I love Earth, Wind & Fire.
I also love the band Chicago. Call me a fag. I like to refer to them as one of the original "boy bands". Bunch of guys hanging out and singing cheesy ballads while jamming out with synthesizers, horns, funky bass lines and Peter Cetera.
Both Earth, Wind & Fire and Chicago are similar with their horn sections. Earth, Wind & Fire has got the rhythm and soul while Chicago can sometimes bring the funk and blues. Both are essential listening material.
I saw Earth, Wind & Fire in concert in Reno, Nevada back in 1998. They fucking smoked! It was an awesome performance, I must say. At one point in the concert, they turned off all the lights and the drummer did a solo that went for a good twenty minutes under black lights that illuminated his headband and drumsticks. Awesome!
I've been listening a lot to CD's I haven't visited in quite some time. The Chicago and Earth, Wind & Fire I've been enjoying because they remind me of when I was a kid. The music coming out of the late 70's is a big deal for me since I was born in '73.
Of course, as I got older and listened to music more and more, some of my fondest memories come from the music being made by Gary Numan, Falco, Missing Persons, Styx, ZZ Top, Sting, The Police, Paul Simon, Prince, Men At Work, Huey Lewis & The News, Michael Jackson, Dire Straits, Peter Gabriel, Madonna, Cyndi Lauper, Genesis, Wang Chung and a bunch of others.
By my late teens and early twenties, we had the music of the early 90's. These are CD's that I'm also rocking out to lately. Deee-Lite, C+C Music Factory, Technotronic, Vanilla Ice, MC Hammer, Young MC, Tone-Loc, Milli Vanilli, Snopp Dogg, Boyz II Men, Kris Kross, PM Dawn, Arrested Development, Run DMC and many more.
The great thing about the 90's music was the movement in rap and hip hop. I won't forget the first time I heard N.W.A. or Public Enemy. Holy shit! Good times.
Then there was "YO! MTV Raps!"
Of course, MTV back in those days was actually MUSIC television and not the pile of festering horseshit it is now.
Thank God for VH1. What sucks for me is the fact I don't have cable to see VH1.
The last great video I saw was on MTV2. It's by an artist known as Kenna. The song is called "Hell Bent". It's fantastic. I liked it so much, I found it on Kazaa and burned it to CD. I suggest you look it up on the internet and check it out.
I'm just killing time babbling about such things while I'm continuing to load my iTunes up with my CD collection. I need some quick money and I figure I don't need a good majority of my CD's anymore now that I have an iPod and a computer.
But I'm going to hold onto my Chicago discs. And my Earth, Wind & Fire, I think.
Oh, and my Milli Vanilli. That's a timeless piece of audio right there.
Yeah, I dig Milli Vanilli.
Girl, you know it's true...
... ew ew ew...
You know what? I never got into the hair bands of the late 80's/early 90's. I did enjoy Guns N Roses, though. I couldn't and still can't stand Def Leppard. I like some of the earlier work of Bon Jovi but not the new shit.
I also liked Van Halen and some of Van Hagar as well as David Lee Roth's early days in his solo career. "Eat 'Em And Smile" is a great album. He also made some great videos for MTV.
Poison was good, too. I'd sometimes watch "Headbanger's Ball" on MTV. Another thing I remember from my youth when watching MTV was "Remote Control" and "Club MTV".
OK, I better quit while I'm ahead. I could go on for hours with all kinds of things relating to my music experience over the years... *YAWN*. I'll save it for a series of podcasts on WildVoice.com.
-Mike The Janitor
©2006
Millenoma Publishing
10.19.2006
The hell that has been my Wal*Mart orientation
Christ, where to begin with this three ring circus.
Let's start with what I was told when I was hired. I received a call from a woman in Human Resources at the Wal*Mart Distribution Center informing me I had received a job there. (I'm not going to use names to protect the innocent and retarded)
While on the phone, the woman informed me that orientation is on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday beginning at 8 AM. I would need to bring a black ball point pen and a notepad. Pizza would even be provided on Monday to feed and welcome us new hires.
So, I woke up at 5:30 AM on Monday morning and proceeded to get ready for my new job. Getting up early is no sweat for me since I did mornings at my previous job when I was employed in the rail yard.
I shit, shaved and showered. I got dressed. I made sure to have a notepad and a black ball point pen. As a matter a fact, I brought EXTRA black ball point pens just in case my fellow new hires forgot. Someone always does.
By 6:30 AM, I was on the road. I stopped for some gas. Then I went to Starbucks for not one, but two cups of coffee. Actually, I went all out and got TWO white chocolate mochas. Mmmmmmmm, that is nectar of the Gods goodness there.
By 6:45 AM, I was on my way to Grantsville, Utah. Grantsville is west of Salt Lake about 30 minutes or so away. It's a nice drive. Plus, the west side of the Oquirrh (that's pronounced "OAKER") mountain range is quite a site in the early morning hours. Not to mention the view of the Great Salt Lake.
It is also the mountain range that is home to the world's largest open pit mine known as the Kennecott Copper Mine or the Bingham Copper Mine. Visit this link for more info: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oquirrh_Mountains
I arrived at the Wal*Mart Distribution Center just before 7:30 AM ready to start my journey. I had a huge smile on my face thanks to the white chocolate mocha I finished in the car and the one I was presently chugging down.
As I went inside, I had to identify myself to security. The woman at the security desk said I was very early because orientation didn't start until 8:30 AM.
Figures.
So she invited me to go sit in the break room and watch Fox news and enjoy some breakfast items from the Wal*Mart Distribution Center cafeteria.
They have two break rooms side by side divided by a glass partition. I came to find out later that in other "DC's" (that's how they're known... a little Wal*Mart speak for you), one is the smoking break room and the other is for non-smoking.
For whatever reason, this DC does not permit that. Now, many of you are saying that's because of the smoking laws we have in place here in Utah.
Not true.
When I helped open the Wal*Mart West Valley - South store in 2004, they had this same type of a design. It was a large break room that was split about 80/20. The front 80% was for non-smokers and the back 20% was for smokers.
And it WAS used all the time by the smokers. I know because I had picked back up smoking because of this handy smokers room. I remembering asking several times how it was legal for us to be smoking in a business like this when Utah law, from what I know, says that is illegal.
Anyway, I sat in the break room with the TV playing Fox news and watched hard hitting news stories from hard hitting Fox news talking heads.
I then started to notice other new hires showing up. You can always tell the new people because they have that "Where am I going? What am I doing?" look about them. I'm sure I had it, too.
By 8:30 AM, the Wal*Mart people had come to round us up and take us to a large conference type room to begin our orientation.
We all scattered about and took our places and sat down. Immediately, the first thing out of our trainers mouth was: "Who remembered to bring a notepad and black pen?"
A couple of people did. But a good 7 to 8 people didn't. That was about half the class. Ironically, our trainer only had three pens available to give out. Thanks to me and my thinking earlier in the morning, I had brought enough pens to cover everyone else.
I rule.
She then passed out a folder full of paperwork. Lots of paperwork. So much paperwork that it included a checklist that we would mark off as soon as we covered that subject and it's corresponding paperwork.
Our first trainer was upbeat and friendly. Very pleasant and good natured.
We also met another guy, a supervisor from the shipping department, who sat in the back of the class. He was brought in to translate in Spanish for a new hire that could not speak English.
Our trainer took care of our basic requirements like the W4 and I-9 forms as well as getting our identification photocopied and getting our pictures taken for our DC identification badge.
After her, we got a frazzled guy who covered the aspects of the history of Wal*Mart and insight into our specific job locations by taking us on a tour. He also showed us a couple of videos. One was the A&E Biography on Sam Walton (the founder of Wal*Mart). Another was an "educational" video on telling us why Wal*Mart is not part of a Union and never, NEVER will be.
(Personally, I agree with this. Most people I've encountered that work for Unions are lazy OR work hard and are getting screwed by over-the-top Union dues)
He then showed us another video in relation to the history of Wal*Mart and how it's now in 1200 locations internationally. It's actually quite amazing as it is impressive.
Then he played a game with us to help us recall all the stuff we saw in both the A&E Biography and the Wal*Mart produced history video.
We then broke for lunch and, as promised, they provided us with pizza.
After lunch, we covered more aspects of how to treat one another in the workplace and sexual harassment and the "Open Door" policy. We were shown a couple more videos.
As a matter a fact, remember the supervisor I mentioned earlier was was brought in to translate? During one of these videos, he actually sat in the back of the room talking on the phone which was really distracting. More distracting then his translating.
As our trainer brought the day to a close, just before 4 PM (again, we all thought we'd be there until 5:30 PM), he showed us one last video called "Remembering Charlie". It was basically a story told by a man named Charlie who once worked for Exxon Oil.
It was a pretty intense story of how Charlie was burned over 50% of his body because he hadn't followed safety procedures. He also caused a massive explosion at his Exxon refinery and had to have substantial reconstruction surgery because of the burns to his face, arms and upper torso.
The video was just a way to remind us to follow procedures and be safe. Never take short cuts and NEVER think that it won't happen to you.
Yes, I get it. I worked in a rail yard where you constantly had to be safe and aware. One of the reasons I left the rail yard was because there was clearly drug abuse going on by some employed there and there is no room for that kind of behavior in a rail yard. Or anywhere, for that matter.
Which, let me interrupt my storytelling here to share something else with you. Shortly after I walked off the job in the rail yard, I was informed by investigating members of upper management of my former employer, that I was going to probably hear from the Union Pacific Police Department because of an incident that happened.
From what I was told, one of the vehicles that belonged to my former employer, had been seriously vandalized. And, of course, my former boss (who I strongly suspected of drug abuse) had tried to put the blame on me.
Now, I was not only questioned about this by members of upper management overseeing a formal complaint I had filed against my former boss, but the Union Pacific Police did call.
What's funny about all this, is the fact that the U.P. police officer didn't ask me any questions. He just said he was making a routine call to remind me that I was no longer allowed on the property.
I then realized that the person responsible for vandalizing the work truck was, more than likely, my former boss. The reason I know this in my gut is because this is the kind of stunt he would pull because he's a spoiled brat.
I also recalled that he had told me several times that he wanted to buy new Jeeps to use as yard trucks as opposed to the trucks he presently had.
So, of course, I presented him with an opportunity to get rid of one. Why not destroy one of your own vehicles and blame it on an obvious disgruntled worker? That way you can claim it on the company insurance and get yourself a pretty, new Jeep!
Of course, I don't need to say this, but I will. I never vandalized that vehicle and I've never set foot on that property again after I left.
Well, I do know that my blogs really got under his skin. I also have digital photos of my blogs printed out and posted on bulletin boards in the rail yard facility that a employee was nice enough to take and email to me.
The guy is lucky I didn't sue him and his father's company. I came SOOOOOOO close. I even paid $320 to have the papers drawn up to serve my former employer. But then I realized that he'll get his in the form of karma. No doubt about it. And why should I turn into some kind of sue happy prick, anyway? Let it go, move on.
OK, so I'm still a little bitter about all of this. I LOVED my job in the rail yard. And for it to come down to me feeling like I was forced to quit because I knew that my boss was an irrational, lazy, possible dope smoker with no management capabilities or business sense really, REALLY pisses me off to this day.
I'm looking forward to the day I run into him again. I really am.
Anyway, where the hell was I was with this Wal*Mart story? OH YEAH, let's pick up with day 2. Before we left on day 1, I distinctly recall our trainer saying to be back the next morning at 8 AM. The reason being is the fact they had double booked orientations and would need the conference room around 2 PM for another class.
