Always the right job. Always.

They say third time is a charm. For me at this particular moment in time, this is true to form.

Yesterday while I was busy boobing about my buddy Nick in the Pulitzer Prize® winning blog "No, Mike. Not Rick... NICK", I received a phone call.

The phone call was from the Wal*Mart Distribution Center that is located about 30 minutes west of where I live. It's on the outskirts of a small town known as Grantsville. Grantsville is like a small suburb of Tooele in Tooele County.

For those of you who aren't from the Utah area, that is pronounced "TWO ILL UH" and not "TOO LEE".

Anyway, out of all the jobs I've applied for recently, this is one of the better paying ones. I'm actually starting out making more money than I was making in the rail yard when I quit. Plus, you get a raise every six months.

I was out there yesterday morning for a final interview and the guy who interviewed me really busted my balls. He couldn't understand why someone with my talent and background would want to come and throw boxes all day. He wasn't being rude. He was just making sure I knew what I was getting into.

Yes, I know. I'm getting into the back of a tractor trailer and unloading or loading goods either by hand or with a forklift. Yeah, I got it. It's cool. I'm so ready. Give me a forklift right now. Let's go! The consumers of Wal*Mart need their shit! I know because I shop there!

Now, I've run into this problem at other jobs I've applied at. I even ran into it before getting the job at the rail yard. But I can always get the job because I'm a good employee at whatever I do, I believe.

If I'm not going to get back into radio anytime soon or at all, I want something that pays well that I can be happy with. I also want growth potential and long term career goal options.

You're probably chuckling to yourself thinking "Wal*Mart is the job you wanted?!" HELL YES! It's a stable company and THE seller of consumer goods in the world. I've always wanted to rule the world. And with Wal*Mart's help, I CAN FINALLY ACHIEVE WORLD DOMINATION! MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Plus, let's not forget the 10% discount I'll receive in all Wal*Mart and Sam's Club stores!

I'm quite capable of loading and unloading goods all day. He gave me a tour of the facility and I can't even describe to you what I saw. It was fantastic the operation they have there. The building is probably the size of four or five football fields. I've never seen anything quite like it.

The schedule I have will be full time and it's great! I picked working three twelve hour shifts from 5 AM to 5:30 PM on Saturday, Sunday and Monday. By getting the weekend shift, I get an additional $1.35 more an hour for a shift differential. AWESOME!

I was happy when I got this. Really. I even remember doing a slight cheer and thanking my buddy Nick for looking out for me. And I'm sure he was looking down at me with a Jack & Coke saying: "WAL*MART?! REALLY? Well, good luck, jackass!"

I start an orientation on Monday. I guess I won't need to be going back to the dispatch job at Peak Alarm. I better give them a call. Let's recap here... I went from the airport to to alarm company to Wal*Mart in a matter of a couple of weeks. Super. Third time IS a charm.

I just realized that I totally spaced on doing my weekly "Mike's Top 20, Mike's Top 10 & Mike's Top 5" list. Whoops.

Well, I need to get to the post office and mail some things. I also have plans for the rest of this week to get really shit faced in celebration and...

... mourning.

-Mike The Janitor
©2006
Millenoma Publishing