The hell that has been my Wal*Mart orientation

Christ, where to begin with this three ring circus.

Let's start with what I was told when I was hired. I received a call from a woman in Human Resources at the Wal*Mart Distribution Center informing me I had received a job there. (I'm not going to use names to protect the innocent and retarded)

While on the phone, the woman informed me that orientation is on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday beginning at 8 AM. I would need to bring a black ball point pen and a notepad. Pizza would even be provided on Monday to feed and welcome us new hires.

So, I woke up at 5:30 AM on Monday morning and proceeded to get ready for my new job. Getting up early is no sweat for me since I did mornings at my previous job when I was employed in the rail yard.

I shit, shaved and showered. I got dressed. I made sure to have a notepad and a black ball point pen. As a matter a fact, I brought EXTRA black ball point pens just in case my fellow new hires forgot. Someone always does.

By 6:30 AM, I was on the road. I stopped for some gas. Then I went to Starbucks for not one, but two cups of coffee. Actually, I went all out and got TWO white chocolate mochas. Mmmmmmmm, that is nectar of the Gods goodness there.

By 6:45 AM, I was on my way to Grantsville, Utah. Grantsville is west of Salt Lake about 30 minutes or so away. It's a nice drive. Plus, the west side of the Oquirrh (that's pronounced "OAKER") mountain range is quite a site in the early morning hours. Not to mention the view of the Great Salt Lake.

It is also the mountain range that is home to the world's largest open pit mine known as the Kennecott Copper Mine or the Bingham Copper Mine. Visit this link for more info: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oquirrh_Mountains

I arrived at the Wal*Mart Distribution Center just before 7:30 AM ready to start my journey. I had a huge smile on my face thanks to the white chocolate mocha I finished in the car and the one I was presently chugging down.

As I went inside, I had to identify myself to security. The woman at the security desk said I was very early because orientation didn't start until 8:30 AM.

Figures.

So she invited me to go sit in the break room and watch Fox news and enjoy some breakfast items from the Wal*Mart Distribution Center cafeteria.

They have two break rooms side by side divided by a glass partition. I came to find out later that in other "DC's" (that's how they're known... a little Wal*Mart speak for you), one is the smoking break room and the other is for non-smoking.

For whatever reason, this DC does not permit that. Now, many of you are saying that's because of the smoking laws we have in place here in Utah.

Not true.

When I helped open the Wal*Mart West Valley - South store in 2004, they had this same type of a design. It was a large break room that was split about 80/20. The front 80% was for non-smokers and the back 20% was for smokers.

And it WAS used all the time by the smokers. I know because I had picked back up smoking because of this handy smokers room. I remembering asking several times how it was legal for us to be smoking in a business like this when Utah law, from what I know, says that is illegal.

Anyway, I sat in the break room with the TV playing Fox news and watched hard hitting news stories from hard hitting Fox news talking heads.

I then started to notice other new hires showing up. You can always tell the new people because they have that "Where am I going? What am I doing?" look about them. I'm sure I had it, too.

By 8:30 AM, the Wal*Mart people had come to round us up and take us to a large conference type room to begin our orientation.

We all scattered about and took our places and sat down. Immediately, the first thing out of our trainers mouth was: "Who remembered to bring a notepad and black pen?"

A couple of people did. But a good 7 to 8 people didn't. That was about half the class. Ironically, our trainer only had three pens available to give out. Thanks to me and my thinking earlier in the morning, I had brought enough pens to cover everyone else.

I rule.

She then passed out a folder full of paperwork. Lots of paperwork. So much paperwork that it included a checklist that we would mark off as soon as we covered that subject and it's corresponding paperwork.

Our first trainer was upbeat and friendly. Very pleasant and good natured.

We also met another guy, a supervisor from the shipping department, who sat in the back of the class. He was brought in to translate in Spanish for a new hire that could not speak English.

Our trainer took care of our basic requirements like the W4 and I-9 forms as well as getting our identification photocopied and getting our pictures taken for our DC identification badge.

After her, we got a frazzled guy who covered the aspects of the history of Wal*Mart and insight into our specific job locations by taking us on a tour. He also showed us a couple of videos. One was the A&E Biography on Sam Walton (the founder of Wal*Mart). Another was an "educational" video on telling us why Wal*Mart is not part of a Union and never, NEVER will be.

(Personally, I agree with this. Most people I've encountered that work for Unions are lazy OR work hard and are getting screwed by over-the-top Union dues)

He then showed us another video in relation to the history of Wal*Mart and how it's now in 1200 locations internationally. It's actually quite amazing as it is impressive.

Then he played a game with us to help us recall all the stuff we saw in both the A&E Biography and the Wal*Mart produced history video.