On day two, we all showed up at 8 AM and clocked in. We went into the conference room and waited. At 8:30 AM, our trainer (who is the "Asset Protection" supervisor {formerly known as "Loss Prevention"}) showed up and asked how long we had been there.
Several of us informed him that we were told to be there at 8 AM. He immediately got pissy with us and said orientation begins at 8:30 AM and he made it clear he didn't appreciate the fact we had been sitting around "twiddling our thumbs".
From there, the guy was pretty much a hard ass as we went through safety aspects of our jobs as well as loss prevention... errr... asset protection. We watched a few videos on safety and proper handling and inspection of power equipment.
Of course, we also followed along with the vast amounts of paperwork in our folders and made sure to check things off on the accompanying checklist.
Then we wrapped up at around 2 PM and were sent home. Another day of not working until 5:30 PM as we had all been instructed would happen when we were hired.
On the third day, we all made sure to be there at 8:30 AM as to not upset the Wal*Mart Gestapo. We had two more trainers. The first covered basic aspects and benefits of Wal*Mart like our Wal*Mart Discount Card for 10% off in Wal*Mart stores. She also taught us the Wal*Mart cheer, which I already knew from my prior time with Wal*Mart.
She also made it clear that one of her biggest pet peeves were people who pull a no call/no show. She wanted us all to know that if we couldn't hack it at the Distribution Center, to at least call and inform someone in management. She followed that statement by saying, (I'm not making this up):
"I guarantee that at least one of you in this class will pull a no call/no show!"
I realize that no call/no shows are frustrating to employers and employees. But I do not agree with a trainer being so pissy about it and letting personal feelings cloud her judgement. This just brings down the morale of new hires who would like to feel wanted and appreciated as opposed to a possible risk.
This also stuck me that CLEARLY this Distribution Center has been suffering from a serious turnover problem that they just can't seem to shake. Well, when you've got trainers like this, it's no wonder.
Our last and final trainer was, by far, the most bitchy. Right off the bat, she came off completely uninterested to be there and somewhat frustrated by our questions. It was her responsibility to educate us on all the medical and dental benefits offered by Wal*Mart.
One of my first questions was "When do our benefits start?". She informed us in 90 days of employment.
However, as she started a video, the video contradicted what she had told us. In the video covering our benefits, it said they start on the 181st day of employment. Then one of the other new hires opened up his employment benefits handbook that we had received and showed me that it said the same thing.
To which I said "Didn't she tell us 90 days? What the hell?"
Right about then, the lights came on and Gestapo Lady stormed to the front of the room, turned off the video player and told us to stand up because we were going to do the Wal*Mart cheer.
She then yells to the back of the class to the translating supervisor: "Hey, {supervisor's name here}, why are we doing the Wal*Mart cheer?"
Translating supervisor: "Because no one is paying attention!"
With that, we were off doing the Wal*mart cheer. What makes this funny is that our trainer was so pissed, that she didn't completely spell "Wal*Mart" in our Wal*Mart cheer. She did, however, spell "Wal*Mar".
After that, she told us to be quiet and pay attention. At this point, I was pissed. This is no way to treat new hires. Especially when it comes to questions regarding health benefits. So as she stormed off to the back of the room so we could continue to watch the video, I spoke up and said:
"Listen, I think all of us are just a little confused about when our benefits actually start."
To which she said, quite rudely: "Well, that's what I'm here for so watch the video."
We watched the video and the mood of the room was sucked dry by her attitude and and obvious dislike in having to train anymore people.
We then spent a good two hours covering the health benefits (which DO start in 90 days for Distribution Associates), dental benefits, 401K and profit sharing. Out of all the training and paperwork, this was the longest of all of them and the most detailed.
With that, we were pretty much done with orientation. But we were informed that some of us would have to come back the following day (today) to finish up one last element of training. That would be our "CBL" modules. That stands for "Computer Based Learning".
So, here I'm thinking I've got two days off before I start my actual shift on Saturday morning at 5:00 AM.
Nope, I had to go in this morning at 8:30 AM, again, and finish my "training" by doing two hours of computer based learning. And these computer modules were just a recap of everything I had learned during the past three days. I was out of there buy 10:30 AM.
As I look back on these three days, I can understand the position of this DC's management being stressed out and under the gun from corporate. Without enough employees, your production falls behind and everyone starts getting irritated because of the additional workload.
I know that this DC is on a HUGE hiring craze. At the time of my hire, they had 731 employees. I'm not sure how many they need to make the DC run smoother but it's obviously A LOT more than 731.
I'd like to move into a position with this DC where I oversee training the new hires. New hires need to be put at ease and made to feel welcome while realizing that they are going to be working hard and will be held accountable for mistakes.
Right now, they seem to be just going through the motions with uncaring tactics that does nothing for morale and makes you feel like you don't matter because you'll probably just wind up leaving anyway and wasting everyone's time.
This is unacceptable and needs to change. I have a completely different idea of Wal*Mart right now then when I worked for Wal*Mart the last time. However, I am looking at it from both sides of the fence and understand where the behavior comes from.
I'm still looking forward to officially starting my job on Saturday morning and seeing just what it entails. I just hope I don't encounter the same attitudes as I did in this orientation. That isn't pleasant for anyone involved.
I'm not trying to be negative here. I'm just voicing some frustrations and concerns I witnessed and I'm not even working yet.
Yikes.
Well, my ass is falling asleep in this chair I'm sitting on here in Starbucks. I can't feel my legs. By the way, the free internet is still not working at home. I have a suspicion that it's probably gone for good.
Well, that sucks.
At least I have my Starbucks. *sips coffee* Shit... my coffee is cold.
-Mike The Janitor
©2006
Millenoma Publishing
Let's start with what I was told when I was hired. I received a call from a woman in Human Resources at the Wal*Mart Distribution Center informing me I had received a job there. (I'm not going to use names to protect the innocent and retarded)
While on the phone, the woman informed me that orientation is on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday beginning at 8 AM. I would need to bring a black ball point pen and a notepad. Pizza would even be provided on Monday to feed and welcome us new hires.
So, I woke up at 5:30 AM on Monday morning and proceeded to get ready for my new job. Getting up early is no sweat for me since I did mornings at my previous job when I was employed in the rail yard.
I shit, shaved and showered. I got dressed. I made sure to have a notepad and a black ball point pen. As a matter a fact, I brought EXTRA black ball point pens just in case my fellow new hires forgot. Someone always does.
By 6:30 AM, I was on the road. I stopped for some gas. Then I went to Starbucks for not one, but two cups of coffee. Actually, I went all out and got TWO white chocolate mochas. Mmmmmmmm, that is nectar of the Gods goodness there.
By 6:45 AM, I was on my way to Grantsville, Utah. Grantsville is west of Salt Lake about 30 minutes or so away. It's a nice drive. Plus, the west side of the Oquirrh (that's pronounced "OAKER") mountain range is quite a site in the early morning hours. Not to mention the view of the Great Salt Lake.
It is also the mountain range that is home to the world's largest open pit mine known as the Kennecott Copper Mine or the Bingham Copper Mine. Visit this link for more info: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oquirrh_Mountains
I arrived at the Wal*Mart Distribution Center just before 7:30 AM ready to start my journey. I had a huge smile on my face thanks to the white chocolate mocha I finished in the car and the one I was presently chugging down.
As I went inside, I had to identify myself to security. The woman at the security desk said I was very early because orientation didn't start until 8:30 AM.
Figures.
So she invited me to go sit in the break room and watch Fox news and enjoy some breakfast items from the Wal*Mart Distribution Center cafeteria.
They have two break rooms side by side divided by a glass partition. I came to find out later that in other "DC's" (that's how they're known... a little Wal*Mart speak for you), one is the smoking break room and the other is for non-smoking.
For whatever reason, this DC does not permit that. Now, many of you are saying that's because of the smoking laws we have in place here in Utah.
Not true.
When I helped open the Wal*Mart West Valley - South store in 2004, they had this same type of a design. It was a large break room that was split about 80/20. The front 80% was for non-smokers and the back 20% was for smokers.
And it WAS used all the time by the smokers. I know because I had picked back up smoking because of this handy smokers room. I remembering asking several times how it was legal for us to be smoking in a business like this when Utah law, from what I know, says that is illegal.
Anyway, I sat in the break room with the TV playing Fox news and watched hard hitting news stories from hard hitting Fox news talking heads.
I then started to notice other new hires showing up. You can always tell the new people because they have that "Where am I going? What am I doing?" look about them. I'm sure I had it, too.
By 8:30 AM, the Wal*Mart people had come to round us up and take us to a large conference type room to begin our orientation.
We all scattered about and took our places and sat down. Immediately, the first thing out of our trainers mouth was: "Who remembered to bring a notepad and black pen?"
A couple of people did. But a good 7 to 8 people didn't. That was about half the class. Ironically, our trainer only had three pens available to give out. Thanks to me and my thinking earlier in the morning, I had brought enough pens to cover everyone else.
I rule.
She then passed out a folder full of paperwork. Lots of paperwork. So much paperwork that it included a checklist that we would mark off as soon as we covered that subject and it's corresponding paperwork.
Our first trainer was upbeat and friendly. Very pleasant and good natured.
We also met another guy, a supervisor from the shipping department, who sat in the back of the class. He was brought in to translate in Spanish for a new hire that could not speak English.
Our trainer took care of our basic requirements like the W4 and I-9 forms as well as getting our identification photocopied and getting our pictures taken for our DC identification badge.
After her, we got a frazzled guy who covered the aspects of the history of Wal*Mart and insight into our specific job locations by taking us on a tour. He also showed us a couple of videos. One was the A&E Biography on Sam Walton (the founder of Wal*Mart). Another was an "educational" video on telling us why Wal*Mart is not part of a Union and never, NEVER will be.
(Personally, I agree with this. Most people I've encountered that work for Unions are lazy OR work hard and are getting screwed by over-the-top Union dues)
He then showed us another video in relation to the history of Wal*Mart and how it's now in 1200 locations internationally. It's actually quite amazing as it is impressive.
Then he played a game with us to help us recall all the stuff we saw in both the A&E Biography and the Wal*Mart produced history video.
We then broke for lunch and, as promised, they provided us with pizza.
After lunch, we covered more aspects of how to treat one another in the workplace and sexual harassment and the "Open Door" policy. We were shown a couple more videos.
As a matter a fact, remember the supervisor I mentioned earlier was was brought in to translate? During one of these videos, he actually sat in the back of the room talking on the phone which was really distracting. More distracting then his translating.
As our trainer brought the day to a close, just before 4 PM (again, we all thought we'd be there until 5:30 PM), he showed us one last video called "Remembering Charlie". It was basically a story told by a man named Charlie who once worked for Exxon Oil.
It was a pretty intense story of how Charlie was burned over 50% of his body because he hadn't followed safety procedures. He also caused a massive explosion at his Exxon refinery and had to have substantial reconstruction surgery because of the burns to his face, arms and upper torso.
The video was just a way to remind us to follow procedures and be safe. Never take short cuts and NEVER think that it won't happen to you.
Yes, I get it. I worked in a rail yard where you constantly had to be safe and aware. One of the reasons I left the rail yard was because there was clearly drug abuse going on by some employed there and there is no room for that kind of behavior in a rail yard. Or anywhere, for that matter.
Which, let me interrupt my storytelling here to share something else with you. Shortly after I walked off the job in the rail yard, I was informed by investigating members of upper management of my former employer, that I was going to probably hear from the Union Pacific Police Department because of an incident that happened.
