As I sit here in Starbucks to spend another day uploading my CD collection into my iTunes, I checked the status of just how many blogs I've posted since making this profile in January.
This is blog number 165.
It's a blog of celebration because it also marks 5000 reads of those 165 blogs.
That isn't a typo... that says FIVE THOUSAND.
My profile doesn't even have that many views. I think my profile views are up to 3035 right now.
In any event, this is just amazing to me. It would seem that many of you on my elite friend list (and those that have come and gone) are actually reading my mindless dribble.
Then again, maybe some of you are just... kind of... scrolling through much of it to get the general vibe. While others of you might just be hitting my blogs to raise my viewership. Well, ok, that's a bit of a stretch. I'm just mental.
In a way, these blogs are like my own little radio show.
I hope I get a plaque or a medal or a $25.00 gift certificate to Applebee's for my work in the literary field here on MySpace. The should have a Blog Awards ceremony. It could be hosted by Billy Crystal or Whoopi Goldberg or Jon Stewart! I can hear the promo now...
"Tonight at 8 PM on NBC, catch the 1st Annual MySpace Blog Awards brought to you in part by Apple Computers! Find out who will win the coveted Blogitzer® Prize for outstanding work in blogging! Guest performances include a moving read by Stephen King of his new book "Liseys Story". Other guest performances include Big Bird reciting the alphabet, Ashlee Simpson lip-syncing "The Cat In The Hat", Marlee Matlin reciting "War & Peace" completely in sign language and Paris Hilton chugging cock just to get in on the media frenzy that is sure to be literature's finest moment in television history! It all happens tonight on CBS. Don't miss the pre-show red carpet extravaganza hosted by Tom Clancy, Danielle Steele, Dean Koontz and Dane Cook starting at 7 pm!"
My friend Royce in Erie, Pennsylvania suggested I write a book. I've seriously thought about that. Actually, I should just find a publisher who'll print my 165 blogs into a short novel. I'd call it "The Book Of Blogs".
Maybe not.
You know, there was a time in my teens I was writing a book. I even remember the awful title I had given it. At the time, I thought it was clever. Now, at 33, I'm almost embarrassed to repeat it.
It was going to be called "The Rubberband Theory". Under the title would be the following passage: "This book will either hit you and make you wince or miss you and make you wonder".
Ahhhhhhhhh, dreams of being a writer at 19 or 20 or however old I was. With a title like THAT, I'm sure I would have won the Pulitzer®.
I still have the 20 or 30 pages I wrote somewhere in my childhood/early youth/teen years box of memories. I think that also holds my Hot Wheels and Matchbox cars collection.
Man, I loved playing with those little cars when I was a kid. My G.I. Joe's, too. I wasn't big on the Transformers but I did enjoy He-Man. I also watched Voltron and Pee-Wee's Playhouse.
Anyway, my thanks to those of you across the globe reading up on my daily life escapades. With many of these blogs I've written, some of you have commented on how my writing has helped you come to terms with some of the same problems you've faced.
Others of you have given your opinion on what I could do to better my situation with helpful advice or suggestions.
Some of you have shared your own stories with me based on things I've talked about here in blog form. In some cases, I'll re-post those stories with my own take on it.
And others of you have made it clear your disgust for me and have wished some wonderfully hateful things upon me.
I'll just keep writing even if people stop reading. I do this more to give myself some sort of self therapy... even though it doesn't seem to be helping in anyway.
But it seems to help others, I suppose.
I guess I'm going to have to start charging admission into my blog area.
-Mike The Janitor
©2006
Millenoma Publishing
11.30.2006
11.29.2006
The regulars
As I spend countless hours of my free time at Starbucks, I become more acquainted with some of the other regulars that frequent this location.
Of course, I'm sure I've got them all beat on time spent sitting in Starbucks.
I don't know if I've made it really clear as to WHY I'm spending so much time in here. It's not just because I don't have the internet at home but also because of my CD collection.
I've taken on the supreme task of uploading 800+ CD's from my entire collection into my iTunes. I bought a 200 gig hard drive which will more than accommodate my music collection and then some.
I think the box for my Seagate external hard drive said it will hold up to like 30,000 or 40,000 songs. Awesome! I bought it sometime ago so that I could upload my friend Kris's entire music collection. Apparently, he has over 15,000 songs on his computer.
Anyway, every time I'm here in Starbucks, I have several CD's that I bring with me as well as my external hard drive. I probably bring about 40 to 50 CD's at a time to burn onto my hard drive.
The reason I bring them to Starbucks is because I can use iTunes in conjunction with the internet to assist me in labeling all the tracks on every CD I upload into iTunes.
iTunes is such a fantastic and wonderful program. It saves so much time to be able to insert one of my many CD's and have iTunes read it and know what it is and automatically pull up the track names and the title of the disc and the year it was produced and the album artwork!
It must look pretty funny to the people who come and go at this Starbucks. I sit here at a table and pretty much set up shop.
On my left is stacks of CD's. In the center is my laptop. On the right is more stacks of CD's that I've already uploaded and the external hard drive.
My own little Starbucks office.
It brings curious onlookers wondering just what the hell I'm doing. It also gives me the opportunity to get to know more about the people I see in here all the time even when I'm not wasting away in here myself.
There is this Frenchman that comes in here from time to time. I finally got to meet him and have had several long discussions with him that have been quite interesting. For being in the States for 14 years, his accent is still as strong as it would be as if I had met him in France. He's a friendly fellow and I enjoy talking to him.
Then there is this biker guy and his girlfriend or wife. I'm not sure what she is. He is part of the biker club called "BACA". That stands for "Bikers Against Child Abuse". Personally, I find that to be an oxymoron because most bikers represent violence. But he's a good guy. I'm assuming that because I've never really talked to him.
There is another guy that I talked to who comes in later at night that is a long haul trucker. He's a nice guy. I was trying to assist him with a software issue he was having with his iTunes and iPod. We also had a great talk about Apple Computer.
Sometimes during the day, an attractive Asian woman comes in here to do school work. At least, I think that's what she is doing. Maybe she is studying for her real estate exam. Maybe she's writing a graphic romance novel that will have Fabio on the cover! Or she might be a terrorist writing a letter to Allah and cursing the Starbucks with some kind of wacky Jihad.
There is a heavy set blond woman that comes in. She seems to be friends with the biker dude and his ol' lady. She's always reading a book. She's also friends with one of the Baristas here and will sometimes buy lunch for her. Sometimes she'll even pick up lunch for the whole Starbucks crew. She's cool. I've talked to her.
When I used to come in here during the morning, there was this one woman that was (and still is) always in here reading the paper. Sometimes she would bring her son with her. From what my ex-girlfriend barista told me, she lives in some motel room because she's fallen on hard times or something. I don't really remember.
I also see a lot of in and out regulars. These are the ones that don't take a load off and drink their coffee inside. They're "on-the-go". One woman comes in and always has this scowl on her face. She also looks like she used to be a man. Or a man that likes to dress like a woman. Maybe she's just ugly. And that scowl on her face doesn't help.
But there is one couple that is beyond bizarre. They are one of the couples that come in later at night.
The guy is tall and slightly chubby. He is always wearing the same thing when he comes in here as well as his wife/girlfriend. According to one of the baristas here, he is some kind of artist. He does paintings, sketches and makes music. I heard one of his discs and it was very Phillip Glass meets Pink Floyd meets Vangelis' "Blade Runner" score... only bad.
He brought in a portfolio of his work to show to the manager of Starbucks. Some of his paintings weren't too shabby. But what do I know about art? Of course, what the hell does anyone really know about art? You know what you like and what appeals to you and that's all that matters, right? So, in this regard, there were some paintings he made that I would buy.
His girlfriend/wife is odd. She is very homely and extremely shy. I also find that she might be slightly mentally dysfunctional. She always walks somewhat slumped over as if she is trying to hide. And she NEVER leaves the artist mans side.
They chain smoke like you wouldn't believe. And the stench from them is pretty unbearable if you're close to them. I don't think the bathe much. I'm not saying this to be rude or mean spirited. They're just very odd and smelly.
A few nights ago, actually it was the day after Thanksgiving, the man approached me with a flash drive wanting me to insert in into my USB and look at his work and listen to his music.
Luckily, I was on my way out and didn't have the time. I've seen him since then and he hasn't offered again. I'm hoping he doesn't because I don't feel comfortable using the flash drive of a stranger on my computer.
I've noticed that his wife/girlfriend never speaks. Anytime she is sitting with him, she just rocks back and forth in her seat slightly and he does all the talking. She never even responds to things he is saying. It's strange to watch and somewhat creepy.
The man seems fairly intelligent, however. I sometimes overhear the conversations that he has with his lady and they are fairly interesting observations or opinions he has on current topics and history and art.
Anyway, that's my take on the majority of the regulars that I've encountered at my local Starbucks. I will say that I'm already sick of this XM Satellite Radio Network "Hear Music" that is playing the same Christmas songs over and over.
Then again, if I didn't spend so much time in here, I wouldn't care!
Here's a funny story to close my bog with.
There is a younger barista that works here named Alena. She's a cutie but kind of snobby and really into herself and thinks everyone else should be, too. She's one of the employees I've had a couple of problems with in the past.
Last night, these two guys were in here (I think they even knew her) waiting for the drinks they ordered.
They went outside to smoke. At one point, one of the guys came in and walked up to the bar and said to Alena:
"What's up with the blankets on your car windows? Are you just lazy or do you just not have a scraper for your windows?"
Alena's response was classic and made me spit up coffee. She replied, quite simply and cocky:
"Both."
As I spit up coffee, I laughed out loud at that. I also gained a whole new respect for her that made her more sexy to me for some reason.
The guy then made the comment that scrapers were only a dollar at the dollar store.
It was this that made me get up and go to my own car and get a brand new scraper I had in my trunk. It was an extra I had. I gave it to Alena so she wouldn't have to put those silly towels (not blankets as the guy thought) on her windows anymore.
With that, I packed up for the night and went home and watched South Park.
I don't care how odd, silly, lonely, loserish or whatever I look like to people as they come in here. Starbucks is presently my home away from home. I like it here.
If you're ever in the area, stop on by and have a cup of joe with me. I'll buy!
-Mike The Janitor
©2006
Millenoma Publishing
Of course, I'm sure I've got them all beat on time spent sitting in Starbucks.
I don't know if I've made it really clear as to WHY I'm spending so much time in here. It's not just because I don't have the internet at home but also because of my CD collection.
I've taken on the supreme task of uploading 800+ CD's from my entire collection into my iTunes. I bought a 200 gig hard drive which will more than accommodate my music collection and then some.
I think the box for my Seagate external hard drive said it will hold up to like 30,000 or 40,000 songs. Awesome! I bought it sometime ago so that I could upload my friend Kris's entire music collection. Apparently, he has over 15,000 songs on his computer.
Anyway, every time I'm here in Starbucks, I have several CD's that I bring with me as well as my external hard drive. I probably bring about 40 to 50 CD's at a time to burn onto my hard drive.
The reason I bring them to Starbucks is because I can use iTunes in conjunction with the internet to assist me in labeling all the tracks on every CD I upload into iTunes.
iTunes is such a fantastic and wonderful program. It saves so much time to be able to insert one of my many CD's and have iTunes read it and know what it is and automatically pull up the track names and the title of the disc and the year it was produced and the album artwork!
It must look pretty funny to the people who come and go at this Starbucks. I sit here at a table and pretty much set up shop.
On my left is stacks of CD's. In the center is my laptop. On the right is more stacks of CD's that I've already uploaded and the external hard drive.
My own little Starbucks office.
It brings curious onlookers wondering just what the hell I'm doing. It also gives me the opportunity to get to know more about the people I see in here all the time even when I'm not wasting away in here myself.
There is this Frenchman that comes in here from time to time. I finally got to meet him and have had several long discussions with him that have been quite interesting. For being in the States for 14 years, his accent is still as strong as it would be as if I had met him in France. He's a friendly fellow and I enjoy talking to him.
Then there is this biker guy and his girlfriend or wife. I'm not sure what she is. He is part of the biker club called "BACA". That stands for "Bikers Against Child Abuse". Personally, I find that to be an oxymoron because most bikers represent violence. But he's a good guy. I'm assuming that because I've never really talked to him.
There is another guy that I talked to who comes in later at night that is a long haul trucker. He's a nice guy. I was trying to assist him with a software issue he was having with his iTunes and iPod. We also had a great talk about Apple Computer.
Sometimes during the day, an attractive Asian woman comes in here to do school work. At least, I think that's what she is doing. Maybe she is studying for her real estate exam. Maybe she's writing a graphic romance novel that will have Fabio on the cover! Or she might be a terrorist writing a letter to Allah and cursing the Starbucks with some kind of wacky Jihad.
There is a heavy set blond woman that comes in. She seems to be friends with the biker dude and his ol' lady. She's always reading a book. She's also friends with one of the Baristas here and will sometimes buy lunch for her. Sometimes she'll even pick up lunch for the whole Starbucks crew. She's cool. I've talked to her.
When I used to come in here during the morning, there was this one woman that was (and still is) always in here reading the paper. Sometimes she would bring her son with her. From what my ex-girlfriend barista told me, she lives in some motel room because she's fallen on hard times or something. I don't really remember.
I also see a lot of in and out regulars. These are the ones that don't take a load off and drink their coffee inside. They're "on-the-go". One woman comes in and always has this scowl on her face. She also looks like she used to be a man. Or a man that likes to dress like a woman. Maybe she's just ugly. And that scowl on her face doesn't help.
But there is one couple that is beyond bizarre. They are one of the couples that come in later at night.
The guy is tall and slightly chubby. He is always wearing the same thing when he comes in here as well as his wife/girlfriend. According to one of the baristas here, he is some kind of artist. He does paintings, sketches and makes music. I heard one of his discs and it was very Phillip Glass meets Pink Floyd meets Vangelis' "Blade Runner" score... only bad.
He brought in a portfolio of his work to show to the manager of Starbucks. Some of his paintings weren't too shabby. But what do I know about art? Of course, what the hell does anyone really know about art? You know what you like and what appeals to you and that's all that matters, right? So, in this regard, there were some paintings he made that I would buy.
His girlfriend/wife is odd. She is very homely and extremely shy. I also find that she might be slightly mentally dysfunctional. She always walks somewhat slumped over as if she is trying to hide. And she NEVER leaves the artist mans side.
They chain smoke like you wouldn't believe. And the stench from them is pretty unbearable if you're close to them. I don't think the bathe much. I'm not saying this to be rude or mean spirited. They're just very odd and smelly.
A few nights ago, actually it was the day after Thanksgiving, the man approached me with a flash drive wanting me to insert in into my USB and look at his work and listen to his music.
Luckily, I was on my way out and didn't have the time. I've seen him since then and he hasn't offered again. I'm hoping he doesn't because I don't feel comfortable using the flash drive of a stranger on my computer.
I've noticed that his wife/girlfriend never speaks. Anytime she is sitting with him, she just rocks back and forth in her seat slightly and he does all the talking. She never even responds to things he is saying. It's strange to watch and somewhat creepy.
The man seems fairly intelligent, however. I sometimes overhear the conversations that he has with his lady and they are fairly interesting observations or opinions he has on current topics and history and art.
Anyway, that's my take on the majority of the regulars that I've encountered at my local Starbucks. I will say that I'm already sick of this XM Satellite Radio Network "Hear Music" that is playing the same Christmas songs over and over.
Then again, if I didn't spend so much time in here, I wouldn't care!
Here's a funny story to close my bog with.
There is a younger barista that works here named Alena. She's a cutie but kind of snobby and really into herself and thinks everyone else should be, too. She's one of the employees I've had a couple of problems with in the past.
Last night, these two guys were in here (I think they even knew her) waiting for the drinks they ordered.
They went outside to smoke. At one point, one of the guys came in and walked up to the bar and said to Alena:
"What's up with the blankets on your car windows? Are you just lazy or do you just not have a scraper for your windows?"
Alena's response was classic and made me spit up coffee. She replied, quite simply and cocky:
"Both."
As I spit up coffee, I laughed out loud at that. I also gained a whole new respect for her that made her more sexy to me for some reason.
The guy then made the comment that scrapers were only a dollar at the dollar store.
It was this that made me get up and go to my own car and get a brand new scraper I had in my trunk. It was an extra I had. I gave it to Alena so she wouldn't have to put those silly towels (not blankets as the guy thought) on her windows anymore.
With that, I packed up for the night and went home and watched South Park.
I don't care how odd, silly, lonely, loserish or whatever I look like to people as they come in here. Starbucks is presently my home away from home. I like it here.
If you're ever in the area, stop on by and have a cup of joe with me. I'll buy!
-Mike The Janitor
©2006
Millenoma Publishing
11.27.2006
The routine
Within the last few weeks, I developed an odd routine. And some of my best blogs have come from this routine.
