Carrie Underwood
Track from: Some Hearts
[Arista/Arista Nashville/19]
I Don't Feel Like Loving You Today
Gretchen Wilson
[Epic Nashville]
Category 37
Best Male Country Vocal Performance
(For a solo vocal performance. Singles or Tracks only.)
Every Mile A Memory
Dierks Bentley
[Capitol Records Nashville]
The Reason Why
Vince Gill
[MCA Nashville]
The Seashores Of Old Mexico
George Strait
Track from: Somewhere Down In Texas
[MCA Nashville]
Would You Go With Me
Josh Turner
Track from: Your Man
[MCA Nashville]
Once In A Lifetime - WINNER!
Keith Urban
[Capitol Records Nashville]
Category 38
Best Country Performance By A Duo Or Group With Vocal
(For established duos or groups with vocals. Singles or Tracks only.)
Not Ready To Make Nice - WINNER!
Dixie Chicks
Track from: Taking The Long Way
[Open Wide/Columbia]
Heaven's My Home
The Duhks
Track from: Migrations
[Sugar Hill Records]
Boondocks
Little Big Town
Track from: The Road To Here
[Equity Music Group]
What Hurts The Most
Rascal Flatts
Track from: Me And My Gang
[Lyric Street Records]
Leave The Pieces
The Wreckers
Track from: Stand Still - Look Pretty
[Maverick]
Category 39
Best Country Collaboration With Vocals
(For a collaborative performance, with vocals, by artists who do not normally perform together. Singles or Tracks only.)
Who Says You Can't Go Home
Bon Jovi & Jennifer Nettles
Track from: Have A Nice Day
[Island]
Tomorrow Is Forever
Solomon Burke & Dolly Parton
Track from: Nashville
[Shout! Factory]
Calling Me - WINNER!
Kenny Rogers & Don Henley
Track from: Water & Bridges
[Capitol Records Nashville]
Midnight Angel
Rhonda Vincent & Bobby Osborne
Track from: All American Bluegrass Girl
[Rounder]
Love Will Always Win
Trisha Yearwood & Garth Brooks
Track from: Jasper County
[MCA Nashville]
Category 41
Best Country Song
(A Songwriter(s) Award. For Song Eligibility Guidelines see Category #3. (Artist names appear in parenthesis.) Singles or Tracks only.)
Every Mile A Memory
Brett Beavers, Dierks Bentley & Steve Bogard, songwriters (Dierks Bentley)
[Capitol Records Nashville; Publishers: Dierks Bentley Publishing, Brett Beavers Publishing, Ensign Music, Rancho Papa Music.]
I Don't Feel Like Loving You Today
Matraca Berg & Jim Collins, songwriters (Gretchen Wilson)
[Epic Nashville; Publishers: Songs of Universal, Hannaberg Music, Warner-Tamerlane Publishing, Make Shift Music.]
Jesus, Take The Wheel - WINNER!
Brett James, Hillary Lindsey & Gordie Sampson, songwriters (Carrie Underwood)
Track from: Some Hearts
[Arista/Arista Nashville/19; Publishers: Dimensional Music of 1091/Sony/ATV Cross Keys Publishing, Raylene Music/BPJ Administration, No Such Music, Passing Stranger Music/1609 Songs/Music of Windswept.]
Like Red On A Rose
Melanie Castleman & Robert Lee Castleman, songwriters (Alan Jackson)
Track from: Like Red On A Rose
[Arista Nashville/Sony BMG; Publishers: Farm Use Only Music, Cassamel Music.]
What Hurts The Most
Steve Robson & Jeffrey Steele, songwriters (Rascal Flatts)
Track from: Me And My Gang
[Lyric Street Records; Publishers: Gottahaveable Music, Songs of Windswept Pacific, Almo Music.]
Category 42
Best Country Album
(Vocal or Instrumental.)
Taking The Long Way - WINNER!
Dixie Chicks
[Open Wide/Columbia]
Like Red On A Rose
Alan Jackson
[Arista Nashville/Sony BMG]
The Road To Here
Little Big Town
[Equity Music Group]
You Don't Know Me: The Songs Of Cindy Walker
Willie Nelson
[Lost Highway]
Your Man
Josh Turner
[MCA Nashville]
Category 78
Best Comedy Album
(For comedy recordings, spoken or musical)
Blue Collar Comedy Tour - One For The Road
Bill Engvall, Ron White, Jeff Foxworthy & Larry The Cable Guy
[Warner Bros.]