From what I was told, one of the vehicles that belonged to my former employer, had been seriously vandalized. And, of course, my former boss (who I strongly suspected of drug abuse) had tried to put the blame on me.
Now, I was not only questioned about this by members of upper management overseeing a formal complaint I had filed against my former boss, but the Union Pacific Police did call.
What's funny about all this, is the fact that the U.P. police officer didn't ask me any questions. He just said he was making a routine call to remind me that I was no longer allowed on the property.
I then realized that the person responsible for vandalizing the work truck was, more than likely, my former boss. The reason I know this in my gut is because this is the kind of stunt he would pull because he's a spoiled brat.
I also recalled that he had told me several times that he wanted to buy new Jeeps to use as yard trucks as opposed to the trucks he presently had.
So, of course, I presented him with an opportunity to get rid of one. Why not destroy one of your own vehicles and blame it on an obvious disgruntled worker? That way you can claim it on the company insurance and get yourself a pretty, new Jeep!
Of course, I don't need to say this, but I will. I never vandalized that vehicle and I've never set foot on that property again after I left.
Well, I do know that my blogs really got under his skin. I also have digital photos of my blogs printed out and posted on bulletin boards in the rail yard facility that a employee was nice enough to take and email to me.
The guy is lucky I didn't sue him and his father's company. I came SOOOOOOO close. I even paid $320 to have the papers drawn up to serve my former employer. But then I realized that he'll get his in the form of karma. No doubt about it. And why should I turn into some kind of sue happy prick, anyway? Let it go, move on.
OK, so I'm still a little bitter about all of this. I LOVED my job in the rail yard. And for it to come down to me feeling like I was forced to quit because I knew that my boss was an irrational, lazy, possible dope smoker with no management capabilities or business sense really, REALLY pisses me off to this day.
I'm looking forward to the day I run into him again. I really am.
Anyway, where the hell was I was with this Wal*Mart story? OH YEAH, let's pick up with day 2. Before we left on day 1, I distinctly recall our trainer saying to be back the next morning at 8 AM. The reason being is the fact they had double booked orientations and would need the conference room around 2 PM for another class.
On day two, we all showed up at 8 AM and clocked in. We went into the conference room and waited. At 8:30 AM, our trainer (who is the "Asset Protection" supervisor {formerly known as "Loss Prevention"}) showed up and asked how long we had been there.
Several of us informed him that we were told to be there at 8 AM. He immediately got pissy with us and said orientation begins at 8:30 AM and he made it clear he didn't appreciate the fact we had been sitting around "twiddling our thumbs".
From there, the guy was pretty much a hard ass as we went through safety aspects of our jobs as well as loss prevention... errr... asset protection. We watched a few videos on safety and proper handling and inspection of power equipment.
Of course, we also followed along with the vast amounts of paperwork in our folders and made sure to check things off on the accompanying checklist.
Then we wrapped up at around 2 PM and were sent home. Another day of not working until 5:30 PM as we had all been instructed would happen when we were hired.
On the third day, we all made sure to be there at 8:30 AM as to not upset the Wal*Mart Gestapo. We had two more trainers. The first covered basic aspects and benefits of Wal*Mart like our Wal*Mart Discount Card for 10% off in Wal*Mart stores. She also taught us the Wal*Mart cheer, which I already knew from my prior time with Wal*Mart.
She also made it clear that one of her biggest pet peeves were people who pull a no call/no show. She wanted us all to know that if we couldn't hack it at the Distribution Center, to at least call and inform someone in management. She followed that statement by saying, (I'm not making this up):
"I guarantee that at least one of you in this class will pull a no call/no show!"
I realize that no call/no shows are frustrating to employers and employees. But I do not agree with a trainer being so pissy about it and letting personal feelings cloud her judgement. This just brings down the morale of new hires who would like to feel wanted and appreciated as opposed to a possible risk.
This also stuck me that CLEARLY this Distribution Center has been suffering from a serious turnover problem that they just can't seem to shake. Well, when you've got trainers like this, it's no wonder.
Our last and final trainer was, by far, the most bitchy. Right off the bat, she came off completely uninterested to be there and somewhat frustrated by our questions. It was her responsibility to educate us on all the medical and dental benefits offered by Wal*Mart.
One of my first questions was "When do our benefits start?". She informed us in 90 days of employment.
However, as she started a video, the video contradicted what she had told us. In the video covering our benefits, it said they start on the 181st day of employment. Then one of the other new hires opened up his employment benefits handbook that we had received and showed me that it said the same thing.
To which I said "Didn't she tell us 90 days? What the hell?"
Right about then, the lights came on and Gestapo Lady stormed to the front of the room, turned off the video player and told us to stand up because we were going to do the Wal*Mart cheer.
She then yells to the back of the class to the translating supervisor: "Hey, {supervisor's name here}, why are we doing the Wal*Mart cheer?"
Translating supervisor: "Because no one is paying attention!"
With that, we were off doing the Wal*mart cheer. What makes this funny is that our trainer was so pissed, that she didn't completely spell "Wal*Mart" in our Wal*Mart cheer. She did, however, spell "Wal*Mar".
After that, she told us to be quiet and pay attention. At this point, I was pissed. This is no way to treat new hires. Especially when it comes to questions regarding health benefits. So as she stormed off to the back of the room so we could continue to watch the video, I spoke up and said:
"Listen, I think all of us are just a little confused about when our benefits actually start."
To which she said, quite rudely: "Well, that's what I'm here for so watch the video."
We watched the video and the mood of the room was sucked dry by her attitude and and obvious dislike in having to train anymore people.
We then spent a good two hours covering the health benefits (which DO start in 90 days for Distribution Associates), dental benefits, 401K and profit sharing. Out of all the training and paperwork, this was the longest of all of them and the most detailed.
With that, we were pretty much done with orientation. But we were informed that some of us would have to come back the following day (today) to finish up one last element of training. That would be our "CBL" modules. That stands for "Computer Based Learning".
So, here I'm thinking I've got two days off before I start my actual shift on Saturday morning at 5:00 AM.
Nope, I had to go in this morning at 8:30 AM, again, and finish my "training" by doing two hours of computer based learning. And these computer modules were just a recap of everything I had learned during the past three days. I was out of there buy 10:30 AM.
As I look back on these three days, I can understand the position of this DC's management being stressed out and under the gun from corporate. Without enough employees, your production falls behind and everyone starts getting irritated because of the additional workload.
I know that this DC is on a HUGE hiring craze. At the time of my hire, they had 731 employees. I'm not sure how many they need to make the DC run smoother but it's obviously A LOT more than 731.
I'd like to move into a position with this DC where I oversee training the new hires. New hires need to be put at ease and made to feel welcome while realizing that they are going to be working hard and will be held accountable for mistakes.
Right now, they seem to be just going through the motions with uncaring tactics that does nothing for morale and makes you feel like you don't matter because you'll probably just wind up leaving anyway and wasting everyone's time.
This is unacceptable and needs to change. I have a completely different idea of Wal*Mart right now then when I worked for Wal*Mart the last time. However, I am looking at it from both sides of the fence and understand where the behavior comes from.
I'm still looking forward to officially starting my job on Saturday morning and seeing just what it entails. I just hope I don't encounter the same attitudes as I did in this orientation. That isn't pleasant for anyone involved.
I'm not trying to be negative here. I'm just voicing some frustrations and concerns I witnessed and I'm not even working yet.
Yikes.
Well, my ass is falling asleep in this chair I'm sitting on here in Starbucks. I can't feel my legs. By the way, the free internet is still not working at home. I have a suspicion that it's probably gone for good.
Well, that sucks.
At least I have my Starbucks. *sips coffee* Shit... my coffee is cold.
-Mike The Janitor
©2006
Millenoma Publishing
10.17.2006
1.2 million square feet
That's the size of the distribution center I work in.
ONE POINT TWO MILLION SQUARE FEET.
Holy Popsicles.
I was going to bring you up to speed on my adventures of my Wal*Mart Distribution Center orientation, but I've been having computer problems.
What's odd is that my computer went batty on Sunday as I was typing out my weekly "Mike's Top 20, Mike's Top 10 & Mike's Top 5" list. Actually, since I've missed a couple of weeks, it was going to be "Mike's Top 40, Mike's Top 20 & Mike's Top 10".
But then my computer froze up right after I got all that damn information typed out. My computer hasn't worked quite right since then. But what's REALLY interesting is the fact that it works perfectly now. Presently, I'm sitting in Starbucks using the overpriced T-Mobile Hot Spot.
But you know what's been keeping me from having to come into Starbucks to use the internet? Free internet from my home. That's right, FREE.
Here's the kicker... I realized I had free internet service at my home quite by accident AND AFTER I signed up for a one year deal with T-Mobile to utilize their Hot Spot service (to the tune of $29.99 a month).
So what sucks is that because I'm in a one year contract with T-Mobile, I can't cancel it because of early termination fees. But it does come in handy as a back up when something happens with the free internet service I'm getting at my home.
Now, as you've probably guessed, my computer comes with a wireless card and can receive just about any wireless signal to get on the internet.
It turns out that one of my neighbors, I'm not sure who (I think it might be the house next door to mine), has a STRONG wireless signal coming from it that allows me to pipe in with my wireless card and use the internet.
However, sometimes my computer acts like it did on this past Sunday and Monday. I'm not sure if it's some kind of network issue that my computer is trying to join to and causing my computer to take a shit or what.
Then again, perhaps the people providing me with the free signal have caught onto the stranger leeching onto their service and have put some kind of firewalls in place to make my computer act funny.
But I've also noticed that this happens when the weather gets bad. Which it has been since late Sunday afternoon.
Whatever the cause, it drove me out of my home at 8 PM to Starbucks to use the internet because I'm a goddamn MySpace junkie.
Plus, I'm not much of a blogger when I'm in Starbucks because it's not the kind of environment that makes me open up as when I'm at home, you know. Well, I guess that depends on what kind of blog I'm writing.
For instance, obviously, I'm writing this one here just fine.
Anyway, yeah, the Distribution Center I'm working in is 1.2 million square feet. And, from what I could tell, they have about 500 (YES, FIVE HUNDRED) active docking garage doors. I might be wrong on that but as we toured the facility, that was the count on the actual doors I witness by the time we were done.
Basically, the place is HUGE. HUUUGGGGGGEEEEEEE. I can't even begin to describe to you how everything works but it's pretty damn incredible.
I also can't begin to tell you the amount of paperwork you have to fill out and videos you have to watch and computer based training you have to complete before you even start your job.
Of course, when I officially start my first shift on Saturday morning at 5 AM, I'll be getting an additional two weeks of on the job training.
There are 18 people in my orientation class. Nine of us will be working in the same department known as DA Unloader. If I remember correctly, "DA" stands for Distribution Assembly.
When I start my job, I'll give you a better idea of what I'll be doing. Basically I'll be unloading trucks of goods that get loaded onto other trucks. But I know there is much more detail to my job than that.
And if you think I'm going to be using a forklift all day, HELL NO! From what I could see during our tour, the trucks that are unloaded come in with product neatly stacked from floor to ceiling of an 18-wheeler tractor trailer.
You either unload it onto pallets or onto a conveyor belt. I'm really blank on the rest because we haven't been given any real details to our specific job duties. But I will say this, you have to work hard, fast and accurate.
By the way, you'll be happy to know I did record a new podcast on WildVoice.com that I was able to upload before my computer took a nap. So feel free to check it out. It's called "Mike hates Sundays".