Because, as we all know I have no internet at my home, I come to Starbucks in West Valley to utilize the internet.
I like coming to Starbucks. I've been a customer of this location since it opened. I remember my reaction to seeing the almost finished product before it opened. I remember thinking, as well as spreading the word to others in the area, that "it's about fucking time!" Starbucks came out this way.
I have to admit, though, that I've been debating whether or not to take my business across the street to the recently opened Beans & Brews.
These are blasphemous words I speak, I know. The coffee Gods might strike me down and make me drink Yuban forever... BARF!
There are two reasons for this decision I'm trying to make. One, I can't stand being around my ex-girlfriend when she is working because it feels like she takes a certain pleasure in ignoring my presence.
To be perfectly frank, I'm starting to dislike her and her attitude towards me. But then again, I guess I deserve it.
The second reason is the fact that the night shift here in this Starbucks is lacking customer service. It's mostly younger people who can be quite rude from time to time and not even realize it. That just seems to be the way with the youth of today. A "fuck you and fuck this job" kind of work ethic.
Now, I'm not trying to be completely negative of my time here or some of the people that work here.
There are some great people here that know me on a first name basis. I would hate to take my business elsewhere (especially Beans & Brews that has even worse youth working for them) but I'm strongly considering it.
I will say that during the night shift, employees and customers alike have grown to enjoy my constant presence. Or, at least, that's what a few have said to me personally. That's nice.
In one of my earlier blog postings, "17 years and $257,435", I mentioned that I don't have much to show for the amount of money I've made in my working life. I can say this, in the past couple of years, I do have a huge Starbucks habit to show for some of that money.
If I had to gauge the amount of money I drop in Starbucks annually, it's probably close to a grand or so.
What can I say? I love coffee. Plus, I do have some fond memories involving this Starbucks. Some of those include the early months of my developing relationship with my now ex-girlfriend barista. Others involve previous jobs I had and people I knew that I would come here with.
Now those friends and girlfriend aren't around anymore. Well, except the girlfriend who continues to work here. I try not to come in here when I see her car just to avoid the bullshit wall she has put up between her and I...
... sorry... I swore I would never talk about this again, huh? I can't help it. It pisses me off that I feel like a goddamn outcast because of this fucked up situation between her and I. I feel like I have to go somewhere else because I have this sense of not feeling welcome here anymore.
You know what? Fuck it, fuck it, fuck it. And fuck her, too.
This blog is completely off course here. Jesus.. let me share my routine.
Since I work on Saturday, Sunday and Monday, I don't come to Starbucks. I'm too tired when I get home. Instead, I make some dinner, drink a beer and watch a couple of episodes of South Park on DVD since I don't have the luxury of cable.
I love that show. LOVE IT! It puts a smile on my face every time. To use a cliche, it's LAUGH OUT LOUD FUNNY!
Then, on Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and sometimes Friday, I come into Starbucks. I get a cup of coffee and sit here for hours. No shit... FOR HOURS. I also drink a lot of coffee while I sit here.
Lately, I've been getting here just after noon and staying until they close at 11 PM. I've been known to do this for all my four days off!
With this routine, brings curious other Starbucks regulars my way. I've met a good many people while I sit here playing on the internet and uploading my CD collection into my iTunes.
Another thing happened while I sat here a couple of weeks back. I was in the Utah chat room here on MySpace (yes, they have chat rooms here) while uploading my Filter collection into my iTunes, when quite unexpectedly, I became host to a chat room meeting where people from the room came to Starbucks to hang out.
I'm not making this up.
It was interesting how it all came about. It was interesting to meet even more new people. However, I felt slightly odd and creeped out. I'm not sure why. I guess it's just weird to associate with people on the internet and then meet them.
Cyber space is great about keeping you faceless and in a bubble of privacy where you can be whomever you want. It's also a dangerous place where you'll find out quickly that you're never really in a privacy bubble safe behind your computer.
It also makes me wonder how many others from the chat room have stopped by to catch a glimpse of the guy who never seems to leave... that being me.
One of the chat room regulars asked me if I was worried about someone waiting outside Starbucks and following me home to bring me harm or rob me?
This is where my being naive comes into play because I've never really thought about it. Why would I? Fuck, I'm 33. I can hold my own and it's been my experience that most people on the internet only talk shit and never truly go out and hunt someone down.
But then again, there is a first time for everything. Knowing my luck, I'll be the guy taking a bullet on my porch going into my house from some pissed off cyber douche.
I'm creeping myself out. Sheesh.
Anyway, my point is that I'm spending more time in Starbucks than normal as well as money. But I enjoy myself here.
I'm alone but not lonely. Especially when I'm in Starbucks. It's a great spot to people watch and hang out. I also enjoy overhearing other peoples conversations as well as having some of my own with people I meet.
I just wish there wasn't such a barrier between myself and my ex-girlfriend. I honestly thought things would be great between us and we'd be on wonderful speaking terms. But, alas, I'm back to just being a regular customer.
And sometimes, not a very well respected one.
They moved their furniture... again.
I've turned into one of those people you always see in Starbucks on their laptops. Of course, most normal people have a Starbucks limit and... what's that called?... OH YEAH... A LIFE!
Actually, I'm dissing myself here. I may be abnormal for sitting in Starbucks for hours on end but at least I'm out of the house and being somewhat sociable.
But if you look at it from the other side of the fence, you could say that what I'm doing is sad and pathetic and makes me a loser maybe, huh?
Naaahhhhhhhhh... it's no different than being on the internet at home for hours. It's just different because I'm on display being in such a public and social meeting place. So what? I like taking up space here.
Starbucks - bringing people and cultures together!
-Mike The Janitor
©2006
Millenoma Publishing
Because, as we all know I have no internet at my home, I come to Starbucks in West Valley to utilize the internet.
I like coming to Starbucks. I've been a customer of this location since it opened. I remember my reaction to seeing the almost finished product before it opened. I remember thinking, as well as spreading the word to others in the area, that "it's about fucking time!" Starbucks came out this way.
I have to admit, though, that I've been debating whether or not to take my business across the street to the recently opened Beans & Brews.
These are blasphemous words I speak, I know. The coffee Gods might strike me down and make me drink Yuban forever... BARF!
There are two reasons for this decision I'm trying to make. One, I can't stand being around my ex-girlfriend when she is working because it feels like she takes a certain pleasure in ignoring my presence.
To be perfectly frank, I'm starting to dislike her and her attitude towards me. But then again, I guess I deserve it.
The second reason is the fact that the night shift here in this Starbucks is lacking customer service. It's mostly younger people who can be quite rude from time to time and not even realize it. That just seems to be the way with the youth of today. A "fuck you and fuck this job" kind of work ethic.
Now, I'm not trying to be completely negative of my time here or some of the people that work here.
There are some great people here that know me on a first name basis. I would hate to take my business elsewhere (especially Beans & Brews that has even worse youth working for them) but I'm strongly considering it.
I will say that during the night shift, employees and customers alike have grown to enjoy my constant presence. Or, at least, that's what a few have said to me personally. That's nice.
In one of my earlier blog postings, "17 years and $257,435", I mentioned that I don't have much to show for the amount of money I've made in my working life. I can say this, in the past couple of years, I do have a huge Starbucks habit to show for some of that money.
If I had to gauge the amount of money I drop in Starbucks annually, it's probably close to a grand or so.
What can I say? I love coffee. Plus, I do have some fond memories involving this Starbucks. Some of those include the early months of my developing relationship with my now ex-girlfriend barista. Others involve previous jobs I had and people I knew that I would come here with.
Now those friends and girlfriend aren't around anymore. Well, except the girlfriend who continues to work here. I try not to come in here when I see her car just to avoid the bullshit wall she has put up between her and I...
... sorry... I swore I would never talk about this again, huh? I can't help it. It pisses me off that I feel like a goddamn outcast because of this fucked up situation between her and I. I feel like I have to go somewhere else because I have this sense of not feeling welcome here anymore.
You know what? Fuck it, fuck it, fuck it. And fuck her, too.
This blog is completely off course here. Jesus.. let me share my routine.
Since I work on Saturday, Sunday and Monday, I don't come to Starbucks. I'm too tired when I get home. Instead, I make some dinner, drink a beer and watch a couple of episodes of South Park on DVD since I don't have the luxury of cable.
I love that show. LOVE IT! It puts a smile on my face every time. To use a cliche, it's LAUGH OUT LOUD FUNNY!
Then, on Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and sometimes Friday, I come into Starbucks. I get a cup of coffee and sit here for hours. No shit... FOR HOURS. I also drink a lot of coffee while I sit here.
Lately, I've been getting here just after noon and staying until they close at 11 PM. I've been known to do this for all my four days off!
With this routine, brings curious other Starbucks regulars my way. I've met a good many people while I sit here playing on the internet and uploading my CD collection into my iTunes.
Another thing happened while I sat here a couple of weeks back. I was in the Utah chat room here on MySpace (yes, they have chat rooms here) while uploading my Filter collection into my iTunes, when quite unexpectedly, I became host to a chat room meeting where people from the room came to Starbucks to hang out.
I'm not making this up.
It was interesting how it all came about. It was interesting to meet even more new people. However, I felt slightly odd and creeped out. I'm not sure why. I guess it's just weird to associate with people on the internet and then meet them.
Cyber space is great about keeping you faceless and in a bubble of privacy where you can be whomever you want. It's also a dangerous place where you'll find out quickly that you're never really in a privacy bubble safe behind your computer.
It also makes me wonder how many others from the chat room have stopped by to catch a glimpse of the guy who never seems to leave... that being me.
One of the chat room regulars asked me if I was worried about someone waiting outside Starbucks and following me home to bring me harm or rob me?
This is where my being naive comes into play because I've never really thought about it. Why would I? Fuck, I'm 33. I can hold my own and it's been my experience that most people on the internet only talk shit and never truly go out and hunt someone down.
But then again, there is a first time for everything. Knowing my luck, I'll be the guy taking a bullet on my porch going into my house from some pissed off cyber douche.
I'm creeping myself out. Sheesh.
Anyway, my point is that I'm spending more time in Starbucks than normal as well as money. But I enjoy myself here.
I'm alone but not lonely. Especially when I'm in Starbucks. It's a great spot to people watch and hang out. I also enjoy overhearing other peoples conversations as well as having some of my own with people I meet.
I just wish there wasn't such a barrier between myself and my ex-girlfriend. I honestly thought things would be great between us and we'd be on wonderful speaking terms. But, alas, I'm back to just being a regular customer.
And sometimes, not a very well respected one.
They moved their furniture... again.
I've turned into one of those people you always see in Starbucks on their laptops. Of course, most normal people have a Starbucks limit and... what's that called?... OH YEAH... A LIFE!
Actually, I'm dissing myself here. I may be abnormal for sitting in Starbucks for hours on end but at least I'm out of the house and being somewhat sociable.
But if you look at it from the other side of the fence, you could say that what I'm doing is sad and pathetic and makes me a loser maybe, huh?
Naaahhhhhhhhh... it's no different than being on the internet at home for hours. It's just different because I'm on display being in such a public and social meeting place. So what? I like taking up space here.
Starbucks - bringing people and cultures together!
-Mike The Janitor
©2006
Millenoma Publishing
17 years and $257,435
I can't begin to express how happy it makes me when I get my annual statement from the Social Security Administration.
This year, I had even more fun when I decided to add up all the years that are reported on this statement and see how much money I've earned (and been taxed) over the last 17 years of my working life.
The whopping grand total is $257,435. That's TWO HUNDRED FIFTY SEVEN THOUSAND FOUR HUNDRED THIRTY FIVE dollars.
Holy shit franks and beans!
Do I have a nice, modest home to show for such earnings? No. Perhaps a boat? No. Maybe a townhouse in the trendy side of town? Nu-uh. How about a lush savings account? Hahahahahahahaha... are you kidding? NO! How about a Mercedes, Jaguar, Bentley or BMW? Again, NO!
Maybe I've invested in my own business and made even more money? Nope. Maybe I invested in stocks and bonds and made a bigger profit. No, I can't say I did that either. Maybe I've got all the cash stuffed in a mattress? If I did, I'd own a much nicer bed than the shitty air mattress I sleep on now.
This annual statement is a constant reminder of what I could have now and don't. Why? Because I'm a turd when it comes to money. My spending is compulsive and impulsive.
The question is, what DO I have to show for such earnings?
Nothing... not really.
But it's never too late for change and I'm working for a brighter tomorrow.
Wait... did I just say something as gay as "working for a brighter tomorrow?" I did, didn't I? Shit, while I'm at it, I might as well as run for some government office with a cheese ball line like that!
*puke*
-Mike The Janitor
©2006
Millenoma Publishing
This year, I had even more fun when I decided to add up all the years that are reported on this statement and see how much money I've earned (and been taxed) over the last 17 years of my working life.
The whopping grand total is $257,435. That's TWO HUNDRED FIFTY SEVEN THOUSAND FOUR HUNDRED THIRTY FIVE dollars.
Holy shit franks and beans!
Do I have a nice, modest home to show for such earnings? No. Perhaps a boat? No. Maybe a townhouse in the trendy side of town? Nu-uh. How about a lush savings account? Hahahahahahahaha... are you kidding? NO! How about a Mercedes, Jaguar, Bentley or BMW? Again, NO!
Maybe I've invested in my own business and made even more money? Nope. Maybe I invested in stocks and bonds and made a bigger profit. No, I can't say I did that either. Maybe I've got all the cash stuffed in a mattress? If I did, I'd own a much nicer bed than the shitty air mattress I sleep on now.
This annual statement is a constant reminder of what I could have now and don't. Why? Because I'm a turd when it comes to money. My spending is compulsive and impulsive.
The question is, what DO I have to show for such earnings?
Nothing... not really.
But it's never too late for change and I'm working for a brighter tomorrow.
Wait... did I just say something as gay as "working for a brighter tomorrow?" I did, didn't I? Shit, while I'm at it, I might as well as run for some government office with a cheese ball line like that!
*puke*
-Mike The Janitor
©2006
Millenoma Publishing
Mike's Top 20, Top 10 & Top 5
Ahhhhhhhhh, music. It's good for the soul, you know? Of course, it's rumored I have no soul and I'm just an extension of Lucifer. But that doesn't change how much I love music and listen to it while spreading the word of the Prince of Darkness. Hail Satan!
Whatever.
Mike's Top 20 Songs:
20: Midnight Oil "Dreamworld (live)"
19: Chevelle "Send The Pain Below"
18: Elbow "Newborn"
17: Taproot "Mine"
16: Better Than Ezra "Extra Ordinary"
15: Jimmy Cliff "I Can See Clearly Now"
14: Soft Cell "Sex Dwarf"
13: Johnny Kemp "Just Got Paid"
12: Hot Sauce Johnson "Lost Picasso"
11: Rage Against The Machine "Calm Like A Bomb"
10: Yello "The Race"
09: Pink Floyd "Shine On You Crazy Diamond"
08: Dashboard Confessional "Saints And Sailors"
07: Gil-Scott Heron "The Bottle"
06: Paleface "Jingle Jingle ..1 Smash Hit Christmas Single"
05: Bob Marley & The Wailers "Satisfy My Soul"
04: Geoff Muldaur "Brazil"
03: Big Audio Dynamite "Rush"
02: Mike Doughty "Busting Up A Starbucks"
01: Midnight Oil "Read About It"
Mike's Top 10 CD's:
10: Music From The Motion Picture "Amadeus"
09: Cake "Fashion Nugget"
08: Music From The Motion Picture "Brazil"
07: Pink Floyd "Wish You Were Here"
06: Music From The Motion Picture "The Matrix: Reloaded"
05: Lenny Kravitz "Are You Gonna Go My Way?"
04: Various Artists "Millenium Disco Party"
03: Nickelback "The State"
02: Stone Temple Pilots "Core"
01: Midnight Oil "Dream In Blue - Live"
Mike's Top 5 DVD's:
05: The Ref
04: Office Space
03: K-19: The Widowmaker
02: American Pie
01: A Christmas Story
-Mike The Janitor
©2006
Millenoma Publishing
Whatever.
Mike's Top 20 Songs:
20: Midnight Oil "Dreamworld (live)"
19: Chevelle "Send The Pain Below"
18: Elbow "Newborn"
17: Taproot "Mine"
16: Better Than Ezra "Extra Ordinary"
15: Jimmy Cliff "I Can See Clearly Now"
14: Soft Cell "Sex Dwarf"
13: Johnny Kemp "Just Got Paid"
12: Hot Sauce Johnson "Lost Picasso"
11: Rage Against The Machine "Calm Like A Bomb"
10: Yello "The Race"
09: Pink Floyd "Shine On You Crazy Diamond"
08: Dashboard Confessional "Saints And Sailors"
07: Gil-Scott Heron "The Bottle"
06: Paleface "Jingle Jingle ..1 Smash Hit Christmas Single"
05: Bob Marley & The Wailers "Satisfy My Soul"
04: Geoff Muldaur "Brazil"
03: Big Audio Dynamite "Rush"
02: Mike Doughty "Busting Up A Starbucks"
01: Midnight Oil "Read About It"
Mike's Top 10 CD's:
10: Music From The Motion Picture "Amadeus"
09: Cake "Fashion Nugget"
08: Music From The Motion Picture "Brazil"
07: Pink Floyd "Wish You Were Here"
06: Music From The Motion Picture "The Matrix: Reloaded"
05: Lenny Kravitz "Are You Gonna Go My Way?"