We then broke for lunch and, as promised, they provided us with pizza.

After lunch, we covered more aspects of how to treat one another in the workplace and sexual harassment and the "Open Door" policy. We were shown a couple more videos.

As a matter a fact, remember the supervisor I mentioned earlier was was brought in to translate? During one of these videos, he actually sat in the back of the room talking on the phone which was really distracting. More distracting then his translating.

As our trainer brought the day to a close, just before 4 PM (again, we all thought we'd be there until 5:30 PM), he showed us one last video called "Remembering Charlie". It was basically a story told by a man named Charlie who once worked for Exxon Oil.

It was a pretty intense story of how Charlie was burned over 50% of his body because he hadn't followed safety procedures. He also caused a massive explosion at his Exxon refinery and had to have substantial reconstruction surgery because of the burns to his face, arms and upper torso.

The video was just a way to remind us to follow procedures and be safe. Never take short cuts and NEVER think that it won't happen to you.

Yes, I get it. I worked in a rail yard where you constantly had to be safe and aware. One of the reasons I left the rail yard was because there was clearly drug abuse going on by some employed there and there is no room for that kind of behavior in a rail yard. Or anywhere, for that matter.

Which, let me interrupt my storytelling here to share something else with you. Shortly after I walked off the job in the rail yard, I was informed by investigating members of upper management of my former employer, that I was going to probably hear from the Union Pacific Police Department because of an incident that happened.

From what I was told, one of the vehicles that belonged to my former employer, had been seriously vandalized. And, of course, my former boss (who I strongly suspected of drug abuse) had tried to put the blame on me.

Now, I was not only questioned about this by members of upper management overseeing a formal complaint I had filed against my former boss, but the Union Pacific Police did call.

What's funny about all this, is the fact that the U.P. police officer didn't ask me any questions. He just said he was making a routine call to remind me that I was no longer allowed on the property.

I then realized that the person responsible for vandalizing the work truck was, more than likely, my former boss. The reason I know this in my gut is because this is the kind of stunt he would pull because he's a spoiled brat.

I also recalled that he had told me several times that he wanted to buy new Jeeps to use as yard trucks as opposed to the trucks he presently had.

So, of course, I presented him with an opportunity to get rid of one. Why not destroy one of your own vehicles and blame it on an obvious disgruntled worker? That way you can claim it on the company insurance and get yourself a pretty, new Jeep!

Of course, I don't need to say this, but I will. I never vandalized that vehicle and I've never set foot on that property again after I left.

Well, I do know that my blogs really got under his skin. I also have digital photos of my blogs printed out and posted on bulletin boards in the rail yard facility that a employee was nice enough to take and email to me.

The guy is lucky I didn't sue him and his father's company. I came SOOOOOOO close. I even paid $320 to have the papers drawn up to serve my former employer. But then I realized that he'll get his in the form of karma. No doubt about it. And why should I turn into some kind of sue happy prick, anyway? Let it go, move on.

OK, so I'm still a little bitter about all of this. I LOVED my job in the rail yard. And for it to come down to me feeling like I was forced to quit because I knew that my boss was an irrational, lazy, possible dope smoker with no management capabilities or business sense really, REALLY pisses me off to this day.

I'm looking forward to the day I run into him again. I really am.

Anyway, where the hell was I was with this Wal*Mart story? OH YEAH, let's pick up with day 2. Before we left on day 1, I distinctly recall our trainer saying to be back the next morning at 8 AM. The reason being is the fact they had double booked orientations and would need the conference room around 2 PM for another class.

On day two, we all showed up at 8 AM and clocked in. We went into the conference room and waited. At 8:30 AM, our trainer (who is the "Asset Protection" supervisor {formerly known as "Loss Prevention"}) showed up and asked how long we had been there.

Several of us informed him that we were told to be there at 8 AM. He immediately got pissy with us and said orientation begins at 8:30 AM and he made it clear he didn't appreciate the fact we had been sitting around "twiddling our thumbs".

From there, the guy was pretty much a hard ass as we went through safety aspects of our jobs as well as loss prevention... errr... asset protection. We watched a few videos on safety and proper handling and inspection of power equipment.

Of course, we also followed along with the vast amounts of paperwork in our folders and made sure to check things off on the accompanying checklist.

Then we wrapped up at around 2 PM and were sent home. Another day of not working until 5:30 PM as we had all been instructed would happen when we were hired.

On the third day, we all made sure to be there at 8:30 AM as to not upset the Wal*Mart Gestapo. We had two more trainers. The first covered basic aspects and benefits of Wal*Mart like our Wal*Mart Discount Card for 10% off in Wal*Mart stores. She also taught us the Wal*Mart cheer, which I already knew from my prior time with Wal*Mart.