OK, that's it from me for now. Hopefully the mysterious computer phantom at my home will be gone soon so I can feed my internet addiction. Not that I don't mind hanging out at Starbucks, drinking coffee and typing blogs.
It's just harder to get away with masturbating to porn in a public place.
-Mike The Janitor
©2006
Millenoma Publishing
ONE POINT TWO MILLION SQUARE FEET.
Holy Popsicles.
I was going to bring you up to speed on my adventures of my Wal*Mart Distribution Center orientation, but I've been having computer problems.
What's odd is that my computer went batty on Sunday as I was typing out my weekly "Mike's Top 20, Mike's Top 10 & Mike's Top 5" list. Actually, since I've missed a couple of weeks, it was going to be "Mike's Top 40, Mike's Top 20 & Mike's Top 10".
But then my computer froze up right after I got all that damn information typed out. My computer hasn't worked quite right since then. But what's REALLY interesting is the fact that it works perfectly now. Presently, I'm sitting in Starbucks using the overpriced T-Mobile Hot Spot.
But you know what's been keeping me from having to come into Starbucks to use the internet? Free internet from my home. That's right, FREE.
Here's the kicker... I realized I had free internet service at my home quite by accident AND AFTER I signed up for a one year deal with T-Mobile to utilize their Hot Spot service (to the tune of $29.99 a month).
So what sucks is that because I'm in a one year contract with T-Mobile, I can't cancel it because of early termination fees. But it does come in handy as a back up when something happens with the free internet service I'm getting at my home.
Now, as you've probably guessed, my computer comes with a wireless card and can receive just about any wireless signal to get on the internet.
It turns out that one of my neighbors, I'm not sure who (I think it might be the house next door to mine), has a STRONG wireless signal coming from it that allows me to pipe in with my wireless card and use the internet.
However, sometimes my computer acts like it did on this past Sunday and Monday. I'm not sure if it's some kind of network issue that my computer is trying to join to and causing my computer to take a shit or what.
Then again, perhaps the people providing me with the free signal have caught onto the stranger leeching onto their service and have put some kind of firewalls in place to make my computer act funny.
But I've also noticed that this happens when the weather gets bad. Which it has been since late Sunday afternoon.
Whatever the cause, it drove me out of my home at 8 PM to Starbucks to use the internet because I'm a goddamn MySpace junkie.
Plus, I'm not much of a blogger when I'm in Starbucks because it's not the kind of environment that makes me open up as when I'm at home, you know. Well, I guess that depends on what kind of blog I'm writing.
For instance, obviously, I'm writing this one here just fine.
Anyway, yeah, the Distribution Center I'm working in is 1.2 million square feet. And, from what I could tell, they have about 500 (YES, FIVE HUNDRED) active docking garage doors. I might be wrong on that but as we toured the facility, that was the count on the actual doors I witness by the time we were done.
Basically, the place is HUGE. HUUUGGGGGGEEEEEEE. I can't even begin to describe to you how everything works but it's pretty damn incredible.
I also can't begin to tell you the amount of paperwork you have to fill out and videos you have to watch and computer based training you have to complete before you even start your job.
Of course, when I officially start my first shift on Saturday morning at 5 AM, I'll be getting an additional two weeks of on the job training.
There are 18 people in my orientation class. Nine of us will be working in the same department known as DA Unloader. If I remember correctly, "DA" stands for Distribution Assembly.
When I start my job, I'll give you a better idea of what I'll be doing. Basically I'll be unloading trucks of goods that get loaded onto other trucks. But I know there is much more detail to my job than that.
And if you think I'm going to be using a forklift all day, HELL NO! From what I could see during our tour, the trucks that are unloaded come in with product neatly stacked from floor to ceiling of an 18-wheeler tractor trailer.
You either unload it onto pallets or onto a conveyor belt. I'm really blank on the rest because we haven't been given any real details to our specific job duties. But I will say this, you have to work hard, fast and accurate.
By the way, you'll be happy to know I did record a new podcast on WildVoice.com that I was able to upload before my computer took a nap. So feel free to check it out. It's called "Mike hates Sundays".
OK, that's it from me for now. Hopefully the mysterious computer phantom at my home will be gone soon so I can feed my internet addiction. Not that I don't mind hanging out at Starbucks, drinking coffee and typing blogs.
It's just harder to get away with masturbating to porn in a public place.
-Mike The Janitor
©2006
Millenoma Publishing
10.12.2006
Christ... I hope I don't have the bird flu
Not too long ago, I finished a frustrating project. Well, maybe frustrating isn't quite the word to use. More like tedious. Yeah, that's good. Tedious. I sound smart. Tedious.
The project I took on was to figure out why my dryer was not drying. Since receiving a washer and dryer from my friend Kris (thanks again, Kris), I've taken on the task of cleaning them up some since they've been sitting for a while.
With the washer, I first used distilled white vinegar. Then I used some Pine-Sol. Then I scrubbed it down with some CLR. It wasn't too dirty but it did need a good cleaning, I felt. It runs great. A couple of slight mechanical problems but it works and I can't complain since I got it for free, right? Right.
The dryer is good, too. As I pointed out in an earlier blog, it's that old school "split pea green soup" color. Awesome! I love it. The only problem is that it wouldn't dry my first batch of clothes I washed in a test run.
The washer washed the clothes just fine. Nice and clean. The dryer got very hot but wasn't actually drying because it wasn't circulating air.
What could be causing this problem? Well, a little thought on my part I immediately figured out that it must be the dryer hose. It has to be clogged.
So, today, I had to pull everything away from the wall to give myself plenty of room to work and get around. This not only meant pulling the washer and dryer away from my kitchen wall but my stove and refrigerator, too.
The hose for the dryer runs behind the stove and fridge. Then it goes up the wall about six feet and out a vent in the wall.
Here's where it gets interesting and why it lead to me taking on a whole project of cleaning the dryer hose out.
Yesterday, after my test run of trying to wash and dry my clothes, I not only noticed the clothes weren't drying but there was a musty, wet smell in my house that had been coming from the dryer. This is what made me immediately think of the dryer hose.
So, I went outside to find where the vent to the dryer came to the outside of the house. Upon going outside, I met my new neighbor. His name is Mike, too. Ironically, he works at Wal*Mart (along with his wife) just up the street. I should say he works for a Wal*Mart store whereas I work at the Distribution Center.
Anyway, as we greet each other, he introduces me to his friend, Thomas. Thomas had come over to help Mike with a washer and dryer, too. However, Mike has brand new units as opposed to my second hand Magic Chef washer and "split pea green soup" Kenmore dryer.
Thomas points out that my dryer vent is clogged. Sure enough, I look up and I could see it clear as day. It's not only clogged but it doesn't look like lint. It looks like weeds or something.
What's really funny is that in the hole for the dryer vent is a coffee can with holes punched in it to make a makeshift vent of some sort. Not your standard vent that you would usually see outside of a house for a dryer.
Since it was getting late, I didn't want to bang around all night trying to un-clog the dryer hose and the wall vent. So I waited until this morning.
Which brings me to what I encountered. There was quite a bit of dryer hose behind the stove and fridge. Way more than needed. So I cut that down and cleaned out the remaining hose that I was going to use for venting purposes.
Then I removed the wall plate that attaches the hose to the wall so the air can blow outside. It was at this point I found the REAL problem.
Inside the hole for the dryer vent, was a nest. A goddamn bird's nest. It was packed full of dry weeds and whatnot to make a nice little home for these fucking birds that once lived there.
It was disgusting at it stunk... BAD. Whomever lived here before me and made that stupid fucking coffee can vent for the outside, didn't bother to clean out what was on the inside of the wall leading out.
So, I did. I took a garbage bag and an old kitchen knife and I dug out all the shit crammed in there. That included TWO dead birds. YUCK! WHAT THE FUCK!
Then I took my vacuum cleaner and attached the cleaning wand an sucked all the rest of the shit out as best I could. I then threw away the shit and dead birds from the wall, the kitchen knife I used to dig it with and immediately changed out my vacuum cleaner bag.
As I was doing this, the vacuum is banging around behind the fridge and stove as I am. I stumbled on the hose and fell into the back of the fridge. This pushed my fridge forward which, in turn, knocked all the pack rat shit on top of my fridge off.
Some of those items went right off onto the stove into the frying pan I had used earlier this morning to make bacon and eggs. So I had to throw all that shit away because it was covered in bacon and egg grease. SHIT!
Then I got everything cleaned and just right to my liking. I positioned everything back only to realize I hadn't plugged the stove nor the dryer back in. FUCK! So I had to pull the stove and dryer back out and climb behind the units to plug them in.
Then I realized I was kind of trapped behind the appliances because I could only pull them out just enough so the cords could reach the plugs. At this point, my fat ass is drenched in sweat from the appliance workout.
So, I jumped up on top of the appliances to climb over them and get back on the other side so I could push them back against the wall. As I did this, I used my right knee on top of the dryer to lift myself up and over. But my knee was sweaty and gave out by sliding out from under me as I climbed over the dryer.
This sent me falling, face first, into my kitchen carpet with a nice, dull thud. Ouch.
I just laid there for a moment or two.
Then I started to laugh slightly.
Fucking bird's nest.
My clothes are dry, though.
-Mike The Janitor
©2006
Millenoma Publishing
The project I took on was to figure out why my dryer was not drying. Since receiving a washer and dryer from my friend Kris (thanks again, Kris), I've taken on the task of cleaning them up some since they've been sitting for a while.
With the washer, I first used distilled white vinegar. Then I used some Pine-Sol. Then I scrubbed it down with some CLR. It wasn't too dirty but it did need a good cleaning, I felt. It runs great. A couple of slight mechanical problems but it works and I can't complain since I got it for free, right? Right.
The dryer is good, too. As I pointed out in an earlier blog, it's that old school "split pea green soup" color. Awesome! I love it. The only problem is that it wouldn't dry my first batch of clothes I washed in a test run.
The washer washed the clothes just fine. Nice and clean. The dryer got very hot but wasn't actually drying because it wasn't circulating air.
What could be causing this problem? Well, a little thought on my part I immediately figured out that it must be the dryer hose. It has to be clogged.
So, today, I had to pull everything away from the wall to give myself plenty of room to work and get around. This not only meant pulling the washer and dryer away from my kitchen wall but my stove and refrigerator, too.
The hose for the dryer runs behind the stove and fridge. Then it goes up the wall about six feet and out a vent in the wall.
Here's where it gets interesting and why it lead to me taking on a whole project of cleaning the dryer hose out.
Yesterday, after my test run of trying to wash and dry my clothes, I not only noticed the clothes weren't drying but there was a musty, wet smell in my house that had been coming from the dryer. This is what made me immediately think of the dryer hose.
So, I went outside to find where the vent to the dryer came to the outside of the house. Upon going outside, I met my new neighbor. His name is Mike, too. Ironically, he works at Wal*Mart (along with his wife) just up the street. I should say he works for a Wal*Mart store whereas I work at the Distribution Center.
Anyway, as we greet each other, he introduces me to his friend, Thomas. Thomas had come over to help Mike with a washer and dryer, too. However, Mike has brand new units as opposed to my second hand Magic Chef washer and "split pea green soup" Kenmore dryer.
Thomas points out that my dryer vent is clogged. Sure enough, I look up and I could see it clear as day. It's not only clogged but it doesn't look like lint. It looks like weeds or something.
What's really funny is that in the hole for the dryer vent is a coffee can with holes punched in it to make a makeshift vent of some sort. Not your standard vent that you would usually see outside of a house for a dryer.