The Carnegie Hall Performance
Lewis Black
[Comedy Central Records]
Life Is Worth Losing
George Carlin
[Atlantic]
Straight Outta Lynwood - WINNER!
"Weird Al" Yankovic
[Volcano/Zomba Label Group]
You Can't Fix Stupid
Ron White
[Image Entertainment]
Field 22 - Film/TV/Visual Media
Category 80
Best Compilation Soundtrack Album For Motion Picture, Television Or Other Visual Media
(Award to the Artist(s) and/or Producer(s) of a majority of the tracks on the album, or to the individual(s) actively responsible for the concept and musical direction and for the selection of artists, songs and producers, as applicable.)
Brokeback Mountain
Various Artists
[Verve Forecast]
Cars
Various Artists
[Walt Disney Records/Pixar]
Grey's Anatomy - Volume 2
Various Artists
[Hollywood Records]
Little Miss Sunshine
Various Artists
[Lakeshore Records]
Walk The Line - WINNER!
Joaquin Phoenix & Various Artists
[Wind-Up Records]
Category 81
Best Score Soundtrack Album For Motion Picture, Television Or Other Visual Media
(Award to Composer(s) for an original score created specifically for, or as a companion to, a current legitimate motion picture, television show or series or other visual media.)
The Chronicles Of Narnia - The Lion, The Witch And The Wardrobe
Harry Gregson-Williams, composer
[Walt Disney Records]
The Da Vinci Code
Hans Zimmer, composer
[Decca]
Memoirs Of A Geisha
John Williams, composer
[Sony Classical]
Munich - WINNER!
John Williams, composer
[Decca]
Pirates Of The Caribbean - Dead Man's Chest
Hans Zimmer, composer
[Walt Disney Records]
Category 82
Best Song Written For Motion Picture, Television Or Other Visual Media
(A Songwriter(s) award. For a song (melody & lyrics) written specifically for a motion picture, television or other visual media, and released for the first time during the Eligibility Year. (Artist names appear in parenthesis.) Singles or Tracks only.)
Can't Take It In (From The Chronicles Of Narnia - The Lion, The Witch & The Wardrobe)
Imogen Heap, songwriter (Imogen Heap)
[Walt Disney Records; Publishers: Walt Disney Music, Rondor Music.]
I Need To Wake Up (From An Inconvenient Truth)
Melissa Etheridge, songwriter (Melissa Etheridge)
[Island Def Jam; Publisher: Songs of Ridge Road.]
Our Town (From Cars)
Randy Newman, songwriter (James Taylor)
[Walt Disney Records/Pixar; Publishers: Walt Disney Music, Pixar Talking Pictures.]
There's Nothing Like A Show On Broadway (From The Producers)
Mel Brooks, songwriter (Nathan Lane & Matthew Broderick)
[Sony Classical; Publisher: Mel Brooks Music.]
Travelin' Thru (From Transamerica) - WINNER!
Dolly Parton, songwriter (Dolly Parton)
[Nettwerk Records; Publisher: Velvet Apple Music.]
Category 91
Producer Of The Year, Non-Classical
(A Producer's Award. (Artists names appear in parenthesis.))
Howard Benson
• Every Man For Himself (Hoobastank) (A)
• Flyleaf (Flyleaf) (A)
• In With The Out Crowd (Less Than Jake) (A)
• One-X (Three Days Grace) (A)
• The Paramour Sessions (Papa Roach) (A)
• Popaganda (Head Automatica) (A)
• Saosin (Saosin) (A)
T Bone Burnett
• Thunderbird (Cassandra Wilson) (A)
• The True False Identity (T Bone Burnett) (A)
• Walk The Line - Soundtrack (Joaquin Phoenix & Various Artists) (A)
Danger Mouse
• Pieces Of The People We Love (The Rapture) (T)
• St. Elsewhere (Gnarls Barkley) (A)
Rick Rubin - WINNER!