She also made it clear that one of her biggest pet peeves were people who pull a no call/no show. She wanted us all to know that if we couldn't hack it at the Distribution Center, to at least call and inform someone in management. She followed that statement by saying, (I'm not making this up):

"I guarantee that at least one of you in this class will pull a no call/no show!"

I realize that no call/no shows are frustrating to employers and employees. But I do not agree with a trainer being so pissy about it and letting personal feelings cloud her judgement. This just brings down the morale of new hires who would like to feel wanted and appreciated as opposed to a possible risk.

This also stuck me that CLEARLY this Distribution Center has been suffering from a serious turnover problem that they just can't seem to shake. Well, when you've got trainers like this, it's no wonder.

Our last and final trainer was, by far, the most bitchy. Right off the bat, she came off completely uninterested to be there and somewhat frustrated by our questions. It was her responsibility to educate us on all the medical and dental benefits offered by Wal*Mart.

One of my first questions was "When do our benefits start?". She informed us in 90 days of employment.

However, as she started a video, the video contradicted what she had told us. In the video covering our benefits, it said they start on the 181st day of employment. Then one of the other new hires opened up his employment benefits handbook that we had received and showed me that it said the same thing.

To which I said "Didn't she tell us 90 days? What the hell?"

Right about then, the lights came on and Gestapo Lady stormed to the front of the room, turned off the video player and told us to stand up because we were going to do the Wal*Mart cheer.

She then yells to the back of the class to the translating supervisor: "Hey, {supervisor's name here}, why are we doing the Wal*Mart cheer?"

Translating supervisor: "Because no one is paying attention!"

With that, we were off doing the Wal*mart cheer. What makes this funny is that our trainer was so pissed, that she didn't completely spell "Wal*Mart" in our Wal*Mart cheer. She did, however, spell "Wal*Mar".

After that, she told us to be quiet and pay attention. At this point, I was pissed. This is no way to treat new hires. Especially when it comes to questions regarding health benefits. So as she stormed off to the back of the room so we could continue to watch the video, I spoke up and said:

"Listen, I think all of us are just a little confused about when our benefits actually start."

To which she said, quite rudely: "Well, that's what I'm here for so watch the video."

We watched the video and the mood of the room was sucked dry by her attitude and and obvious dislike in having to train anymore people.

We then spent a good two hours covering the health benefits (which DO start in 90 days for Distribution Associates), dental benefits, 401K and profit sharing. Out of all the training and paperwork, this was the longest of all of them and the most detailed.

With that, we were pretty much done with orientation. But we were informed that some of us would have to come back the following day (today) to finish up one last element of training. That would be our "CBL" modules. That stands for "Computer Based Learning".

So, here I'm thinking I've got two days off before I start my actual shift on Saturday morning at 5:00 AM.

Nope, I had to go in this morning at 8:30 AM, again, and finish my "training" by doing two hours of computer based learning. And these computer modules were just a recap of everything I had learned during the past three days. I was out of there buy 10:30 AM.

As I look back on these three days, I can understand the position of this DC's management being stressed out and under the gun from corporate. Without enough employees, your production falls behind and everyone starts getting irritated because of the additional workload.

I know that this DC is on a HUGE hiring craze. At the time of my hire, they had 731 employees. I'm not sure how many they need to make the DC run smoother but it's obviously A LOT more than 731.

I'd like to move into a position with this DC where I oversee training the new hires. New hires need to be put at ease and made to feel welcome while realizing that they are going to be working hard and will be held accountable for mistakes.

Right now, they seem to be just going through the motions with uncaring tactics that does nothing for morale and makes you feel like you don't matter because you'll probably just wind up leaving anyway and wasting everyone's time.

This is unacceptable and needs to change. I have a completely different idea of Wal*Mart right now then when I worked for Wal*Mart the last time. However, I am looking at it from both sides of the fence and understand where the behavior comes from.

I'm still looking forward to officially starting my job on Saturday morning and seeing just what it entails. I just hope I don't encounter the same attitudes as I did in this orientation. That isn't pleasant for anyone involved.

I'm not trying to be negative here. I'm just voicing some frustrations and concerns I witnessed and I'm not even working yet.

Yikes.

Well, my ass is falling asleep in this chair I'm sitting on here in Starbucks. I can't feel my legs. By the way, the free internet is still not working at home. I have a suspicion that it's probably gone for good.

Well, that sucks.

At least I have my Starbucks. *sips coffee* Shit... my coffee is cold.

-Mike The Janitor
©2006
Millenoma Publishing