"The Mexicans brought them over from Spain."

This is something that came out of Ronda's mouth as we picked up some of the BIGGEST sagebrush (a.k.a. tumbleweeds) I have EVER seen in my life.

Ronda and myself were joking about the size of the sagebrush and just how in the hell we were going to collect it all and put in the back of our Dodge Ram (with a Hemi) pick-up truck.

I don't remember why she said it, but she did. And it was pretty damn funny. To be picking up such large sagebrush and hear a co-worker say: "The Mexicans brought them over from Spain" was just a riot.

She later corrected herself by saying that she meant that the sagebrush was brought over by the Spanish settlers from Spain. I think I knew what she meant, anyway, when she made the Mexican comment.

This is yet another duty of a Parks Maintenance Worker in South Jordan. Collecting sagebrush that has collect in the areas of the park strips that we maintain. The sagebrush in this particular area (just west of Bangerter Highway on 10400 South) was massive.

It was odd, too. For whatever reason, the wind, the Mexicans, the Spaniards, God, WHOMEVER decided to make a large pile of these damn things right in this one area. Normally you'll see them collected all along streets in the area. But this one little section of sidewalk had a huge wall built up with nothing but sagebrush.

It was so bad that it blocked the sidewalk completely. If you wanted to walk on this sidewalk going east or west, you'd have to walk out into the street practically to get around the wall of sagebrush.

In my pictures file, you'll find a picture of one single sagebrush filling up the entire bed of our work truck. The picture isn't the greatest but you'll get a sense of the size of the sagebrush.

It took us a couple of trips to get all the sagebrush. And, not to sound like a baby, but those things hurt. They're like full of little, tiny thorns that poke right through your clothing and gloves. It kind of sucks ass, actually.

I also learned how to sharpen lawnmower blades this past weeks. That was good times. I even learned how to operate a riding lawnmower which was fun and frustrating at first.

This isn't your standard Craftsman riding lawnmower, people. Oh no no no. The mowers we have are called "Dixie Choppers" and make the claim RIGHT ON THE MOWER that they are "The World's Fastest Lawnmower".

They turn on a dime, too. It takes some getting used to. You sit in a chair and pull to handles on your left and right over your lap. These control your turns and forward/backward movement as well as braking.

To go forward, you simply push your handles forward. To go backwards, same thing. To turn right, you push the right handle forward. To turn left, you push the left handle forward. Same if you want to travel backward.

I'm sure you get the idea.

Sounds easy, right? Looks easy, too.

However, when you actually get on this thing, it's a whole different story. THEY HAUL ASS! Totally living up to their claim, the Dixie Chopper IS the world's fastest lawnmower.

Imagine being on a souped up go-cart with a 60" cutting deck and the ability to go about 12 miles an hour. WOW! But you have to be careful because the lawnmower has a zero turn radius. It's quite an amazing piece of equipment.

If you're in the market for a race car of a lawnmower starting at seven grand, this is your mower.

I also had a funny moment where I realized that I'm living up to my radio name, Mike The Janitor.

This past week I helped one of my other co-workers, Allen. Allen is charge of maintaining the park restrooms and garbage collection. It's a full time job because of the amount of garbage cans we provide in all of our parks as well as several bathroom facilities.

I had to learn our parks a little better since I'll soon be assisting in on-call duties. When you're on-call, your main job is to keep the garbage cans empty and making sure the restrooms are stocked and clean.

It's also the responsibility of the on-call person to lock up the bathrooms at night. If I'm not mistaken, there are six or seven parks with bathroom facilities throughout South Jordan.

Therefore, I've truly become Mike The Janitor.

Ahhhhhh, the irony.

I also did a variety of other labor intensive tasks like tilling some volleyball pits and a "tot lot" (playground) to freshen up the sand. I also helped in spraying chemicals for weed control around trees in a couple of parks.

I helped mend all the fences surrounding our softball area and leveling out the gates, too, because most of them were crooked.

It was a fairly busy week. Even with the shitty weather.

I did happen to meet another co-worker of mine who has been out since I've been hired. His name is Reggie. Reggie had been out due to some medical procedures he went through.

When he came back, he made sure to give me a hard time about wearing my ID. around my neck. I guess he did this because he's buddies with Rob who was a dick about it a couple of weeks ago.

I believe I mentioned what happened in a previous blog. If you want specifics, find the blog and read the story about what I'm talking about regarding my identification. Which, I'd like to point out here, is supposed to be worn where it is visible during all working hours.

Call me a geek, but I like wearing my ID. For some reason, I feel important and a part of something important. I guess that's just a part of my character and work ethic. It pisses me off that some of the people I work with are making fun of me because I have different principles than they do. Excuse the shit out of me for giving a damn about my job and caring about what is expected of me.

I did find out that I'll probably be working under a particular lead worker that I already don't care for. I know that is a negative attitude to have but I can't deny the frustration.

However, I will not let my personal feelings get in the way of my working relationship with this person. I will do what is requested of me to the best of my ability and only raise concerns when the situation calls for it.

I am curious to know how this person became a lead worker, though. I work with many more qualified, intelligent and friendly people to hold this position.

Listen to me... already bitching. Sheesh. I have to keep positive or I'll wind up in my old self-destructive mode again.

Well, I'm in Starbucks since my free wireless internet isn't working at home. I need another cup of coffee and I have to pee.

-Mike The Janitor
©2007
Millenoma Publishing