04: Various Artists "Millenium Disco Party"
03: Nickelback "The State"
02: Stone Temple Pilots "Core"
01: Midnight Oil "Dream In Blue - Live"
Mike's Top 5 DVD's:
05: The Ref
04: Office Space
03: K-19: The Widowmaker
02: American Pie
01: A Christmas Story
-Mike The Janitor
©2006
Millenoma Publishing
11.22.2006
Gobble gobble
To all my friends on my friend list here on MySpace as well as visiting strangers...
HAPPY THANKSGIVING!
In honor of this festive day of celebration, let me whip out my horn of plenty for the ladies as well as fire off some rounds from my musket!
And for the guys, well... how about a handshake and a pat on the back? I promise to wash my hands first after whipping out my horn of plenty and firing off my musket.
HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY THANKSGIVING!
I wrote a poem for this grand day of days:
Beets are red
Gravy is brown
This Thanksgiving poem is going to surely make me look like a clown
But I don't care
Since I dare
To take a moment to share
My feelings to you and yours
As you sit and eat behind closed doors
I'll sit on MySpace trying to score
A new woman in my life
That doesn't think of me as some kind of man whore
I'll, too, be enjoying lots of festive eats
And my mom's special Jell-O treats
I'll be thankful for many great things
And think of myself as the king of kings
Oh what joy Thanksgiving will bring
It's a holiday that makes me want to dance and sing
Time with family, time with friends
And, on that note, I'll bring my poem to an end
But just one last thing before I go
While I type away with cheery glow
Soon there will be snow and Christmas trees
Carolers singing wonderful melodies
And I'll think of each one of you then as I do now
Merry Christmas to all and
Happy Thanksgiving right now.
Happy Thanksgiving to my friends, family, co-workers, cyber buddies and sworn enemies.
-Mike The Janitor
©2006
Millenoma Publishing
HAPPY THANKSGIVING!
In honor of this festive day of celebration, let me whip out my horn of plenty for the ladies as well as fire off some rounds from my musket!
And for the guys, well... how about a handshake and a pat on the back? I promise to wash my hands first after whipping out my horn of plenty and firing off my musket.
HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY THANKSGIVING!
I wrote a poem for this grand day of days:
Beets are red
Gravy is brown
This Thanksgiving poem is going to surely make me look like a clown
But I don't care
Since I dare
To take a moment to share
My feelings to you and yours
As you sit and eat behind closed doors
I'll sit on MySpace trying to score
A new woman in my life
That doesn't think of me as some kind of man whore
I'll, too, be enjoying lots of festive eats
And my mom's special Jell-O treats
I'll be thankful for many great things
And think of myself as the king of kings
Oh what joy Thanksgiving will bring
It's a holiday that makes me want to dance and sing
Time with family, time with friends
And, on that note, I'll bring my poem to an end
But just one last thing before I go
While I type away with cheery glow
Soon there will be snow and Christmas trees
Carolers singing wonderful melodies
And I'll think of each one of you then as I do now
Merry Christmas to all and
Happy Thanksgiving right now.
Happy Thanksgiving to my friends, family, co-workers, cyber buddies and sworn enemies.
-Mike The Janitor
©2006
Millenoma Publishing
11.21.2006
"CAYG"
Within the confines of the Wal*Mart Distribution Center where I work (which I will now refer to ONLY as the "Mothership") are giant yellow banners with black words on them that say "CAYG".
Up until recently, I often wondered what the hell that meant. Was it some sort of secret code for the area you were in or an acronym for something or a subliminal message of some sort?
It never bothered me THAT much to ask until a couple of weeks ago I was able to put two and two together... which equaled a four letter word the spelled "CAYG".
You're so dying from the suspense to find out what that means, huh? Perhaps you already know.
"CAYG" means:
CLEAN
AS
YOU
GO
That's it. Clean As You Go. Meaning, clean up after yourself. And I must admit that this keeps us running a very clean warehouse. I remember thinking how clean it was when I took my first tour before I was hired.
I've been in and worked for a couple of warehouses in my time where there was SHIT everywhere. But not at the ol' Mothership. No sir. Thanks to "CAYG", we can all sleep easier at night knowing our warehouse is in tip top shape.
Whatever.
Actually, the reason I bring up "CAYG" is because it always make me laugh. It still does. CAYG looks and sounds like the way someone with a heavy Boston accent would say the word "cock".
"Fuck you. Suck my CAYG!"
Any of you that have heard or know people from Boston (or even other areas with thick accents) can laugh at this because it's so true.
So every time I see the "CAYG" banners, I giggle and think "COCK".
You know something? I wish my Starbucks would quit rearranging their goddamn furniture in here.
Sorry, random thought.
Anyway, yesterday while I was slaving away, I was able to work alongside one of the more crazy personalities on our crew. His name is Jason.
Jason is a funny guy. This past Saturday we had a General Meeting at the Mothership (this is where everyone gets together in one meeting place for pats on the back and company updates and to be collectively yelled at for fuck up's).
What's great about the General Meetings on the Mothership is the fact they have an almost concert like stage dedicated to them. They have HUGE speakers that hang from the ceiling of the Mothership concert stage and wireless mics and the whole shebang!
I'm sure that somewhere they even have a drum kit, synthesizers, an electric guitar and a bass to jam on when things are going really good on the Mothership. I want to form a Wal*Mart Marching Band. That would be fucking awesome.
Where was I? OH YEAH! JASON! Anyway, Jason jumped up on the Mothership stage this past Saturday and started dancing to the beats coming from the sound system. He got everyone into a frenzy. Not a bad dancer, either.
So, as I was working along with Jason on Monday, I came to find out that he is from Reno, Nevada. This was crazy news to me since I spent a good part of my radio career working in Reno, Nevada (eight years or so).
No shit? Small world. So, as we unloaded freight, we came to know one another. Jason is 32 and went to Reed High School. His family still lives in Reno. And he remembers me from working on the radio there. Well, my radio name, anyway.
He also remembers my close friend Nick Danger and Rob, Arnie & Dawn. He knows of 105.7 KOZZ and Pure Rock 104.5. We had a long talk about all kinds of stuff from my radio career to his desire to also want to do radio.
Now he's looking to become an extra in movies here in the area and work towards being an actor. He'd be perfect. The guy is off the hook and very funny. Not to mention outgoing and the like.
As we continued to talk, the funniest thing happened. I looked down at the freight I was unloading on the conveyor belt and saw the company name. Get this, it was Silenco (which manufactures ear plugs and other safety items) and they're based in Sparks, Nevada which is a suburb of Reno.
The world works in mysterious ways.
This is my life and my card is American Express... bwhahahahahahahahaha.
-Mike The Janitor
©2006
Millenoma Publishing
Up until recently, I often wondered what the hell that meant. Was it some sort of secret code for the area you were in or an acronym for something or a subliminal message of some sort?
It never bothered me THAT much to ask until a couple of weeks ago I was able to put two and two together... which equaled a four letter word the spelled "CAYG".
You're so dying from the suspense to find out what that means, huh? Perhaps you already know.
"CAYG" means:
CLEAN
AS
YOU
GO
That's it. Clean As You Go. Meaning, clean up after yourself. And I must admit that this keeps us running a very clean warehouse. I remember thinking how clean it was when I took my first tour before I was hired.
I've been in and worked for a couple of warehouses in my time where there was SHIT everywhere. But not at the ol' Mothership. No sir. Thanks to "CAYG", we can all sleep easier at night knowing our warehouse is in tip top shape.
Whatever.
Actually, the reason I bring up "CAYG" is because it always make me laugh. It still does. CAYG looks and sounds like the way someone with a heavy Boston accent would say the word "cock".
"Fuck you. Suck my CAYG!"
Any of you that have heard or know people from Boston (or even other areas with thick accents) can laugh at this because it's so true.
So every time I see the "CAYG" banners, I giggle and think "COCK".
You know something? I wish my Starbucks would quit rearranging their goddamn furniture in here.
Sorry, random thought.
Anyway, yesterday while I was slaving away, I was able to work alongside one of the more crazy personalities on our crew. His name is Jason.
Jason is a funny guy. This past Saturday we had a General Meeting at the Mothership (this is where everyone gets together in one meeting place for pats on the back and company updates and to be collectively yelled at for fuck up's).
What's great about the General Meetings on the Mothership is the fact they have an almost concert like stage dedicated to them. They have HUGE speakers that hang from the ceiling of the Mothership concert stage and wireless mics and the whole shebang!
I'm sure that somewhere they even have a drum kit, synthesizers, an electric guitar and a bass to jam on when things are going really good on the Mothership. I want to form a Wal*Mart Marching Band. That would be fucking awesome.
Where was I? OH YEAH! JASON! Anyway, Jason jumped up on the Mothership stage this past Saturday and started dancing to the beats coming from the sound system. He got everyone into a frenzy. Not a bad dancer, either.
So, as I was working along with Jason on Monday, I came to find out that he is from Reno, Nevada. This was crazy news to me since I spent a good part of my radio career working in Reno, Nevada (eight years or so).
No shit? Small world. So, as we unloaded freight, we came to know one another. Jason is 32 and went to Reed High School. His family still lives in Reno. And he remembers me from working on the radio there. Well, my radio name, anyway.
He also remembers my close friend Nick Danger and Rob, Arnie & Dawn. He knows of 105.7 KOZZ and Pure Rock 104.5. We had a long talk about all kinds of stuff from my radio career to his desire to also want to do radio.
Now he's looking to become an extra in movies here in the area and work towards being an actor. He'd be perfect. The guy is off the hook and very funny. Not to mention outgoing and the like.
As we continued to talk, the funniest thing happened. I looked down at the freight I was unloading on the conveyor belt and saw the company name. Get this, it was Silenco (which manufactures ear plugs and other safety items) and they're based in Sparks, Nevada which is a suburb of Reno.
The world works in mysterious ways.
This is my life and my card is American Express... bwhahahahahahahahaha.
-Mike The Janitor
©2006
Millenoma Publishing
11.20.2006
Mike's Top 20, Top 10 & Top 5
Boy oh boy, it's another edition of my weekly list of songs, CD's and DVD's! Enjoy.
Mike's Top 20 Songs:
20: KC & The Sunshine Band "Get Down Tonight"
19: Ben Folds Five "Jackson Cannery"
18: XTC "Scissor Man (live)"
17: Lenny Kravitz "Straight Cold Player"
16: John Cougar Mellencamp "Crumblin' Down"
15: EPMD "Strictly Business"
14: Julian Cope "Charlotte Anne"
13: Eddie Money "Two Tickets To Paradise"
12: Tenacious D. "City Hall"
11: The Toasters "Don't Let The Bastards Grind You Down"
10: Bobby Darin "Fly Me To The Moon"
09: Snopp Dogg & Pharrell "Drop It Like It's Hot"
08: INXS "Suicide Blonde"
07: MC Hammer "2 Legit 2 Quit"
06: LL Cool J "Around The Way Girl"
05: Boyz II Men "Motownphilly"
04: Cyndi Lauper "True Colors"
03: XTC "Don't Lose Your Temper"
02: Wang Chung "Look At Me Now"
01: Chris Kowanko "Modern Daze"
Mike's Top 10 CD's:
10: XTC "BBC Radio 1 Live"
09: Wang Chung "Points On The Curve"
08: Music From The Motion Picture "Blade Runner"
07: Ben Fold Five "Ben Folds Five"
06: Chris Kowanko "Kowanko"
05: Various Artists "Kool Rap"
04: Faithless "Outrospective"
03: Cyndi Lauper "Twelve Deadly Cyns... And Then Some"
02: XTC "Drums & Wires"
01: XTC "English Settlement"
Mike's Top 5 DVD's:
05: Control Room
04: World According To Garp
03: As Good As It Gets
02: Matchstick Men
01: Rick
-Mike The Janitor
©2006
Millenoma Publishing
Mike's Top 20 Songs:
20: KC & The Sunshine Band "Get Down Tonight"
19: Ben Folds Five "Jackson Cannery"
18: XTC "Scissor Man (live)"
17: Lenny Kravitz "Straight Cold Player"
16: John Cougar Mellencamp "Crumblin' Down"
15: EPMD "Strictly Business"
14: Julian Cope "Charlotte Anne"
13: Eddie Money "Two Tickets To Paradise"
12: Tenacious D. "City Hall"
11: The Toasters "Don't Let The Bastards Grind You Down"
10: Bobby Darin "Fly Me To The Moon"
09: Snopp Dogg & Pharrell "Drop It Like It's Hot"
08: INXS "Suicide Blonde"
07: MC Hammer "2 Legit 2 Quit"
06: LL Cool J "Around The Way Girl"
05: Boyz II Men "Motownphilly"
04: Cyndi Lauper "True Colors"
03: XTC "Don't Lose Your Temper"
02: Wang Chung "Look At Me Now"
01: Chris Kowanko "Modern Daze"
Mike's Top 10 CD's:
10: XTC "BBC Radio 1 Live"
09: Wang Chung "Points On The Curve"
08: Music From The Motion Picture "Blade Runner"
07: Ben Fold Five "Ben Folds Five"
06: Chris Kowanko "Kowanko"
05: Various Artists "Kool Rap"
04: Faithless "Outrospective"
03: Cyndi Lauper "Twelve Deadly Cyns... And Then Some"
02: XTC "Drums & Wires"
01: XTC "English Settlement"
Mike's Top 5 DVD's:
05: Control Room
04: World According To Garp
03: As Good As It Gets
02: Matchstick Men
01: Rick
-Mike The Janitor
©2006
Millenoma Publishing
11.17.2006
This will be the last time I mention this... I SWEAR!
This whole week I've been feeling really quite under the weather.
But then I wonder if I'm sick at all.
I think I'm more in this kind of denial of depression. Maybe not even depression more than I'm suffering from shame and heartache.
The heartache is from losing my girlfriend to my own inability to get my shit together. The shame also comes from this same feeling.
The shame was even more re-enforced as I received yet another email on the subject. This email comes from another individual who was once involved in my life but is no longer.
There was a time, not long ago, that this individual and his wife were good friends of mine. Until I fucked up and let them down. Collectively, they'd issued this almost "matter-of-fact" statement to me via MySpace that really slapped me in the face as hard as my girlfriend leaving me. It says:
Mike,
Well, I guess it was a matter of time before we found you on MySpace. It seems that everyone is on here now. Myself and my wife have to admit that we find a somewhat sick pleasure in your misery.
We've been reading your tales of woe for a few months now. And it was I that made the decision to confront you. My wife was not to sure of the idea but decided that she was in on this as much as I was.
Years ago you screwed us over, Mike. And you know what I speak of. You have still not fixed the problem that you caused when we helped you out. We've come to the conclusion that you never will, either.
The reason we find pleasure in your pain is because we believe this is karma coming back round to hurt you as you have hurt others.
You are a bad person. A liar and a cheat. It's no wonder your girlfriend left you because you're a piece of shit.
Why don't you spend more time becoming a better person and fixing the wrongs you have set in motion (especially ones from your past) and less time wallowing like some fuck?
What exactly are you trying to accomplish by writing all of this bullshit in these silly little blogs? Do you really think people give that much of a damn? The only reason my wife and I care is because it just goes to show us how wrong we were about you.
And, clearly, your girlfriend caught on way quicker and made such a smart move in losing your dead weight.
My wife and I have no respect for you and your troubles. Other people may be buying into your views on what you've been going through but we sure as hell aren't.
I will admit, personally, that I was happy for you and admired the fact that you found such a promising career when you got that job working on the railroad. I thought it was way cooler that you were operating a locomotive than all those years you spent working in radio.
Then you pissed that away and walked off the job or whatever the hell happened.
Now you're like any other person with no ambitions working in a warehouse unloading freight all day.
Wow, I'm so impressed, Mike.
This is why your girlfriend left you. This is why people don't want to be involved with you. YOU ARE self destructive, Mike. And you deserve to be in the back of those trailers unloading freight for the rest of your working life.
I say this to not be spiteful or hateful. I say it because you'll never learn and haven't appreciated the people throughout your life that have been there for you and have helped you.
My wife and I will pray for you, Mike. Because only God can help you now for you have been damned.
-Jeff & Lulu
There have been a few moments throughout my life where I have been completely deflated. This email has created one of those moments.