Since it was getting late, I didn't want to bang around all night trying to un-clog the dryer hose and the wall vent. So I waited until this morning.
Which brings me to what I encountered. There was quite a bit of dryer hose behind the stove and fridge. Way more than needed. So I cut that down and cleaned out the remaining hose that I was going to use for venting purposes.
Then I removed the wall plate that attaches the hose to the wall so the air can blow outside. It was at this point I found the REAL problem.
Inside the hole for the dryer vent, was a nest. A goddamn bird's nest. It was packed full of dry weeds and whatnot to make a nice little home for these fucking birds that once lived there.
It was disgusting at it stunk... BAD. Whomever lived here before me and made that stupid fucking coffee can vent for the outside, didn't bother to clean out what was on the inside of the wall leading out.
So, I did. I took a garbage bag and an old kitchen knife and I dug out all the shit crammed in there. That included TWO dead birds. YUCK! WHAT THE FUCK!
Then I took my vacuum cleaner and attached the cleaning wand an sucked all the rest of the shit out as best I could. I then threw away the shit and dead birds from the wall, the kitchen knife I used to dig it with and immediately changed out my vacuum cleaner bag.
As I was doing this, the vacuum is banging around behind the fridge and stove as I am. I stumbled on the hose and fell into the back of the fridge. This pushed my fridge forward which, in turn, knocked all the pack rat shit on top of my fridge off.
Some of those items went right off onto the stove into the frying pan I had used earlier this morning to make bacon and eggs. So I had to throw all that shit away because it was covered in bacon and egg grease. SHIT!
Then I got everything cleaned and just right to my liking. I positioned everything back only to realize I hadn't plugged the stove nor the dryer back in. FUCK! So I had to pull the stove and dryer back out and climb behind the units to plug them in.
Then I realized I was kind of trapped behind the appliances because I could only pull them out just enough so the cords could reach the plugs. At this point, my fat ass is drenched in sweat from the appliance workout.
So, I jumped up on top of the appliances to climb over them and get back on the other side so I could push them back against the wall. As I did this, I used my right knee on top of the dryer to lift myself up and over. But my knee was sweaty and gave out by sliding out from under me as I climbed over the dryer.
This sent me falling, face first, into my kitchen carpet with a nice, dull thud. Ouch.
I just laid there for a moment or two.
Then I started to laugh slightly.
Fucking bird's nest.
My clothes are dry, though.
-Mike The Janitor
©2006
Millenoma Publishing
10.11.2006
Always the right job. Always.
They say third time is a charm. For me at this particular moment in time, this is true to form.
Yesterday while I was busy boobing about my buddy Nick in the Pulitzer Prize® winning blog "No, Mike. Not Rick... NICK", I received a phone call.
The phone call was from the Wal*Mart Distribution Center that is located about 30 minutes west of where I live. It's on the outskirts of a small town known as Grantsville. Grantsville is like a small suburb of Tooele in Tooele County.
For those of you who aren't from the Utah area, that is pronounced "TWO ILL UH" and not "TOO LEE".
Anyway, out of all the jobs I've applied for recently, this is one of the better paying ones. I'm actually starting out making more money than I was making in the rail yard when I quit. Plus, you get a raise every six months.
I was out there yesterday morning for a final interview and the guy who interviewed me really busted my balls. He couldn't understand why someone with my talent and background would want to come and throw boxes all day. He wasn't being rude. He was just making sure I knew what I was getting into.
Yes, I know. I'm getting into the back of a tractor trailer and unloading or loading goods either by hand or with a forklift. Yeah, I got it. It's cool. I'm so ready. Give me a forklift right now. Let's go! The consumers of Wal*Mart need their shit! I know because I shop there!
Now, I've run into this problem at other jobs I've applied at. I even ran into it before getting the job at the rail yard. But I can always get the job because I'm a good employee at whatever I do, I believe.
If I'm not going to get back into radio anytime soon or at all, I want something that pays well that I can be happy with. I also want growth potential and long term career goal options.
You're probably chuckling to yourself thinking "Wal*Mart is the job you wanted?!" HELL YES! It's a stable company and THE seller of consumer goods in the world. I've always wanted to rule the world. And with Wal*Mart's help, I CAN FINALLY ACHIEVE WORLD DOMINATION! MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Plus, let's not forget the 10% discount I'll receive in all Wal*Mart and Sam's Club stores!
I'm quite capable of loading and unloading goods all day. He gave me a tour of the facility and I can't even describe to you what I saw. It was fantastic the operation they have there. The building is probably the size of four or five football fields. I've never seen anything quite like it.
The schedule I have will be full time and it's great! I picked working three twelve hour shifts from 5 AM to 5:30 PM on Saturday, Sunday and Monday. By getting the weekend shift, I get an additional $1.35 more an hour for a shift differential. AWESOME!
I was happy when I got this. Really. I even remember doing a slight cheer and thanking my buddy Nick for looking out for me. And I'm sure he was looking down at me with a Jack & Coke saying: "WAL*MART?! REALLY? Well, good luck, jackass!"
I start an orientation on Monday. I guess I won't need to be going back to the dispatch job at Peak Alarm. I better give them a call. Let's recap here... I went from the airport to to alarm company to Wal*Mart in a matter of a couple of weeks. Super. Third time IS a charm.
I just realized that I totally spaced on doing my weekly "Mike's Top 20, Mike's Top 10 & Mike's Top 5" list. Whoops.
Well, I need to get to the post office and mail some things. I also have plans for the rest of this week to get really shit faced in celebration and...
... mourning.
-Mike The Janitor
©2006
Millenoma Publishing
Yesterday while I was busy boobing about my buddy Nick in the Pulitzer Prize® winning blog "No, Mike. Not Rick... NICK", I received a phone call.
The phone call was from the Wal*Mart Distribution Center that is located about 30 minutes west of where I live. It's on the outskirts of a small town known as Grantsville. Grantsville is like a small suburb of Tooele in Tooele County.
For those of you who aren't from the Utah area, that is pronounced "TWO ILL UH" and not "TOO LEE".
Anyway, out of all the jobs I've applied for recently, this is one of the better paying ones. I'm actually starting out making more money than I was making in the rail yard when I quit. Plus, you get a raise every six months.
I was out there yesterday morning for a final interview and the guy who interviewed me really busted my balls. He couldn't understand why someone with my talent and background would want to come and throw boxes all day. He wasn't being rude. He was just making sure I knew what I was getting into.
Yes, I know. I'm getting into the back of a tractor trailer and unloading or loading goods either by hand or with a forklift. Yeah, I got it. It's cool. I'm so ready. Give me a forklift right now. Let's go! The consumers of Wal*Mart need their shit! I know because I shop there!
Now, I've run into this problem at other jobs I've applied at. I even ran into it before getting the job at the rail yard. But I can always get the job because I'm a good employee at whatever I do, I believe.
If I'm not going to get back into radio anytime soon or at all, I want something that pays well that I can be happy with. I also want growth potential and long term career goal options.
You're probably chuckling to yourself thinking "Wal*Mart is the job you wanted?!" HELL YES! It's a stable company and THE seller of consumer goods in the world. I've always wanted to rule the world. And with Wal*Mart's help, I CAN FINALLY ACHIEVE WORLD DOMINATION! MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Plus, let's not forget the 10% discount I'll receive in all Wal*Mart and Sam's Club stores!
I'm quite capable of loading and unloading goods all day. He gave me a tour of the facility and I can't even describe to you what I saw. It was fantastic the operation they have there. The building is probably the size of four or five football fields. I've never seen anything quite like it.
The schedule I have will be full time and it's great! I picked working three twelve hour shifts from 5 AM to 5:30 PM on Saturday, Sunday and Monday. By getting the weekend shift, I get an additional $1.35 more an hour for a shift differential. AWESOME!
I was happy when I got this. Really. I even remember doing a slight cheer and thanking my buddy Nick for looking out for me. And I'm sure he was looking down at me with a Jack & Coke saying: "WAL*MART?! REALLY? Well, good luck, jackass!"
I start an orientation on Monday. I guess I won't need to be going back to the dispatch job at Peak Alarm. I better give them a call. Let's recap here... I went from the airport to to alarm company to Wal*Mart in a matter of a couple of weeks. Super. Third time IS a charm.
I just realized that I totally spaced on doing my weekly "Mike's Top 20, Mike's Top 10 & Mike's Top 5" list. Whoops.
Well, I need to get to the post office and mail some things. I also have plans for the rest of this week to get really shit faced in celebration and...
... mourning.
-Mike The Janitor
©2006
Millenoma Publishing
10.10.2006
"No, Mike. Not Rick... NICK."
The subject line reflects how the news was brought to me that my dear friend, Nick Danger, had died. It's part of a conversation I had with my friend, Chrissy Pryor, who told me the news.
This line and the information that followed all happened one year ago today. The second Tuesday of October.
Ironically, the first Tuesday of October, I had been fired from the morning show I was working on in Tucson, Arizona. Chrissy was one of my partners on this morning show. Chrissy, too, was good friends with Nick Danger because she had also worked in Reno, Nevada with him as I had.
I remember being so angry and upset about my termination that I couldn't focus on anything else. I was applying for unemployment and talking to attorneys about suing my former employer because of the reasons regarding my termination and treatment. While I was investigating that I was trying to find work in Tucson, whether it was radio or whatever, to make ends meet. All of it was taking an incredible toll on me emotionally, physically and financially.
And then my phone rang.
It was Chrissy. The first words out of her mouth were "Are you sitting down?". Now, immediately, I start assuming she's calling me with some kind of inside information about things being said about me being fired and blah, blah, blah.
I recall telling her something to the effect of "What? Are you calling to tell me that THEY are going to sue ME? What worse things can they do to me after what they've done, Chrissy? Are they going to fire me again? Why do I need to be sitting down?"
"Rick's dead."
I remember shutting up really quick and repeating what I thought I heard. "What? Rick's dead? Oh no. That's terrible! Rick DIED?"
Since I thought she had said "Rick", I thought she was talking about a colleague of ours, Rick Carter, that worked in Reno, Nevada. Rick is a great radio personality and voice talent. I was thinking about this as well as his wife and new twins that his wife had given birth to. I was thinking how awful it must be for his wife to be dealing with this and how sad I felt that Rick had died.
But before I could continue with my thoughts of loss regarding Rick Carter, Chrissy spoke up and repeated herself.
"No, Mike. Not Rick... NICK. Nick Danger is dead."
Even as I type this I'm becoming overwhelmed with emotion and grief.
I was standing in my bedroom. I know now why Chrissy asked if I was sitting down because I fell down at that moment into the foot of my bed and then to the floor in utter disbelief.
"WHAT?! What are you talking about? What do you mean Nick is dead?! HOW CAN THAT BE! I just talked to him on Instant Messenger last Thursday!" I said.
Chrissy replied: "All I know is they think it has something to do with his blood clots from a couple of years ago."
"Chrissy, that can't be! He was on medication for that! He can't be dead. He just can't be dead!"
That's really all I remember of the conversation. I do remember Chrissy making a joke about the fact that bad news seems to hit me on Tuesdays.
After I hung up with Chrissy, I broke down. I started beating my fists into the foot of the bed and on the floor as I cried over the information I had just received. I remember gasping for air and getting so worked up that I started to dry heave.
I crawled on my bedroom floor to the bathroom where I put myself over the toilet in case I threw up. I sat in there for a long time sobbing to myself and feeling completely alone. And then I was overcome with regret.