• American V: A Hundred Highways (Johnny Cash) (A)
• God's Gonna Cut You Down (Johnny Cash) (T)
• Stadium Arcadium (Red Hot Chili Peppers) (A)
• Taking The Long Way (Dixie Chicks) (A)
• 12 Songs (Neil Diamond) (A)
Will.i.am
• About You (Mary J. Blige Featuring Will.i.am) (T)
• Big Girls Don't Cry (Fergie) (T)
• Damn Girl (Justin Timberlake Featuring Will.i.am) (T)
• I Am Somebody (Santana Featuring Will.i.am) (T)
• I Love My B**** (Busta Rhymes Featuring Kelis & Will.i.am) (T)
• Mas Que Nada (Sergio Mendes Featuring The Black Eyed Peas) (T)
• Timeless (Sergio Mendes) (A)
Field 31 - Music Video
Category 107
Best Short Form Music Video
(For an individual track or single promotional clip. Award to the Artist and to the Video Director/Producer.)
8th Of November
Big & Rich
Robert Deaton, George Flanigen & Marc Oswald, video directors; Robert Deaton,
George Flanigen, Steve Lamar & Marc Oswald, video producers
[Warner Bros.]
When You Were Young
The Killers
Anthony Mandler, video director; Gina Leonard, video producer
[Island Def Jam]
Here It Goes Again - WINNER!
OK Go
Dan Konopka, Damian Kulash, Jr, Timothy Nordwind, Andy Ross & Trish Sie, video
directors; Dan Konopka, Damien Kulash, Jr., Timothy Nordwind, Andy Ross & Trish
Sie, video producers
[Capitol]
Dani California
Red Hot Chili Peppers
Tony Kaye, video director; Rachel Curl, video producer
[Warner Bros.]
Writing On The Walls
Underoath
[Solid State/Tooth & Nail]
There you have it, cyber buddies! Just some, well... MANY of the nominees for the 49th Annual Grammy® Awards taking place tomorrow night on CBS! Check your local listings for showtimes!
THE POLICE PERFORMING LIVE! There will be other performances as well from other artists that I'm sure you like or are familiar with.
But The Police should be everyone's main concern.
-Mike The Janitor
©2007
Millenoma Publishing
Mike's Top 20, Top 10 & Top 5
Sorry, my fellow music lovers! I've been so busy working and doing job interviews all week, that I almost forgot about my weekly list! So, here it is.
Mike's Top 20 Songs:
20: Jamiroquai "Love Foolosophy"
19: The Police "Tea In The Sahara"
18: John Cougar Mellencamp "Wild Night"
17: Londonbeat "I've Been Thinking About You"
16: Iggy Pop with Kate Pierson "Candy'
15: R.E.M. "Everybody Hurts"
14: Radiohead "Everything Is In Its Right Place"
13: Cab Calloway "Minnie The Moocher"
12: Sonny Landreth "Taylor's Rock"
11: Skip James "Devil Got My Woman"
10: Yes "I've Seen All Good People"
09: Orleans "Reach"
08: Moody Blues "Nights In White Satin"
07: Sting "Shadows In The Rain"
06: The Gap Band "Your Dropped A Bomb On Me"
05: Gavin DeGraw "Crush (acoustic)"
04: The Dead Milkmen "Instant Club Hit"
03: Hothouse Flowers "Be Good"
02: Soundgarden "The Day I Tried To Live"
01: The The "Bluer Than Midnight"
Mike's Top 10 CD's:
10: Hothouse Flowers "Songs From The Rain"
09: The Moody Blues "The Best Of The Moody Blues"
08: Gavin DeGraw "Chariot/Chariot Stripped"
07: The Dead Milkmen "Death Rides A Pale Cow - The Ultimate Collection"
06: Sting "The Dream Of The Turtles"
05: The Police "Synchronicity"
04: Orleans "Still The One - Greatest Hits"
03: R.E.M. "Automatic For The People"
02: David Gray "Lost Songs '95-'98"
01: The The "Dusk"
Mike's Top 5 DVD's:
05: Bring On The Night
04: Bagdad Cafe
03: Rear Window
02: The Conversation
01: Somewhere In Time
-Mike The Janitor
©2007
Millenoma Publishing
Mike's Top 20 Songs:
20: Jamiroquai "Love Foolosophy"
19: The Police "Tea In The Sahara"
18: John Cougar Mellencamp "Wild Night"
17: Londonbeat "I've Been Thinking About You"
16: Iggy Pop with Kate Pierson "Candy'
15: R.E.M. "Everybody Hurts"
14: Radiohead "Everything Is In Its Right Place"
13: Cab Calloway "Minnie The Moocher"
12: Sonny Landreth "Taylor's Rock"
11: Skip James "Devil Got My Woman"
10: Yes "I've Seen All Good People"
09: Orleans "Reach"
08: Moody Blues "Nights In White Satin"
07: Sting "Shadows In The Rain"