Ironically, as I read over this email a few times and let it sink in, my ex-girlfriend has been working here at Starbucks. She's passed me a couple of times and not even bothered to acknowledge my existence.
I really wanted to grab her and hug her and express how sorry I was for everything. And not just express how sorry I was for what I've become to her but how sorry I was for what I've become to others.
But she's not my therapist. She isn't my priest. She isn't my girlfriend. And I don't feel like she even wants to be a friend.
I'm just this shadow of a guy she used to know. A regular that comes and wastes time at Starbucks.
I have become the villain in my own movie of life.
Jeff and Lulu are right. I am damned.
I accept this fate. I accept these harsh words from two former friends. I accept this break-up. I accept that I need to make changes.
I will not accept defeat.
I WILL NOT ACCEPT DEFEAT.
I will make a comeback and make amends. Not matter how Jeff and Lulu, or anyone, see that working in a warehouse means I have no ambitions is horseshit! What does that say about the other people I work with? Only losers work at Wal*Mart? Fuck that!
I may be cursed to unload trucks all day and NOT performing on the radio or operating locomotives. But it shows I AM making a difference and putting my best foot forward.
There is a great line from the film "The Shawshank Redemption" that goes:
"Get busy living or get busy dying"
This is very true.
"It's better to love and lost than to never loved at all"
I agree.
"What doesn't kill us only makes us stronger"
All of these quotes are words to live by. And they all apply to my current situation in life.
I will get through this. I have and will continue to learn from my mistakes as I get older.
And to anyone out there who thinks I am forever damned and condemned to live unhappily in a downward spiral of self destruction and pain...
... FUCK YOU.
-Mike The Janitor
©2006
Millenoma Publishing
But then I wonder if I'm sick at all.
I think I'm more in this kind of denial of depression. Maybe not even depression more than I'm suffering from shame and heartache.
The heartache is from losing my girlfriend to my own inability to get my shit together. The shame also comes from this same feeling.
The shame was even more re-enforced as I received yet another email on the subject. This email comes from another individual who was once involved in my life but is no longer.
There was a time, not long ago, that this individual and his wife were good friends of mine. Until I fucked up and let them down. Collectively, they'd issued this almost "matter-of-fact" statement to me via MySpace that really slapped me in the face as hard as my girlfriend leaving me. It says:
Mike,
Well, I guess it was a matter of time before we found you on MySpace. It seems that everyone is on here now. Myself and my wife have to admit that we find a somewhat sick pleasure in your misery.
We've been reading your tales of woe for a few months now. And it was I that made the decision to confront you. My wife was not to sure of the idea but decided that she was in on this as much as I was.
Years ago you screwed us over, Mike. And you know what I speak of. You have still not fixed the problem that you caused when we helped you out. We've come to the conclusion that you never will, either.
The reason we find pleasure in your pain is because we believe this is karma coming back round to hurt you as you have hurt others.
You are a bad person. A liar and a cheat. It's no wonder your girlfriend left you because you're a piece of shit.
Why don't you spend more time becoming a better person and fixing the wrongs you have set in motion (especially ones from your past) and less time wallowing like some fuck?
What exactly are you trying to accomplish by writing all of this bullshit in these silly little blogs? Do you really think people give that much of a damn? The only reason my wife and I care is because it just goes to show us how wrong we were about you.
And, clearly, your girlfriend caught on way quicker and made such a smart move in losing your dead weight.
My wife and I have no respect for you and your troubles. Other people may be buying into your views on what you've been going through but we sure as hell aren't.
I will admit, personally, that I was happy for you and admired the fact that you found such a promising career when you got that job working on the railroad. I thought it was way cooler that you were operating a locomotive than all those years you spent working in radio.
Then you pissed that away and walked off the job or whatever the hell happened.
Now you're like any other person with no ambitions working in a warehouse unloading freight all day.
Wow, I'm so impressed, Mike.
This is why your girlfriend left you. This is why people don't want to be involved with you. YOU ARE self destructive, Mike. And you deserve to be in the back of those trailers unloading freight for the rest of your working life.
I say this to not be spiteful or hateful. I say it because you'll never learn and haven't appreciated the people throughout your life that have been there for you and have helped you.
My wife and I will pray for you, Mike. Because only God can help you now for you have been damned.
-Jeff & Lulu
There have been a few moments throughout my life where I have been completely deflated. This email has created one of those moments.
Ironically, as I read over this email a few times and let it sink in, my ex-girlfriend has been working here at Starbucks. She's passed me a couple of times and not even bothered to acknowledge my existence.
I really wanted to grab her and hug her and express how sorry I was for everything. And not just express how sorry I was for what I've become to her but how sorry I was for what I've become to others.
But she's not my therapist. She isn't my priest. She isn't my girlfriend. And I don't feel like she even wants to be a friend.
I'm just this shadow of a guy she used to know. A regular that comes and wastes time at Starbucks.
I have become the villain in my own movie of life.
Jeff and Lulu are right. I am damned.
I accept this fate. I accept these harsh words from two former friends. I accept this break-up. I accept that I need to make changes.
I will not accept defeat.
I WILL NOT ACCEPT DEFEAT.
I will make a comeback and make amends. Not matter how Jeff and Lulu, or anyone, see that working in a warehouse means I have no ambitions is horseshit! What does that say about the other people I work with? Only losers work at Wal*Mart? Fuck that!
I may be cursed to unload trucks all day and NOT performing on the radio or operating locomotives. But it shows I AM making a difference and putting my best foot forward.
There is a great line from the film "The Shawshank Redemption" that goes:
"Get busy living or get busy dying"
This is very true.
"It's better to love and lost than to never loved at all"
I agree.
"What doesn't kill us only makes us stronger"
All of these quotes are words to live by. And they all apply to my current situation in life.
I will get through this. I have and will continue to learn from my mistakes as I get older.
And to anyone out there who thinks I am forever damned and condemned to live unhappily in a downward spiral of self destruction and pain...
... FUCK YOU.
-Mike The Janitor
©2006
Millenoma Publishing
11.15.2006
And still more input
As I try to comprehend the death of a girl I used to hang out with and have the sexual relations with, let me share even more input I've received since breaking the news about the break up with my girlfriend, the Starbucks barista.
The following is an email I got from a longtime friend of mine, Shawn, who had this to say:
---------------------------------------------------------------
Mike,
1. I have met your mother...SHE'S REAL!
2. This "lesson" is what you needed when you and Chris took a shit.
3. I don't think you realize what a positive impact you have on people because of your pity party (that neeevvvveeeeerrrrrr ends).
4. You're a great guy who's intelligence is overshadowed by your stupidity with money!!!!!
5. There are people out there (like me) that want you to be happy but until now, haven't seen or heard anything remotely close to what you have put in this blog. I believe you this time...you're going to be just fine!
6. Do I need to send you my coffee maker and a jug of coffee?
I do hope this "KJ" is as good for you if you get back together as she is wanting out! Hope like hell she'll take you back after you've figured out what you actually have to change in your life to make things work. And I hope she comes over and give you some late night lovin' every now and again. Love you dude and if you need to talk, my home number is ***-***-****...don't answer my phone while I'm at work, but the cell is ***-***-****. Anytime dude!
Shawn
-------------------------------------------------------------
Then I got an email from a listener/bartender friend of mine in Erie, Pennsylvania that had this to say:
-------------------------------------------------------------
MIKE!
Are you fucking kidding me? She actually said you were self-destructive? What a piece of work, man! She sounds like the Succubus from South Park! Great new pic, by the way, man. To me, self destructive would be someone who just has completely given up all hope. and you don't strike me as anyone who is anywhere close to doing that! FUCK MAN! If you were anything like what she is trying to make you out to be, you would have quit your Wal*Mart job and went home and thought of depression while listening to goddamn Smiths records and shit! Hey, maybe you should turn into a goth kid and hang out in Perkins or Denny's or IHOP and whine about the pain and depression and sadness! Actually, I think that's what you use MySpace for and it's just fucking entertaining, bro! Sometimes I just want to make popcorn and plog down in front of my computer and read all about you and your continuous unfolding life! OH! Kevin says "hi" by the way. I'll give him your MySpace name so you two can chat! He'd get a kick of all this shit you write about! COME BACK TO ERIE AND DO A RADIO SHOW ABOUT IT, MAN! HELL YEAH! And keep these stories coming, Janitor man!
-Dave
------------------------------------------------------------
And still even more emails about my break-up. This one comes from a female colleague and friend of mine here in Salt Lake who had this to say:
------------------------------------------------------------
Well howdy, Mike!
Hmmmmmmm, self destructive, eh? I disagree. Financially unstable, yes. Self destructive, I seriously doubt it. You couldn't call me to talk about this? I feel so left out.
You were there for me when I broke up with my beau and you were so greatly helpful by taking me out to play miniature golf. Thank you, again, for that.
I honestly think that your former love was just having some trying times of her own and projecting them on you. I also think that you associating with the "MySpace skank" didn't help matters much, either.
Personally, I feel you're both to blame but I also strongly feel her leaving was not right.
Being a female, I've been involved with a couple of men where there were some financial issues.
Ironically, they'd have an issue or two when we started dating and then they'd come out of it and get back on track. As that was happening, I'd get in some kind of financial hole myself with some bad decision I made.
It's just one of those things that comes with any relationship. I can attest to this.
I think you should be glad this girl is out of your life. I get that even though she had some legitimate problems with the relationship you two had, it could have been worked on and become a stronger and better relationship.
This is her loss and you should not give it another thought. Sure, you've made some mistakes and had a few problems here and there but it's clear she was just thinking less and less of you while you were trying to work through it all. She had little faith in you towards the end there and that's just too bad for her. If anyone is self destructive, Mike, it's her.
This will make you an even better person than you already are. So give me a call and I'll take you out to lunch and give you all the gossip in my life.
Ciao,
Anna
----------------------------------------------------------
What's funny about all this is that I haven't thought about this break up since it happened. I only speak of it now because of everyone I know dropping in their viewpoint.
Actually, I did mention to a couple of co-workers what my week was like last week. That, of course, included my break up. However, as I spoke about it, I remember not feeling angry or bitter or confused. Maybe a tad bit dismayed but that's about it.
I miss her but I don't miss our relationship. Does that make any sense? We grew apart and that's all it is, really. We had a lot in common but not enough to sustain a relationship. I'm not mad and I'm not sad.
I'm free.
I'm free to continue to discover where this oddball life of mine takes me.
What's sad is the fact it's a journey that I'm continuing on alone... again.
And with some of the harsh elements of my life that are happening right now, I'm really okay with that.
Perhaps my destiny is to be a nomad... a vagabond. I'm going to walk the Earth like Kane in "Kung-Fu".
Here is the definition of "vagabond" according to www.dictionary.com:
vag-a-bond [vag-uh-bond]
adjective
1. wandering from place to place without any settled home; nomadic: a vagabond tribe.
2. leading an unsettled or carefree life.
3. disreputable; worthless; shiftless.
4. of, pertaining to, or characteristic of a vagabond: vagabond habits.
5. having an uncertain or irregular course or direction: a vagabond voyage.
..noun
6. a person, usually without a permanent home, who wanders from place to place; nomad.
7. an idle wanderer without a permanent home or visible means of support; tramp; vagrant.
8. a carefree, worthless, or irresponsible person; rogue.
-Mike The Janitor
©2006
Millenoma Publishing
The following is an email I got from a longtime friend of mine, Shawn, who had this to say:
---------------------------------------------------------------
Mike,
1. I have met your mother...SHE'S REAL!
2. This "lesson" is what you needed when you and Chris took a shit.
3. I don't think you realize what a positive impact you have on people because of your pity party (that neeevvvveeeeerrrrrr ends).
4. You're a great guy who's intelligence is overshadowed by your stupidity with money!!!!!
5. There are people out there (like me) that want you to be happy but until now, haven't seen or heard anything remotely close to what you have put in this blog. I believe you this time...you're going to be just fine!
6. Do I need to send you my coffee maker and a jug of coffee?
I do hope this "KJ" is as good for you if you get back together as she is wanting out! Hope like hell she'll take you back after you've figured out what you actually have to change in your life to make things work. And I hope she comes over and give you some late night lovin' every now and again. Love you dude and if you need to talk, my home number is ***-***-****...don't answer my phone while I'm at work, but the cell is ***-***-****. Anytime dude!
Shawn
-------------------------------------------------------------
Then I got an email from a listener/bartender friend of mine in Erie, Pennsylvania that had this to say:
-------------------------------------------------------------
MIKE!
Are you fucking kidding me? She actually said you were self-destructive? What a piece of work, man! She sounds like the Succubus from South Park! Great new pic, by the way, man. To me, self destructive would be someone who just has completely given up all hope. and you don't strike me as anyone who is anywhere close to doing that! FUCK MAN! If you were anything like what she is trying to make you out to be, you would have quit your Wal*Mart job and went home and thought of depression while listening to goddamn Smiths records and shit! Hey, maybe you should turn into a goth kid and hang out in Perkins or Denny's or IHOP and whine about the pain and depression and sadness! Actually, I think that's what you use MySpace for and it's just fucking entertaining, bro! Sometimes I just want to make popcorn and plog down in front of my computer and read all about you and your continuous unfolding life! OH! Kevin says "hi" by the way. I'll give him your MySpace name so you two can chat! He'd get a kick of all this shit you write about! COME BACK TO ERIE AND DO A RADIO SHOW ABOUT IT, MAN! HELL YEAH! And keep these stories coming, Janitor man!
-Dave
------------------------------------------------------------
And still even more emails about my break-up. This one comes from a female colleague and friend of mine here in Salt Lake who had this to say:
------------------------------------------------------------
Well howdy, Mike!
Hmmmmmmm, self destructive, eh? I disagree. Financially unstable, yes. Self destructive, I seriously doubt it. You couldn't call me to talk about this? I feel so left out.
You were there for me when I broke up with my beau and you were so greatly helpful by taking me out to play miniature golf. Thank you, again, for that.
I honestly think that your former love was just having some trying times of her own and projecting them on you. I also think that you associating with the "MySpace skank" didn't help matters much, either.
Personally, I feel you're both to blame but I also strongly feel her leaving was not right.
Being a female, I've been involved with a couple of men where there were some financial issues.
Ironically, they'd have an issue or two when we started dating and then they'd come out of it and get back on track. As that was happening, I'd get in some kind of financial hole myself with some bad decision I made.
It's just one of those things that comes with any relationship. I can attest to this.
I think you should be glad this girl is out of your life. I get that even though she had some legitimate problems with the relationship you two had, it could have been worked on and become a stronger and better relationship.
This is her loss and you should not give it another thought. Sure, you've made some mistakes and had a few problems here and there but it's clear she was just thinking less and less of you while you were trying to work through it all. She had little faith in you towards the end there and that's just too bad for her. If anyone is self destructive, Mike, it's her.
This will make you an even better person than you already are. So give me a call and I'll take you out to lunch and give you all the gossip in my life.
Ciao,
Anna
----------------------------------------------------------
What's funny about all this is that I haven't thought about this break up since it happened. I only speak of it now because of everyone I know dropping in their viewpoint.
Actually, I did mention to a couple of co-workers what my week was like last week. That, of course, included my break up. However, as I spoke about it, I remember not feeling angry or bitter or confused. Maybe a tad bit dismayed but that's about it.
I miss her but I don't miss our relationship. Does that make any sense? We grew apart and that's all it is, really. We had a lot in common but not enough to sustain a relationship. I'm not mad and I'm not sad.
I'm free.
I'm free to continue to discover where this oddball life of mine takes me.
What's sad is the fact it's a journey that I'm continuing on alone... again.
And with some of the harsh elements of my life that are happening right now, I'm really okay with that.
Perhaps my destiny is to be a nomad... a vagabond. I'm going to walk the Earth like Kane in "Kung-Fu".
Here is the definition of "vagabond" according to www.dictionary.com:
vag-a-bond [vag-uh-bond]
adjective
1. wandering from place to place without any settled home; nomadic: a vagabond tribe.
2. leading an unsettled or carefree life.
3. disreputable; worthless; shiftless.
4. of, pertaining to, or characteristic of a vagabond: vagabond habits.
5. having an uncertain or irregular course or direction: a vagabond voyage.
..noun
6. a person, usually without a permanent home, who wanders from place to place; nomad.
7. an idle wanderer without a permanent home or visible means of support; tramp; vagrant.
8. a carefree, worthless, or irresponsible person; rogue.
-Mike The Janitor
©2006
Millenoma Publishing
11.14.2006
Instant Message conversation with an old flame
The blog I wrote last Friday entitled "Mike's Lifetime TV Movie-Of-The-Week" seemed to cause quite a stir with some of you that know me.
It also turns out that there are many people who I've known over the years who have recently found me on MySpace and have been reading my blogs for sometime.
Case in point, one of my old flames from Reno, Nevada.