I tried to pull myself together and went to calling Nick's girlfriend, Brieanna. I was able to remember her phone number because it was very similar to Nick's. Amazingly, she answered the phone.
"Brieanna? It's Mike The Janitor calling."
I won't ever forget how she responded. It had been a long time since I had spoke to her.
From a deep, painful sob she said: "I'm so sorry, Mike. I'm SO sorry."
This just caused me to get more emotional because I knew right then that there was more to Nick's death than what was being told.
I gave my own condolences to Brieanna and said that I had been told that Nick had died due to complications from his blood clots that he had suffered.
Like Chrissy, Brieanna would serve me the next blow on this fateful Tuesday.
"That isn't true, Mike. Nick shot himself. They found his body yesterday in his apartment after he didn't show up to work and nobody could get a hold of him."
This new information made it that much more devastating. Brieanna also explained to me that the radio station was paying to fly his father and step mother out and that Nick's services would be the following Sunday.
With that, I made the decision to drop my problems in Tucson and take a road trip to Reno, Nevada. I told Brieanna that I would be in Reno on Friday afternoon.
After I talked to Brieanna, I called my mom. After I called my mom, I called my friend, Tim. And after I called Tim, I got a call from my friend, Bill Tanner, that I hadn't spoke to for quite some time. He had gotten wind of Nick's death clear down in San Diego, California.
After talking and crying on the phone half the morning, I passed out.
I woke up several hours later in a daze. Then I remembered that I hadn't been dreaming and that Nick was truly dead.
I had planned for this blog to be longer but I just can't bring myself to speak of this anymore. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about Nick.
I will close with this. A few nights ago I had an odd dream that I still think about. In my dream, I'm awoken in the middle of the night by a loud pounding on my door. When I open the door, there are two men in dark suits asking me to look at some pictures.
I don't ask these two guys in dark suits who they are but I get the strong impression they are with some government agency.
I agree to look at the pictures they have in a folder. As I start leafing through the pictures, none of the individuals in the photos strike me as familiar. Until I get to the middle of the stack of these black and white pictures.
I gaze in astonishment as I recognize Nick. He looks the same. Hell, he even looks happy. The photograph is a zoomed in shot of him walking into some type of eatery/deli/diner. One of the suited men asks me if that person looks familiar?
I reply: "Yes. Yes... this is my friend Nick. But this can't be. He died."
The agent replies: "No, sir, he isn't dead but he could be if he doesn't get some help. He's in danger and might try to find you."
And then I woke up... for real.
I've often wondered if this could be true. To the best of my knowledge, the only people to view Nick's body after he died were his parents and his ex-girlfriend, Amanda. I have to personally admit that I was quite angry that I didn't get to view his body.
I was also angry that I was never invited to help pack up his belongings in his apartment when his parents moved his stuff out. It was also brought to my attention that a good majority of his belongings were going to be sold on E-Bay.
I was of the opinion that these belongings should have been divided up and given out to all those that were closest to him. I know that he would have wanted it that way since he had a falling out with his family long ago.
Honestly, I just wanted to see his apartment one last time they way I remembered it. I didn't even get that.
I'm just being negative here. There are just so many unanswered questions about things involving Nick's death that have never made much sense to me. And I know they never will, either.
I sometimes like to think of him as I did in that bizarre dream. A rogue agent on the run that nobody really knew but were completely happy with and completely changed by the effect he had on our lives.
In memory of Nick "Danger" Baker
1969-2005
-Mike The Janitor
©2006
Millenoma Publishing
This line and the information that followed all happened one year ago today. The second Tuesday of October.
Ironically, the first Tuesday of October, I had been fired from the morning show I was working on in Tucson, Arizona. Chrissy was one of my partners on this morning show. Chrissy, too, was good friends with Nick Danger because she had also worked in Reno, Nevada with him as I had.
I remember being so angry and upset about my termination that I couldn't focus on anything else. I was applying for unemployment and talking to attorneys about suing my former employer because of the reasons regarding my termination and treatment. While I was investigating that I was trying to find work in Tucson, whether it was radio or whatever, to make ends meet. All of it was taking an incredible toll on me emotionally, physically and financially.
And then my phone rang.
It was Chrissy. The first words out of her mouth were "Are you sitting down?". Now, immediately, I start assuming she's calling me with some kind of inside information about things being said about me being fired and blah, blah, blah.
I recall telling her something to the effect of "What? Are you calling to tell me that THEY are going to sue ME? What worse things can they do to me after what they've done, Chrissy? Are they going to fire me again? Why do I need to be sitting down?"
"Rick's dead."
I remember shutting up really quick and repeating what I thought I heard. "What? Rick's dead? Oh no. That's terrible! Rick DIED?"
Since I thought she had said "Rick", I thought she was talking about a colleague of ours, Rick Carter, that worked in Reno, Nevada. Rick is a great radio personality and voice talent. I was thinking about this as well as his wife and new twins that his wife had given birth to. I was thinking how awful it must be for his wife to be dealing with this and how sad I felt that Rick had died.
But before I could continue with my thoughts of loss regarding Rick Carter, Chrissy spoke up and repeated herself.
"No, Mike. Not Rick... NICK. Nick Danger is dead."
Even as I type this I'm becoming overwhelmed with emotion and grief.
I was standing in my bedroom. I know now why Chrissy asked if I was sitting down because I fell down at that moment into the foot of my bed and then to the floor in utter disbelief.
"WHAT?! What are you talking about? What do you mean Nick is dead?! HOW CAN THAT BE! I just talked to him on Instant Messenger last Thursday!" I said.
Chrissy replied: "All I know is they think it has something to do with his blood clots from a couple of years ago."
"Chrissy, that can't be! He was on medication for that! He can't be dead. He just can't be dead!"
That's really all I remember of the conversation. I do remember Chrissy making a joke about the fact that bad news seems to hit me on Tuesdays.
After I hung up with Chrissy, I broke down. I started beating my fists into the foot of the bed and on the floor as I cried over the information I had just received. I remember gasping for air and getting so worked up that I started to dry heave.
I crawled on my bedroom floor to the bathroom where I put myself over the toilet in case I threw up. I sat in there for a long time sobbing to myself and feeling completely alone. And then I was overcome with regret.
I tried to pull myself together and went to calling Nick's girlfriend, Brieanna. I was able to remember her phone number because it was very similar to Nick's. Amazingly, she answered the phone.
"Brieanna? It's Mike The Janitor calling."
I won't ever forget how she responded. It had been a long time since I had spoke to her.
From a deep, painful sob she said: "I'm so sorry, Mike. I'm SO sorry."
This just caused me to get more emotional because I knew right then that there was more to Nick's death than what was being told.
I gave my own condolences to Brieanna and said that I had been told that Nick had died due to complications from his blood clots that he had suffered.
Like Chrissy, Brieanna would serve me the next blow on this fateful Tuesday.
"That isn't true, Mike. Nick shot himself. They found his body yesterday in his apartment after he didn't show up to work and nobody could get a hold of him."
This new information made it that much more devastating. Brieanna also explained to me that the radio station was paying to fly his father and step mother out and that Nick's services would be the following Sunday.
With that, I made the decision to drop my problems in Tucson and take a road trip to Reno, Nevada. I told Brieanna that I would be in Reno on Friday afternoon.
After I talked to Brieanna, I called my mom. After I called my mom, I called my friend, Tim. And after I called Tim, I got a call from my friend, Bill Tanner, that I hadn't spoke to for quite some time. He had gotten wind of Nick's death clear down in San Diego, California.
After talking and crying on the phone half the morning, I passed out.
I woke up several hours later in a daze. Then I remembered that I hadn't been dreaming and that Nick was truly dead.
I had planned for this blog to be longer but I just can't bring myself to speak of this anymore. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about Nick.
I will close with this. A few nights ago I had an odd dream that I still think about. In my dream, I'm awoken in the middle of the night by a loud pounding on my door. When I open the door, there are two men in dark suits asking me to look at some pictures.
I don't ask these two guys in dark suits who they are but I get the strong impression they are with some government agency.
I agree to look at the pictures they have in a folder. As I start leafing through the pictures, none of the individuals in the photos strike me as familiar. Until I get to the middle of the stack of these black and white pictures.
I gaze in astonishment as I recognize Nick. He looks the same. Hell, he even looks happy. The photograph is a zoomed in shot of him walking into some type of eatery/deli/diner. One of the suited men asks me if that person looks familiar?
I reply: "Yes. Yes... this is my friend Nick. But this can't be. He died."
The agent replies: "No, sir, he isn't dead but he could be if he doesn't get some help. He's in danger and might try to find you."
And then I woke up... for real.
I've often wondered if this could be true. To the best of my knowledge, the only people to view Nick's body after he died were his parents and his ex-girlfriend, Amanda. I have to personally admit that I was quite angry that I didn't get to view his body.
I was also angry that I was never invited to help pack up his belongings in his apartment when his parents moved his stuff out. It was also brought to my attention that a good majority of his belongings were going to be sold on E-Bay.
I was of the opinion that these belongings should have been divided up and given out to all those that were closest to him. I know that he would have wanted it that way since he had a falling out with his family long ago.
Honestly, I just wanted to see his apartment one last time they way I remembered it. I didn't even get that.
I'm just being negative here. There are just so many unanswered questions about things involving Nick's death that have never made much sense to me. And I know they never will, either.
I sometimes like to think of him as I did in that bizarre dream. A rogue agent on the run that nobody really knew but were completely happy with and completely changed by the effect he had on our lives.
In memory of Nick "Danger" Baker
1969-2005
-Mike The Janitor
©2006
Millenoma Publishing
10.08.2006
A couple of "thank you's" to the following...
I wanted to publicly thank some people who have done some nice things for me as of late.
First off, I'd like to God and the members of the Academy for their support and belief in my picture... wait, hold on...
...sorry... that was an acceptance speech I've written to read when I win the Academy Award® for my first motion picture release. Since we all know that will never come true, I'll just put that away with my other hopes and dreams in the file cabinet of life known as the trash can.
In all seriousness, I'd like to thank Chris Kowanko and his band mates of Monsterbuck for sending me a free copy of their EP. I might have already thanked them before but I'm doing it again just to cover my bases. Check out their stuff here on MySpace or visit their website at www.mosterbuck66.com. To hear some of Chris Kowanko's solo material, check out www.kowanko.com.
I'd also like to thank my friends Mary and Bev at Sherlock's SLASH Park Place in Erie, Pennsylvania for sending me some Sherlock's SLASH Park Place t-shirts. What a nice surprise to get a gift from my official loitering spot there in Erie.
I'd like to thank another friend, Kris Blackburn, for coming over this past Saturday and hooking me up with a washer and dryer. That was extremely nice and charitable of him to go to that trouble. Thank you, Kris. These things may be older but they seem to be working great. I especially like the old school "split pea soup" green of the dryer. That is rad!
I'd also like to thank my friend and former program director, Jave Patterson, in Reno, Nevada at Pure Rock 104.5 for giving me the scoop on a possible morning show opportunity in Iowa that he recommended me for. Sadly, once their current morning show leaves, that station will more than likely go with syndicating Mancow in the morning slot.
I'd like to thank my friends, former co-workers and listeners in Erie, Pennsylvania for their continuing support after all these years. I can't help but think that my secret true calling is to return there and dominate that radio market for a while.
I'd like to thank the staff of WildVoice.com for utilizing me as a featured channel on their website. I'm still flattered by this decision of theirs. I hope my ugly mug or silly ass samples of radio shows I've done in the past, my podcasts or my videos don't prevent business for them.