06: The Gap Band "Your Dropped A Bomb On Me"
05: Gavin DeGraw "Crush (acoustic)"
04: The Dead Milkmen "Instant Club Hit"
03: Hothouse Flowers "Be Good"
02: Soundgarden "The Day I Tried To Live"
01: The The "Bluer Than Midnight"
Mike's Top 10 CD's:
10: Hothouse Flowers "Songs From The Rain"
09: The Moody Blues "The Best Of The Moody Blues"
08: Gavin DeGraw "Chariot/Chariot Stripped"
07: The Dead Milkmen "Death Rides A Pale Cow - The Ultimate Collection"
06: Sting "The Dream Of The Turtles"
05: The Police "Synchronicity"
04: Orleans "Still The One - Greatest Hits"
03: R.E.M. "Automatic For The People"
02: David Gray "Lost Songs '95-'98"
01: The The "Dusk"
Mike's Top 5 DVD's:
05: Bring On The Night
04: Bagdad Cafe
03: Rear Window
02: The Conversation
01: Somewhere In Time
-Mike The Janitor
©2007
Millenoma Publishing
O Mike, Where Art Thou?
Indeed... where the hell have I been? Well, for starters, I began a new job on Monday. I'm a delivery driver for a tile and stone company. Mostly tile, really. I pull orders in the morning and then run them out to various job sites which could either be business or residential.
I hate it.
I took this job because I need the money to keep coming in. Yes, the work is extremely hard and one of the guys I work for is an old school prick. I just have to laugh when he belittles me or talks down to me over the simplest of things.
This job is great because I get to be outside moving around as opposed to being stuck in a warehouse feeling like a goddamn android. I guess, with most jobs, you're going to feel like an android.
Another great thing about this job is the REALLY expensive homes I get to deliver tile and materials to. It's a constant reminder of something I could never own or even dream of owning.
My dreams consist of a 1950's era stucko rambler home with two bedrooms and a outhouse in Magna. Or better yet, a single wide trailer in Kearns. Ah hell, I really want a 1980's duplex somewhere near the Valley Fair Mall in West Valley City.
Hell yeah! That's living right there!
Yes, my cyber buddies, Wal*Mart... opps... The Mothership is just a faded memory now. The money was good but I was just not happy there. And I've learned time and time again that if you're not happy, leave.
So now what? Am I going to continue on breaking my back carrying 80 pound bags of mortar mix and QuickCrete up icy driveways and a set of stairs to million dollar plus homes in Jeremy Ranch?
That's a big F U C K N O.
What am I going to do? What are my plans? Do I have any? I don't believe so. You know how I know this? Because of something that happened to me yesterday.
After I got off my new job yesterday, I ran home and shaved, showered and changed my clothes to be more presentable for a job interview I had for a night gig.
The place I went to for the second job prospect is at a fairly large company known as Cardinal Health. You wouldn't think of them to be such a large company by the looks of the unmarked, tucked away warehouse I went to for the interview.
Of course, this isn't an industry that really has large, blatant facilities. Cardinal Health deals with everything needed to stock a pharmacy. Not just your mouthwashes and enema kits. But pure grade pharmacutical drugs.
They also carry and distribute many, many items used in hospitals, retirement homes and specialty treatment centers.
For instance, during my interview I was taken on a tour. I was shown the variety of drugs that are packed on a daily basis and sent out to hospitals for treating people with cancer. Many of these drug can be dangerous should they come in contact with your skin because they're used during the chemotherapy process.
I found this amazing. All of these drugs for all these sicknesses of the world. And this location for Cardinal might need to move soon because they're expanding. With new sicknesses come new drugs which means more space in which to store them.