She's asked not to be identified, as you will see at the end of this blog, because she knew full well I would re-post this conversation. Therefore, may I present to you, the return of the old flame.
jy: hi mike
mikethejanitor: HI!
jy: how have you been?
mikethejanitor: I've been really good, thank you. Who is this?
jy: your such a liar, mike. i know you better.
mikethejanitor: Mmmmmkay. If you know me so well, who the hell is this?
jy: (name omitted). ive been reading your blogs lately after i found you on myspace.
mikethejanitor: HOLY SHIT! HOLY CAMEL TOE SHIT! I'll be damned! How great to see you!
jy: well i wasnt expecting such a response. i figured you wouldnt want to talk to me.
mikethejanitor: WHY? Of course I'd want to talk to you. We go way back, sorta.
jy: yea we sure do. i was sorry to hear about your girlfriend.
mikethejanitor: Man, how crazy for you to pop up like this! How long have you been hiding out there in cyber space reading my blogs?
jy: a few months
mikethejanitor: A FEW MONTHS! Jesus! And thanks for the condolences on the girlfriend.
jy: well again i figured you didnt want to speak to me. and one of the reasons i decided to say hello and see how you were was because of what happened with your girlfriend.
mikethejanitor: Oh yeah? Well, it was for the best. I must admit that it had been rocky for a bit. I let her down and she let me down. Shit happens. Gotta move on, you know?
jy: yea i know perfectly well how you are, mike. after four years, i see that youve put someone else through the same shit.
mikethejanitor: Now wait just a goddamn minute! This is why you popped up? To lecture me? Need I remind you that you and I broke up (or whatever the hell we were) when you slapped me HARD across the face in Safeway! We never spoke again after that and now you want to rehash this?
jy: i knew youd act this way. thats why i didnt want to contact you.
mikethejanitor: You've got to be shitting me! I would have totally and completely talked to you and had a civil conversation about our problems had you not reacted the way you did. Besides, the issues between you and I are in NO WAY anything like what my previous girlfriend and I had. You such an asshole to try and put the two on the same level.
jy: i just want to make it clear to you, mike, that you hurt me. you were sleeping with my friend and me and tried to hide it.
mikethejanitor: Right, I did. Because you and I were fuck buddies! We hung out and had good times and fucked! WHAT THE HELL?!
jy: i didn't see it that way at all.
mikethejanitor: (name omitted), did it ever occur to you to talk to me about that? Do you remember a single time where you ever tried to approach me and say you wanted something more serious?
jy: what was the point? you had made it clear more than once that you just wanted to play around and weren't interested in settling down.
mikethejanitor: Maybe, (name omitted). But you can't judge me based on your assumptions because you never tried to have a serious conversation about it. I will not be made to feel guilty because you didn't want to bring it up! This is just some cold ass shit that you're fucking pulling right now!
jy: listen, i loved you at one time, mike. you were a great guy. and you still are. i know this in my heart. i just wanted to say that i don't blame her for leaving you but i think she was wrong.
mikethejanitor: Boy, this is not only confusing but overwhelming.
jy: i dont think youre self destructive. yea you got issues and most of them are financial but who doesnt. i just wanted to remind you that you are a fantastic guy and a great lover.
mikethejanitor: I appreciate your compliments. And I am completely and totally sorry for hurting you in anyway, (name omitted). I had a lot of fun with you and I can say that had you made it a serious topic of conversation back then, I'm quite confident that you and I could have been an official couple as opposed to being friends who were fucking.
jy: well thats all in the past now. im happily married with a baby on the way!
mikethejanitor: CONGRATULATIONS! WOW! A BABY! Who would have thought?!
jy: yea i know. but like you ive done a lot of growing up in some areas. lots of realizations and changes. remember my friend becky? the one you were doing that caused our whole mess.
mikethejanitor: You're really going for the throat here, (name omitted). Of course I remember. How is she doing? Is she married, too, with kids?
jy: no, she passed away in early 2005.
mikethejanitor: WHAT?! ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?
jy: no. she overdosed on heroin. she had been hanging out with this new guy and people and just sank deeper and deeper. then she ran off with him to minnesota and thats where she died.
mikethejanitor: Fuck fuck fuck. I'm going to be sick. How awful. How sadly awful. I'm going to start crying in the Starbucks. WHY THE FUCK DIDN'T YOU TELL ME THIS SOONER?! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?
jy: im sorry. why do you even care so much? she was just some chic you were banging like me, right?
mikethejanitor: (name omitted), I don't deserve such an attack. And you know it. You are clearly still bitter about your issues with me and are pulling out all the guns to unleash on me. If this is "all in the past now", why are you still bringing it up? Just because Becky and I weren't very close doesn't mean I didn't care for her well being. I'm truly saddened by this news. And I'm angry that you've been reading my blogs for months and never made an attempt to contact me until now. Right when everything else in my life is going fucking haywire. You fucking women are the axis of evil.
jy: yea well so are you men. and i know you're going to make a blog of this so you better not use my name.
mikethejanitor: You're goddamn right I'm going to make this into a blog! And I should use your name... your full name! That way every knows, especially men, what kind of super cruel douche you can be!
jy: this is why you'll always be a loser, mike. you just don't get it. you don't realize when youre to blame. its always someone elses fault.
mikethejanitor: You know what, (name omitted), I'm losing my patience with you very quickly. I'm sorry you think or feel the way you do about me. But I am happy that YOU'RE happy now and are married with a baby on the way. That's great news! I truly wish you all the best and harbor no ill will. I hope you stay well and happy. But I really don't want to continue on with this conversation.
jy: mike, just know that you hurt people even when you dont even know youre doing it. that must be a nice benefit in your life. i would just hope that you learn from your exgirlfriend, from me and from others in your life that youve got to change some things and some behavior.
mikethejanitor: Thanks for that newsflash, (name omitted).
jy: thanks for your sarcasm
mikethejanitor: This is giving me such a headache!
jy: youre not self destructive, mike. she was wrong and she walked out on a good thing.
mikethejanitor: MAKE UP MY MIND HERE! First you ahte me than you love me than you hate me again than you love me again! GODDAMN!
jy: i cant deny that i still care about you but like other women in your life you sure do piss me off.
mikethejanitor: Wait a second, are you trying to get some of my glorious cock out of all this? You are, aren't you? You dirty girl!
jy: and with that im leaving. typical sex crazed mike. maybe thats your real problem. you think everything can be fixed with sex.
mikethejanitor: IT CAN!
jy: youre a fucking moron
mikethejanitor: And you're a fucking vicious douche bag with bitterness and resentment that you've been holding onto FOR YEARS and have never tried to make clear to me when it was an issue! And now you've turned into this whack job arguing with me on Yahoo Messenger to try and settle some score that I'm clueless to! So I hope this has purged your psycho mind and you feel better about yourself! FUCK (name omitted)!
JY HAS LOGGED OFF
---------------------------------------------------
WOW! I don't know who the hell has the voodoo doll or voodoo curse on me but please remove it. I wonder what other bizarre incidents will arise before I ring in the New Year in 2007?! Jesus tap dancing Christ!
-Mike The Janitor
©2006
Millenoma Publishing
It also turns out that there are many people who I've known over the years who have recently found me on MySpace and have been reading my blogs for sometime.
Case in point, one of my old flames from Reno, Nevada.
She's asked not to be identified, as you will see at the end of this blog, because she knew full well I would re-post this conversation. Therefore, may I present to you, the return of the old flame.
jy: hi mike
mikethejanitor: HI!
jy: how have you been?
mikethejanitor: I've been really good, thank you. Who is this?
jy: your such a liar, mike. i know you better.
mikethejanitor: Mmmmmkay. If you know me so well, who the hell is this?
jy: (name omitted). ive been reading your blogs lately after i found you on myspace.
mikethejanitor: HOLY SHIT! HOLY CAMEL TOE SHIT! I'll be damned! How great to see you!
jy: well i wasnt expecting such a response. i figured you wouldnt want to talk to me.
mikethejanitor: WHY? Of course I'd want to talk to you. We go way back, sorta.
jy: yea we sure do. i was sorry to hear about your girlfriend.
mikethejanitor: Man, how crazy for you to pop up like this! How long have you been hiding out there in cyber space reading my blogs?
jy: a few months
mikethejanitor: A FEW MONTHS! Jesus! And thanks for the condolences on the girlfriend.
jy: well again i figured you didnt want to speak to me. and one of the reasons i decided to say hello and see how you were was because of what happened with your girlfriend.
mikethejanitor: Oh yeah? Well, it was for the best. I must admit that it had been rocky for a bit. I let her down and she let me down. Shit happens. Gotta move on, you know?
jy: yea i know perfectly well how you are, mike. after four years, i see that youve put someone else through the same shit.
mikethejanitor: Now wait just a goddamn minute! This is why you popped up? To lecture me? Need I remind you that you and I broke up (or whatever the hell we were) when you slapped me HARD across the face in Safeway! We never spoke again after that and now you want to rehash this?
jy: i knew youd act this way. thats why i didnt want to contact you.
mikethejanitor: You've got to be shitting me! I would have totally and completely talked to you and had a civil conversation about our problems had you not reacted the way you did. Besides, the issues between you and I are in NO WAY anything like what my previous girlfriend and I had. You such an asshole to try and put the two on the same level.
jy: i just want to make it clear to you, mike, that you hurt me. you were sleeping with my friend and me and tried to hide it.
mikethejanitor: Right, I did. Because you and I were fuck buddies! We hung out and had good times and fucked! WHAT THE HELL?!
jy: i didn't see it that way at all.
mikethejanitor: (name omitted), did it ever occur to you to talk to me about that? Do you remember a single time where you ever tried to approach me and say you wanted something more serious?
jy: what was the point? you had made it clear more than once that you just wanted to play around and weren't interested in settling down.
mikethejanitor: Maybe, (name omitted). But you can't judge me based on your assumptions because you never tried to have a serious conversation about it. I will not be made to feel guilty because you didn't want to bring it up! This is just some cold ass shit that you're fucking pulling right now!
jy: listen, i loved you at one time, mike. you were a great guy. and you still are. i know this in my heart. i just wanted to say that i don't blame her for leaving you but i think she was wrong.
mikethejanitor: Boy, this is not only confusing but overwhelming.
jy: i dont think youre self destructive. yea you got issues and most of them are financial but who doesnt. i just wanted to remind you that you are a fantastic guy and a great lover.
mikethejanitor: I appreciate your compliments. And I am completely and totally sorry for hurting you in anyway, (name omitted). I had a lot of fun with you and I can say that had you made it a serious topic of conversation back then, I'm quite confident that you and I could have been an official couple as opposed to being friends who were fucking.
jy: well thats all in the past now. im happily married with a baby on the way!
mikethejanitor: CONGRATULATIONS! WOW! A BABY! Who would have thought?!
jy: yea i know. but like you ive done a lot of growing up in some areas. lots of realizations and changes. remember my friend becky? the one you were doing that caused our whole mess.
mikethejanitor: You're really going for the throat here, (name omitted). Of course I remember. How is she doing? Is she married, too, with kids?
jy: no, she passed away in early 2005.
mikethejanitor: WHAT?! ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?
jy: no. she overdosed on heroin. she had been hanging out with this new guy and people and just sank deeper and deeper. then she ran off with him to minnesota and thats where she died.
mikethejanitor: Fuck fuck fuck. I'm going to be sick. How awful. How sadly awful. I'm going to start crying in the Starbucks. WHY THE FUCK DIDN'T YOU TELL ME THIS SOONER?! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?
jy: im sorry. why do you even care so much? she was just some chic you were banging like me, right?
mikethejanitor: (name omitted), I don't deserve such an attack. And you know it. You are clearly still bitter about your issues with me and are pulling out all the guns to unleash on me. If this is "all in the past now", why are you still bringing it up? Just because Becky and I weren't very close doesn't mean I didn't care for her well being. I'm truly saddened by this news. And I'm angry that you've been reading my blogs for months and never made an attempt to contact me until now. Right when everything else in my life is going fucking haywire. You fucking women are the axis of evil.
jy: yea well so are you men. and i know you're going to make a blog of this so you better not use my name.
mikethejanitor: You're goddamn right I'm going to make this into a blog! And I should use your name... your full name! That way every knows, especially men, what kind of super cruel douche you can be!
jy: this is why you'll always be a loser, mike. you just don't get it. you don't realize when youre to blame. its always someone elses fault.
mikethejanitor: You know what, (name omitted), I'm losing my patience with you very quickly. I'm sorry you think or feel the way you do about me. But I am happy that YOU'RE happy now and are married with a baby on the way. That's great news! I truly wish you all the best and harbor no ill will. I hope you stay well and happy. But I really don't want to continue on with this conversation.
jy: mike, just know that you hurt people even when you dont even know youre doing it. that must be a nice benefit in your life. i would just hope that you learn from your exgirlfriend, from me and from others in your life that youve got to change some things and some behavior.
mikethejanitor: Thanks for that newsflash, (name omitted).
jy: thanks for your sarcasm
mikethejanitor: This is giving me such a headache!
jy: youre not self destructive, mike. she was wrong and she walked out on a good thing.
mikethejanitor: MAKE UP MY MIND HERE! First you ahte me than you love me than you hate me again than you love me again! GODDAMN!
jy: i cant deny that i still care about you but like other women in your life you sure do piss me off.
mikethejanitor: Wait a second, are you trying to get some of my glorious cock out of all this? You are, aren't you? You dirty girl!
jy: and with that im leaving. typical sex crazed mike. maybe thats your real problem. you think everything can be fixed with sex.
mikethejanitor: IT CAN!
jy: youre a fucking moron
mikethejanitor: And you're a fucking vicious douche bag with bitterness and resentment that you've been holding onto FOR YEARS and have never tried to make clear to me when it was an issue! And now you've turned into this whack job arguing with me on Yahoo Messenger to try and settle some score that I'm clueless to! So I hope this has purged your psycho mind and you feel better about yourself! FUCK (name omitted)!
JY HAS LOGGED OFF
---------------------------------------------------
WOW! I don't know who the hell has the voodoo doll or voodoo curse on me but please remove it. I wonder what other bizarre incidents will arise before I ring in the New Year in 2007?! Jesus tap dancing Christ!
-Mike The Janitor
©2006
Millenoma Publishing
Overtime!
Since I have nothing better to do with my time as of late (except to sit in Starbucks for hours on end), I signed up for some overtime at the ol' Wal*Mart Distribution Center.
Plus, I need the cash for the holidays! Actually, I need the cash to cover spending that happened during and after the holidays of 1997. Hahahahahahahahahaha... I'm kidding.
I do need the money because of the amount of financial obligations I need to take care of. The overtime will help out in a HUGE way so I'm looking forward to the extra hours.
I also like my early morning drive to work. I don't know why but I giggle every time I get closer to my job site in Grantsville, Utah.
Grantsville is this tiny little town with one main street. No traffic lights to speak of. Hell, there isn't even a stop sign on the main road that leads up to the Wal*Mart Distribution Center.
As you head west on I-80 out of Salt Lake County into Tooele County, you come around what I like to call the "other" point of the mountain.
For those of you that don't live here, you probably won't get that joke but I'll give you a visual idea of what I'm talking about.
Here in Utah (well, in Salt Lake, anyway), we have an area called the "point of the mountain" where I-15 heading southbound comes around a mountain bench or "point" that leads into Utah County where Lehi, American Fork, Orem, Provo and several other suburb towns lye.
This is also how people speak of the Utah State Correctional Center. Or the Utah State Prison. Or, as I and many know it, the "Point Of The Mountain". Just west of I-15 on the opposite side of the mountain bench (or, again, "point") sits the prison.
Anyway, when I drive out to work, I have to go around a similar bench at the base of the Oquirrh Mountain range. The Oquirrh Mountain range is also home to the Kennecott Copper facility.
As you come around this bend (or, again, what I like to call "the other point of the mountain"), you pass a GIANT smokestack that is part of Kennecott Copper's smelter. You can see it for miles when you're within Salt Lake County looking west out towards the Oquirrh Mountains. As well as on the opposite side of the mountain range in Tooele County.
If memory serves, the smokestack is something like 50 or 80 stories high. Maybe. I don't remember but it's quite a large object.
Anyway, as I come around the "other" point of the mountain, I can see the soft glow of lights that are the city of Tooele and the little town of Grantsville.
Now, Tooele is several miles away from Granstville. And you can make out Grantsville very easily in the night because of the lights coming off the Wal*Mart Distribution Center. It sits at the very far west end of Grantsville on a large part of raised land. You can't miss it.
What makes me giggle is the traffic.
If you were to go to Grantsville and just sit on the one main road around 4:30 AM, you'd see a parade of traffic.
I leave my house around 4:15 AM to get to work around 4:50 AM. Right around 4:30, or so, I'm in the line of cars that are making their way to the daily grind at the Wal*Mart Distribution Center.