And, lastly, I'd like to thank my girlfriend, the Starbucks barista, for being... well... my girlfriend. Also, thanks for the awesome sex last night. Good times!
Basically, I'm typing this blog to help me wake up. In about an hour, I'll be heading to my new job to be a dispatcher. Nothing fancy about this job, mind you. It's for a family owned and operated security company known as Peak Alarm.
Have I mentioned this already in another blog? I think I might have. I'm not sure. I'm kind of sleepy.
I'm also cold. Get this, the furnace to my apartment has been working quite well up until Thursday when, for some reason, it wouldn't turn on.
Now, what sucks about this is the fact that my thermostat also controls the heat for the apartment behind mine. Basically, where I live, is an older house that's been converted into a four-plex. Two units upstairs and a converted basement makes two units downstairs.
The furnace for the downstairs units are working fine, I guess. But the one for my unit and my neighbor went out when the maintenance man came over for some routine work to change the filters and whatnot.
Whatever he did caused the furnace not to work again. So my neighbor and I have been pretty damn cold, especially at night, for the past couple of days.
My new landlord, who just bought this property, assured me that it will be fixed but they have to replace the furnace. That won't happen until Tuesday.
So I guess it's good that I have this overnight job because I'll be in a warm office as opposed to a freezing bedroom with no heat. I'm sorry to say my neighbor will have to suffer this fate.
Before I go, I'd like to let you know that I just may lose my shit in a simulcast transmission via podcast and video of me beating the hell out of my Mr. Coffee coffee maker. I intend on putting it to death with my hammer. It's a piece of shit and needs to be taken out.
So I just might be doing that tomorrow to let out some stress and aggression when I get off work from my first day on the job. It all depends on how tired I am. I get off at eight in the morning.
OK, I'm off to work. Man, I really don't want to be working overnights. Yeah, I know... whine whine whine bitch bitch bitch boo hoo... I guess I should be happy that I have an income again. It'll be fun to find out where this adventure takes me.
First off, I'd like to God and the members of the Academy for their support and belief in my picture... wait, hold on...
...sorry... that was an acceptance speech I've written to read when I win the Academy Award® for my first motion picture release. Since we all know that will never come true, I'll just put that away with my other hopes and dreams in the file cabinet of life known as the trash can.
In all seriousness, I'd like to thank Chris Kowanko and his band mates of Monsterbuck for sending me a free copy of their EP. I might have already thanked them before but I'm doing it again just to cover my bases. Check out their stuff here on MySpace or visit their website at www.mosterbuck66.com. To hear some of Chris Kowanko's solo material, check out www.kowanko.com.
I'd also like to thank my friends Mary and Bev at Sherlock's SLASH Park Place in Erie, Pennsylvania for sending me some Sherlock's SLASH Park Place t-shirts. What a nice surprise to get a gift from my official loitering spot there in Erie.
I'd like to thank another friend, Kris Blackburn, for coming over this past Saturday and hooking me up with a washer and dryer. That was extremely nice and charitable of him to go to that trouble. Thank you, Kris. These things may be older but they seem to be working great. I especially like the old school "split pea soup" green of the dryer. That is rad!
I'd also like to thank my friend and former program director, Jave Patterson, in Reno, Nevada at Pure Rock 104.5 for giving me the scoop on a possible morning show opportunity in Iowa that he recommended me for. Sadly, once their current morning show leaves, that station will more than likely go with syndicating Mancow in the morning slot.
I'd like to thank my friends, former co-workers and listeners in Erie, Pennsylvania for their continuing support after all these years. I can't help but think that my secret true calling is to return there and dominate that radio market for a while.
I'd like to thank the staff of WildVoice.com for utilizing me as a featured channel on their website. I'm still flattered by this decision of theirs. I hope my ugly mug or silly ass samples of radio shows I've done in the past, my podcasts or my videos don't prevent business for them.
And, lastly, I'd like to thank my girlfriend, the Starbucks barista, for being... well... my girlfriend. Also, thanks for the awesome sex last night. Good times!
Basically, I'm typing this blog to help me wake up. In about an hour, I'll be heading to my new job to be a dispatcher. Nothing fancy about this job, mind you. It's for a family owned and operated security company known as Peak Alarm.
Have I mentioned this already in another blog? I think I might have. I'm not sure. I'm kind of sleepy.
I'm also cold. Get this, the furnace to my apartment has been working quite well up until Thursday when, for some reason, it wouldn't turn on.
Now, what sucks about this is the fact that my thermostat also controls the heat for the apartment behind mine. Basically, where I live, is an older house that's been converted into a four-plex. Two units upstairs and a converted basement makes two units downstairs.
The furnace for the downstairs units are working fine, I guess. But the one for my unit and my neighbor went out when the maintenance man came over for some routine work to change the filters and whatnot.
Whatever he did caused the furnace not to work again. So my neighbor and I have been pretty damn cold, especially at night, for the past couple of days.
My new landlord, who just bought this property, assured me that it will be fixed but they have to replace the furnace. That won't happen until Tuesday.
So I guess it's good that I have this overnight job because I'll be in a warm office as opposed to a freezing bedroom with no heat. I'm sorry to say my neighbor will have to suffer this fate.
Before I go, I'd like to let you know that I just may lose my shit in a simulcast transmission via podcast and video of me beating the hell out of my Mr. Coffee coffee maker. I intend on putting it to death with my hammer. It's a piece of shit and needs to be taken out.
So I just might be doing that tomorrow to let out some stress and aggression when I get off work from my first day on the job. It all depends on how tired I am. I get off at eight in the morning.
OK, I'm off to work. Man, I really don't want to be working overnights. Yeah, I know... whine whine whine bitch bitch bitch boo hoo... I guess I should be happy that I have an income again. It'll be fun to find out where this adventure takes me.
10.05.2006
Practical Homicide Investigation: Fourth Edition
The subject line is the reflection of a text book I have on loan from a friend of mine that is a detective for a police department here in Salt Lake County.
When I was visiting my friend a few weeks ago, he took me out in this really cool SUV that takes pictures of license plates and runs them through a national database to see if the car is stolen.
The way the vehicle works is it has three special cameras mounted on it. Two of the cameras are on either corner of the front of the vehicle on the roof. The third is on the passenger side towards the middle of the vehicle, also mounted on the roof.
They don't really look like cameras at all. It looks more like a glorified ski rack with some weird fog lights.
The cameras are very cool themselves. Somehow, even my friend wasn't sure how, they are able to read license plates, night or day, and take a picture of them even while the vehicle is moving.
As it takes pictures, it send them to a laptop mounted inside the vehicle that runs the plates through a national database. If the plate matches to a stolen vehicle, that vehicle is pulled over.
Since grand theft auto is a serious felony, that would constitute lights and siren with guns drawn by police officers because they have no idea who or why the car was stolen and what type of individual they may encounter.
However, during this particular ride-along with my good friend, we encountered no problem plates. There are to slight flaws with this system. One is the fact that sometimes it has trouble reading some plates correctly. The other problem is that during our trip out in this specialized, crime fighting SUV, it did come across a couple of plates that set off the alert that it was stolen.
The problem was, some license plates have the same numbers and letters as other license plates in other states. For instance, if the alert goes off for 875 VGF, it shows that is a stolen car with a plate registered in New York. Not a Utah plate. Kind of a draw back but not a real big issue.
Anyway, after we spent a few hours cruising around and playing Big Brother, we went back to his office for some paperwork. There was a little paperwork to do in relation to the use of this vehicle.
The vehicle isn't owned by my friends' police department. It's actually owned by a couple of large insurance agencies that loan it out to police departments all over Utah that sign up for it. Every few weeks it's in a different city somewhere in Utah looking for stolen cars.
As my friend was doing his paperwork and telling me of his recent promotion to Detective Sergeant, I noticed a book on his shelf entitled "Practical Homicide Investigation: Fourth Edition".
I exclaimed to my friend: "OH WOW! Can I look at that?!"
He said: "Sure, Mike. But I have to warn you, my friend, there is some really gross shit in that book. So don't look at it if you get upset easily by blood and brain matter and other fucked up shit people do when they kill someone else or themselves."
I thought about that for a moment. Then morbid curiosity overcame me. I started to look at this book amazed, and disgusted, by some of the contents.
So, my friend let me borrow it so I could read it. I've read most of it and found it fascinating. It is a step by step look at every type of homicide that has been investigated. It breaks down crime scenes, motives, theories, evidence collection, questioning witnesses and suspects and blah, blah, blah.
Among all of this detailed information is pictures of not just crime scenes but of victims, suspects, evidence, CSI laboratories and specialized equipment used for collecting and processing crime scenes.
The book is written by a former New York Police Department homicide detective with 20 years under his belt investigating all kinds of shit. It is amazing as it is disturbing.
I recently talk to my friend who lent me this book and I told him I'd like to return it because I was done reading it. He asked me if I got sick at all or had any bad dreams. I informed him that it really didn't bother me.
He pointed out that most people can't stomach that kind of stuff and it takes a special type. I laughed to myself thinking "are you saying I'm a sick freak?" I know that isn't what he was insinuating because it takes a special type to be a police officer because they have to see and study the kind of stuff that is outlined in this book.
That's why there are books like this. To educate those in the business of investigating and catching criminals that commit such acts of horrible violence against another human being.
Anyway, my friend suggested I look into a job as a civilian evidence processor. Like a CSI person but not quite. Something more like an individual that goes out and takes the pictures and collects the evidence that is then processed by a CSI team or even works with a CSI team. I think that would be a cool career.
However, words and pictures in a book are a far different cry than the real deal. Some of the pictures in this book would make most of you puke, I'm sure. The human body and it's modes of decomposition over several hours is very awful. Yuck.
I told my friend that I would probably be able to stomach such a career. And since I'm a amateur photographer, I could put that to some good by taking crime scene photos.
Here is the point to this blog...
...I can brag about wanting such a career and being able to stomach it but...
...I started gagging horribly earlier while cleaning the clogged hair out of my shower drain. I found it to be the most grossest thing. I seriously almost yacked into my tub while digging out clumps of hair from my drain. I had to force and struggle myself to complete such a simple task.
Yet I seem to think I can waltz up to a crime scene where someones face has been blown off with a 12 gauge shotgun and not think twice or be bothered by it?
Uh-huh. As if.
I'm happy to get the hair out of my drain, though. Standing in used bath water as you're showering is as bad as the hair I had to free from the drain.
But pass the CSI kit so I can collect some brain matter. WHATEVER! I'm a pansy.
By the way, I turned down the airport job, people. It wasn't worth the lousy pay for the amount of responsibility required to do the job. Plus, they mislead me with what my actual job duties were going to be. They sort of pulled a bait and switch on me.
I took a job being a dispatcher for a family owned, long standing security firm. It actually pays a $1.50 more an hour than the airport job and is more of what I'm looking for right now. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that this winter, I don't want to work outside. I'll be quite content sitting in a very comfortable, roomy cubicle dispatching help to people's homes and businesses to prevent criminal activity.
You know what's weird about this particular job? You have to be licensed to do it. What's with me and jobs where I have to take shitloads of tests and do background checks and fingerprinting? Jesus. Why don't I just go work for the FBI?
I hope you've enjoyed this bizarre, random blog here. Of course, look who wrote it. I find myself very random and bizarre most of the time.
My kind of style would fit in well with a government job. I should look into that. I could get a gig the Department of Motor Vehicles.