My interviewer, Sean, explained to me that their warehouse can see anywhere from 300 to 500 new products or changes in product lines every week.
Wow.
As he sat me down to talk to me more, he asked simply: "Where do you see yourself in five years"?
And you know what went through my mind as I sat there hearing that question?
I... HAVE... NO... IDEA.
It was almost like my brain was yelling that while I fumbled to try and lie my way through such a question.
I guess I didn't lie, per se. I answered that I wanted to be happy with my job. I wanted to be respected and appreciated for who I was and what I could contribute. I wanted recoginiton for my dedication and hard work. I wanted room for advancement and personal and professional growth and blah, blah, blah.
Meanwhile, my brain had switched from yelling "I HAVE NO IDEA" to:
"Mike, you're almost 34 and you really don't have shit to show for it, buddy. When are you going to grow up and settle down and set yourself straight"?
Then my mind wandered to another thought of how my mom and I got into an argument the day before. She, like a few other people I know, are concerned about my mental well being.
She became more and more angry with me as the argument became more heated. She said to me that "you need to be a man" and that "you quit your railroad job because you had been promoted and didn't want to deal with the additional responsibilities".
She also went on to basically congratulate my ex-girlfriend for leaving me and to point out the "many, many, many, MANY other times I've screwed something up at one time or another".
My childish response was:
"And to think you could have avoided all this by having an abortion, mom".
That shocked her. Even though it was awful and childish of me to say, I really felt like that during that particular moment. I'd have to say that the resentful bitterness my mother and I share for one another has gotten worse over the years.
She never wants me to forget the pain and trouble I've caused her and I don't want her to forget the pain and trouble it's caused me hearing such awful things.
Even if (as I swallow my pride here) some of those things are true. As much as I hate to say it, fine readers, she does have a point about my railroad job. But that isn't to say that my complaint to the company upon my leaving wasn't valid.
I'm almost 34 and a complete fuck up right now. My own mother thinks so. And to some extent, I don't blame her.
That's the harsh truth.
Oh, she also thinks I'm addicted to drugs or something. I wish. It would make the heartache and pain I feel about my present situation seem like a field of daisies with a bunch of smoking hot, naked redheads running around.
Great, I just gave myself an erection. Maybe I just need to get laid? Yeah, that's it. My pipes are so backed up, I can't think straight. Where is that Amanda girl when I need her?
*sigh*
So, there I was in this interview at Cardinal Health thinking about all of THAT while my mouth was making a hard sell about long term employment.
Then I started thinking:
"Man, you need someone to work nights picking orders and not fucking it up because people need their medication. I understand that and respect that. I can also do that because I'm almost 34 and wise beyond my years. Just give me the damn job"!
I should have said that out loud just to see his reaction. He was a nice guy, though. Laid back and pleasant. But he was also very thorough. He took notes on many of my responses.
He didn't offer me a job but he seemed pleased with responses and abilities. I really don't remember much of what I said since I was having that internal argument with myself. I'm sure I'll find out next week if I got the job or not.
I will say that on this coming Monday (February 12th), I have an interview with the city of South Jordan. That's where my good friend Dennis The Cop works. Actually, I should call him Dennis The Detective.
I'm not getting this job interview because of Dennis, mind you. I found an ad in the help wanted section of the Salt Lake Tribune a while back and applied. They got back to me and set up a meeting. Of course, I'm sure listing Dennis as a reference helped. Thanks Dennis.
This job I'm applying for at South Jordan sounds like something I'd really enjoy doing. Plus, the benefits of a government job are very good. And the room for advancement is fantastic. THIS is the job that I want to get and I will make it happen.
The pay isn't the best but it's more than what I'm making now lugging around tile. But it's less than my Mothership job and a little more than what I started at with the railroad job.
Oh, what the hell... it starts at $12.84 an hour. I'm making $12.00 an hour now with the driver job. If I get the second job at Cardinal, that will be an additional $11.00 an hour. Both jobs are full time. My driver job is Monday through Friday from 7 AM till 3:30 PM. The Cardinal Health order picker position runs Sunday though Thursday from 4:30 PM to 1 AM, I believe.
And to think that during my radio career, I had gotten up to 50K a year being a dumb ass on the radio. Nothing like starting over, eh?