I can't help but chuckle and wonder how quiet it must have been out there just a couple of years ago before this gigantic invader known as Wal*Mart built this warehouse out in the middle of nowhere on the outskirts of this little town!
Grantsville doesn't even have a Wal*Mart store. It's one of those old towns with some run down gas stations, a grocery store called "Soelberg's" and a lot of large, older brick houses that are Victorian in style.
They just got a "Family Dollar" there. And a little strip mall that has a family medical center and a Chinese food restaurant. They have one fast food joint called "Kraver's" which makes some great food. I liked it a lot!
They have a newer, modern city hall and an old post office that looks like it was built in the 50's.
Honestly, I like this little town. However, if you really need anything like clothes or hardware (even though there is an old hardware store in Grantsville) or anything like that, you'd have to drive into Tooele.
But even people in Tooele drive into Salt Lake most of the time. Tooele is a fairly big city. I found this hard to believe but I guess it's true. Tooele still has a volunteer fire department. They have a police department and a sheriff's department but no fire department? Huh.
I think that volunteer fire department also services Grantsville since Grantsville has no fire department, either. But they do have a police department and an ambulance service called "Mountain West" that is based there.
I wouldn't mind owning an old Victorian style home in Grantsville. That would be awesome. Some peace and quiet and some beautiful majestic views of the mountains and the Great Salt Lake.
Of course, with my credit, I'd be lucky to get a single wide mobile home.
Then there is all that traffic at 4:30 AM to consider.
-Mike The Janitor
©2006
Millenoma Publishing
Plus, I need the cash for the holidays! Actually, I need the cash to cover spending that happened during and after the holidays of 1997. Hahahahahahahahahaha... I'm kidding.
I do need the money because of the amount of financial obligations I need to take care of. The overtime will help out in a HUGE way so I'm looking forward to the extra hours.
I also like my early morning drive to work. I don't know why but I giggle every time I get closer to my job site in Grantsville, Utah.
Grantsville is this tiny little town with one main street. No traffic lights to speak of. Hell, there isn't even a stop sign on the main road that leads up to the Wal*Mart Distribution Center.
As you head west on I-80 out of Salt Lake County into Tooele County, you come around what I like to call the "other" point of the mountain.
For those of you that don't live here, you probably won't get that joke but I'll give you a visual idea of what I'm talking about.
Here in Utah (well, in Salt Lake, anyway), we have an area called the "point of the mountain" where I-15 heading southbound comes around a mountain bench or "point" that leads into Utah County where Lehi, American Fork, Orem, Provo and several other suburb towns lye.
This is also how people speak of the Utah State Correctional Center. Or the Utah State Prison. Or, as I and many know it, the "Point Of The Mountain". Just west of I-15 on the opposite side of the mountain bench (or, again, "point") sits the prison.
Anyway, when I drive out to work, I have to go around a similar bench at the base of the Oquirrh Mountain range. The Oquirrh Mountain range is also home to the Kennecott Copper facility.
As you come around this bend (or, again, what I like to call "the other point of the mountain"), you pass a GIANT smokestack that is part of Kennecott Copper's smelter. You can see it for miles when you're within Salt Lake County looking west out towards the Oquirrh Mountains. As well as on the opposite side of the mountain range in Tooele County.
If memory serves, the smokestack is something like 50 or 80 stories high. Maybe. I don't remember but it's quite a large object.
Anyway, as I come around the "other" point of the mountain, I can see the soft glow of lights that are the city of Tooele and the little town of Grantsville.
Now, Tooele is several miles away from Granstville. And you can make out Grantsville very easily in the night because of the lights coming off the Wal*Mart Distribution Center. It sits at the very far west end of Grantsville on a large part of raised land. You can't miss it.
What makes me giggle is the traffic.
If you were to go to Grantsville and just sit on the one main road around 4:30 AM, you'd see a parade of traffic.
I leave my house around 4:15 AM to get to work around 4:50 AM. Right around 4:30, or so, I'm in the line of cars that are making their way to the daily grind at the Wal*Mart Distribution Center.
I can't help but chuckle and wonder how quiet it must have been out there just a couple of years ago before this gigantic invader known as Wal*Mart built this warehouse out in the middle of nowhere on the outskirts of this little town!
Grantsville doesn't even have a Wal*Mart store. It's one of those old towns with some run down gas stations, a grocery store called "Soelberg's" and a lot of large, older brick houses that are Victorian in style.
They just got a "Family Dollar" there. And a little strip mall that has a family medical center and a Chinese food restaurant. They have one fast food joint called "Kraver's" which makes some great food. I liked it a lot!
They have a newer, modern city hall and an old post office that looks like it was built in the 50's.
Honestly, I like this little town. However, if you really need anything like clothes or hardware (even though there is an old hardware store in Grantsville) or anything like that, you'd have to drive into Tooele.
But even people in Tooele drive into Salt Lake most of the time. Tooele is a fairly big city. I found this hard to believe but I guess it's true. Tooele still has a volunteer fire department. They have a police department and a sheriff's department but no fire department? Huh.
I think that volunteer fire department also services Grantsville since Grantsville has no fire department, either. But they do have a police department and an ambulance service called "Mountain West" that is based there.
I wouldn't mind owning an old Victorian style home in Grantsville. That would be awesome. Some peace and quiet and some beautiful majestic views of the mountains and the Great Salt Lake.
Of course, with my credit, I'd be lucky to get a single wide mobile home.
Then there is all that traffic at 4:30 AM to consider.
-Mike The Janitor
©2006
Millenoma Publishing
Public masturbation
In a blog I wrote several weeks ago entitled "1.2 million square feet", I brought to your attention the fact I couldn't use the internet at home anymore. The reason being, the free wireless signal had been completely firewalled in my area and I couldn't access it anymore.
So now I have to come to Starbucks, A LOT, to use the internet. I spend way too much time here. But what else am I going to do? Go out and do something with my girlfriend? BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Well, I guess I could go out girl shopping. However, why do that when there are MANY choice women who walk into my local Starbucks all the time!
Anyway, in that blog, I also jokingly said that now that I come to Starbucks, it makes it harder to masturbate to porn because it's in a public place.
With that, my friend Ashley in Tucson, Arizona took that as a cue to bring to my attention an actual incident that happened to her while she was out and about. Check out this awesome story:
Hi Mike,
Sunday morning/early afternoon, I witnessed the oddest thing. Three of my friends and I were having breakfast at the lovely Good Egg on Grant when we noticed this middle-aged woman sitting alone across the restaurant acting rather odd. We noticed that she was touching herself under the table as she stared at her Tucson Taco Salad. She had the creepiest smile on her face. We brought it to the manager's attention and said, get this, that's the SECOND time that lady has been caught doing that in there! So I mean, at least you'd be masturbating to porn in public, and not a salad. Although, that might bring on a whole new derogatory meaning for the old product The Salad Shooter. :-)
Salads are sexy. Cheerio...
CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT?! Man, the nutty things that happen in this world! Of course, it's easier for women to get away with such behavior than it is for men. I couldn't very well whip out my wang chung and letting everybody have fun tonight watching me.
Man, that was such a stretch for a joke I need to be slapped. I just mixed masturbation with a popular 80's band to make for lame comedy.
Speaking of lame comedy, I can't stand Dane Cook. I'm so sick of that douche. But that is neither here nor there.
Ashley needs a camera phone that records video, too. That way she can make little movies of some of the fucked up shit going on around her.
Ashley is awesome. She really is. I have the biggest crush on her. Alas, she is seeing someone. Shitty for me. Well, that and the fact she is in Tucson doesn't help. Shitty for me twice.
So, I just thought I'd post ANOTHER blog in reference to her great story. I had been meaning to re-post this for a while but have been drowning in a river of drama and financial obligations.
Thank God a ship of fools came along and picked me up.
-Mike The Janitor
©2006
Millenoma Publishing
So now I have to come to Starbucks, A LOT, to use the internet. I spend way too much time here. But what else am I going to do? Go out and do something with my girlfriend? BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Well, I guess I could go out girl shopping. However, why do that when there are MANY choice women who walk into my local Starbucks all the time!
Anyway, in that blog, I also jokingly said that now that I come to Starbucks, it makes it harder to masturbate to porn because it's in a public place.
With that, my friend Ashley in Tucson, Arizona took that as a cue to bring to my attention an actual incident that happened to her while she was out and about. Check out this awesome story:
Hi Mike,
Sunday morning/early afternoon, I witnessed the oddest thing. Three of my friends and I were having breakfast at the lovely Good Egg on Grant when we noticed this middle-aged woman sitting alone across the restaurant acting rather odd. We noticed that she was touching herself under the table as she stared at her Tucson Taco Salad. She had the creepiest smile on her face. We brought it to the manager's attention and said, get this, that's the SECOND time that lady has been caught doing that in there! So I mean, at least you'd be masturbating to porn in public, and not a salad. Although, that might bring on a whole new derogatory meaning for the old product The Salad Shooter. :-)
Salads are sexy. Cheerio...
CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT?! Man, the nutty things that happen in this world! Of course, it's easier for women to get away with such behavior than it is for men. I couldn't very well whip out my wang chung and letting everybody have fun tonight watching me.
Man, that was such a stretch for a joke I need to be slapped. I just mixed masturbation with a popular 80's band to make for lame comedy.
Speaking of lame comedy, I can't stand Dane Cook. I'm so sick of that douche. But that is neither here nor there.
Ashley needs a camera phone that records video, too. That way she can make little movies of some of the fucked up shit going on around her.
Ashley is awesome. She really is. I have the biggest crush on her. Alas, she is seeing someone. Shitty for me. Well, that and the fact she is in Tucson doesn't help. Shitty for me twice.
So, I just thought I'd post ANOTHER blog in reference to her great story. I had been meaning to re-post this for a while but have been drowning in a river of drama and financial obligations.
Thank God a ship of fools came along and picked me up.
-Mike The Janitor
©2006
Millenoma Publishing
11.13.2006
Mike's Top 20, Top 10 & Top 5
As I sit in my local watering hole, Starbucks, I'm feeling great! Sure, I'm broke and the girlfriend dumped me and whine whine whine cry cry cry bitch bitch bitch BUT SO WHAT?! Fuck it all because I'll get by because I rule! Shit yeah, bitches!
Here is another week of fantastic tunes, CD's and DVD's I was enjoying from last week.
Mike's Top 20 Songs:
20: The Bloodhound Gang "Yummy Down On This"
19: XTC "Washaway"
18: Rage Against The Machine "Take The Power Back"
17: Britney Spears "Toxic"
16: Pet Shop Boys "What Have I Done To Deserve This?"
15: XTC "Stupidly Happy"
14: Paleface "World Full Of Cops"
13: BT with Tori Amos "Blue Skies"
12: Scooter "Fire"
11: Paul Oakenfold "Starry Eyed Surprise"
10: Megadeth "Kill The King"
09: Depeche Mode "Fly On The Windscreen"
08: Mary-Chapin Carpenter "Passionate Kisses"
07: Dr. Dre "Nuthin' But A "G" Thang"
06: Boyz II Men "Thank You"
05: Seal "Crazy"
04: Cyndi Lauper "Time After Time"
03: Led Zeppelin "The Song Remains The Same"
02: Jimi Hendrix "Fire"
01: Peter Murphy "Time Has Nothing To Do With It"
Mike's Top 10 CD's:
10: XTC "Apple Venus - Volume One"
09: XTC "Apple Venus - Volume Two"
08: Cyndi Lauper "She's So Unusual"
07: Rage Against The Machine "Rage Against The Machine"
06: Peter Murphy "Love Hysteria"
05: Depeche Mode "Catching Up With Depeche Mode"
04: Lenny Kravitz "Let Love Rule"
03: Music From The Motion Picture Sountrack Of "Clerks"
02: Seal "Seal"
01: Various Artists "Millenium Funk Party"
Mike's Top 5 DVD's:
05: Blade
04: Amadeus
03: The God's Must Be Crazy
02: The Shining
01: The Pentagon Wars
-Mike The Janitor
©2006
Millenoma Publishing
Here is another week of fantastic tunes, CD's and DVD's I was enjoying from last week.
Mike's Top 20 Songs:
20: The Bloodhound Gang "Yummy Down On This"
19: XTC "Washaway"
18: Rage Against The Machine "Take The Power Back"
17: Britney Spears "Toxic"
16: Pet Shop Boys "What Have I Done To Deserve This?"
15: XTC "Stupidly Happy"
14: Paleface "World Full Of Cops"
13: BT with Tori Amos "Blue Skies"
12: Scooter "Fire"
11: Paul Oakenfold "Starry Eyed Surprise"
10: Megadeth "Kill The King"
09: Depeche Mode "Fly On The Windscreen"
08: Mary-Chapin Carpenter "Passionate Kisses"
07: Dr. Dre "Nuthin' But A "G" Thang"
06: Boyz II Men "Thank You"
05: Seal "Crazy"
04: Cyndi Lauper "Time After Time"
03: Led Zeppelin "The Song Remains The Same"
02: Jimi Hendrix "Fire"
01: Peter Murphy "Time Has Nothing To Do With It"
Mike's Top 10 CD's:
10: XTC "Apple Venus - Volume One"
09: XTC "Apple Venus - Volume Two"
08: Cyndi Lauper "She's So Unusual"
07: Rage Against The Machine "Rage Against The Machine"
06: Peter Murphy "Love Hysteria"
05: Depeche Mode "Catching Up With Depeche Mode"
04: Lenny Kravitz "Let Love Rule"
03: Music From The Motion Picture Sountrack Of "Clerks"
02: Seal "Seal"
01: Various Artists "Millenium Funk Party"
Mike's Top 5 DVD's:
05: Blade
04: Amadeus
03: The God's Must Be Crazy
02: The Shining
01: The Pentagon Wars
-Mike The Janitor
©2006
Millenoma Publishing
Butt gravy
If you're eating while reading this you may want to stop.
I'd like to address the issue of butt gravy or, as some call it, swamp ass.
Lately, while working myself into a coma at the lovely Wal*Mart Distribution Center, I get some butt gravy that is just God awful!
I don't mean to be gross but seriously. Plus, as things start to not be so hectic and the butt gravy dries out, you start to chafe.
Being a larger fellow, this can hurt after a hard day of working. Plus, it puts quite the stink on the lower region of my hot bod that makes me want to shower for an hour.
Now, these sweaty details don't just invade the butt but the twig and berries, too. I've been noticing at work that I have to, on a regular basis, hide in the trailer I'm emptying to either:
A:) pull my boxers out of my ass because my ass seems to enjoy eating my shorts or
B:) spread my legs a bit to jiggle my nuts free from my thighs.
YUCK.
But it's soooooo true. I can't help it. It's completely bothersome and I'm sure any guy reading this can agree. Now, one of my female co-workers mentioned how difficult it can be when you're a girl suffering from similar circumstances but with, obviously, female parts.
And when you constantly sweat in the downstairs region, it creates quite a smell that is much like gym socks that have gone used and unwashed for years or a can of tuna that has been left baking in the hot sun.
Graphic? Yes, it is. I think I just threw up a little in my mouth.
But I couldn't help but giggle as I was trying to not only remove the serious melvin from my ass earlier today. As well as try to free the boys from my thighs at the same time. It was pretty comical.
Does this gross story constitute a blog? No. But it's just another irritant that adds to my already hard days at work. No, I'm not whining. Wait, yes I am. But I have a pretty tough weekend at the ol' factory doing my part to feed the Wal*Mart monster.
The more I work there, the more I begin to wonder how the fuck some of the people there still have jobs. I've been noticing a trend in a lack of work ethic.
Nothing pisses me off more than me busting my ass (and working up some butt gravy) than to see certain individuals on my crew just wandering about and talking and making every effort NOT to work.
Jesus, that was not only a run-on sentence but a total run-on paragraph. Look at that shit.
I'd go back to school but I'm busy making sure Wal*Mart stores are fully stocked up with goddamn red, green and gold votive Christmas candles.
Oh, let's not forget those really awful Virgin Mary candles, too.
I could tell you all kinds of shit I've been unloading off of these trucks that is a real thorn in my side but I won't. So what, right? Right.
I have no clue as to where I'm going with this blog other than to point out the awfulness of the butt gravy and soggy nuts.
Clearly, I'm reaching for material at the moment.
I also think that the Irish Spring soap I've been using, is drying out my skin. I love Irish Spring but I might have to find a soap that isn't so harsh on my skin...
... and nuts.
Of course, with the changing weather, my skin always takes a turn for the worse. For instance, right now, the skin on my fingers is completely dry and cracking open from the constant moving of those cardboard boxes.
Plus, it grinds dirt deep into your hands that is hard to scrub out.
I can't wait to be in these trailers during the summer when it's 100 degrees outside! Man oh man! I don't even want to think about it.
But the positive side of all this is the fact I'll be sweating the weight away.