I just got sad suddenly. I've realized that the day of my close friends death is rapidly approaching. It'll be one year since I learned of Nick "Danger" Baker's death very soon here...
... this whole blog has turned out to be not only random and bizarre but slightly dark and morbid. Much like this book I just got done sharing with all of you.
Excuse me, I'm feeling emotional right now.
I miss my friend.
I'm a fucking security dispatcher. Yeah, this is exactly where I wanted to be in life at 33 years old.
OK, I have to snap out of this. I plan on doing it by getting drunk. That'll fix everything.
What a sad state of affairs for me.
Where did I go? If someone finds me, please ask me to return to my former self. Because this sadness, loneliness, bitterness, guilt, pity and grief has to make a turn for the better.
*rolls eyes*
*sigh*
Fuck piss shit.
Everyone stand back! Mike is going way too high on the mood swing in the playground of emotion! He may get hurt! But he'll be just fine in the long run...
... as soon as he knocks it off with that talking about himself in the third person shit.
-Mike The Janitor
©2006
Millenoma Publishing
When I was visiting my friend a few weeks ago, he took me out in this really cool SUV that takes pictures of license plates and runs them through a national database to see if the car is stolen.
The way the vehicle works is it has three special cameras mounted on it. Two of the cameras are on either corner of the front of the vehicle on the roof. The third is on the passenger side towards the middle of the vehicle, also mounted on the roof.
They don't really look like cameras at all. It looks more like a glorified ski rack with some weird fog lights.
The cameras are very cool themselves. Somehow, even my friend wasn't sure how, they are able to read license plates, night or day, and take a picture of them even while the vehicle is moving.
As it takes pictures, it send them to a laptop mounted inside the vehicle that runs the plates through a national database. If the plate matches to a stolen vehicle, that vehicle is pulled over.
Since grand theft auto is a serious felony, that would constitute lights and siren with guns drawn by police officers because they have no idea who or why the car was stolen and what type of individual they may encounter.
However, during this particular ride-along with my good friend, we encountered no problem plates. There are to slight flaws with this system. One is the fact that sometimes it has trouble reading some plates correctly. The other problem is that during our trip out in this specialized, crime fighting SUV, it did come across a couple of plates that set off the alert that it was stolen.
The problem was, some license plates have the same numbers and letters as other license plates in other states. For instance, if the alert goes off for 875 VGF, it shows that is a stolen car with a plate registered in New York. Not a Utah plate. Kind of a draw back but not a real big issue.
Anyway, after we spent a few hours cruising around and playing Big Brother, we went back to his office for some paperwork. There was a little paperwork to do in relation to the use of this vehicle.
The vehicle isn't owned by my friends' police department. It's actually owned by a couple of large insurance agencies that loan it out to police departments all over Utah that sign up for it. Every few weeks it's in a different city somewhere in Utah looking for stolen cars.
As my friend was doing his paperwork and telling me of his recent promotion to Detective Sergeant, I noticed a book on his shelf entitled "Practical Homicide Investigation: Fourth Edition".
I exclaimed to my friend: "OH WOW! Can I look at that?!"
He said: "Sure, Mike. But I have to warn you, my friend, there is some really gross shit in that book. So don't look at it if you get upset easily by blood and brain matter and other fucked up shit people do when they kill someone else or themselves."
I thought about that for a moment. Then morbid curiosity overcame me. I started to look at this book amazed, and disgusted, by some of the contents.
So, my friend let me borrow it so I could read it. I've read most of it and found it fascinating. It is a step by step look at every type of homicide that has been investigated. It breaks down crime scenes, motives, theories, evidence collection, questioning witnesses and suspects and blah, blah, blah.
Among all of this detailed information is pictures of not just crime scenes but of victims, suspects, evidence, CSI laboratories and specialized equipment used for collecting and processing crime scenes.
The book is written by a former New York Police Department homicide detective with 20 years under his belt investigating all kinds of shit. It is amazing as it is disturbing.
I recently talk to my friend who lent me this book and I told him I'd like to return it because I was done reading it. He asked me if I got sick at all or had any bad dreams. I informed him that it really didn't bother me.
He pointed out that most people can't stomach that kind of stuff and it takes a special type. I laughed to myself thinking "are you saying I'm a sick freak?" I know that isn't what he was insinuating because it takes a special type to be a police officer because they have to see and study the kind of stuff that is outlined in this book.
That's why there are books like this. To educate those in the business of investigating and catching criminals that commit such acts of horrible violence against another human being.
Anyway, my friend suggested I look into a job as a civilian evidence processor. Like a CSI person but not quite. Something more like an individual that goes out and takes the pictures and collects the evidence that is then processed by a CSI team or even works with a CSI team. I think that would be a cool career.
However, words and pictures in a book are a far different cry than the real deal. Some of the pictures in this book would make most of you puke, I'm sure. The human body and it's modes of decomposition over several hours is very awful. Yuck.
I told my friend that I would probably be able to stomach such a career. And since I'm a amateur photographer, I could put that to some good by taking crime scene photos.
Here is the point to this blog...
...I can brag about wanting such a career and being able to stomach it but...
...I started gagging horribly earlier while cleaning the clogged hair out of my shower drain. I found it to be the most grossest thing. I seriously almost yacked into my tub while digging out clumps of hair from my drain. I had to force and struggle myself to complete such a simple task.
Yet I seem to think I can waltz up to a crime scene where someones face has been blown off with a 12 gauge shotgun and not think twice or be bothered by it?
Uh-huh. As if.
I'm happy to get the hair out of my drain, though. Standing in used bath water as you're showering is as bad as the hair I had to free from the drain.
But pass the CSI kit so I can collect some brain matter. WHATEVER! I'm a pansy.
By the way, I turned down the airport job, people. It wasn't worth the lousy pay for the amount of responsibility required to do the job. Plus, they mislead me with what my actual job duties were going to be. They sort of pulled a bait and switch on me.
I took a job being a dispatcher for a family owned, long standing security firm. It actually pays a $1.50 more an hour than the airport job and is more of what I'm looking for right now. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that this winter, I don't want to work outside. I'll be quite content sitting in a very comfortable, roomy cubicle dispatching help to people's homes and businesses to prevent criminal activity.
You know what's weird about this particular job? You have to be licensed to do it. What's with me and jobs where I have to take shitloads of tests and do background checks and fingerprinting? Jesus. Why don't I just go work for the FBI?
I hope you've enjoyed this bizarre, random blog here. Of course, look who wrote it. I find myself very random and bizarre most of the time.
My kind of style would fit in well with a government job. I should look into that. I could get a gig the Department of Motor Vehicles.
I just got sad suddenly. I've realized that the day of my close friends death is rapidly approaching. It'll be one year since I learned of Nick "Danger" Baker's death very soon here...
... this whole blog has turned out to be not only random and bizarre but slightly dark and morbid. Much like this book I just got done sharing with all of you.
Excuse me, I'm feeling emotional right now.
I miss my friend.
I'm a fucking security dispatcher. Yeah, this is exactly where I wanted to be in life at 33 years old.
OK, I have to snap out of this. I plan on doing it by getting drunk. That'll fix everything.
What a sad state of affairs for me.
Where did I go? If someone finds me, please ask me to return to my former self. Because this sadness, loneliness, bitterness, guilt, pity and grief has to make a turn for the better.
*rolls eyes*
*sigh*
Fuck piss shit.
Everyone stand back! Mike is going way too high on the mood swing in the playground of emotion! He may get hurt! But he'll be just fine in the long run...
... as soon as he knocks it off with that talking about himself in the third person shit.
-Mike The Janitor
©2006
Millenoma Publishing
10.02.2006
Mike's Top 20, Top 10 & Top 5
The most reliable countdown list in the history of humankind can be found right here with "Mike's Top 20, Mike's Top 10 & Mike's Top 5". Yipppeeee!
A friend of mine wrote to me last week expressing her interest in my musical choices and has actually bought several of my picks from iTunes. Well, anything I can do to help iTunes and Apple make even more money is fine by me. I should get a kickback, though. Sheesh!
Enjoy this weeks list. Or don't.
Mike's Top 20 Songs:
20: Miracle Legion "The Backyard"
19: Robert Palmer "Looking For Clues"
18: The Pixies "Where Is My Mind"
17: XTC "Dear God"
16: Devo "Whip It"
15: Don Henley "All She Wants To Do Is Dance"
14: Billy Joel "You May Be Right"
13: Lenny Kravitz "Stand By My Woman"
12: Michael Jackson "The Way You Make Me Feel"
11: George Gershwin "Rhapsody in Blue"
10: Liam Lynch "United States Of Whatever"
09: Team America "America, Fuck Yeah!"
08: The Waterboys "Somebody Might Wave Back"
07: Junior Boys "In The Morning"
06: U2 "Two Hearts Beat As One"
05: The Ocean Blue "Crash"
04: INXS "New Sensation"
03: Living Colour "Funny Vibe"
02: The Commodores "Brick House"
01: Stevie Wonder "I Believe (When I Fall In Love It Will Be Forever)
Mike's Top 10 CD's:
10: INXS "Kick"
09: U2 "War"
08: XTC "Skylarking"
07: Don Henley "Actual Miles - Henley's Greatest Hits"
06: The Waterboys "A Pagan Place"
05: The Pixies "Surfer Rosa"
04: Cake "Pressure Chief"
03: Thomas Dolby "Aliens Ate My Buick"
02: Steppenwolf "Greatest Hits"
01: Music From The Motion Picture "Team America: World Police"
Mike's Top 5 DVD's:
05: Hostage
04: Ransom
03: Invaders From Mars
02: Hannibal
01: Training Day
-Mike The Janitor
©2006
Millenoma Publishing
A friend of mine wrote to me last week expressing her interest in my musical choices and has actually bought several of my picks from iTunes. Well, anything I can do to help iTunes and Apple make even more money is fine by me. I should get a kickback, though. Sheesh!
Enjoy this weeks list. Or don't.
Mike's Top 20 Songs:
20: Miracle Legion "The Backyard"
19: Robert Palmer "Looking For Clues"
18: The Pixies "Where Is My Mind"
17: XTC "Dear God"
16: Devo "Whip It"
15: Don Henley "All She Wants To Do Is Dance"
14: Billy Joel "You May Be Right"
13: Lenny Kravitz "Stand By My Woman"
12: Michael Jackson "The Way You Make Me Feel"
11: George Gershwin "Rhapsody in Blue"
10: Liam Lynch "United States Of Whatever"
09: Team America "America, Fuck Yeah!"
08: The Waterboys "Somebody Might Wave Back"
07: Junior Boys "In The Morning"
06: U2 "Two Hearts Beat As One"
05: The Ocean Blue "Crash"
04: INXS "New Sensation"
03: Living Colour "Funny Vibe"
02: The Commodores "Brick House"
01: Stevie Wonder "I Believe (When I Fall In Love It Will Be Forever)
Mike's Top 10 CD's:
10: INXS "Kick"
09: U2 "War"
08: XTC "Skylarking"
07: Don Henley "Actual Miles - Henley's Greatest Hits"
06: The Waterboys "A Pagan Place"
05: The Pixies "Surfer Rosa"
04: Cake "Pressure Chief"
03: Thomas Dolby "Aliens Ate My Buick"
02: Steppenwolf "Greatest Hits"
01: Music From The Motion Picture "Team America: World Police"
Mike's Top 5 DVD's:
05: Hostage
04: Ransom
03: Invaders From Mars
02: Hannibal
01: Training Day
-Mike The Janitor
©2006
Millenoma Publishing
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