Luckily, the location of the company I work for during the day is just a street down from the company I could be working for at night. That would work out great.
However, the South Jordan job would require me not to need a second job. I'm sure there would be mandatory overtime and I think the hours vary. Plus, there might be some on call duties every once and a while, too.
That sounds perfect. If I'm not going to get back into radio or get back to working on the railroad, this sounds like a great opportunity and I want it!
If I don't get it, well... there is always working two jobs for a while until I find the career that's best for me.
Christ... I'm already tired just thinking about it.
And why do I keep bringing up the fact I'm almost 34? It's not like I'm 40 and dealing with this mess.
*rolls eyes*
Oh dear Lord. If I'm still like this at 40 I really WILL BE a loser. If that happens, I'm putting a bullet in my head.
But you know what?
It won't happen. I just have to get out of the funk and apply myself and start making things happen as opposed to wishing for them to happen, you know?
Sheesh.. how hard is that?
-Mike The Janitor
©2007
Millenoma Publishing
I hate it.
I took this job because I need the money to keep coming in. Yes, the work is extremely hard and one of the guys I work for is an old school prick. I just have to laugh when he belittles me or talks down to me over the simplest of things.
This job is great because I get to be outside moving around as opposed to being stuck in a warehouse feeling like a goddamn android. I guess, with most jobs, you're going to feel like an android.
Another great thing about this job is the REALLY expensive homes I get to deliver tile and materials to. It's a constant reminder of something I could never own or even dream of owning.
My dreams consist of a 1950's era stucko rambler home with two bedrooms and a outhouse in Magna. Or better yet, a single wide trailer in Kearns. Ah hell, I really want a 1980's duplex somewhere near the Valley Fair Mall in West Valley City.
Hell yeah! That's living right there!
Yes, my cyber buddies, Wal*Mart... opps... The Mothership is just a faded memory now. The money was good but I was just not happy there. And I've learned time and time again that if you're not happy, leave.
So now what? Am I going to continue on breaking my back carrying 80 pound bags of mortar mix and QuickCrete up icy driveways and a set of stairs to million dollar plus homes in Jeremy Ranch?
That's a big F U C K N O.
What am I going to do? What are my plans? Do I have any? I don't believe so. You know how I know this? Because of something that happened to me yesterday.
After I got off my new job yesterday, I ran home and shaved, showered and changed my clothes to be more presentable for a job interview I had for a night gig.
The place I went to for the second job prospect is at a fairly large company known as Cardinal Health. You wouldn't think of them to be such a large company by the looks of the unmarked, tucked away warehouse I went to for the interview.
Of course, this isn't an industry that really has large, blatant facilities. Cardinal Health deals with everything needed to stock a pharmacy. Not just your mouthwashes and enema kits. But pure grade pharmacutical drugs.
They also carry and distribute many, many items used in hospitals, retirement homes and specialty treatment centers.
For instance, during my interview I was taken on a tour. I was shown the variety of drugs that are packed on a daily basis and sent out to hospitals for treating people with cancer. Many of these drug can be dangerous should they come in contact with your skin because they're used during the chemotherapy process.
I found this amazing. All of these drugs for all these sicknesses of the world. And this location for Cardinal might need to move soon because they're expanding. With new sicknesses come new drugs which means more space in which to store them.
My interviewer, Sean, explained to me that their warehouse can see anywhere from 300 to 500 new products or changes in product lines every week.
Wow.
As he sat me down to talk to me more, he asked simply: "Where do you see yourself in five years"?
And you know what went through my mind as I sat there hearing that question?
I... HAVE... NO... IDEA.
It was almost like my brain was yelling that while I fumbled to try and lie my way through such a question.
I guess I didn't lie, per se. I answered that I wanted to be happy with my job. I wanted to be respected and appreciated for who I was and what I could contribute. I wanted recoginiton for my dedication and hard work. I wanted room for advancement and personal and professional growth and blah, blah, blah.
Meanwhile, my brain had switched from yelling "I HAVE NO IDEA" to:
"Mike, you're almost 34 and you really don't have shit to show for it, buddy. When are you going to grow up and settle down and set yourself straight"?
Then my mind wandered to another thought of how my mom and I got into an argument the day before. She, like a few other people I know, are concerned about my mental well being.