I'll also have to say that this job has me drinking a lot more water than I ever have. As a matter a fact, I crave water much more now than I used to when I'm not even at work.
Today, I unloaded a trailer with 2,811 pieces of freight on it. Thank GOD I had some help with it or they would have found me hanging from the inside the trailer from my sweaty boxers.
I'll tell you more stories from the Wal*Mart Distribution Center front later. Right now, I gotta get to typing out my weekly "Mike's Top 20, Mike's Top 10 & Mike's Top 5".
-Mike The Janitor
©2006
Millenoma Publishing
I'd like to address the issue of butt gravy or, as some call it, swamp ass.
Lately, while working myself into a coma at the lovely Wal*Mart Distribution Center, I get some butt gravy that is just God awful!
I don't mean to be gross but seriously. Plus, as things start to not be so hectic and the butt gravy dries out, you start to chafe.
Being a larger fellow, this can hurt after a hard day of working. Plus, it puts quite the stink on the lower region of my hot bod that makes me want to shower for an hour.
Now, these sweaty details don't just invade the butt but the twig and berries, too. I've been noticing at work that I have to, on a regular basis, hide in the trailer I'm emptying to either:
A:) pull my boxers out of my ass because my ass seems to enjoy eating my shorts or
B:) spread my legs a bit to jiggle my nuts free from my thighs.
YUCK.
But it's soooooo true. I can't help it. It's completely bothersome and I'm sure any guy reading this can agree. Now, one of my female co-workers mentioned how difficult it can be when you're a girl suffering from similar circumstances but with, obviously, female parts.
And when you constantly sweat in the downstairs region, it creates quite a smell that is much like gym socks that have gone used and unwashed for years or a can of tuna that has been left baking in the hot sun.
Graphic? Yes, it is. I think I just threw up a little in my mouth.
But I couldn't help but giggle as I was trying to not only remove the serious melvin from my ass earlier today. As well as try to free the boys from my thighs at the same time. It was pretty comical.
Does this gross story constitute a blog? No. But it's just another irritant that adds to my already hard days at work. No, I'm not whining. Wait, yes I am. But I have a pretty tough weekend at the ol' factory doing my part to feed the Wal*Mart monster.
The more I work there, the more I begin to wonder how the fuck some of the people there still have jobs. I've been noticing a trend in a lack of work ethic.
Nothing pisses me off more than me busting my ass (and working up some butt gravy) than to see certain individuals on my crew just wandering about and talking and making every effort NOT to work.
Jesus, that was not only a run-on sentence but a total run-on paragraph. Look at that shit.
I'd go back to school but I'm busy making sure Wal*Mart stores are fully stocked up with goddamn red, green and gold votive Christmas candles.
Oh, let's not forget those really awful Virgin Mary candles, too.
I could tell you all kinds of shit I've been unloading off of these trucks that is a real thorn in my side but I won't. So what, right? Right.
I have no clue as to where I'm going with this blog other than to point out the awfulness of the butt gravy and soggy nuts.
Clearly, I'm reaching for material at the moment.
I also think that the Irish Spring soap I've been using, is drying out my skin. I love Irish Spring but I might have to find a soap that isn't so harsh on my skin...
... and nuts.
Of course, with the changing weather, my skin always takes a turn for the worse. For instance, right now, the skin on my fingers is completely dry and cracking open from the constant moving of those cardboard boxes.
Plus, it grinds dirt deep into your hands that is hard to scrub out.
I can't wait to be in these trailers during the summer when it's 100 degrees outside! Man oh man! I don't even want to think about it.
But the positive side of all this is the fact I'll be sweating the weight away.
I'll also have to say that this job has me drinking a lot more water than I ever have. As a matter a fact, I crave water much more now than I used to when I'm not even at work.
Today, I unloaded a trailer with 2,811 pieces of freight on it. Thank GOD I had some help with it or they would have found me hanging from the inside the trailer from my sweaty boxers.
I'll tell you more stories from the Wal*Mart Distribution Center front later. Right now, I gotta get to typing out my weekly "Mike's Top 20, Mike's Top 10 & Mike's Top 5".
-Mike The Janitor
©2006
Millenoma Publishing
11.10.2006
Mike's "Lifetime TV Movie-Of-The-Week"
Before I get into what is sure to be yet another WHAMMY of a blog, entertain yourselves with this short email I received from a random stranger:
"Hey Mike! Goddamn, man. I mean... GODDAMN! You don't know me nor am I on your friend list here on MySpace but BOY OH BOY do I enjoy reading your soap opera blogs! Jesus Christ! You have such a way of conveying not only your emotions but what I think a lot of people, like myself, have felt at one time or another. Your insight, depression, sense of humor and take on life are sometimes uplifting to others even when you're being down on yourself. If they have some kind of Blog Pulitzer, I'm so nominating you, man. -Robert"
Geee, Thanks Robert. And I must say that my life would make a great movie-of-the-week on Lifetime. It would totally be complete if I had cancer in my testicles and had to have them removed. That would make for a fantastic script that could win Lifetime an Emmy for best picture in the TV Movie category... if there is such a thing.
And the drama unfolds, my cyber friends. The never ending saga of me continues in "The Life Of Mike: Episode II - The Phantom Starbucks Barista Girlfriend"
She's become a phantom.
She broke up with me yesterday and we finalized that earlier today when she came by my place to pick up some items she had loaned to me.
Last night, my Starbucks barista girlfriend made it clear to me that it was time for us to part ways. Due, in large part, to my self-destructive behavior. She feels it's a pattern that might continue to be a problem.
She has a point. But I don't think it constitutes breaking up.
However, she does.
Granted, from my podcasts on WildVoice.com to my blogs here on MySpace, it's probably clear to everyone that she has a right to be frustrated by my behavior. Many of you have probably thought the same thing.
I have no animosity towards her about her decision to leave. But I do disagree strongly with it.
Before I came into Starbucks to express what has happened, I had a lengthy conversation with her about what's happened and why on the phone. Our separation has now gone from a "bitter and angry" break-up to an "amicable" one.
The best way to put this in perspective for you, the fine blog reader, is to say our situation is much like the one between John Cusack as his girlfriend in the great movie "High Fidelity".
As a matter a fact, that is a GREAT analogy of the state of things between us.
The only difference is that I'm not seeking out ex-girlfriends to try and figure out why I'm a fuck up. I already know. Plus, I'm no John Cusack.
Basically, my now ex-girlfriend became frustrated with my constant financial problems that have been overwhelming me. Most of these problems stem from my unemployment through the month of September and everything has now caught up to me.
This, mixed with a variety of other issues (for instance, my association with the "MySpace skank" as she put it), has caused a terrible strain on our relationship. My stress has been projecting on her and her own stresses.
I admit fully that I am to blame for all this. I took a turn for the worse and our relationship suffered because of it.
Originally, I was really angry with her because I felt like she was kicking me while I was down. How could two people love and care so much for one another and one of those people up and leave while making sure to rub it in my face that I'm self-destructive.
Thanks honey.
But I feel much better than she and I have had a civil conversation and talked through our differences. She made some legitimate observations and I totally understand where she is coming from.
I also stated my case and stressed that breaking up was premature. But what's done is done and I'm alright with that. You reap what you sew whether it's now or later.
For me, it always comes later.
I don't know that I'm being self-destructive more than I am just fucking stupid.
When oh when will I ever learn? I'll tell you when, right goddamn now.
It's one thing for me to feel pity and sorrow for myself. It's quite another story when your significant other steps up and says they don't want to put up with you anymore.
Ouch.
Wow.
Talk about and epiphany.
My friend Adam sent me an email that simply says: "Stop beating yourself up so much, bro."
Well put, Adam.
But beating myself up is my way of trying to wake myself up out of this "dumb fuck coma" I've been coasting along in lately.
Actually, my now ex-girlfriend woke me up... with a hammer to the face, sorta.
I deserved it. I totally did. I made the bed and now she's put me to sleep in it.
Thanks again, honey.
Now, I know it sounds like I'm being a smart ass here but I'm truly not. I'm grateful that this has happened. In certain aspects, we were both unhappy in this relationship. I just had more faith in it getting better than she did.
But how can I blame someone for wanting to leave if they felt it wasn't going to get better? It was going to get better. It WILL get better. I WILL get better. I know this. I've conquered problems like this before in my past and will continue to do so throughout my life.
What I feel really bad about is how my image and character has come off skewed in her eyes. This is a hard and hurtful lesson that I don't want to be the person she's worried about me becoming.
She and I have a lot to learn from this break-up. Maybe we'll get back together in the future and try again. But right now I'm just as glad as she is that it's over. I'm not saying this to be mean but to say that I'm not sure either of us were really ready to become involved.
Time fixes all.
I love her very much and care for her a great deal. This was for the best.
Wow, I'm way more upset and sad about this than I was earlier.
I guess that's because it's finally sinking in what I've caused and the damage I've done.
You stupid fuck, Mike. You stupid, stupid fuck.
I was looking forward to spending Thanksgiving with her, too. She was going to be the first girl in many, many years to meet my mom.
In a funny side note here, it's a running joke with a few that are close to me that my mom isn't real. That she is a figment of my imagination like Anthony Perkins in "Psycho". That was how my friend Nick Danger used to think of her as. Even though he was one of few people who actually talked to my mom on several occasions.
I assure you, my mom is real. And sometimes a real pain in my ass. But that's how families are. And I know I've been just as big a shit growing up. Hell, I still am! LOOK AT ME! HI MOM!
In a way, this break-up has done me some good. It hurts and it saddens me but I know that it'll all get better and work out in the long run.
When one door closes, another one opens.
Of course, knowing my luck, the next door to open for me will probably be the one that leads to bankruptcy court.
I already miss my Starbucks barista girlfriend.
Being in Starbucks isn't helping. I wonder if every time I smell freshly roasted coffee, I'll start thinking of her and start crying? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Shit...
... I just realized something...
... no more free coffee...
... uh-oh...
... now I've REALLY fucked shit up...
... I better call her and try to make it all better...
... I'm so kidding...
... I love you and I understand, KJ.
-Mike The Janitor
©2006
Millenoma Publishing
"Hey Mike! Goddamn, man. I mean... GODDAMN! You don't know me nor am I on your friend list here on MySpace but BOY OH BOY do I enjoy reading your soap opera blogs! Jesus Christ! You have such a way of conveying not only your emotions but what I think a lot of people, like myself, have felt at one time or another. Your insight, depression, sense of humor and take on life are sometimes uplifting to others even when you're being down on yourself. If they have some kind of Blog Pulitzer, I'm so nominating you, man. -Robert"
Geee, Thanks Robert. And I must say that my life would make a great movie-of-the-week on Lifetime. It would totally be complete if I had cancer in my testicles and had to have them removed. That would make for a fantastic script that could win Lifetime an Emmy for best picture in the TV Movie category... if there is such a thing.
And the drama unfolds, my cyber friends. The never ending saga of me continues in "The Life Of Mike: Episode II - The Phantom Starbucks Barista Girlfriend"
She's become a phantom.
She broke up with me yesterday and we finalized that earlier today when she came by my place to pick up some items she had loaned to me.
Last night, my Starbucks barista girlfriend made it clear to me that it was time for us to part ways. Due, in large part, to my self-destructive behavior. She feels it's a pattern that might continue to be a problem.
She has a point. But I don't think it constitutes breaking up.
However, she does.
Granted, from my podcasts on WildVoice.com to my blogs here on MySpace, it's probably clear to everyone that she has a right to be frustrated by my behavior. Many of you have probably thought the same thing.
I have no animosity towards her about her decision to leave. But I do disagree strongly with it.
Before I came into Starbucks to express what has happened, I had a lengthy conversation with her about what's happened and why on the phone. Our separation has now gone from a "bitter and angry" break-up to an "amicable" one.
The best way to put this in perspective for you, the fine blog reader, is to say our situation is much like the one between John Cusack as his girlfriend in the great movie "High Fidelity".
As a matter a fact, that is a GREAT analogy of the state of things between us.
The only difference is that I'm not seeking out ex-girlfriends to try and figure out why I'm a fuck up. I already know. Plus, I'm no John Cusack.
Basically, my now ex-girlfriend became frustrated with my constant financial problems that have been overwhelming me. Most of these problems stem from my unemployment through the month of September and everything has now caught up to me.
This, mixed with a variety of other issues (for instance, my association with the "MySpace skank" as she put it), has caused a terrible strain on our relationship. My stress has been projecting on her and her own stresses.
I admit fully that I am to blame for all this. I took a turn for the worse and our relationship suffered because of it.
Originally, I was really angry with her because I felt like she was kicking me while I was down. How could two people love and care so much for one another and one of those people up and leave while making sure to rub it in my face that I'm self-destructive.
Thanks honey.
But I feel much better than she and I have had a civil conversation and talked through our differences. She made some legitimate observations and I totally understand where she is coming from.
I also stated my case and stressed that breaking up was premature. But what's done is done and I'm alright with that. You reap what you sew whether it's now or later.
For me, it always comes later.
I don't know that I'm being self-destructive more than I am just fucking stupid.
When oh when will I ever learn? I'll tell you when, right goddamn now.
It's one thing for me to feel pity and sorrow for myself. It's quite another story when your significant other steps up and says they don't want to put up with you anymore.
Ouch.
Wow.
Talk about and epiphany.
My friend Adam sent me an email that simply says: "Stop beating yourself up so much, bro."
Well put, Adam.
But beating myself up is my way of trying to wake myself up out of this "dumb fuck coma" I've been coasting along in lately.
Actually, my now ex-girlfriend woke me up... with a hammer to the face, sorta.
I deserved it. I totally did. I made the bed and now she's put me to sleep in it.
Thanks again, honey.
Now, I know it sounds like I'm being a smart ass here but I'm truly not. I'm grateful that this has happened. In certain aspects, we were both unhappy in this relationship. I just had more faith in it getting better than she did.
But how can I blame someone for wanting to leave if they felt it wasn't going to get better? It was going to get better. It WILL get better. I WILL get better. I know this. I've conquered problems like this before in my past and will continue to do so throughout my life.
What I feel really bad about is how my image and character has come off skewed in her eyes. This is a hard and hurtful lesson that I don't want to be the person she's worried about me becoming.
She and I have a lot to learn from this break-up. Maybe we'll get back together in the future and try again. But right now I'm just as glad as she is that it's over. I'm not saying this to be mean but to say that I'm not sure either of us were really ready to become involved.
Time fixes all.
I love her very much and care for her a great deal. This was for the best.
Wow, I'm way more upset and sad about this than I was earlier.
I guess that's because it's finally sinking in what I've caused and the damage I've done.
You stupid fuck, Mike. You stupid, stupid fuck.
I was looking forward to spending Thanksgiving with her, too. She was going to be the first girl in many, many years to meet my mom.
In a funny side note here, it's a running joke with a few that are close to me that my mom isn't real. That she is a figment of my imagination like Anthony Perkins in "Psycho". That was how my friend Nick Danger used to think of her as. Even though he was one of few people who actually talked to my mom on several occasions.
I assure you, my mom is real. And sometimes a real pain in my ass. But that's how families are. And I know I've been just as big a shit growing up. Hell, I still am! LOOK AT ME! HI MOM!
In a way, this break-up has done me some good. It hurts and it saddens me but I know that it'll all get better and work out in the long run.
When one door closes, another one opens.
Of course, knowing my luck, the next door to open for me will probably be the one that leads to bankruptcy court.
I already miss my Starbucks barista girlfriend.
Being in Starbucks isn't helping. I wonder if every time I smell freshly roasted coffee, I'll start thinking of her and start crying? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Shit...
... I just realized something...
... no more free coffee...
... uh-oh...
... now I've REALLY fucked shit up...
... I better call her and try to make it all better...
... I'm so kidding...
... I love you and I understand, KJ.
-Mike The Janitor
©2006
Millenoma Publishing
11.08.2006
"What the fuck am I doing here?"
I caught myself thinking this several times this past weekend while I was at work.
I'm exhausted. Both mentally and physically.
Who would have thought that working in a Wal*Mart Distribution Center would be so...
... difficult.
I'll confirm any and all previous reports that working in a Wal*Mart Distribution Center is hard. It sure as shit is.
I'm cool with that. Really. My body, however, does not seem to agree with my commitment to my new career path. And who can blame my fat ass? I'm constantly lifting heavy shit all day. 12 hours a day. Saturday, Sunday and Monday.
I need the remaining four days off to recover.
Pussy.
I'll get used to it.
But back to the subject line.
As I was breaking my back trying to provide goods to the Wal*Mart shoppers of the Western region, I couldn't help but feel a loss of myself amongst all those goddamn boxes of shit from China.
How did I wind up here? Why do I continually fuck up my life to the point where I wind up doing something I really don't want to do just to get by? This is no way to live.
My friend and colleague, Jave Patterson, used to say that change is the only constant.