She became more and more angry with me as the argument became more heated. She said to me that "you need to be a man" and that "you quit your railroad job because you had been promoted and didn't want to deal with the additional responsibilities".
She also went on to basically congratulate my ex-girlfriend for leaving me and to point out the "many, many, many, MANY other times I've screwed something up at one time or another".
My childish response was:
"And to think you could have avoided all this by having an abortion, mom".
That shocked her. Even though it was awful and childish of me to say, I really felt like that during that particular moment. I'd have to say that the resentful bitterness my mother and I share for one another has gotten worse over the years.
She never wants me to forget the pain and trouble I've caused her and I don't want her to forget the pain and trouble it's caused me hearing such awful things.
Even if (as I swallow my pride here) some of those things are true. As much as I hate to say it, fine readers, she does have a point about my railroad job. But that isn't to say that my complaint to the company upon my leaving wasn't valid.
I'm almost 34 and a complete fuck up right now. My own mother thinks so. And to some extent, I don't blame her.
That's the harsh truth.
Oh, she also thinks I'm addicted to drugs or something. I wish. It would make the heartache and pain I feel about my present situation seem like a field of daisies with a bunch of smoking hot, naked redheads running around.
Great, I just gave myself an erection. Maybe I just need to get laid? Yeah, that's it. My pipes are so backed up, I can't think straight. Where is that Amanda girl when I need her?
*sigh*
So, there I was in this interview at Cardinal Health thinking about all of THAT while my mouth was making a hard sell about long term employment.
Then I started thinking:
"Man, you need someone to work nights picking orders and not fucking it up because people need their medication. I understand that and respect that. I can also do that because I'm almost 34 and wise beyond my years. Just give me the damn job"!
I should have said that out loud just to see his reaction. He was a nice guy, though. Laid back and pleasant. But he was also very thorough. He took notes on many of my responses.
He didn't offer me a job but he seemed pleased with responses and abilities. I really don't remember much of what I said since I was having that internal argument with myself. I'm sure I'll find out next week if I got the job or not.
I will say that on this coming Monday (February 12th), I have an interview with the city of South Jordan. That's where my good friend Dennis The Cop works. Actually, I should call him Dennis The Detective.
I'm not getting this job interview because of Dennis, mind you. I found an ad in the help wanted section of the Salt Lake Tribune a while back and applied. They got back to me and set up a meeting. Of course, I'm sure listing Dennis as a reference helped. Thanks Dennis.
This job I'm applying for at South Jordan sounds like something I'd really enjoy doing. Plus, the benefits of a government job are very good. And the room for advancement is fantastic. THIS is the job that I want to get and I will make it happen.
The pay isn't the best but it's more than what I'm making now lugging around tile. But it's less than my Mothership job and a little more than what I started at with the railroad job.
Oh, what the hell... it starts at $12.84 an hour. I'm making $12.00 an hour now with the driver job. If I get the second job at Cardinal, that will be an additional $11.00 an hour. Both jobs are full time. My driver job is Monday through Friday from 7 AM till 3:30 PM. The Cardinal Health order picker position runs Sunday though Thursday from 4:30 PM to 1 AM, I believe.
And to think that during my radio career, I had gotten up to 50K a year being a dumb ass on the radio. Nothing like starting over, eh?
Luckily, the location of the company I work for during the day is just a street down from the company I could be working for at night. That would work out great.
However, the South Jordan job would require me not to need a second job. I'm sure there would be mandatory overtime and I think the hours vary. Plus, there might be some on call duties every once and a while, too.
That sounds perfect. If I'm not going to get back into radio or get back to working on the railroad, this sounds like a great opportunity and I want it!
If I don't get it, well... there is always working two jobs for a while until I find the career that's best for me.
Christ... I'm already tired just thinking about it.
And why do I keep bringing up the fact I'm almost 34? It's not like I'm 40 and dealing with this mess.
*rolls eyes*
Oh dear Lord. If I'm still like this at 40 I really WILL BE a loser. If that happens, I'm putting a bullet in my head.
But you know what?
It won't happen. I just have to get out of the funk and apply myself and start making things happen as opposed to wishing for them to happen, you know?
Sheesh.. how hard is that?
-Mike The Janitor
©2007
Millenoma Publishing
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)