However, my recent changes have been completely involuntary. Perhaps that is the true point to that statement.
What I'm getting at here is I feel bad for myself on a regular basis because I'm wasting away in the back of a truck being a bitch ass slave driver for Wal*Mart.
This is not to say that all the others that do this for a living are wasting away. This is their career choice. This is a long-term venture. For me, I can already tell this is so temporary.
Of course, maybe in five years I'll still be at Wal*Mart saying the same shit never to get back to where I need to be which is radio.
I've said before in many previous blogs that I don't miss radio.
I've changed my mind.
I do. A LOT!
Not just the job but my talent and ability in doing it. It's always been my calling... my destiny to do radio. And no amount of railroad jobs or Wal*Mart jobs or any job outside of radio is going to change that.
It's this realization that hurts me the most. This is what I think about while unloading a 53' trailer of 1800 boxes of consumer goods.
I believe that everyone serves some purpose doing some type of job for a career. That's obvious. For me, my life is radio. Everything else I do in between is just some transitional phase. A paradigm shift of sorts.
I'm not trying to say that I'm better than those that I work with. Because I'm not. I found that a co-worker of mine is also going this this type of feeling. He was a professional dancer for 13 years before coming to work for Wal*Mart three years ago.
I wonder how many other broken dreams like his and mine are scattered about the Wal*Mart Distribution Center.
I just realized the secret of life...
... regret.
-Mike The Janitor
©2006
Millenoma Publishing
I'm exhausted. Both mentally and physically.
Who would have thought that working in a Wal*Mart Distribution Center would be so...
... difficult.
I'll confirm any and all previous reports that working in a Wal*Mart Distribution Center is hard. It sure as shit is.
I'm cool with that. Really. My body, however, does not seem to agree with my commitment to my new career path. And who can blame my fat ass? I'm constantly lifting heavy shit all day. 12 hours a day. Saturday, Sunday and Monday.
I need the remaining four days off to recover.
Pussy.
I'll get used to it.
But back to the subject line.
As I was breaking my back trying to provide goods to the Wal*Mart shoppers of the Western region, I couldn't help but feel a loss of myself amongst all those goddamn boxes of shit from China.
How did I wind up here? Why do I continually fuck up my life to the point where I wind up doing something I really don't want to do just to get by? This is no way to live.
My friend and colleague, Jave Patterson, used to say that change is the only constant.
However, my recent changes have been completely involuntary. Perhaps that is the true point to that statement.
What I'm getting at here is I feel bad for myself on a regular basis because I'm wasting away in the back of a truck being a bitch ass slave driver for Wal*Mart.
This is not to say that all the others that do this for a living are wasting away. This is their career choice. This is a long-term venture. For me, I can already tell this is so temporary.
Of course, maybe in five years I'll still be at Wal*Mart saying the same shit never to get back to where I need to be which is radio.
I've said before in many previous blogs that I don't miss radio.
I've changed my mind.
I do. A LOT!
Not just the job but my talent and ability in doing it. It's always been my calling... my destiny to do radio. And no amount of railroad jobs or Wal*Mart jobs or any job outside of radio is going to change that.
It's this realization that hurts me the most. This is what I think about while unloading a 53' trailer of 1800 boxes of consumer goods.
I believe that everyone serves some purpose doing some type of job for a career. That's obvious. For me, my life is radio. Everything else I do in between is just some transitional phase. A paradigm shift of sorts.
I'm not trying to say that I'm better than those that I work with. Because I'm not. I found that a co-worker of mine is also going this this type of feeling. He was a professional dancer for 13 years before coming to work for Wal*Mart three years ago.
I wonder how many other broken dreams like his and mine are scattered about the Wal*Mart Distribution Center.
I just realized the secret of life...
... regret.
-Mike The Janitor
©2006
Millenoma Publishing
11.06.2006
The return of "Mike's Top 20, Top 10 & Top 5"
WOOHOO! I know that I've missed about three or four weeks of doing my weekly "Mike's Top 20, Mike's Top 10 & Top 5" list. Sorry about that... for those of you that care.
Actually, as of late, I've been much too wrapped up in my own personal drama/bubble to really give a damn about writing blogs on MySpace or recording podcasts on WildVoice.com. Shame on me.
But with my new job and recent financial demons, I haven't been feeling much like doing anything. And this is the best time to do it because it makes for great stories!
Anyway, more on what's up with me in later blogs. For now, enjoy the return of my music and DVD selections. Kisses!
Mike's Top 20 Songs:
20: New Radicals "You Get What You Give"
19: Hall & Oates "Sara Smile"
18: Living Colour "I Want You To Know"
17: Nick Drake "From The Morning"
16: M/A/R/R/S "Pump Up The Volume"
15: Technotronic "Pump Up The Jam"
14: Mr. Freddie "Let's Go Riding"
13: Gravity Kills "Blame (L.A. Remix)"
12: Sugar Ray "10 Seconds Down"
11: Megadeth "Symphony Of Destruction"
10: The Hollies "Long Cool Woman In A Black Dress"
09: The Saddle Tramps "Mama Was A Flagger"
08: The Allman Brothers Band "Melissa"
07: Pet Shop Boys "Being Boring"
06: The Guess Who "No Time"
05: Yes "Love Will Find A Way"
04: Sting "Fill 'Er Up"
03: Talking Heads "Making Flippy Floppy"
02: Aerosmith "Sweet Emotion"
01: Prince "I Would Die 4 U/Baby, I'm A Star!"
Mike's Top 10 CD's:
10: Sting "Brand New Day"
09: Various Artists "Mullets Rock!"
08: Music From The Motion Picture "Ghost World"
07: Nick Drake "Pink Moon"
06: Living Colour "Vivid"
05: Earth, Wind & Fire "Greatest Hits"
04: Men Without Hats "Pop Goes The World"
03: Music From The Motion Picture "Run Lola Run"
02: Various Artists "Millenium Hip Hop Party"
01: Hall & Oates "Greatest Hits"
Mike's Top 5 DVD's (and one theatrical release)
05: Star Wars: A New Hope
04: Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back
03: Star Wars: Return Of The Jedi
02: Shaun Of The Dead
01A: Team America: World Police
01B: The Departed
-Mike The Janitor
©2006
Millenoma Publishing
Actually, as of late, I've been much too wrapped up in my own personal drama/bubble to really give a damn about writing blogs on MySpace or recording podcasts on WildVoice.com. Shame on me.
But with my new job and recent financial demons, I haven't been feeling much like doing anything. And this is the best time to do it because it makes for great stories!
Anyway, more on what's up with me in later blogs. For now, enjoy the return of my music and DVD selections. Kisses!
Mike's Top 20 Songs:
20: New Radicals "You Get What You Give"
19: Hall & Oates "Sara Smile"
18: Living Colour "I Want You To Know"
17: Nick Drake "From The Morning"
16: M/A/R/R/S "Pump Up The Volume"
15: Technotronic "Pump Up The Jam"
14: Mr. Freddie "Let's Go Riding"
13: Gravity Kills "Blame (L.A. Remix)"
12: Sugar Ray "10 Seconds Down"
11: Megadeth "Symphony Of Destruction"
10: The Hollies "Long Cool Woman In A Black Dress"
09: The Saddle Tramps "Mama Was A Flagger"
08: The Allman Brothers Band "Melissa"
07: Pet Shop Boys "Being Boring"
06: The Guess Who "No Time"
05: Yes "Love Will Find A Way"
04: Sting "Fill 'Er Up"
03: Talking Heads "Making Flippy Floppy"
02: Aerosmith "Sweet Emotion"
01: Prince "I Would Die 4 U/Baby, I'm A Star!"
Mike's Top 10 CD's:
10: Sting "Brand New Day"
09: Various Artists "Mullets Rock!"
08: Music From The Motion Picture "Ghost World"
07: Nick Drake "Pink Moon"
06: Living Colour "Vivid"
05: Earth, Wind & Fire "Greatest Hits"
04: Men Without Hats "Pop Goes The World"
03: Music From The Motion Picture "Run Lola Run"
02: Various Artists "Millenium Hip Hop Party"
01: Hall & Oates "Greatest Hits"
Mike's Top 5 DVD's (and one theatrical release)
05: Star Wars: A New Hope
04: Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back
03: Star Wars: Return Of The Jedi
02: Shaun Of The Dead
01A: Team America: World Police
01B: The Departed
-Mike The Janitor
©2006
Millenoma Publishing
11.02.2006
Attack of the ex-girlfriend
As I've been sitting here in Starbucks, I've been doing some people watching while loading CD's I brought from home into my iTunes. Plus, I'm getting ready for my "Mike's Cyber Yard Sale"!
Get this, a few moments ago, a former co-worker and friend of mine came in. His name is David. We had a good talk and he told me the craziest story about his recent ex-girlfriend, Bethany.
Now, I've met Bethany. Cute girl but a real drama queen that craves attention. She's also a whopping 19 years old. I can laugh at this story I'm about to share with you because I can relate to David's plight since my ex-girlfriend is also 19 years old.
David tells me that his ex-girlfriend called the police on him a couple of Friday's ago really early in the morning.
David got woke up at 6:45 by the police calling to ask questions as to why he was sending "vulgar" text messages and dirty pictures of his junk to his ex-girlfriend. Apparently, Bethany called the police on him with no warning or discussion what so ever.
Hold on... I'm laughing... ok, *cough* ok... I'm good now. On with the story.
David was not laughing telling me this fucked up mess of a story and has been quite upset by it since it happened.
According to David, Bethany and he have been seeing each other every now and again since they broke up. Basically to be fuck buddies and hang out.
From what David has learned, Bethany has re-discovered the Mormon church. Although she never made it clear to David of what her intentions were or even trust him to understand, she became increasingly distant from him.
He thought she was just playing her usual head games and playing hard to get. So he would do what he's always done with her which was to send her dirty messages via text messages and an occasional dirty voicemail. He even repeatedly sent her a picture of his johnson as a way to tease her and be playful.
None of this is really funny considering what has happened but I can't help but laugh at all of this because it's just SO STUPID!
Bethany never really made it clear to David that she wasn't interested in that anymore and just called the police on him. He did show me a couple of text messages she had sent asking him not to send such messages anymore but he thought she was just being her usual self.
From what David was explaining to me, she has a case history of behaving oddly. She never called him personally to explain herself and make it clear to him that she truly didn't want to do that anymore or be that way anymore.
I could tell from David's version of this crazy story, he really meant no harm and is very hurt and angry by what this bitch has done.
The officer that called him threatened him with an investigation and possible misdemeanor or even felony charges for sending the text messages and pictures.
The irony here is that David has MANY pictures of Bethany that she has sent to him during the time they were dating and not dating. I even asked to see the pics but he said "HELL NO!" quite loudly!
David is a good guy that never gets in trouble with the law. He's a former Mormon himself. And now this chic has caused this problem for him that he feels like the cops are going to show up at his door and arrest him for something he had no idea was causing a problem. He was just acting the way he always acts with her.
I can only imagine how betrayed he must feel. It sounds to me like this stupid girl just didn't want to be an adult and explain this new path in life she wanted to try. She just assumed that he would be able to read her mind and all would be different. What an awful way to treat someone. Especially a friend!
I told David not to worry. It sounds like the stupid girl and the cop were just giving him a scare to make it clear to leave her alone.
That advice didn't make him feel any better. I don't blame him for being upset and angry and hateful. If my ex-girlfriend pulled a stunt like that, I'd feel the same way.
What really made this tale stick out was the fact that he made it clear that he still cares for her and would never do anything to hurt her or make her feel threatened. He also explained to me that he hopes the best for her and that her rediscovering the Mormon religion gives her what she's searching for. He's just completely flabbergasted (his word, not mine) by what has happened.
Personally, I told him he can blame that fucking brain washing church for this bullshit he's going through. Clearly someone with that church put her up to making such a rash and bad decision that has now caused some serious mental duress on my friend.
What the fuck was this girl thinking? Did she honestly think David was trying to harm her in some way? Where the fuck is her head at? Does she have any idea the trouble she's caused? How could she do something so awful as to call the police and lie to them just because she couldn't be civil and call David? He thought they were still friends. This is how she treats a friend? Fuck.
Another thing David told me was that if the police do their investigation on this stupid ass complaint this douche bag made, he'll lose his job. Due to the nature of the business David is in and the background checks he had to go through, any type of misdemeanor or felony charge results in automatic termination.
Man oh man... what the hell, huh?
I'm sure Bethany will get hers someday in the form of karma. If anything, she should feel ashamed of her behavior that has caused this awful and obvious pain for David. I'm all pissed off for him!
Excuse me for saying this, ladies, but this girl is the epitome of a cunt.
Unbelievable.
-Mike The Janitor
©2006
Millenoma Publishing
Get this, a few moments ago, a former co-worker and friend of mine came in. His name is David. We had a good talk and he told me the craziest story about his recent ex-girlfriend, Bethany.
Now, I've met Bethany. Cute girl but a real drama queen that craves attention. She's also a whopping 19 years old. I can laugh at this story I'm about to share with you because I can relate to David's plight since my ex-girlfriend is also 19 years old.
David tells me that his ex-girlfriend called the police on him a couple of Friday's ago really early in the morning.
David got woke up at 6:45 by the police calling to ask questions as to why he was sending "vulgar" text messages and dirty pictures of his junk to his ex-girlfriend. Apparently, Bethany called the police on him with no warning or discussion what so ever.
Hold on... I'm laughing... ok, *cough* ok... I'm good now. On with the story.
David was not laughing telling me this fucked up mess of a story and has been quite upset by it since it happened.
According to David, Bethany and he have been seeing each other every now and again since they broke up. Basically to be fuck buddies and hang out.
From what David has learned, Bethany has re-discovered the Mormon church. Although she never made it clear to David of what her intentions were or even trust him to understand, she became increasingly distant from him.
He thought she was just playing her usual head games and playing hard to get. So he would do what he's always done with her which was to send her dirty messages via text messages and an occasional dirty voicemail. He even repeatedly sent her a picture of his johnson as a way to tease her and be playful.
None of this is really funny considering what has happened but I can't help but laugh at all of this because it's just SO STUPID!
Bethany never really made it clear to David that she wasn't interested in that anymore and just called the police on him. He did show me a couple of text messages she had sent asking him not to send such messages anymore but he thought she was just being her usual self.
From what David was explaining to me, she has a case history of behaving oddly. She never called him personally to explain herself and make it clear to him that she truly didn't want to do that anymore or be that way anymore.
I could tell from David's version of this crazy story, he really meant no harm and is very hurt and angry by what this bitch has done.
The officer that called him threatened him with an investigation and possible misdemeanor or even felony charges for sending the text messages and pictures.
The irony here is that David has MANY pictures of Bethany that she has sent to him during the time they were dating and not dating. I even asked to see the pics but he said "HELL NO!" quite loudly!
David is a good guy that never gets in trouble with the law. He's a former Mormon himself. And now this chic has caused this problem for him that he feels like the cops are going to show up at his door and arrest him for something he had no idea was causing a problem. He was just acting the way he always acts with her.
I can only imagine how betrayed he must feel. It sounds to me like this stupid girl just didn't want to be an adult and explain this new path in life she wanted to try. She just assumed that he would be able to read her mind and all would be different. What an awful way to treat someone. Especially a friend!
I told David not to worry. It sounds like the stupid girl and the cop were just giving him a scare to make it clear to leave her alone.
That advice didn't make him feel any better. I don't blame him for being upset and angry and hateful. If my ex-girlfriend pulled a stunt like that, I'd feel the same way.
What really made this tale stick out was the fact that he made it clear that he still cares for her and would never do anything to hurt her or make her feel threatened. He also explained to me that he hopes the best for her and that her rediscovering the Mormon religion gives her what she's searching for. He's just completely flabbergasted (his word, not mine) by what has happened.
Personally, I told him he can blame that fucking brain washing church for this bullshit he's going through. Clearly someone with that church put her up to making such a rash and bad decision that has now caused some serious mental duress on my friend.
What the fuck was this girl thinking? Did she honestly think David was trying to harm her in some way? Where the fuck is her head at? Does she have any idea the trouble she's caused? How could she do something so awful as to call the police and lie to them just because she couldn't be civil and call David? He thought they were still friends. This is how she treats a friend? Fuck.
Another thing David told me was that if the police do their investigation on this stupid ass complaint this douche bag made, he'll lose his job. Due to the nature of the business David is in and the background checks he had to go through, any type of misdemeanor or felony charge results in automatic termination.
Man oh man... what the hell, huh?
I'm sure Bethany will get hers someday in the form of karma. If anything, she should feel ashamed of her behavior that has caused this awful and obvious pain for David. I'm all pissed off for him!
Excuse me for saying this, ladies, but this girl is the epitome of a cunt.
Unbelievable.
-Mike The Janitor
©2006
Millenoma Publishing
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